When Sparks Fly (94 page)

My head feels as if my brain is floating in the ocean. Things are out of focus. I can’t recall what happened last night – or how I ended up in bed. But I know this feeling – this comes after getting an injection for pain.

I turn my head to the side and suck in air. My heart leaps into my throat and starts doing a happy dance that actually makes my chest hurt. He’s here – Grant is lying in bed next to me, softly snoring.

This can’t be real. I’ve woken this way so many times in the past, only to find my eyes were playing tricks on me. My mind showing me what my heart is desperate to see.

My hand is shaking. My fingertips graze the scruff along his jaw. He’s warm and the heat invades my body, filling my soul with hope. His eyes open and he peers at me for a second, seemingly as confused at his being here as I am.

Then he rolls over and smiles. “Good morning. How’re you feeling?”

“You’re real.” I let my fingers traverse the prickly whiskers and glide over his lips. “I dreamed about this so many times.”

He gently takes my hand and holds it firmly against his lips.

“Yeah, I’m real… and here. And, if you’ll ever forgive me, I’m never going away.” His eyes hold me hostage.

My brain is buzzing with the sudden onslaught of emotions and visions from the past. Visions from last night.

“What changed? You were so mad at me.” I remember how he dropped to his knees beside me, his voice filled with panic, his eyes wide with questions and confusion. He picked me up, brought me here. Held me while Carlos gave me the injection. “Carlos told you what happened to me.”

“Only some very basic information.” He takes a deep breath. “I finally read your letter.”

He closes the distance between us, resting his forehead against mine. “I’m an ass. I couldn’t see past my own hurt… and pride. It never occurred to me that you hadn’t intentionally left me standing in that park. When you cut our call short and I couldn’t get you to answer again, I immediately figured you changed your mind about me – about us.”

He pulls away enough to look me in the eyes. His hand caresses my cheek, his thumb swiping at the tear slowly running down my face. “I’m so sorry, baby. So sorry it took me this long to finally pull my head out of my ass.”

“You didn’t trust me?” My heart sinks into my stomach.

“It wasn’t you, Jordyn. It’s me. I’ve been hurt so many times, and I just assume I’m not worthy of love – I mean, not that you loved me, but…” he closes his eyes and drops his head for a moment. His chest is moving faster, his breathing heavier. “I’m fucking this up.”

I place my hand under his chin and lift it, forcing him to look at me. “I wish you could see what I see in you. I wish you could see what’s in my heart – what you placed in my heart. A seed of hope that you nurtured until…”

A lump lodges in my throat and I can’t speak. “Until the accident,” Grant says. “God, Jordyn, I could have given you your memories back months ago. I could’ve helped you heal – made sure you knew that I would always be there for you. Made sure you knew you weren’t alone.”

“Maybe, but there’s no way of knowing if my memories would’ve come back any earlier. And you did bring them back – sort of.”

“Can you ever forgive me?” His voice is almost inaudible. He presses his lips against my fingers again, but doesn’t look at me.

“Do you forgive me?”

He raises his eyes to mine, his eyebrows scrunching together.

“If I had just been patient, waited until the cab got closer to the fountain… but I jumped out and darted across the street without thinking. All I wanted was to get to you, and I ended up keeping us apart for nearly a year. I did this to us. I made you doubt, made you think I had left you, and I couldn’t even remember you to tell you that you had it all wrong.”

His fingers sweep away the hair in my eyes. “What did you want to talk to me about in Chicago?”

“What?”

“On the phone, the day before you left for Chicago. You said you wanted to talk to me about something, but not over the phone.”

“Oh, that…” I smile. “I wanted to see if you were serious about me coming to stay with you in Virginia Beach – because I was ready to start following my dreams. And all my dreams had you in them, so I thought that was a good place to start.”

He lifts his upper body, resting on his elbow, looking down on me. “And now?”

“You never left my dreams, Grant. I just didn’t know who you were for a little while.”

He leans down, his lips against mine. So soft. So intimate. And exactly what I need. I need him – and want him. My hand slides to the back of his head. I can’t let him go. Not ever. I deepen the kiss, parting my lips, letting his tongue find mine.

It’s so good, so much better than I remember. So warm and wet and passionate. His hand runs up along my side, grazing my breast. I arch into him, needing him to touch me, grab me.

My other hand runs over his taut back muscles. I cup his ass, squeezing it. A low moan escapes him and he repositions his body, his leg moving between mine. His erection is pressed against my thigh, and all I can think is how badly I need him inside me. I spread my legs wide, making room for his hips.

He’s presses against me, his tip nudging against my clit.

“Grant, I want you. I need you.” It’s a desperate whispered plea that comes straight from my heart.

His eyes are dark, lusty, aroused. “Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t. Please, Grant…” I want to cry. I’ve never needed someone so much. Never needed validation of my feelings so badly that I’m sure my heart will break if he refuses me. I’m desperate for this connection with him. This intimacy – something that will affirm that time and distance did not sever the intense connection we shared the very first time we made love.

He shimmies out of his pajama pants and moves back between my legs. The tip of his erection slides down my wet slit before finding my opening. Slowly, he pushes into me. My body adjusts to him. The muscles in his arms and back strain. The euphoria that runs rampant through my body gives me a natural high that makes my head reel.

“Oh, baby, I missed you so much,” he says between kisses behind my ear that send tingles throughout my body. My nipples are hard, poking against his chest, adding another level of pleasure.

He’s deep inside me. As deep as he can go. And his tip is hitting a bundle of nerves that nearly spins me out of control. “Oh… don’t stop, Grant. It feels so good.”

His mouth is over mine, devouring me. His thrusts are harder, faster. One hand grips my ass, squeezing it. Leveraging his body, forcing himself as deep as he can go.

