What You Wish For (15 page)

The Navy called it a mutiny and hanged those it could capture. Fred fled the country and finally settled in Spain, living under an assumed name.

Though there was still a sizeable price on his head, when Mrs Hale had asked to see her only son one last time, Margaret had felt compelled to write to her brother and, being the good and loving son that he was, Fred had felt duty bound to take the risk and return to see his mother one last time.

Carrie was basically the only one allowed out of the house for her work, and then only so that she could pick up anything else they needed on her way home. She also went to see Mr Hale's pupils, to tell them that he was ill and would not be able to give them their lessons this week.

That seemed to keep most people away and Carrie spent much of her time at home, reading on her own so as to give the family time together.

On the third day of Frederick's visit, Carrie had no errands to run on her way home, so she decided to go straight to the circus from work, thinking that it would be quieter in the afternoon and that she might have longer to speak with the psychic.

Lilith worked from a small tent outside the main circus marquee and charged two pence per reading. In the event though, her small tent was closed and a sign hanging outside proclaimed it would not open for another two hours, so Carrie stood and waited.

“
Won't open for a while, love,” a young lady said she she passed. “You'd best come back later.”

“
I'm happy to wait, thank you.”

“
Somethin' important, is it?”

“
I suppose.”

“
But you won't tell me what it is,” the other woman guessed. She was dressed simply, in a functional brown skirt and white blouse, her long red hair plaited down her back.

“
No, I'm sorry.”

“
Don't be, we're used to sceptics round 'ere. Why don't you come with me, and we'll see if we can't get Lilith to see you a bit earlier.”

“
Oh, I don't want to put her to any trouble.”

“
Don't worry, Lilith always wants paying customers. Follow me, love.”

She led Carrie through the small wooden caravans and tents, until she arrived at a wooden caravan with 'Lilith's Psychic Readings' painted on the side. The woman climbed into the rear of the caravan and Carrie paused, unwilling to enter without an invitation.

“
Are you comin'?” the woman called, so Carrie mounted the wooden steps and found that the woman she had been speaking with was the only one in there, and she was seated at a table.

“
You're Lilith?”

“
I am,” she smiled and gestured to a Romany looking outfit hanging on the wall. “I look more the part once me stall opens, it's what the folks expect. Who might you be?”

“
I'm Carrie.”

Lilith held her hand out and shook Carrie's.

“
Sit yourself down, lass, and let's see what we can do for you.”

Carrie sat opposite her and Lilith reached out and took her hand, then closed her eyes.

“
You are a long way from home,” she said.

Well, Carrie's accent was proof of that.

“
But it's more than just distance, you have come from much further away. You feel lost, though you are exactly where you are supposed to be.”

Lilith suddenly opened her eyes and dropped Carrie hand as though she'd been scolded.

“
Why are you here?” Lilith asked in a sharp tone.

“
I want you to contact someone for me, someone who's dead.”

“
You think this person has the answers you seek?”

“
How do you know I'm seeking answers?”

“
Because everyone who comes to see me wants answers, but I'm sorry, I cannot contact the dead. I can only see the past and the future.”

“
So what do you see in my future?” Carrie asked. Lilith's sudden withdrawal was worrying.

“
I saw...” Lilith licked her lips. “I saw a family. You will have many children and die an old lady.”

“
Oh, don't talk bollocks!” Carrie snapped. “I know you saw something and I know it wasn't nice.”

Lilith looked slightly taken aback by her sharp words.

“
People who come to me don't want the truth,” she told Carrie. “They want reassurance.”

“
Well I don't,” Carrie assured her. “I need to know if I'm ever going to get home.”

“
No,” Lilith said with surety. “The place you call home is not something I recognise, but I know that you are destined never to see it again.”

“
Why?”

“
Because you made a choice, you asked Fate to change the hand that you'd been dealt and Fate intervened. Your destiny has changed but Fate does not offer second chances. In fact I have only once heard of Fate being harnessed in such a way, and it takes a very powerful sorcerer to do it. Way out of my league.”

“
Okay.” Carrie took some deep calming breaths and tried to blink back the tears that threatened to fall. She had already guessed that she was stuck here but hearing it confirmed brought her emotions to the surface. Though they had argued a lot and weren't very close, she missed her family and the idea of never seeing them again was a difficult reality to come to terms with.

Still, she reasoned, many people lost their families, at least she had the comfort of knowing that her's were alive and well.

“
Okay, so if I am stuck here, I need to know if I made the right decision about something.”

Lilith's expression turned compassionate.

“
No,” she said softly. “In refusing him you have condemned yourself and those around you to misery.”

“
Why should I believe you?” Carrie asked.

“
You have no reason to trust me, but then I have no reason to lie.”

Carrie looked into the eyes of the woman opposite her and could see no signs of deception.

“
And what would have happened if I'd said yes?” Carrie asked, her voice soft and fearful.

“
It's not very clear but, though different to what life had originally planned for you, you would have been happy, much happier than Fate originally intended.”

“
And what about Margaret? If I had said yes, what would have happened to her?”

“
She would have married a politician.”

“
But is she happy?”

“
She would have been, yes.”

“
What have I done?” Carrie felt her tears spill over.

Lilith reached out again and took her hand, but this time to offer comfort rather than gain insight.

