When the Smoke Clears (Interracial Firefighter Romance) (20 page)

“And what about Faith? Is she still going crazy over that pop singer? What was his name?”

“Ring Bop.”

More tears fell from her eyes and this time she didn’t wipe them. “That’s such a weird name.”

“Cicely.” I extended my hand to wipe her face.

She backed up. “When we were married, you always loved me? Right?”

“Yes.”

She stared at the ground. “Do you still love me?”

I couldn’t lie to her, no matter how bad she appeared. I couldn’t give her false hope for a reunion, when absolutely none existed. “Cicely, I think we should focus on getting you some help and then getting you to the point where you can see the girls. I could even get you a hotel or—”

“I have a hotel room on Tamiami Trail.”

I let out a long breath. “That’s not exactly a safe area for anybody. I wouldn’t walk over there at night and I’m a big guy. Somebody could mistake you for a hooker.”

She laughed and then turned back to the door. “Are they still honor roll?”

“Yes.”

“They get their brains and motivation from you,” she said.”

“No. It takes a lot to survive the things you have. You’ve got tons of street smarts.”

She stared at me with a blank look. “You have no idea what I’ve survived in my life.”

“No, I don’t. Maybe you should tell me or. . .somebody.”

“My
Sweet and Low
.”

My heart ached at the nickname she used to call me. It reminded me of when she was better.

She sighed. “You’re always trying to help me. I’m fine.” She scratched her arm. “I’m doing just fine.”

I tried not to get aggravated. Here was a woman who’d been so beautiful and passionate about life, and now she stood in front of me like a worn-down skeleton. “So why did you come?”

“Why do I always come?”

I dug in my pockets and took out all the money I had. “I can’t do this anymore, Cicely. I can’t.”

“Why not?” She raised one ragged eyebrow.

“Because you’re getting worse, and I think that all I’m doing is funding your death. I’m just helping you get on with killing yourself.” I took the hundred dollars bills out and then closed it in my hand. “No, I’m not going to do this.”

She pierced me with her gaze, and no peace or humor appeared in her eyes. “You’ll give me that money and more, every time I come or one day I’ll pick the girls up from school, take them down to my hotel room, and I’ll have them make the money for me. I bet those young little pussies would make me way more than that flimsy hundred dollars.”

She laughed aloud on the porch.

Hot anger flashed in my eyes. My hands were around her throat before I could even comprehend it all.

Shit!

I let go and threw the money on the floor. “Get the fuck out of here, and don’t you ever come around them. Don’t even. . .”

Fear swam in her eyes, although she tried to laugh it off, when she picked up the bills. “My poor Sweat and Low. Always trying to save us
sad little females
. I bet you’re a good father.”

“Get out of here, Cicely.”

She pocketed the money, stared at the door one more time with a sad look, and then walked away. Inside of me, darkness twirled and pain swelled. Guilt rained down on me. It itched at my skin and I scratched my arms as Cicely had been doing on my porch.

Shit.

Every time I saw her, I felt dirty like my soul was in need of cleansing. What we were doing was wrong. I couldn’t continue giving her money. I had to stop feeding her habit. I had to save her, at least so she’d be there, clean and sober, to wave at my girls when they walked across the stage for their graduations.

I had to be better. And even worse, I had to tell my twins the truth. I couldn’t pretend, anymore.

“Damn it. What am I going to do about her?” I slumped against the door and didn’t want return inside to face my daughters. How would they feel if they knew I was giving their mother drug money? Bills to fill her up with more poison. How would they feel if she died one day and knew I’d helped her along?

My phone rang and I didn’t want to check it. No one would’ve called, but my mother or one of my sisters to bitch about Tampa Bay possibly losing the game. But something told me to look.

Kassie’s name came up on the screen.

My voice cracked at the end of the word. “Hello?”

“Hey, Lorenzo.”

“Uh. . .hey.”

“Am I catching you at a bad time?” Her voice, alone, began calming me, and somehow, I knew I would be okay.

“No just talk to me for a few minutes.”

“What?” she asked. “Are you okay?”

“Kind of.”

“Kind of doesn’t sound like okay. What’s going on?” Just like that she switched into mommy mode. “What’s wrong?”

I smiled. It felt good to have someone try to be my hero, for once. “I have a problem. . .that I’ve had for a while.”

I let out an exhausting breath. “This thing just comes up sometimes out of the blue and just. . .rubs me raw.”

“What is it? Wait. You don’t have to tell me, if you don’t want to.”

She’s already scared. I don’t want to freak her out anymore with the fact that my baby mama is a drug addicted prostitute that I give money to so she won’t kidnap my kids. That’s too much for any normal woman to handle, no matter how good she is.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I confessed.

“Okay. I understand.” Worry still lingered in her voice. “But there’s something that my mom always said. In fact, she just said it to me today. Look, I’m not a super religious person, but I do try to follow this rule. Let God and let go.”

“Let God and let go,” I repeated.

“Yes.”

“Kassie?”

Her voice lowered. “Yes.”

“I have to see you, again.” I hoped she didn’t catch the desperation in my voice. “I really have to see you, again. I’m. . .I’m feeling you really bad.”

She giggled. “You’re feeling me? Does that mean you have a little crush on Kassie?”

“Yes, baby.”

“That’s interesting.”

“No, what’s interesting is that you’re playing hard to get, when you’re feeling me as much as I’m feeling you.”

“I’m not.”

“I want to see you, again. When can I?”

“Whenever,” she whispered.

“Be careful, Kassie. I’ll be over there, right now.”

“Well, not today. But anytime this week you could come over and chat for a few. . .”

