When Will I See You Again (39 page)
“Ever?” Alexx frowned, his brows meeting over his nose, his eyes searching Raoul’s.
Raoul thought for a moment, letting the question permeate him, testing his feelings on the matter. Then and now. What was then versus what was now. And he knew…
“Ever,” he repeated. “I was happy then, yes. Very happy. But you make me happy in ways I hadn’t thought possible. In your ways.”
“I don’t want to be him,” Alexx whispered.
“Neither do I want you to be. I only want you to be who you are. Alexx. My Alexx.”
“Your Alexx,” Alexx echoed. They leaned together and breathed their love jointly.
When they drew apart, Alexx said, “I have to ask you something. I don’t want to, but I have to know.”
“Ask me anything,” Raoul insisted. “Anything.”
“That room… Have you been in it since…I left?”
Raoul had to stop and consider the question, remembering his actions of the past week before he shook his head. To be honest, it hadn’t crossed his mind. “I haven’t been back to the cabin since. I couldn’t bear to sleep there without you. I’ve been sleeping in my office.”
Alexx breathed out his pent-up breath. “That room…”
“It’s nothing but a room filled with things that belong in the past. To a history that’s gone. I should never have held on to it.”
“No, that’s not true.” Alexx laid a finger across Raoul’s lips, looking into his eyes. “You loved him. I understand that. And I know he loved you. Nothing will change that, or erase what Foster did to you both. Nothing can take away those memories. And they shouldn’t. They’re yours to cherish. But we can make new memories, you and me. Together. If you want to.”
If he wanted to? Raoul could scarcely believe what he was hearing. Was Alexx offering them a second chance to be together?
“Oh yes, I want to. More than anything in the world, I want to be with you, and you alone, Alexx. I swear it. I know you’re not him, I realize that, and I’m sorry if I ever made you doubt how I feel about you. Maybe I wanted to see him in you, maybe I needed to. I don’t know.”
“And maybe he brought us together somehow. And maybe there
is
a small part of him inside of me. There are things I can’t explain, things I know but I don’t know how I know them. But I
also know this. I am not him, and I want to believe that you know the difference between us. Otherwise, this will never work.”
“What would you like me to do?” Raoul asked. “Anything you want, I’ll do.”
Alexx leaned in, his breath warm in Raoul’s ear as he whispered, “Take me home and make love to me.”
“Gladly.” Raoul claimed Alexx’s lips as he rose, pulling him to his feet. “My car or yours?”
“Are you crazy? Yours, of course.” Alexx grinned and held out his hand. “Give me the key, wolf-boy.”
Raoul arched his brows. “Wolf-boy, you say? We’ll see about that. And the valet has the key, remember?”
“Then we’ll just have to get it back.” He smirked.
“I guess we will.” Raoul took Alexx’s hand in his, twining their fingers. He pressed the back of Alexx’s hand to his lips and kissed it reverently. “Let’s go.” They reentered the ballroom where the dancers were engaged in a lively gavotte. They carefully threaded their way among them, heading toward the exit. He spotted his parents standing together, near the same spot where they’d been before. He started to pause, to explain, but when he saw their knowing grins he realized they knew more than he did, so they simply flew by with a quick wave, heading out of the hotel.
The valet brought the Ferrari, and they took their accustomed places in it, laughing together for no good reason. The air between them had suddenly cleared, as if a storm had passed and taken away the thickness, leaving behind clean, fresh air once more.
Mindful of every traffic light and stop sign, they made their way to the cabin. Exiting the car, Alexx leapt into Raoul’s arms, and they wound their limbs together as Raoul traversed the few steps to the door and inside, then carried his precious cargo to the
bedroom. They stripped hastily and tossed their tuxedoes aside, before falling on the bed together, naked.
“I missed you,” Raoul murmured, straddling Alexx, trailing tender kisses across his cheek, nibbling at his earlobe and nipping at it gently.
“I missed you too, Raoul. Oh God, I missed you.” He slid his hand between them, grasping Raoul’s cock, eliciting a moan. “I need you, Raoul, so badly.”
His words were most gratifying to Raoul’s bruised soul. He could not stop touching Alexx, caressing him, exploring him, as if to reassure himself that he was really there, and not just a phantom of his imagination.
“Not too hard,” he cautioned Alexx, “if you do, I might not last long.”
“Oh yeah? What about that so-called werewolf stamina I hear so much about?” Alexx boldly asked.
“Right now, it’s melting,” Raoul admitted. “You make me weak, and you make me strong. But most of all, Alexx, you make me happy.”
He was rewarded with a brilliant smile as Alexx continued to work his cock. “Got lube?” Alexx whispered.
“For you? Of course.” Raoul stretched across the bed, reaching for the bedside table, which was just out of reach. Alexx suddenly rolled them both over, closer to the edge of the bed.
“Let me get it,” he began, but Raoul was too quick, and suddenly usurped the upper position once more.
“No, let me.” He grinned, rummaging inside the drawer before coming up with the almost empty tube. The one they’d only opened when Alexx moved into the cabin. “Got it!”
