When Fangirls Cry (3 page)

            He smiled back. “So,
koukla mou,
another lie?”

           
Diabolical dottyback.

           
“Err---”

            “Was sick Aunt Brittany’s dying wish to watch Celsius and wear a shirt that could pass as underwear?” He suddenly looked like he wanted to strangle her. “Did you
fucking
forget one of your beloved fangirls almost got away with throwing acid on your face? Did you
fucking
forget that the last time you held a mini fan convention, those
fucking
Celsius fans went on attack like rabid dogs and almost beat you up? Did you FUCKING forget any of those?”

            Her normally agile mind failed to come up with an answer that would appease Staffan’s temper. “Umm, I fucking didn’t?” She whispered the words, hoping to make Staffan smile.

            A muscle started ticking near Staffan’s tightly clenched jaw.

            Constantijin and Rathe were coughing.

            She said in a weaker voice, “Super oh-my-god I-can’t-believe-I-lied I’m sorry?”

            This time, the two weren’t able to hold their laughter back. Staffan looked murderous, but before he could speak, the limousine had slowed down.

            “Good night, Saffi,” Rathe said just as his chauffeur opened the door.

            Constantijin murmured something laughingly but Saffi wasn’t been able to catch it because Staffan had already lifted her out of the limousine.

            “Wh-why did we get out?” Saffi did her best to catch her breath
and
catch up with Staffan.

            “I have my car parked around the other block.”

            “Oh. So we’re not going out with them for din---aah!”

            Staffan suddenly pulled her into a dark alley, dragging her further into the shadows. And then she was facing the brick wall, Staffan behind her, his hot breath fanning her ear.

            “A fucking
Celsius
concert, Saffi?” he growled.

            She shivered, borne of desire rather than fear.

            “You lied to me to go to their concert?”

            She flushed. “I’m sorry---”

            “You think they’re hotter now?”

            “No!”

            Staffan’s hands crept under her miniscule shirt, cupping her breasts as Saffi moaned. Licking her ear to make Saffi whimper, Staffan purred, “Did you want to make your dreams about being their groupie come true?”

            “
No
.” She sobbed the word out, her entire body tensing as Staffan pushed her bra out of the way with one hand while the other went inside her shorts, past her panties, and right into her, his fingers sliding into her already throbbing sex.

            “I don’t fucking believe you.”

            “I
promise
!” Saffi couldn’t help pushing her sex against his fingers, wanting more of his touch. Her breasts jiggled, and Staffan squeezed hard in response.

            He took a step towards Saffi, pressing her completely against the wall. He pulled his fingers out and she shook her head in protest. “Make me believe you, Saffi. Tell me what you want. Everything – your secret desires, your fantasies. Tell me how much you want me.”

            She tried to turn her head, but he didn’t let her. Sobbing, she whispered, “I want you.” She tried to grab his hand, but instead Staffan captured both her hands and locked them behind her back. Saffi moaned. “Staffan, please!”

           
“Tell me,” he gritted.

            She could hear him freeing himself, and just the sound of it was enough to have her sob, “I want you! I want your dick inside me! I want you fucking me hard now! I love you fucking----“

            It happened so fast, Staffan pushing her shorts down, ripping her panties off, and then he was inside her.

            She started to
moan, but Staffan’s hand clamped over her mouth. “Someone’s coming.” Staffan hissed the words in warning even as he was pulling out and then driving his throbbing dick back inside her.

            The footsteps became audible, and her body stiffened.

            Staffan thrust harder.

            Saffi moaned into his hand, shaking with each thrust. Just a short distance away, a group of teenagers came to a stop within the circle of light under a street lamp.

            “Anybody want one?” One of the boys held out a box of cigarettes.

            As the boy passed the box to his friends, Staffan pinched Saffi’s nipple, exerting enough pressure to make Saffi release a mindless scream. Anticipating her response, Staffan had already turned her head to face him, and he caught the scream with a kiss.

           
Staffan.
She wanted to moan his name out loud, needed Staffan to hear how much
she
needed him, wanted him, and loved him.

            Staffan lifted his head. He released her breast, his hands drifting down before his fingers tightened around her hips.

            “Lighter?” a girl asked.

            Staffan suddenly lifted Saffi’s hips, which made her feel like she was floating---

           
Aaah.
Staffan’s thrust drove deeper into Saffi in this new position. As Staffan pumped into her harder and faster without making one damn sound, Saffi clawed helplessly at the wall, feeling like her whole world hung on the balance of Staffan’s cock.