“Hours,” I groaned.

“Must you say it that way?”

“I may have to pop over then, just to say hi.”

“I think I would like that.”

“Oh you’ll like it. Trust me.”

She laughed. “Anyway, I just called to tell you thank you for your assistance in my story. That was a big help.”

“Is the demon going to get laid?”

“Stop focusing on the demon and concentrate on the heroine.”

“I can’t help it. He might’ve been given the parts of an evil creature, but I bet he’s a lovable little devil on the inside.”

“He is the villain, Mr. Ego. Stop relating to him.”

“He’s not the villain. He’s the hero and he’s going to fuck the shit out of the heroine.”

Her laughter beautifully traveled over the line.

“I can’t wait until you finish it.”

“Why?”

“I’m going to read it.”

“I don’t know.”

“I’m reading the Wench’s Tail now. I love mermaids!”

“Oh, God.”

“Especially mermaids with huge breasts that milk their lovers. Talk about hot and nasty.”

“Stop reading my book.”

“What’s crazy is that you managed to put all of this hot stuff into the story, but I feel like you’re talking about other things, too. Like how love heals and the power of faith against the odds.”

“Uh. . .you’re really reading it.”

“Of course.”

“Yeah, I was talking about that. In fact, God. . .it’s been so long, I forgot I even wrote that way.”

“I’m loving the sex in between the messages.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re a talented writer and I want to milk you badly and maybe grab a hold of your tail.”

“I think you should return back to the
hmmms
.”

“And if I don’t?” I asked.

“Then I’ll have to punish you like the mermaids disciplined violators.”

A vision of her on her knees and my cock in her mouth came to mind. Just like in her novel, I would be tied up in front of her and naked with no ability to move any of my limbs. And she would suck on my tip unbearably long, while I begged and begged for her to let me free to fuck her. If she ever said that again, I would come right in my pants. The image was that hot. So vibrant and in color. Her naked breasts bobbed hard chocolate nipples to my eyes’ delight. Her moans would trigger hysteria in my cock. Her wet, warm mouth. The taste of her skin and the scent of her pussy, while she dripped for me.

Punish me, Kassie.

But I couldn’t even say those words as a shiver ran through me.

All I could say was, “Hmmm.”

Chapter 13

Kassie

“
I
have to see you again,” he’d said. “I really have to see you again. I’m. . .I’m feeling you really bad.”

“You’re feeling me? Does that mean you have a little crush on Kassie?”

“Yes, baby.”

Lorenzo’s words on the phone and our kiss on the beach played in my mind all Sunday night. When I woke up that Monday morning, my body could find no peace. I rushed through Richard’s and my morning routine, ready getting him to school so I could get back home and relieve myself from all Lorenzo had started.

By eight thirty, I was back home and one thought of Lorenzo’s body in his swim trunks made my panties soaking wet. He was something melted and delicious, not chocolate or caramel, but something even more. I could taste him in my mouth, feel him sliding down my throat, and warming my belly.

I wanted to fuck him. I couldn’t deny it no matter how hard I tried. I wanted his hands all over me, toying and teasing. His lips nibbling and kissing. Every cell craved him in the worst way.

I knew he was a fucking fire starter. Freaking demon man.

Horny, I sat in front of my computer, searching for something hot to masturbate to. Lorenzo had sparked crazy lust in me. Hormones had been bouncing around in my body since our kiss at the beach. I would’ve taken care of my horniness last night, but by the time I came home, I had Rich’s bath and bedtime story to oversee. Once I hit the bed, my fingers lay between my thighs and I passed out between the sheets with Lorenzo’s face in my mind.

Now, I had the time. I turned off my phone. Rich sat at school. Besides writing, I had nothing to do until three in the afternoon. And if Mama Ganga showed up, I would simply ignore her until I was done. I needed to come.

It’s time to take care of me. Enough is enough. I mean sex is a health thing. You have to come for nutrients or something. It’s a biology thing. I know that much.

An hour passed while I scanned the Porn Central and I hadn’t even started masturbating. There were many categories—from big dicks to ebony, and cumshot compilations to erotic parodies.

Goodness. I could sit here all day just trying to figure out which category I’m going to pick.

Hentai intrigued me with its cartoon heroines drowning in semen and weeping in confused ecstasy. I might’ve spent some time on the orgy videos, twisting my head in odd angles to see who was doing what and how. Next, were the cream pie pornos that stopped my coffee drinking and made me switch to the good old MILF section. There, I faced even more decisions—interracial to anal, squirting or rough sex.

Rough sex, maybe?

I’d never been for it, but something intrigued me about checking it out. Lorenzo had a big beastly thing going for him—huge frame and hard muscle. He moved around like a sleek and dangerous animal, towering and strong. If I gave him a chance, I didn’t think he’d be soft and gentle. I pictured his cock going in, deep and hard. A rough ride to sexual bliss. I’d lose myself with a man like him, and then he would chew my heart up and spit me out.

No relationship would ever last. I learned that the hard way with the destruction of my marriage. I would never forget that lesson.

Still, I clicked on the rough sex category and found a bulky brother nude and hovering over a cute blonde with huge breasts. She wore nothing but a dog chain around her neck. Silver bulbs pierced her pink nipples.

“Yeah, bitch,” the black guy said. “Get on your fucking knees and take it.”

“Yes, Daddy! So sorry, Daddy.” The actress lowered to the floor.

I scrunched my face in confusion. “That’s not how it is. Right?”

“Oh yeah. Suck on my balls.” He stuffed her mouth with them. “Put my chocolate balls in that milky mouth of yours.”