When Love Comes (21 page)

“But you couldn’t leave this time, or you’d go to jail.”

“Even without the threat of jail, I couldn’t have left.” His bleak look softened into a thin smile. “I fell in love with you so fast, I didn’t have time to run. I cursed myself, decided to settle for a few kisses, then spend the rest of my life reliving the times I held you in my arms.” His smile broadened. “Even when you seemed to enjoy being with me, I wouldn’t let myself believe you might fall in love with me. I told myself you were only being kind, or indulging in a mild flirtation.”

Amanda stiffened. “Do you think I allow men who flirt with me the same liberties I’ve allowed you?”

“I know you wouldn’t. That’s why I started to believe it just might be possible you did love me.”

She relaxed and leaned against him, her head on his shoulder. “When did you finally believe it?”

“I’m not sure.”

She raised her head so she could look at him. “But I thought—”

“I kept my distance, because I worried that loving you might not be the best thing I could do for you.”

He was afraid that their marriage would lead to unhappiness. She would not panic. He loved her, and he believed she loved him. More than that, he loved her so much he couldn’t leave even when he tried. He just needed more time to realize
that whatever his fears about their future, they could and would face them together. It wouldn’t always be easy, but they would succeed because they would be together.

“Loving me is, and always will be, the best thing you can do for me.” She slid her arms around his neck and pulled him into a kiss. She wouldn’t let him go until he believed that. He kissed her with so much passion she wondered how he could even think of leaving her.

It was the kind of kiss she spent her nights dreaming about. But she wanted much more. She’d dreamed of being held in his arms, of sleeping next to him, of making love to him. She’d dreamed of the sons and daughters they would have together, the times they would laugh together, the times they would sit quietly without words because none were needed. She’d never had dreams like that about Corby or any other man. Only Broc, and she had every intention of turning them into reality.

Breaking their kiss, she gently and firmly directed him to the side of her neck. He found that sensitive spot so quickly, she was caught off guard. The low moan that escaped her caused him to pause.

“Don’t stop.” She was begging, but she didn’t care. As long as he could find that one sensitive spot, the world could go away.

It was a disappointment when he shifted his attentions to her shoulders, but she wanted to explore his body, and she couldn’t think when he was concentrating on
the spot
. She’d always admired his physical appearance, but the brief times they’d had together hadn’t allowed for much more than being held in his arms. Now she wanted to run her hands along his arms from wrist to shoulder, over his back, and down his sides. She wanted to feel the power of his thighs against her, to cup the swell of his bottom in her hands, feel the heat of his desire through the fabric of her dress.

She’d never thought a woman could want a man in this way. But now she wondered how she’d gone so long in ignorance. Had she thought all the talk she’d heard from the other waitresses was just their imagination? Or wishful thinking? Had she assumed because she couldn’t experience it, they couldn’t, either? If so, the joke was on her, but it wasn’t a cruel joke. It was a wonderful, spectacular revelation.

It got even more spectacular when Broc moved his left hand to cover her breast. The tidal wave of sensation that rocked her body caused her breath to be locked in her lungs before escaping in a low moan. She didn’t know being with a man could feel like this. She wondered if it felt the same for Broc.

According to the other waitresses, men were obsessed with being with women. It was all they talked about, all they thought about, but Broc had never acted like that. It had been one of the things that attracted her to him. The waitresses also said men cared little for a woman’s feelings, only their own. She looked into Broc’s eyes, but he seemed focused on her reaction to his touch.

His touch was gentle yet firm, insistent without being forceful. It was as though he was asking permission to touch her, to please her, to take her on a sensual journey. She would never have considered accepting such an invitation from another man, but she couldn’t refuse when it came from Broc. She didn’t
want
to refuse.

When his right hand moved to cover her other breast, she found it harder to think. She didn’t really want to think, just allow the sensations that flowed from his touch to envelop her whole being. She was being swallowed up by a slowly growing lassitude coupled with a nervous energy that made her feel like she was going to jump out of her skin. She didn’t know how the two could exist at the same time, but it didn’t seem important to come up with an answer.