            Oh God, he was killing her with so much pleasure.

            A few feet away, the teenagers were joking around, still standing there, an unknowing audience to Staffan completely taking over Saffi’s body. In, out, punishing her ever so sweetly with his unceasing thrusts---

            “How do you feel,” Staffan whispered roughly into her ear, making Saffi shiver, “about coming while they’re within earshot?”

            She shook her head desperately even though her body trembled with excitement at the thought.

            His low chuckle only heightened her desire. “Don’t lie, baby. I want to give you everything you want.” He pulled his cock out, withdrawing completely, leaving Saffi aching so badly she started to cry, tears running silently down her cheeks.

            She needed his cock.

            And he knew it.

            “Tell me you want it.” His words played over her body, making her breasts throb, her belly cramp, and her sex quiver.

            “Tell me, Saffi.”

            Her words came out a strangled whisper. “Make me come. Make them hear me---” Staffan took in her silent scream as he thrust his cock inside her, his dick ramming into her again and again. There was no respite, no chance to breathe. All she could do was feel, letting Staffan absorb her moans and gasps because she just couldn’t think anymore.

            Harder, harder, his thrusts hammering into her until she was shaking so badly she was limp against the wall.

            Aaaaah!

            Saffi’s nails scraped the bricks as Staffan’s fingers found her clit, pulling at it so hard there was no way for her to avoid falling into a sensual abyss. Her orgasm was cataclysmic, so dazzlingly beautiful that it left Saffi dazed and openmouthed.

            Staffan…Staffan…Staffan…

            It was all she could think of.

            Behind her, Staffan tensed, and then he was biting her shoulder hard, his cock pumping his seed into her, a furious rush of hot sticky cum that she wanted to taste because it was
his
.

            The teenagers walked away.

            They stayed there, breathing roughly.

            Staffan twisted her around. They faced each other, her back resting against the wall as she raised her bare legs and locked them around his waist, his cock sliding into her as their bodies came into contact once again.

            Her head fell against the wall at the penetration, and she squeezed her eyes shut because the sensation was just too much.

            Staffan’s head dipped, and he sucked on her nipple leisurely, sweetly.

            Her hands found his hair, luxuriating in its softness. “Staffan,” she whispered.

            He raised his head. “I know, baby.” His fuck-me eyes burned so brightly it made Saffi catch her breath.

            Staffan cupped her breast possessively. “Mine, Saffi, all mine.” He pushed hard against her, and his semi-hard cock pushed into her just as deeply, possessing her as well. “Like I’m all yours.”

            His words stayed with Saffi throughout the night as she and Staffan went home to his pad, where they had spent the last two weekends.

            Staffan stirred beside Saffi, pulling her towards him possessively. She obediently moved closer, loving the weight of his leg over hers, his cock nestled against her bottom. “What are you thinking about?” he murmured sleepily.

            “Nothing,” she whispered, moving her head up so he could slide his arm underneath. She settled back against the pillow of his arms, and it felt like she was home.

            “Hopefully, not another lie.” Staffan was only half-joking.

            She nodded.

            He sighed even as his lips pressed against the back of her head. “Why don’t I believe you?”

            Saffi closed her eyes. “I have no idea.”

            She felt Staffan smile behind her. “Another lie,” he told her. “When will they be over, baby?”

            Her stomach cramped, the answer to his question something that Saffi herself did not want to face.

Never.

            As Staffan’s breathing eased, her phone beeped. Making sure that only her hand moved so as not to disturb Staffan in his sleep, Saffi checked her phone.

            It was Steel.

           
We need to talk.

           
Her phone beeped again.

            It was Jeremy.

           
We must talk.

           
She deleted their messages.

            Just another day, she thought to herself. Just another day to make Staffan love her more.

Miss you, baby.

Twitter: Crazy_4StarryEyed

            Performance at this year’s VMA –
check.

            “We fucking rocked it!” Staffan’s head choreographer yelled, and the entire crew cheered, Staffan clapping along with the rest of them. He missed Saffi like crazy, but at this moment, the emptiness felt a little less bad. He and his crew had worked their butts off to get ready for tonight, and it had paid off, if the continuing screams from outside were any indication.

           
Beep, beep, beep.