My hands are splayed across his back, my fingertips digging into him. My body is screaming for release, but I want to hold onto the motion and the friction between us – not ready to topple over into an orgasm and end this ecstasy.

My core muscles clench tightly, so hard Grant grunts, his hands grasping me tightly. My mind blanks, my muscles release, but my body continues to move against him, milking my orgasm for as long as possible.

Grant thrusts inside me, a few quick jabs before his body relaxes and he rests his weight on me. I wrap my arms around him, not willing to let him go.

Finally he lifts his head and gazes into my eyes. There’s so much emotion in them, so much wonderment and disbelief and I know I have that same look. It’s incredible, as incredible as it has ever been with us.

He kisses the tip of my nose and smiles. “I will never get tired of making love to you.”

“Never?”

He shakes his head. “Never.”

“That’s a really long time.” I run my fingers through his sweat soaked hair.

“Not nearly long enough.” He rolls off of me, pulling me along so that I’m nestled into his side. My head rests on his chest, and it feels so familiar, like no time has passed between us.

And I know there is no way I will ever let him go.

*

Grant

The beach is starting to fill up with people. It looks as if many of the wedding party and guests have taken over a large section. And much like last year, the last place I want to be is around all of them.

I want Jordyn to myself. Tomorrow we return to our lives, and a burning in my gut is slowly moving into my chest. There’s no way I’m going to be able to let her go again. Too much has happened over this last year, and I’m not sure I can handle something else coming between us.

I guide her toward a spot away from everyone, navigating around the blankets strewn across the beach. A hand wraps around my ankle, nearly sending me sprawling onto the sand. I yank my foot away hard, ready to kick whatever asshole thinks he’s being funny tripping me.

“Hey, fuck face. Where’re you two headed?” Beeper grins up at me, the smug son-of-a-bitch.

“Far away from you, maggot.”

Cindy shakes her head and rolls her eyes. Jordyn laughs softly beside me.

Beeper nods. “Have fun.” He gives a half-assed salute, and I tug on Jordyn’s hand. I love Beeper like a brother, and he did do his level best to get me to see that I was fucking away my future with Jordyn, but I don’t want to waste any time. If things go the way I hope they will, Beeper and Cindy will have plenty of time to fall in love with Jordyn as much as I have.

Because I have. Hook, line and sinker.

I stop and survey the area. No one close by. Perfect. I unfold the blanket and lay it on the sand.

“So, do you guys always talk like that to each other?” Jordyn’s head is resting between my shoulder blades, her hands snaking around my waist.

“Pretty much. Why?”

“Nothing. Just going to take some getting used to, I guess. Completely different world than the one I’m in. Of course, in my world any compliment is usually suspect, and means exactly the opposite of what’s being said.”

I spin around, taking her by surprise, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her in tight. “And which do you think you prefer? Your world? Or mine?”

I kiss her. Hard. The kind of kiss where she lets out a little sigh. That little sigh nearly drops me to my knees every single time she does it.

“Mmmm, most definitely yours.” Her lips flit across mine. That makes me smile. She makes me smile. It’s like no time has passed since the last time we were together. Except so much has happened.

I’m starting to come to terms with some things. I spent a good portion of the morning wondering why I never checked to see if something happened to her? Better yet, why hadn’t I even considered it?

But then Jordyn said something to me. “What happened, happened, and probably for a good reason. I know that even without my memories, with no indication of how my family had treated me in the past, no idea what kind of relationship I had with Jeremy – I knew I didn’t want that life anymore. Even before I remembered you, I knew I wanted out. To get away from them. And I was going to do it – even without you. So, stop beating yourself up about the past, Grant. Figure out what you learned from it.”

Turns out I learned a lot during the year we were apart. Some things happen that have nothing to do with me. Rachel didn’t reject me, but the life I had chosen. I wasn’t someone unworthy of love. She just wasn’t the right person for me or my life.

I plop down next to Jordyn on the blanket. It occurs to me that I have no idea how Jordyn feels about my career – the fact that I’ll be deployed, unreachable for long stretches of time. As much as I fear her answer, if I plan to spend a lifetime making Jordyn happy, I better figure out if it’s even a possibility.

“So, you know my job requires me to be gone for months at a time? And the tour could be extended? And there may be times that I’m unreachable, and if I do call, I may not be able to tell you where I am or what I’m doing?”

She stared at me for a minute and I hold my breath. “Well, I knew some of it. Now I know, though. Why? What’s with the full disclosure?”

I sigh. My gut twists a bit. “I just want to make sure you understand what getting into a relationship with me entails, baby. I want you to have all the info upfront so you won’t be surprised by it while I’m floating in the middle of the ocean, unable to talk to you about what’s going on.”

She scrunches up her face. “I’m not her, Grant. I’m not Rachel. I know there will be long stretches of time we’re apart. Having a relationship with you means accepting all of you – including the part that takes you away from me. Because it means so much more than that. What you do, serving this country, protecting everyone here – I’m so very proud of you. I’ll miss you like crazy every single second we’re apart, but it’s what makes you who you are – and I never want to change that.”

She slays me to the core. My heart nearly bursts through my ribs. It’s so full. And it’s all hers.

I lean in and kiss her, murmuring against her lips. “You’re incredible.”

“Yeah, I know.” I can feel her grin against my lips.

The sun finally sets, and the orchestra begins playing. We lay on the blanket, side-by-side, and watch the first fireworks light up the sky. I hadn’t wanted to come here, see Jordyn. But she’s the very reason I couldn’t stay away. I was so conflicted, standing on the beach as our friends exchanged vows. I wanted to hate her. Wished it was us pledging our lives to each other.