When Fall Fades (The Girl Next Door Series Book 1) (32 page)

“Agent Hayes is here?” How could he be in the building and not have at least come to check on her? She knew that she’d thrown a curveball at the fund-raiser, but had it really changed that much?

After her last attack he’d practically thrown himself from his moving car and held her in front of a half-dozen cops. This time, he
requests
to see her in his office?

She didn’t know what to expect, but suddenly she felt a new kind of wall erect in her chest. She might be in rough shape, but she’d survived. Saved herself. Fought for her virtue and won. She was freaking brave, dang it! Even tougher than that twelve-year-old tomboy tromping through the woods on a rescue mission. One last moment of agony for today wouldn’t break her, would it? And so she walked the green mile to Archer’s office with the bruised face he’d be able to see and with what remained of the bruised heart she’d shove back into hiding.

Chapter 34

Archer Hayes

“H
ere’s some ice. Man, that was awesome!” Sal’s misplaced hero worship made Archer grimace. “Okay fine, I’ll leave you to it. Just let me know if you need me to check on anything while you’re stuck in here.”

Archer draped the bag of ice over his knuckles and nodded. “Thanks.”

The door clicked shut, and he slumped back in his desk chair, shoved the ice away.

When he’d gotten that text from Sadie his panic had been indescribable. Over an hour away from home, he felt something he vowed never to feel again—helpless. It was as if he was still holding Jimmy, watching life drain out of him all over again, knowing that he could have prevented it, and knowing it was too late. That same manic helplessness had taken over when he’d flipped on his sirens and gunned it back toward St. Louis.

It had been the most terrifying hour of his life—and he’d been in a war.

Yes, the police had intervened in time after his call. But when he thought again of what they said the man attempted to do—what Sadie had endured—rage took over, his blood pressure spiking so high he could have morphed into the hulk and literally killed someone with his bare hands.

He might have too, if his boss hadn’t quarantined him to his office until Canterbury could be taken from the premises. That might seem dramatic, but it was only after Archer arrived at the office a few minutes ago, busted open the door to Canterbury’s interrogation room, and got in a solid three or four skull-cracking punches before the other agents pulled him back. Archer’s hand was about twice its normal size, so he was pretty sure he’d broken a bone or two. But as far as he was concerned, it was worth it.

Then again, now that he was coming down from his blind fury, he kept feeling like he’d made the wrong choice. He should have gone to Sadie first, but all this was new to him and Archer wasn’t used to leading with his heart. Actually, he couldn’t remember a time when his heart had any say at all.

He was emotionally compromised. It felt like a disease, invading every ounce of logic and turning him into an impulsive maniac. He could have blown the whole case by attacking Canterbury. He knew better.

Primal instinct told him to avenge Sadie’s honor, but if he could redo the last ten minutes, he would have saved the payback for later and gone to comfort her instead. If it weren’t for the two agents at his door and the threat of unemployment from Jensen, that’s exactly where he’d be.

There was no excuse. He’d let her down. And just like with Jimmy—and so many others whose blood still stained his hands—Archer should have been able to do something, should have been ready.

The torment of the helpless moment waged a dark war in his soul. He’d given up everything to avoid this, and yet here he found himself again, still battling forces so much greater than he could control. Only now, he finally realized it was a war he could never win on his own.

It all came rushing in, flooding over his head and saturating his very being with incredible clarity. Clinging to his pain and his anger, he hadn’t realized how much effort he’d put into fighting against the grain. But even though it went against his very nature as a soldier, every part of him begged for surrender.

He sucked in a breath, felt a seed of calm bloom over the panic, felt a warm assurance ease his shame. It was time to stop hiding. Time to come home like the prodigal son, and trade in his broken past for the beautiful hope in the unknown, and whatever it held.

He bowed his head right there at his desk and prayed. Peace so potent and pure wrapped around him like an embrace. He finally understood the look on Jimmy’s face when he’d been called home. All Archer’s pent up prayers began to pour forth with ease—a sweet elixir for his thirsty soul.