            A cacophony of sounds resonated in the room, their phones ringing at the same time, including Staffan’s. He smiled, knowing it was Saffi, probably sending them a congratulatory message. He checked his phone, and it
was
Saffi, sending them a video link titled ‘Congratulations’.

            In seconds, screams, curses, and the sound of phones crashing to the ground filled the room.

            “WHAT. THE. FUUUUUUCK?”

            “OH MY GOOOOD!”

            Staffan speed-dialed Saffi with fingers shaking from shock rather than fury, even though he would
never
admit to it.

            Saffi answered right away, her soft giggles a sound that would normally have him smiling. Now it just made him grit his teeth, snarling, “What the fuck, Saffi?”

            Saffi’s giggles turned into peals of laughter. “Did you guys like it? Congratulations! You were all awesome!” She had sent Staffan and the entire crew a link to a video, one that started with a cute scene of children bowing as if in gratitude, which then quickly segued into a terrifying in-your-face look of the witch from The Conjuring, followed by a dimly shot view of Annabelle – the
real
haunted doll, sitting on a blue-silver seat, one that looked distinctly like the ones in Staffan’s own private jet.

LET’S PLAY HIDE AND CLAP.

            Saffi was still laughing.

            Staffan switched the phone to loudspeaker. “Saffi,” he drawled in a clear ringing voice, making the room fall silent, “---wants to know what you guys think of the video.”

            Saffi shut up.

            There was a moment of silence before the entire crew exploded.

            “You really had to make us see that! After forcing us all to watch The Conjuring with you---”

            “And you had the boss rent out that entire cinema, so we had rows and rows of empty seats behind us---“

            “I couldn’t pee on my own for fuck’s sake---”

            He switched the loudspeaker off while his crew continued to rage. “Want to hear what else they have to say,
koukla mou
?” Staffan asked silkily.

            “It was just a joke,” Saffi said weakly.

            Static noise answered her. She heard a door closing in the background before Staffan’s voice came through the line, low and velvety. “Now I can hear your beautiful voice clearly.”

            Saffi blushed. “
Staffan
.”

            He chuckled. “How’s your family?”

            “They’re…the usual.”

            “Sure you don’t want me to join you after I wrap things up here?” With him away for the weekend, Saffi had told him it would be a good time to join her family in the Hamptons. Staffan knew now that she was the youngest child and only daughter of Senator Samuel March as well as being the much-loved sister of Steel March, whom his own stepfather did business with. The knowledge had unsettled him a bit, making Staffan feel like Saffi was someone he didn’t deserve. It didn’t matter that he was a famous rock star or that he had a billionaire for a stepfather. Saffi had been born with a silver spoon in her mouth. Staffan had come from the streets, and there would be no changing that.

            Staffan frowned when Saffi didn’t reply. Unused to Saffi’s reticence, he demanded, “Tell me what’s wrong, baby.”

            “Nothing---” But her voice caught at the end.

            “Saffi, no more fucking lies, remember? Tell me what’s wrong so I can do something about it.”

            “I just…miss you.”

            He closed his eyes, his chest easing with relief at the words. He pictured Saffi lying on what was probably a four-poster bed, surrounded by all things pink and lacy. No doubt her childhood bedroom would be everything sweet and girlish, just like Saffi was.

The image made his heart constrict. That innocent girl in his mind was now his, and no fucking way would he ever let go of her again. Staffan said gruffly, “I fucking miss you, too,
koukla mou
.”

            She giggled, but it was a shaky sound. “Do you have to add
fuck
to everything you say?”

            “Fuck yes.”

            Her giggle sounded genuine this time, and she said teasingly, “I just don’t fuh-uh-ucking get it.”

            The way Saffi stumbled all over the word made him laugh, but it also made Staffan wish he was back at his apartment, with a naked Saffi in his bed. “Why the fuck does everything you do or say make me so goddamn horny?” he demanded, but he was only half-joking.

“Don’t ever ask that again,” Saffi pleaded. “I don’t want you figuring out how
not
to want me.”

“See? That just made me even hornier.”

“Staffan!”

He grinned. “Fucking love you, baby.”

            Moisture gathered in Saffi’s eyes. Even after spending almost every night with Staffan this past month, she still couldn’t get used to hearing Staffan say he loved her. It made her want to pinch herself to make sure she wasn’t dreaming.

            Staffan Aehrenthal, the rock star she adored from afar all these years? The guy she personally dubbed Mr. Rock Star Chic, not knowing the nickname would stick – the man women all over the world literally worshipped as a sex god…how could this man be hers?