When he lowered her dress enough to free her breasts from her shift, it became impossible to think. She would never have suspected her breasts could be so sensitive, or that she would enjoy the touch of his rough skin on her tender flesh. She gasped in surprise when he gently brushed her nipples with his fingertips.

“Did I hurt you?”

“No.” How could she describe the most exquisite feeling she’d ever experienced? When Broc leaned down to take a firm nipple into his mouth, Amanda’s strength deserted her.

“I think I’d better lie down.”

“Are you all right?”

Broc looked so worried, Amanda struggled to summon the energy to tell him she was more than all right. She was wondrously, gloriously, fabulously perfect. She just hadn’t been prepared for such perfection. Unable to find the right words and fearful her weak smile was short of the assurance he needed, she nodded her head.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” One word and she was exhausted but not so wiped out she couldn’t place his hands back on her breasts. When he hesitated, she found the energy to pull him down until his lips touched the soft mounds. She arched her body against him, hoping he would suckle her nipples again.

He did.

She wondered if his body was as sensitive as hers, even decided to find out, but she couldn’t force her limbs to move. Broc’s attentions were draining the last bits of willpower and self-control from her as efficiently as a bee draws nectar from a blossom. When he took her nipple between his teeth and bit down with a gentle, insistent pressure, her last coherent thought snapped like a fragile twig. With a sigh, she surrendered unconditionally to the sensations that were overtaking her body.

She was in a daze, her body floating, buoyed by the currents flowing through her with ever-increasing speed, with
growing turbulence. Broc’s hands were everywhere, touching, caressing, kneading. She heard moan after moan and knew they came from her, though she didn’t recognize the sound as her own voice. She thrashed about in the bed, inviting his touch, reveling in what it did to her. She wanted him to touch her everywhere at once, to neglect no part of her body. She wanted it all, everywhere, now.

When she felt his fingers part her flesh and enter her body, she believed she finally did have it all.

She had no idea when he removed her dress or her shift. Somehow her shoes and stockings had disappeared as well. She lay naked before him, open to his touch, defenseless against her need for him. Yet it was more than that. She reveled in his touch. His rough hands on her. His seeking fingers inside her. His warm breath against her hot skin. Broc had transformed her body into a tactile battlefield where she was the winner in every encounter, where she eagerly awaited the next engagement, where she anticipated the escalation in intensity even when she wasn’t certain she could endure any more.

But there was more. There seemed to be no end to the things Broc could show her, the levels to which she could ascend, the need her body had for his touch. She was like a starving person who’d been denied food. Enough was not enough.

She wasn’t sure she could stand it if his loving went on much longer. She had no idea what Broc was doing to her body, but she felt like a spring being wound tighter and tighter until she was certain she would break and shatter into a million pieces. Yet she didn’t shatter. She exploded like a Chinese rocket.

“Broc!” The word was a cry of release rather than a name. Even as she began to descend from the heights, as the pieces of her shattered being began to coalesce, she wondered if it
could happen again. She wanted it to happen again. She needed it to happen again.

She panicked when Broc withdrew from her. She felt abandoned, forsaken. Cold. She collected her scattered thoughts just enough to focus her gaze on him as he undressed. Although she’d been around men her whole life, she’d never seen one completely naked. Her mother was obsessive about the rules of propriety that decreed a woman should know nothing about the male body before marriage. And she made sure Amanda knew a proper young woman wasn’t supposed to find it attractive.

Once again she failed to measure up to her mother’s standards, because she liked what she saw very much. She’d always admired Broc’s broad shoulders and strong arms. They felt wonderful when she was wrapped in their embrace. She’d had trouble admitting to herself that she liked the look of his backside as well as his powerful thighs, but that was a secret she enjoyed privately. It felt all the more thrilling because it was forbidden. Just thinking about his butt could cause shivers to race up and down her spine.

Now she had something new to add to her collection of images. Propriety strictly forbade a woman to have any interest in the swell of a man’s pants, but what she saw now wouldn’t fit inside any pair of pants she’d ever seen. How could that possibly fit inside her?

“I won’t do anything to hurt you,” Broc said. “If something makes you uncomfortable, let me know and I’ll stop.”