It wasn’t too late. He could lay his past to rest and move on. As long as he drew breath, he could fight for another chance. This time he wouldn’t give up until he got it right.

A knock came moments before Sadie was granted entrance to his office. Archer was out of his seat and across the room so quickly he must have startled her since she leapt back and bumped against the door as it shut behind her.

“Oh God, you’re here. You’re okay. You’re okay.” He realized he was gently but frantically patting her down while panting those words to himself, needing tangible—and apparently verbally repetitive—confirmation that she was still whole.

She was a beautiful mess. A colorfully bruised and swollen cheek had an inch-long gash now covered with Steri-Strips. Another bloody lump swelled at her temple, and remnants of dried blood crusted in her hair. There were angry strangulation marks on her slender neck, and fiery red rope burns on her arms where she’d fought against her restraints.

Archer pulled back, praying he hadn’t hurt her with his inspection, and pressed his palm against the riot in his chest. Fury burned hot and wild in his veins, but pride won out as he remembered all she’d done to thwart Canterbury’s attacks. She was the strongest woman he knew. Right now, though, she looked frail. Weariness hung like defeat on her slim shoulders.

Realizing he stood staring at her instead of doing the only thing he wanted to do, he carefully encircled her in his arms. He breathed in the scent of her citrus hair, skimmed his hands up and down her back with soothing strokes. “I’ve never been so scared in my life.” He searched her eyes. “Baby, I’m so sorry I wasn’t there.”

Sadie nodded and bit her lip, those sea glass eyes wide and glossy as she stood there trembling in his arms.

He flipped the lock on the door so they wouldn’t be disturbed, and then leading her to a padded armchair in the corner of his office he sat her down, knelt in front of her, and held both of her dainty hands in his. Hot tears stung behind his eyes, threatening to unleash emotions he wasn’t sure he was ready to expose. “
Are
you okay?”

She nodded again, but he could tell she was barely keeping it together. He was right there with her.

“They told me what happened. I would’ve been there sooner, but I was in Illinois trying to question this same guy. We started back after we found out that he’d escaped, and that’s when I got your text. You were so brave.” He curled his finger beneath her chin, tipping up her face to level with his eyes. “I can’t believe I could have lost you, again.”

Sadie leaned to the edge of the chair and placed her tender arms around his neck, tucking her face into his shoulder. His arms seemed to surround her tiny frame twice. He held her close and let her cry. This. This was where he wanted to be. Pressing kisses into her hairline, and anywhere he could reach without disturbing their embrace.

Someone rapped on the door. It was probably Sal, and Archer knew he wouldn’t go away quietly. Regretfully he eased out of Sadie’s arms and went to open the door. “What?”

“He just confessed to killing Charles Westwick. We got him. Guy’s definitely out there though.” Sal whistled—the sound descended as if falling from a cliff when he spotted Sadie. His eyes softened with concern. “Hey Karate Kid. How’re you holding up?”

Sadie just shrugged, smearing away more tears.

“You’re a real rock star, you know? From what I heard his face looked pretty banged up even before Archer got to him. Not to mention those broken ribs. Badass!”

Archer shook his head, signaling Sal to shut his big yap.

Sal squeaked out an apology and retreated to the bullpen just beyond Archer’s door.

“What did he mean you got to him?” Sadie sniffled. “I thought you just got back?”

Her skin was all swollen and splotchy, her nose red and chapped, but Archer had never seen a prettier sight. “I did. I, uh …” He shrugged, attempting to soften the ugly truth of his actions. “Well, let’s just say after I heard what he tried to do to you I paid him a little visit, scrambled his brain a bit. That’s why I didn’t come to you. I’m stuck in here until they move him out. It seems I’m a bit of a loose cannon.”

It was only a slight smile, but the ray of sunshine reached clear across the room where he stood by his desk and warmed him. “I see. Well it looks like you broke your hand on his face, but thank you, for defending my honor.”