She started to tell Staffan she loved him too, but someone was calling Staffan’s name. She heard Staffan answer, his voice muffled, as if he was covering the mouthpiece of his phone.

            When he got back, Saffi said brightly, “I know. I get it. You need to go.”

            “Of course not---”

            “Staffan, I’m a fangirl, remember? I need only three guesses to figure out exactly who’s talking to you and why you’re needed. First, it could be a backstage interview request. Second, it could be---”

            “My know-it-all baby.” The smirk in Staffan’s voice was absolutely sexy.

            Saffi couldn’t help making a face at his words even though Staffan couldn’t see her. “That’s soooo funny, har-har.”

            “You love me, Saffi,” he said easily. “So of course you find it funny.”

            Her mouth opened and closed several times. She could not figure out how to answer that.

            Staffan suppressed a smile even as he nodded at the guy who was begging him silently to follow him for the backstage interview. Saffi had guessed correctly. “Saffi?”

            He got garbled noise, like Saffi was trying to speak but was unable to.

            This time, he couldn’t help smirking. “Yeah, I get it. You really love me---”

            More garbled noise.

            He chuckled. “Fuck you later.”

            Saffi stared at her phone as Staffan ended the call.
Fuck you later?

           
Annoyingly adorable aholehole!

            Her phone buzzed with a message from Staffan.

      Call you back in thirty minutes. Don’t go to sleep – I want to make you come before you do.

            Her lips trembled. She didn’t know if she wanted to cry or smile at his message. It was so…Staffan. And then she tasted something salty, and she knew the tears had won the battle. Hurriedly wiping the tears away, Saffi pinched her cheeks to bring back some color into her suddenly pale face. She checked herself in the mirror where her reflection stared wanly back at her.

           
Damn.
She needed to apply more makeup. Steel was going to whisk her to the E.R. if he saw her like this. Her hand shook as she applied lipstick. She needed to look cheerful and healthy, the way a well-loved girlfriend should. The way an
expectant
mother should.

            The lipstick fell from her hand at the last thought.

           
Fuck you later.
His words played in Saffi’s mind over and over. 

            Someone knocked on her bathroom door. “Saffi?” Jeremy’s quiet voice was lined with concern.

            Without planning to, Saffi fell to her knees, sobbing. She was sure most people would tell her it was just pregnancy hormones. But it was
not
that. It was because she was scared. She was so
terrified,
her heart ached with fear.

            “I’m forcing the door open if you don’t come out in three seconds, Saffi.” Steel spoke the words matter-of-factly, and Saffi knew her oldest brother meant it. He always meant what he said. She wished she could be like him.

            She wished she
had
been like him from the very start.

            Three seconds passed, and Steel kicked the door open. Staffan was going to wonder about that, she thought absently as Steel knelt down next to her with a curse. Staffan thought she was with her family, but she wasn’t. She
couldn’t
be with them, didn’t dare go home until she was sure of what to say or do if, as Staffan would so aptly put it, the shit hit the fucking fan.

            A hysterical choking laugh escaped Saffi at the thought.

Saffi’s brother carefully drew her in his arms. “Saffi.” Steel’s voice was bleak.

            “I’m scared,” she whispered. “What if Dad loses the election again because of me, like he did the last time? What if Staffan doesn’t believe me when I tell him the baby’s his?”

            “You have to tell him the truth, Saffi. I can kill this story for now – but I can’t do it indefinitely. It will go out sooner or later.”

            “We just got back together again. He loves me…I know he does, but what if he’s not ready for a baby? He’s at the peak of his career---”

            “If he loves you as you say he does, then his career will not be more important than your unborn child.” Jeremy’s cold voice was accented, betraying the exotic lineage he had tried his very best to bury for so many years.

            Saffi clutched Steel’s arm, her nails digging unconsciously into his skin. “Please, Steel. Please kill the story – kill every story until I can make myself tell him.
Please
.”

            Pulling his sister closer, hating the frailness of her body, Steel pressed a kiss on her forehead. “You don’t even have to ask, baby. I’ll do everything in my power to protect you.”

            But she didn’t seem to hear him. Saffi was crying too hard, her body shaking at the strength of her silent sobs. “Please,” she begged over and over. “I don’t want to lose him. Please. He’s everything to me.
Everything
. I can’t lose him again.”