“
The fact that I can see anything of an alternate future means that you still have time. It is not too late.”

“
Really?”

“
Yes.”

Carrie smiled.

“
I must offer you a word of caution though. Be truthful with him, absolutely truthful about everything. If you try and hide who you really are, your marriage will be built on lies and distrust is the only possible outcome.”

“
But he'll think I'm crazy.”

“
Perhaps, but do you really have so little faith in him?”

Carrie sniffed and got her handkerchief out to wipe her eyes.

“
I suppose not. Well, the truth is, I idolise him.”

Lilith smiled and got up to make some tea. Carrie got her purse out.

“
No, just tell me the truth about where you're from,” Lilith said, refusing the money. “I have never seen any place like it before.”

“
Well...” She thought she might as well get some practice in now. Besides, what did it matter if Lilith thought she was crazy since she was probably never going to see her again. “I'm from the future.”

Lilith stared at her for a long time before she slowly nodded.

“
Aye, I believe you are.” She smiled. “And how did you come to be here?”

“
I'm not quite sure. I think... My aunt died and left me some earrings that she said would give me my heart's desire, that's all I can think of.”

“
Those earrings?” Lilith asked, pointing to the ones she was wearing.

“
Yes.”

“
May I?” Lilith reached out to touch them, so Carrie took one earring off and handed it to her. Lilith inhaled sharply as she touched it. “Powerful magic indeed.” She handed it back and returned to the table with a tea pot and two cups.

“
But they can't get me back home?” Carrie asked, putting her earring back on.

“
No. Like I said, no matter how powerful a sorcerer is, Fate can only be altered once, you can't reverse what's been done.”

“
The really strange thing though...” Carrie began, cupping her tea cup in her hands and staring into it's depths. “Well, where I'm from, this universe isn't real. The life I'm living, the people I'm meeting, they're all characters from a novel; just an invented story. How can I be living in fiction?”

“
Is it fiction?” Lilith asked. “Me Mam used to say that the possibilities of the mind were endless. If we could dream it, then it was true.”

Carrie thought about the the theory of multiple dimensions and suddenly wished she'd paid more attention to those physics documentaries on the BBC. Was it possible that just dreaming something could create it? There was no denying that she seemed to be living her life in this fictional world, so it must be possible. Did that mean that somewhere out there, there was a universe in which Harry Potter was real too?

She smiled at the thought but quickly sobered up again.

“
What about my family?” she asked. “Back home, I mean. Will they... Will they miss me?”

“
I don't know,” Lilith answered truthfully. “Maybe when you left they forgot about you, as though you never existed in that world... or maybe they don't know what happened to you, and maybe they're searching.”

“
But there's nothing I can do for them, is there?”

“
No, love. For better or worse, you're here now. You'd best make the most of it.”

Carrie nodded and sipped her tea.

“
Thank you, you've been, a big help.”

“
It's nice to use me gift for someone who really wants help for a change,” Lilith smiled. “Most people just want to hear that they're going to meet a tall, dark, handsome stranger, or that they're going to die of old age. Now, drink up and then go and see about putting your mistake right, before anyone else suffers for it.”

Carrie quickly finished her tea then returned to the mill yard. Now that she had made a decision, she was eager to see it through. She almost ran through the yard, into the offices and burst straight into Mr Thonrton's office without knocking.

Chapter Twelve

Mr Thornton looked up from his desk to see Carrie standing in his doorway. He knew that he should fire her and end this daily torment that they both endured, but he couldn't bring himself to sever their working relationship because right now, it was the only relationship they had.

“
Miss Preston, I thought you had left for the day.” Though his words were pleasant, his tone was cold and hard.

“
I had.” Now that's she was here, her courage was failing her. “I... I need to talk to you, Mr Thornton. I want to tell you the truth about me, where I'm from and how I came to be here and if, after you've heard what I have to say, you would like to ask me to marry you again, I won't say no.”

“
If?” he asked.

“
Yes,
if
.” She swallowed down her panic at the idea that he might reject her. “Is there somewhere private where we can talk? Alone?”

“
Will here not do?” he asked, for they were alone in his office.

“
Yes, I suppose.” She looked up into his eyes which were still cool and unfeeling. “There are some things I have to collect first though, things I need to show you. Will you wait for me?”

He glared at her for a moment, seemingly fighting his own judgement, then he turned away.

“
Go,” he told her, his back to her as he looked out across the mill courtyard.

“
I won't be long,” she assured him, retreating to the door.

Mr Thornton watched as she crossed the yard and left through the mill gate.

The idea that he might finally understand her thrilled him, but at the same time he still felt the sting of her rejection most keenly. He was tempted to turn her away when she returned, though in his heart he knew that he couldn't. For better or worse, he was a fool in love and little more than a slave to his feelings for her.

Carrie borrowed a large basket from Dixon then went up to her room, putting her rucksack and handbag into the basket and covering them with a cloth, for such unusual items would surely draw attention if she made no effort to hide them. The family were all in Mrs Hale's room so she didn't face any awkward questions as she flew out of the house again and rushed back to the mill, eager to get this off her chest once and for all.

She looked to his office as she came back into the yard, and was surprised to see him still standing at the window. She wondered if he had moved since she left. She tried to smile at him but she was nervous and it came out more like a grimace. She hurried inside instead.