When Fangirls Lie (19 page)

“No, of course not!”

The quickness and sincerity of the reply impressed him. He said quietly, “You seem like a nice girl so I’ll tell you a secret.”

She nodded, wide-eyed.

“Everyone knows that Staffan had it pretty rough when he broke up with Chloe. It changed him, made him unwilling to trust any woman again.” He paused. “He’d do everything not to be in a position of being in danger of being hurt again---even if it meant hurting people he doesn’t want to hurt. Even if it means hurting himself in the process as well.”

Saffi’s heart started to beat fast as she took in what Constantijin had said. “Why are you telling me this?”

He smiled.

Oh wow. The smile was so blindingly beautiful it left her blinking. Now she saw why millions of women went gaga over him.

“I just like tormenting him and
you
look like you can be a thorn in his side.”

~~~

“There you are,” Bob said a few minutes after Constantijin Kastein had left. She stood in the middle of the bonsai garden, which was part of the on-site attractions of the concert venue, contemplating Constantijin’s words.

“I was looking for you for a long time, you know.” Bob sounded extremely rueful as he stopped a few feet from her. That was also the second time someone had told her that. “We were worried about you.”

She didn’t know what to make of that. “You make it sound like everyone’s looking for me.”

“They are.”

She gaped at him. “B-but why?”

Bob looked pained. “What did you expect, H? That the boss wouldn’t care when you left the place in tears?”

Saffi admitted in a small voice, “I didn’t think he’d notice.”

“He did.”

She drew a shaky breath in. “Why didn’t he come after me?”

Bob avoided her gaze. “The advertisers he’s supposed to meet came right after Ms. Yanna so he had to take care of them first.”

It was an alibi of course - a very lame one - and both of them knew it. Staffan Aehrenthal was a law unto himself, and he definitely was the type to have advertisers waiting if there was something else he prioritized over meeting with them.

But he didn’t, which was why Bob was here and Staffan wasn’t.

She did her best to push the thought away and used Constantijin’s words as a source of comfort. This was Staffan pushing her away. It was supposed to be a good thing.

“I understand.” Saffi forced a smile, more for Bob’s sake, who was trapped between a rock and a hard place. And that would be what? Staffan’s inability to love and her very obvious infatuation?

Bob said awkwardly, “He’s left explicit instructions that you join him the moment anyone found you.” He looked at her steadily. “Do you want to? I won’t force you to go if you don’t feel like it.”

Saffi squared her shoulders. “I’ll go.”

She thought about Constantijin’s words again as she followed Bob out of the bonsai garden. He wanted to push her away, and ironically Saffi knew that his desire to do so also proved that he saw her more than just an ordinary G. Perhaps – more than any other girl in his life, enough to fall in love with her?

Chains of doubt wrapped around her heart, tightening painfully. This weekend was supposed to be fun. It was supposed to be her one last fling before embracing fully whatever life and duty brought her. But it hadn’t become just a fun weekend. It had become a lot more than that. Staffan was no longer just the gorgeous rockstar with the divine taste in clothes that she had looked up to for so many years, the one whose lyrics reached out to her and healed her all the times she felt alone and misunderstood.

Now, Staffan was…

More.

She needed to take a chance on Staffan, needed to show him that things between them could be way better than how things were between him and Chloe. But first she needed a sign. If he showed that he cared for her, even if it was just a little bit more than what he typically felt for Gs, Saffi decided she would take it as a sign. If Staffan treated her like she was different from the rest then she would fight for him.

~~~

Relief hit Staffan like a tidal wave when the door opened and Bob came in, followed by a quiet-looking Saffi. There was no other or better word, and it troubled him, making him clench his fists at his sides in an effort to keep him from walking to her and taking Saffi to his arms. He had to be strong about this. He was doing what was right for both of them.

Staffan expected Saffi to sit at the back, with the rest of his management team, while he continued the negotiations with Yanna and Constantijin next to him while the advertising representatives sat opposite him, one who was gay and the other a female shark. But what she did instead was take a seat next to him, gracefully pulling the chair back and sliding onto it like a princess. For some reason, it made Staffan fucking proud of her, and it was all he could do
not
to take her lips with a kiss. But he didn’t. It would create a different impression than what he had in mind for Saffi, an impression that she had already challenged by sitting next to him.

The advertising representatives had stopped talking when Saffi positioned herself next to him. Consternation flashed on their faces when Staffan didn’t make any explanation and instead curled a casually possessive arm around her waist. Saffi knew it wasn’t exactly a show of support, but she’d take it.

“Garth Greene,” the guy opposite them said immediately with an easy smile, offering his hand.

Saffi took it with a grateful smile. “I’m…H.”

Staffan tried not to roll his eyes.

When Saffi glanced at the woman seated next to Garth, she got a dismissive head-to-toe look. “Sadie,” the other woman said reluctantly, as if the seconds she spent talking to Saffi was a huge waste of her time. She turned to Staffan immediately, and her face changed with it, a flirtatious smile on her lips as she said, “If I may continue?”

