What Were You Expecting? (12 page)

She claimed them with a calm, tender certainty, repeating the rest of the vows in her sweet, musical voice. Nils searched her face for discomfort or unease, but he saw no trace of either. Just warmth and openness, and when she said “to love and to cherish” a bolt of something impossibly pure and true made his eyes burn with emotion. The way she said it, it was almost as though she meant it.

“All right. Now, by the authority in me vested by the laws of this state, I pronounce you husband and wife.”

Maggie’s eyes widened just a touch at those words and Nils watched as her lips tilted up a tiny bit in wonder.

Beck cleared his throat. “Uh, Nils. You may kiss your bride.”

Nils jerked his head to look at Beck, whose eyes narrowed briefly before looking down at his book again.

Damn it, Nils hadn’t anticipated this. It had simply never occurred to him that he’d have to kiss Maggie in order to make things official. He turned back to her and watched her eyebrows knit briefly as her tongue darted out to wet her lips, and aw, hell, that little move was his undoing. She started to shake her head, but Nils was feeling too emotional, too invested in what had just transpired between them, to pull away from her now. He reached for her face, cupping her cheeks reverently as he leaned toward her. He tilted his face and closed his eyes as his lips touched hers.

He didn’t expect for her to make a small sighing sound in the back of her throat, or lift her hands to flatten them on his chest, which swelled with love for her. On one of those fingers was the ring that made her his wife, and it made him bold and possessive. His tongue darted out to part the seam of her lips, and his heart kicked into a gallop as her fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt, her nails grazing his chest through the layers. Her lips opened softly beneath his and he touched his tongue tentatively to hers, a shudder of pleasure taking his breath away before he realized she was gently but firmly pushing against his chest. She was pushing him away.

The faint sound of clapping snapped him back to reality and he drew back from Maggie, staring at her as she panted lightly, her chest rising and lowering quickly, her eyes dilated and uncertain. Her cheeks were flushed and her lips glistened as he stared at them in shock. He winced as he met her eyes again. God damn it! He’d kissed Maggie. Kissed her. Crossed a major line. Damn it. Damn, damn, damn!

“To the new Mr. and Mrs. Lindstrom!” said Tess, smiling even more knowingly than before as she clapped quietly with her mother and Beck. “Congratulations!”

***

Maggie was having trouble taking a good, deep breath.

It wasn’t like she was some untried virgin. Maggie had had several lovers in secondary school and at university. She’d even had a quiet fling with a cute tourist when she’d first moved to Gardiner. But she’d never, ever experienced the maelstrom of feelings that Nils’s kiss had awakened in her. My God, how was she ever supposed to see the world in the same way ever again? And more importantly, how was she ever supposed to look at him like a
friend
again?

She turned to Tess and gave her a weak smile, hoping she didn’t look as off kilter and emotionally overloaded as she felt. Maybe it was just the surprise of it. Maybe that was it. For so long she’d longed for Nils to see her as more than a friend. From the moment they walked into that conference room, the energy between them had changed, and when they stared into each other’s eyes and recited their wedding vows, she’d almost felt like they were actually marrying each other, not just saying vows that would lead to a green card. Would it be crazy to hope that the mere act of saying the words had opened his heart to her? Because that’s how his kiss had felt. It hadn’t felt like an official gesture to seal the deal or allay suspicion. It had felt…real.

Tess had circled around the table to give Nils a hug, and she turned to Maggie with her arms open. Maggie stared at the attractive woman for a moment, then gave her a quick embrace as her eyes started to burn with so many different emotions: jealousy of Nils’s bond to Tess, confusion over the intensity of the marriage ceremony, hope that their wedding had opened a window into Nils seeing her as a woman, and not just a friend. She needed to take a moment for herself before the tears started to fall in front of Nils, Beck, and the Branson women.

“I-uh, thank you, B-Beck. Excuse me,” she muttered quietly, pulling away from Tess and rushing from the room quickly to use the ladies’ room.

She closed the door of the small, single bathroom behind her, placing trembling hands on the sink in front of her as she looked at her reflection in the mirror. A strange feeling passed through her as she heard the words
Maggie Lindstrom
whispered in her head. She was Nils’s wife now. Regardless of their arrangement to keep the marriage a secret and continue to live their independent lives, something fundamental had changed between them. She meant every word she’d said to him when she had repeated the vows after Beck: she loved Nils and she would love, honor, cherish and keep him forever. For as long as he would let her.

She reached up gingerly and touched her lips with her fingertips, marveling at the gentle possession of his kiss, the way heat had pooled in her belly, then below, signaling that she was ready for far more than a kiss from Nils. Her toes had curled in her boots and her fingers had grasped the fabric of his shirt as her world spun on an axis made up of the space shared by her lips pressed against her husband’s on their wedding day.

A wave of hope made her eyes burn with fresh tears as she wondered if it was possible that Nils could feel the same way she did. He couldn’t have kissed her like that—with that much unrestrained emotion—just for show. Every cell in her body told her that he cared for her just as much as she cared for him. She took a deep breath and ran her fingers through her reddish-blonde hair, pushing it behind her shoulder and smiling at herself. If it was possible, she intended to find out. After that kiss, she would ask Nils if they could test the waters of “more than friends,” hoping that today was just the beginning of something special.

She turned the knob and walked back into the waiting room.

“Ah, Maggie. You okay?” Beck searched her eyes with that worried, disappointed look that was starting to annoy her.

“Of course.” And she was. For the first time in years, it felt like her dreams had a chance of coming true. That kiss had meant something. She just knew it.

“I need you to sign this for me.” He smoothed his hand over her marriage certificate and Maggie took the pen, signing Magaidh Lioslaith Campbell with a flourish.