They scooted back into the center of the bed.
“Let me have that,” Alexx begged prettily and Raoul handed it to him, watching as he greased two fingers with the scented gel before he took Raoul in hand once more, covering his cock.
“Finger me, Raoul,” he begged, and how could Raoul say no?
He spread the lube on his own fingers as Alexx trembled in anticipation. When Alexx spread his legs farther apart, Raoul stroked him gently and slid two slicked fingers inside. Alexx moaned, tightening his muscles about the digits.
“Feel good, love?”
“Oh yes, oh yes. Harder, Raoul, harder.”
Raoul thrust his fingers as far as he could, angling to reach Alexx’s prostate, his touch sending him into paroxysms of pleasure.
“Oh God, oh God, oh God.” He arched his back, an expression of rapture consuming his face. “Please, I need you, Raoul. Please, be inside of me.”
Touching his prostate again for good measure, Raoul removed his fingers, and positioned himself between Alexx’s legs. Alexx tucked his legs back against his chest, holding them there to make it easier for Raoul to enter him, which he did in one hard push, clutching Alexx’s hips firmly as he did so. At the same time, he grasped Alexx’s weeping cock and began to pump it, murmuring his name as if it were a mantra, a litany of peace. Over and over and over. “Alexx, Alexx, Alexx.”
He staved off his orgasm until he felt Alexx’s release as it spurted between them, Alexx’s mouth an
O
of amazement as his cock spasmed inside Raoul’s grasp. He kept thrusting inside of him, several more long hard thrusts until he could hold back no longer and he came, filling Alexx with his seed. And when he was spent, they collapsed together bonelessly and breathed together
their contentment.
Raoul must have dozed off. When he opened his eyes once more, his head lay in Alexx’s lap, very comfortably so. He looked up and met Alexx’s gaze upon him. “Sorry,” he apologized. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.”
“Shhh, don’t be sorry, you’re tired. You look like you haven’t been sleeping well, have you?”
“No, not really,” Raoul admitted with a yawn. “That couch is not all that comfortable. And besides…”
“Besides?”
“You weren’t there.”
“I’m here now. And I’m not leaving. I promise.”
“Good,” Raoul murmured, patting the bed. “Come on down here, and let’s get some sleep together.”
Alexx slid beside Raoul, curling up against him. They nestled together, as Raoul draped the sheets over their bodies.
“Raoul, I’ve been thinking,” Alexx began, hesitantly.
“Hmmm? What’ve you been thinking?”
“We should hold a memorial. For Jamie. At the beach.”
“A memorial?” Raoul lifted Alexx’s chin, gazing into his eyes, as if searching for answers.
“A memorial.” Alexx nodded. “To give him some peace, now that we know the truth. And you, too.”
“Peace,” Raoul repeated.
“And Raoul?”
“Yes, love?”
“If you want me to stay… That room can’t stay the way it is…you know?”
“I know.” Raoul nodded solemnly. “I think I’m ready to dismantle it now. It served its purpose. But it’s time to move on.”
“We can do it together. If you want my help, that is?”
“I do want your help. Now and always. You are my center. I feel lost without you, Alexx. You are my rudder.”
“And you are mine.”
Raoul yawned again, and Alexx mimicked his actions.
“Tomorrow,” Raoul promised. “After we get up. Agreed?”
“Agreed. Tomorrow, we can talk about other stuff. But not now. I think I’d just like to go sleep now. How about you?”
“Sounds like a plan,” Raoul agreed.
They situated themselves for sleep, Alexx pillowing his head against Raoul’s chest.
“I love you, Alexx Jameson,” Raoul murmured.
“And I love you, Raoul Marchand,” Alexx replied, before adding, “wolf-boy,” beneath his breath.
Raoul laughed and held him close. “Be careful how you say that. The wolf doesn’t have my sense of humor.”
“Oh Jeez,” Alexx mumbled.
They kissed once, twice, or a hundred times before falling asleep, the moonlight that fell through the bedroom window the sole witness of their love for now.
JULIE LYNN HAYES
Julie Lynn Hayes was reading at the age of two and writing by the age of nine, and always wanted to be a writer when she grew up.
Two marriages, five children, and more than forty years later, and that is still her dream. She blames her younger daughters for introducing her to yaoi and the world of M/M love, a world which has captured her imagination and her heart and fueled her writing in ways she’d never dreamed of before. She especially loves stories of two men finding true love and happiness in one another's arms and is a great believer in the happily ever after. She lives in St. Louis with her daughter Sarah and two cats, loves books and movies, and hopes to be a world traveler some day. She enjoys crafts, such as crocheting and cross stitch, knitting and needlepoint, and loves to cook. While working a temporary day job, she continues to write her books and stories and reviews, which she posts in various places on the internet. Her family thinks she is a bit off, but she doesn’t mind. Marching to the beat of one’s own drummer is a good thing, after all. Her published works can be found at various e-book publishers. She has also begun to self-publish and is an editor at MuseitUp.
To learn more about Julie, please visit her website:
http://julielynnhayes.blogspot.com
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