As he joined her on the bed, moved above her, she could only wait. She felt his fingers enter her again. In seconds she felt the familiar sensations start to build and spread. Her muscles relaxed as her apprehension eased, and her body sank back into the bed. Then she felt something large and warm press against her.

“This will feel even better than my hand.”

There was no pain. No real discomfort, but she felt herself being stretched until she was certain she could stretch no more. He backed away and the tension eased. Yet a moment later he drove so deeply inside her, she gasped in surprise.

“That’s it,” Broc said in a strangled voice. “Now it’s only pleasure.”

He moved inside her with slow, even strokes. The feeling of fullness that was uppermost at first began to fade as her body gradually moved into sync with Broc’s. Before she knew it, it was no longer her body joined with his. They were one, each sharing the other’s pleasure, each contributing to the other’s excitement.

Then it happened all over again. Amanda started to lose contact with the world around her, even with her own body. She became a swirling collection of sensations that built upon each other until she felt she was being held together by a mere thread. Broc started to move faster, each stroke going deep before almost withdrawing, then plunging in again. Her jaw went slack, and her mouth fell open. She could feel a scream beginning to build inside her, but she felt incapable of uttering any sound.

She was vaguely aware that Broc’s breathing had become more labored, that his body was becoming rigid, that his strokes were starting to be uneven. She wanted to ask if anything was wrong, but she couldn’t. She was approaching the edge. She could feel the scream pushing its way from deep inside her, getting closer and closer every second. Then with only the barest of warnings, it burst from her throat to be swallowed by Broc’s kiss.

Broc didn’t know whether to berate himself for letting his emotions get control of him, or simply to let himself enjoy
being in love and being loved. It would be so easy to do that, but he would be ignoring his responsibility to protect Amanda from all harm.

Despite his misgivings, it was impossible to deny the pervading sense of contentment, the nearly giddy feeling of happiness he got just from watching her sleep. A woman loved him. The woman he
loved
loved him in return. She was a beautiful, talented, wonderful woman who could have married virtually any man she wanted, yet she’d chosen him. There were a hundred reasons why he should be castigating himself for allowing this to happen, but he would have time enough for that tomorrow. Right now he wanted to be selfish, to think only of himself, of his happiness.

She loves me.

That thought kept running through his brain like an endless refrain. Saying it over and over again didn’t make it any less incredible. Why would this woman want to love him? What was there about him that could attract her interest, hold it, and turn it into something as wonderful as love? He didn’t know a whole lot about ranching. She certainly wasn’t going to let her head be turned by his music or his playacting. She was too intelligent for that, yet something had caused her to fall in love.

There was no point in torturing himself. She loved him, and he loved her. He didn’t have to understand it. He just had to accept it. He lowered himself back down to the mattress very carefully so he wouldn’t wake her. He needed to sleep. They would go back to Cactus Bend tomorrow. He needed to focus all his energy on figuring out how to prove Corby Wilson was responsible for the debt to Mrs. Sibley. Once he had done that, he would have time to consider whether Amanda’s future would be better with or without him.

If he failed, he’d be facing the same question from jail, a position that wasn’t likely to provide a favorable answer.

“What the hell do you mean the bull is gone?” Amanda wasn’t in the habit of swearing, but she was so shocked, so exasperated, so furious, the word just burst from her. “If you let it out again, I’ll beat you to a pulp.” She and Broc had arrived at the Lazy T midmorning to discover all hell had broken loose.

“You can’t do that.” Gary was belligerent, but he was also scared.

“I’ll do it,” Eddie said.

“And I’ll help you,” Leo said.

“He’ll have help from a lot of quarters,” Broc said.

“I didn’t let the bull out, okay?” Gary said.

“How can I believe you?” Amanda asked.

Gary dropped his head. “I was in town trying to talk Corby into giving me back my job.”

“You should have been here.”

“I hate this ranch,” Gary shouted. “I hate every minute I have to spend here.”

After the number of times he’d let the bull out before and lied about it, Amanda wasn’t sure she could believe Gary this time. The animal couldn’t have gotten out on its own. “If you didn’t let it out, then someone stole it.”

“Who would be that stupid?” Leo asked. “Everybody in three counties knows that bull.”