“I just wish I’d been there to protect my girl, save you from all of this.”
My girl
. He’d just blurted it out. And heaven help him, even with all his training and his generally sharp instincts, he couldn’t decipher the look that crossed her face. Was she still his girl? Had she ever been? More importantly, would she ever be?

He didn’t want to spook her by coming on too strong, but he also didn’t want her to confuse his restraint for lack of interest. This was unfamiliar terrain he had no idea how to navigate. There were no guarantees it would work out, but he knew he wasn’t strong enough to let her go.

Sadie saved him from toiling any longer. “I wanted to talk to you about that. And about the other night. It’s sort of complicated but I trust y—”

The door swung back open, abruptly severing her confession.

Agent Mackenzie crossed to him in two long-legged, tight-skirted strides. As usual she was putting on a show and started in before he could get a word out. “Hey, this must have fallen out of that extra file of information you requested on that witness girl you’ve been investigating. The car was previously registered to a Ryan Burke. Sorry I didn’t notice it until now—Ouch, your hand. That looks really painful.” She brushed her chest against his arm and laid her hand on his.

Archer’s body recoiled without hesitation, but his mind lagged behind. For a moment he just stood there between the two, his mouth slightly open and a breath trapped in his lungs.

“Oh.” Agent Mackenzie’s ditzy laugh was aimed at Sadie. “I didn’t realize you had company, I’ll come back later.”

She swaggered out, and Archer clenched his eyes, knowing what that must have looked like.

Sadie stood a little too quickly to keep her balance. But when he rushed over to steady her she sidestepped his help.

“I can explain …” His throat clogged, his mind scrambling for the right words, just beyond his grasp. The hurt on her face stabbed at his conscience. Was it from his snooping or Mackenzie’s implication? Or both? Fix it!
A black wall surrounded him, and he felt like he was sinking into a deep hole, trying to claw his way out and hating himself for all his mistakes big and small.

“That was not what it looked like … I …”
Come on Archer, pull it together.
This was one of those critical moments, everything hinging on a lynchpin he’d pulled much too early when he’d indulged his curiosity.

“You … what?” Sadie folded her arms. “Are the DMV records case related? You had to spy on me to get your answers? You were
investigating
me? Boy, the FBI sure is thorough.”

Her eyes blazed blue fire. She didn’t wait for his answers, answers that were are flimsy as the grip they seemed to have on his voice box. “You know, I very seldom let my guard down. Did you learn that from my file? Just keep digging, I’m sure you’ll find out all you care to know about me. Sorry my life’s not a more exciting read.” She straightened her spine and crossed to the door. “It’s my fault for breaking my own rules. But just a tip,
Agent Hayes
…” She glanced back over her shoulder.

He winced, hating the formality on her lips and knowing he deserved what was coming.

“If you want some info, your investigative techniques should probably be geared toward asking some questions instead of silencing me with your kisses. Might’ve saved you some time and some …” She nodded toward the bullpen—and Agent Mackenzie. “… company resources. Then again, you got to have your cake and eat it, too. Well played.”

“Sadie, wait.” He pleaded, reaching for her as she backed away, the distrust in her eyes unbearable. “I wasn’t investigating you. I ran that search a long time ago, and Agent Mackenzie and I are not—”

“We’ve only known each other for two weeks. This was obviously just part of the job to you.” She inched outside his door beyond the guards. “So you’re off the hook. You don’t owe me anything.”

Whipping around, she grabbed Sal’s arm. “Sal, I need a ride.” Without waiting for his reply she hauled him out the door.

“Sadie!” He yelled knowing she could still hear and unwilling to let her go without a fight. But the agents posted at his door strong-armed his escape, then restrained and hauled him back into his office. Having already created a spectacle, he growled at the gawkers and slammed the office door behind him.

The empty minutes that followed were torturous, his mind working to undo the twisted web that brought him to this moment.

Why hadn’t he asked Sadie about the Camaro? He’d been curious and had plenty of opportunities. But he’d been cowering behind his badge. Making excuses to stay detached—to keep Sadie, or anyone for that matter, on lockout.

But now …