“Maga…” Beck looked up at her, unable to navigate the tongue twister.

“It’s still pronounced Maggie. My da just felt strongly about the traditional spellin’.”

“And Lio…”

“Lioslaith. Like the English name Leslie. That was my Aunt Lily’s full name. I was named for her.”

“I see,” he said softly, then nodded, a grim expression chasing away his grin as he offered her his hand. “I hope it works out for you, Maggie Leslie. Remember…remember what I said, okay?”

She smiled at him as she shook his hand. “Thanks for everything, Beck. Is Nils still in the…”

Beck gave her a tight smile and nodded toward the conference room. Maggie walked the short distance to the door but stopped by the entrance to the room, taking a deep breath and gathering her courage to make a move on Nils. The rumble of his soft, deep voice made butterflies flurry in her tummy, and she leaned her head against the door frame for a moment, listening unobserved to the low timbre of his voice.

“…I swear to you, you’ve got it wrong,” he said, and Maggie swallowed uncomfortably, straightening.

“I know what I saw, Nils. You never looked at me that way. You look at her the way Lucas looks at me.”

“No, Tess. You’re wrong. I mean it. There’s nothing there. Nothing. She’s just Maggie. We’re friends and I’m doing her a favor. That’s all it is.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

“You
know
me, Tess. You know that I’m not looking for—”

“Yes, but I thought maybe—
finally
you were able to…”

“No.” His tone was harsh. “No. Never.”

“But the way you touched her…the way you kissed her…Nils, it looked like—”

“Good. Because it needed to look real. But, it wasn’t. It was just an act. For your mom…and Beck. Just in case they ever have to testify, they can say that to the best of their knowledge it was a legitimate wedding. We’re just friends, Tess. She’s not special to me. Not like that.”

Tess’s soothing voice answered, saying something about hoping he would give himself a second chance at happiness one day, but Maggie wasn’t listening anymore. She was dizzy and the blood had drained from her face. Her chest hurt like he’d sucker punched her in the sternum. All of it had just been for show. The vows, the hand-holding, the kiss. It had been an act and nothing else. There was no hope for a future together. She clenched her jaw in an effort to stave off the impending tears and braced her hand on the door, making it creak softly, and drawing Tess and Nils’s eyes to where Maggie had been standing.

Nils’s eyes met hers and she could tell he was processing the fact that she had overheard everything.

“Maggie…” he said softly, his voice low and tight with regret.

She backed up into Beck, whom she found at her shoulder. Turning, she lifted her glistening eyes to his kind brown ones. “Drive me home?”

Without waiting for him to answer, she turned on her heel and walked out of the office, away from Nils, away from her husband, away from the friend who couldn’t seem to stop breaking her heart.

Chapter 7

Over the next month, Nils made a concerted effort not to go anywhere near the Prairie Dawn.

After Nils’s third or fourth refusal, his father and Lars started making the daily coffee run, and he thanked all that was holy neither his father nor his brother pried into the reason for his reticence. They seemed to understand that whatever had happened between Nils and Maggie wasn’t trivial, and even Lars’s usual teasing was kept to a bare minimum.

Maggie hadn’t even asked for Nils to come by and sign the various forms to start the process for her green card. She’d had her assistant, Bethany, drop them by his office one day with yellow sticky notes in Beck’s handwriting, indicating everywhere he needed to sign.

He’d barely seen her.

However, being away from her had the unfortunate result of keeping her foremost in his mind. At every free moment of the day, Nils relived the kiss he’d shared with Maggie. He’d lie in bed, his body aroused almost beyond bearing and touch his fingers to his lips, remembering the soft pliancy of her mouth beneath his, the way her tongue had tentatively touched his. Some nights, it took every ounce of his strength—of his honor—not to rush from his house, stride through town and walk into that café to pull her into his arms and tell her that he’d meant every word of their vows, that he loved her, that he needed her, that his body wanted her so badly that he could barely think straight since he’d married her.

Married her.

And that was the other thing. The other reason he stayed away from her: he couldn’t stop thinking about her as his wife. As someone who belonged to him. And until he could actually see her as his friend again, it was best he stayed away. He’d already confused things between them by kissing her after their wedding vows. Kissing her like he was actually kissing his wife.

It killed him that he’d hurt her right before she rushed out of Beck’s office. Did he feel bad about denying his feelings for Maggie in his conversation to Tess? Yes. He felt like a bastard. But, even in the split second he considered running after her, he knew it was for the best that she believe their wedding vows were meaningless to him.

He didn’t know why he’d protested his feelings so vehemently to Tess. Maybe because she was the only person in the world to whom he’d ever told the truth. Only Tess knew that something inside of him had died with Veronica on that operating table in Missoula. Only Tess knew how culpable Nils was in everything that had happened to that poor girl, though she’d tried over and over again to convince him that it wasn’t his fault. Tessie’s intentions were good, but Nils knew better. It was
all
Nils’s fault and the least he could do was make sure that it never, ever happened again.

And so his life moved forward in quiet agony, missing Maggie, staying away from her, throwing himself into work and reliving every moment of his wedding day, until somehow a month had passed. He woke up bright and early on the first Saturday in June, checked the calendar on his phone to reconfirm it was a rare Saturday with no tours booked, and laced his fingers behind his head. A Saturday of leisure stretched out before him. Only one thing was certain: the day had to start with Swedish
våfflor.

After showering and dressing, he whipped up the batter and checked his cabinet looking for
Sylt Ligon
, ligonberry jam, grimacing when he realized he was out. Maybe Lars had some. He slipped down the back stairs and knocked on his younger brother’s back door. One benefit of sharing a two-family house with his brother was that Lars kept his kitchen much better stocked than Nils did.