Saffi blurted out, “Could you repeat what you’ve discussed so far?” The way all eyes swung to her incredulously made Saffi want to shrink back, but she didn’t back down. To give herself a boost of confidence – however fake –she popped another piece of gum into her mouth even though she was already chewing on one.

Sadie gaped. “Excuse me?”

“I’m his number one fan,” Saffi said lamely as she wrung her hands on her lap until her knuckles went white. “I may have a lot to contribute to this project.”

“Oh, really?” Derision underlined Sadie’s words. “I think you flatter yourself by thinking in those terms.” And the way she looked at Saffi made no secret of what she believed Saffi was, especially as her gaze lingered on the expansive amount of skin that her dress exposed.

Saffi did her best not to flush at the pointed barb, but she was even more determined not to back down. Staffan was going to date another woman. Worse, Staffan had a reputation of dating anyone he “hand selected”. Saffi had to have a say about it, selfish or not, right or not.

As she opened her mouth to argue some more, she heard Staffan say, “Start again, Garth.”

Sadie’s indignant gasp pierced the silence that followed but other than that no one else reacted. Even Sadie didn’t say anything else after that, her lips tightening as she nodded to her partner, clearly too furious to speak.

Garth immediately stepped in, professional smile in place. In a voice that didn’t betray any of his thoughts or feelings, he concisely explained what his company wanted from Staffan.

“After you make your choice, we’d like you to enjoy just a short break – maybe coffee or dessert – with all five of them.”

Saffi swallowed back a protest. Staffan, surrounded with
five
supposedly beautiful women and all of them happened to adore him? The thought of it was enough for her stomach to heave in jealousy.

Staffan nodded, encouraging Garth to continue. Beside him, Saffi was now seated very correctly, her tension palpable. If it was the other way around, he knew he would not have been able to take it. In fact, the mere prospect of Saffi being with another man was despicable, and Staffan knew he’d kill any man who dared touch Saffi in any way.

But he had to do this. It was better for both of them this way.

“After the meet and greet, you will then walk the winner around the venue, just give her a really simple tour to explain the behind-the-scene process for concert productions.”

Her back straightened, her mind tortured by images of something nasty happening behind the scenes.

Garth cleared his throat. “We would like a photo of you and the winner extremely close in this one.”

Staffan started to speak, but Saffi was already shaking her head. “That’s not good.”

“And then perhaps backstage, literally behind the curtains, a kiss on the cheek---”

“But what if the winner gets carried away and rapes Staffan?” Saffi cried out, distress finally winning over common sense.

Staffan choked. Behind him, he heard Constantijin and Yanna not doing that good a job at smothering their laughter.

“I’ll, err, make sure he won’t be harmed,” Garth said, visibly bemused at the turn the conversation had taken. He glanced at Staffan almost pleadingly. “Shall I continue?”

Staffan nodded.

Clearing his throat once more, Garth went on, “And after one of your numbers, maybe another photo to show that the winner’s caring for you some way, like wiping the sweat off your face or giving you a bottle of water to drink---”

Saffi didn’t even hesitate. “Sorry, that’s my job. I’m the official water girl and, umm, sweat-wiper of Staffan Aehrenthal. It says so in my resume.” Behind her, Saffi could hear Constantijin and his lovely girlfriend coughing again, which she supposed was their best attempt at hiding their laughter.

Staffan’s head lowered slightly. He couldn’t help it. He needed to hide the fact that his eyes were gleaming with laughter.
Ah, Saffi. What am I going to do with you
? This was supposed to be a serious attempt to introduce Saffi to the role he wanted her to play in his life, one that was completely dictated by his terms. But somehow she had ended turning it into a farce that literally tempted him to laugh out loud the whole time.

Not looking at Saffi’s way, Garth said quickly, as if simply wanting to get his presentation over with, “And lastly, we’d like you to pick her from the audience and dance with her---”

“NO!” Saffi found herself on her feet as her heart jumped to her throat. Did this man know what he was suggesting – and in her presence no less? “Over my dead body!”

Sadie jumped to her feet as well, surprising everyone. “Why the hell do you keep butting in when this isn’t about you? You’re just his
whore
!”

Staffan jerked, the silence only broken by Yanna’s gasp of dismay.

Everything in him wanted to lash out at the other woman for daring to call Saffi that, but he forced himself to remain unmoving, his face unreadable as he waited for what would Saffi say. He needed to see how this would play out, needed to know how Saffi saw herself in his life.

Yanna couldn’t believe that Staffan was letting it go just like that. She turned to Constantijin in confusion, hurting for Saffi, but he shook his head at her, his handsome face grim.

Saffi waited for another moment, willing Staffan to do anything – say anything just to let her know that he didn’t think like that, too. But he didn’t say a word and he didn’t even glance her way.

This was Staffan pushing her away, she reminded herself. It was a good thing. A GOOD THING. She repeated the words over and over in her mind until she got herself backing in control. Forcing herself to meet the other woman’s gaze, Saffi said softly, “I can’t be his whore when everything I give to him, I give freely.”