“Did you check the fence?” Amanda asked.

“Every foot,” Leo said. “He didn’t break through the fence.”

“Then someone let him out.” Broc’s accusing glare settled on Gary.

“Who would do that besides Carruthers?” Amanda asked.

“Sandoval,” Leo suggested.

“He wants the ranch as badly as Carruthers,” Amanda said, “but I heard that after seeing our calves, he decided to buy his own bull.”

“It would be cheaper to take yours,” Leo pointed out.

“Could Corby Wilson be responsible?” her mother asked.

The news that Corby was responsible for the debt had hit the ground like a bombshell. Gary didn’t believe it. After having encouraged Amanda to marry Corby, her mother was too shocked to say anything. Eddie had devoted his energies to thinking up new and hideous ways to torture Corby. Leo offered to maim Corby if he didn’t come up with the money.

“I can’t see any reason for Corby to let the bull out,” Broc said. “He doesn’t know we’ve figured out he’s responsible for the debt. Besides, getting rid of the bull wouldn’t cancel the money owed.”

The sound of horses approaching the house drew Amanda’s attention. She looked out a nearby window. She didn’t know the two riders well, but they had a reputation for being shiftless, willing to bend rules, and not above looking for ways to get around the law. “I’ll go see what they want,” she said. “You keep trying to figure out what to do about the bull.”

As Amanda watched the two men dismount, hitch their horses, and climb the steps to the porch, she unconsciously compared them to Broc. They fell so far short it was pathetic. One was so thin he was shapeless. The other thought more about food and beer than he did his personal appearance.

“Howdy,” the thin one said. “It’s a little warm for this time of year.”

“It’s been a long while since I saw you at the saloon, Bryce,” Amanda said. “What are you doing out here?”

“We’ve been out of town,” Purdy said. “Just got back yesterday.”

“What caused you to ride this far out of town?”

“We got some information on a fella folks say has been hanging around your place,” Bryce said.

The two men worked for the Reconstruction government. Its only purpose seemed to be to give unprincipled
scoundrels the means to pry money out of honest people any way they could. When it couldn’t do that, it threatened to cause trouble with the police or the army. The reputation of both forces was so notorious Texans would do virtually anything to avoid being the focus of their attention.

“There are no men
hanging around our place
,” Amanda stated impatiently. “This is a ranch. Everyone here works.”

“It doesn’t matter what he does,” Purdy said. “We have reason to arrest him.”

“Who are you talking about?” She couldn’t imagine they meant Leo or Andy. Dan had worked for Carruthers until recently, and Broc had never been in Cactus Bend before.

“We have information a man named Broc Kincaid has been working to reestablish a Confederate government in Texas.”

That was such an absurd accusation, Amanda couldn’t stop herself from laughing. “No one in his right mind would try anything like that.”

“The information came from a reliable source, a spy for the Union during the war.”

“Broc has been in California. He couldn’t possibly have had anything to do with such a stupid plot. Besides, the war has been over four years.”

“Some people can’t seem to accept that.”

Bryce cast his partner an uneasy glance. “We’re only here to see this Kincaid fella and ask him some questions.”

“Purdy said you were going to arrest him.” Amanda didn’t trust either of them.

“We got to ask him some questions first,” Bryce said. “What we do depends on what he says.”

“But we’ll probably arrest him,” Purdy said. “We can’t have nobody plotting against the government.”

“
Reconstruction
government,” Amanda reminded him.

“It’s the government of Texas,” Purdy insisted.

“It’s a gang of thieves sent to rob and plunder.”

“Careful,” Purdy said, his weasel-like smile back in place. “A person who didn’t know you might consider that treason.”

“Only a member of the Reconstruction government.”

“You got to let us come in,” Bryce said. “If you don’t, we’ll have to send for the army.”

“What’s going on?” a stern voice demanded.

Amanda turned to see that Broc and her mother had come out onto the porch. “These men say they have to talk to Broc about plotting against the Reconstruction government.”

“That’s absurd,” Broc said. “I haven’t been in Texas. And if I had been, I wouldn’t have done anything that stupid.”

“We have information from a reputable source,” Purdy said.