What to expect when you're expecting (114 page)

“I sometimes feel regular little spasms in my abdomen. Is this kicking, or a twitch, or what?”

Believe it or not, your baby’s probably got hiccups, a phenomenon not uncommon among fetuses during the last half of pregnancy. Some get hiccups several times a day, every day. Others never get them at all. The same pattern may continue after birth.

But before you start holding your breath or trying other hiccup tricks, you should know that hiccups don’t cause the same discomfort in babies—in or out of the uterus—as they do in adults, even when they last 20 minutes or more. So just relax and enjoy this little entertainment from within.

“I missed the curb today when I was out walking and fell belly first on the pavement. Could the fall have hurt the baby?”

Is pregnancy tripping you up? That’s not surprising—after all, once you enter the third trimester, there are plenty of factors that can combine to literally put you head over heels. For one, your impaired sense of balance, which has been thrown off-kilter as your center of gravity keeps shifting forward, along with your belly. For another, your looser, less stable joints, which add to awkwardness and make you prone to minor falls, especially those belly flops. Also contributing to clumsiness are your tendency to tire easily, your predisposition to preoccupation and daydreaming, and the difficulty you may be having seeing past your belly to your feet—all of which makes those curbs and other stumbling blocks easy to miss.

But while a curbside spill may leave you with multiple scrapes and bruises (particularly on your ego, if it was a public flop), it’s extremely rare for a fetus to suffer the consequences of its mother’s clumsiness. Your baby is protected by one of the world’s most sophisticated shock absorption systems, comprised of amniotic fluid, tough membranes, the elastic, muscular uterus, and the sturdy abdominal cavity, which is girded with muscles and bones. For it to be penetrated, and for your baby to be hurt, you’d have to sustain very serious injuries, the kind that would very likely land you in the hospital.

If you’re concerned, however, do call your practitioner for extra reassurance.

“After I have an orgasm, my baby usually stops kicking for about half an hour. Does that mean that sex isn’t safe at this point in pregnancy?”

No matter what you do these days, your baby’s along for the ride. And when it comes to lovemaking, the ride can make baby very sleepy. The rocking motion of sex and the rhythmic uterine contractions that follow orgasm often lull fetuses to dreamland. Some babies, on the other hand (because every baby’s an individual), become more lively after their parents make love. Either reaction is normal and healthy, and it is in no way a sign that sex isn’t safe. Nor, in case you’re wondering, is it a sign that baby’s in the know about what’s going on between those sheets (baby’s completely in the dark, literally).

In fact, unless your practitioner has prescribed otherwise, you can continue enjoying lovemaking—and orgasms—until delivery. And you might as well get that sex in while you can. Let’s face it—it may be a while before it’s this convenient to make love with your baby in the house again.

“I’ve been having so many vivid dreams—day and night—about the baby that I’m beginning to think I’m losing my mind.”

Been catching some pretty strange late shows along with your z’s? Dreams—and daydreams and fantasies—from the horrifying (like the one about leaving the baby on the bus) to the heartwarming (snuggling chubby cheeks, pushing strollers through a sunny park), to the bizarre (giving birth to an alien baby with a tail or to a litter of puppies) are healthy, normal, and very, very common during pregnancy. And though they may make you feel as though you’re losing your mind (was that really a giant salami that chased you around the parking lot of Babies “R” Us last night?), they’re actually helping you stay sane. They’re just one way that your subconscious works through your mind’s overload of prebaby anxieties, fears, hopes, and insecurities and comes to terms with the impending upheaval in your life—an outlet for the 1,001 conflicting emotions (from ambivalence to trepidation to overwhelming excitement and joy) you’re feeling but may be uneasy expressing any other way. Think of it as therapy you can sleep through.

Hormones contribute, also, to your heavier-than-usual dream schedule (what don’t they contribute to?). Plus, they can make your dreams much more vivid. The lighter sleep you’ve been getting also plays a part in your ability to recall your dreams—and recall them in high definition. Because you’re waking up more often than you used to, whether to use the bathroom, kick off some blankets, or just toss, turn, and try to get comfortable, you have more opportunities to wake up in the middle of a REM dream cycle. With the dreams so fresh in your mind each time you awaken, you’re able to remember them in greater—and sometimes unnerving—detail.

Oops! dreams. Dreaming about losing or misplacing things (from your car
keys to your baby); forgetting to feed the baby; missing a doctor’s appointment; going out to shop and leaving baby home alone; being unprepared for the baby when he or she arrives can reveal the common fear that you’re not up to being a mother.

Preparing Fido and Whiskers

Already a parent—to the kind of baby that has four legs, fur, and a tail? Concerned that your pet, who’s used to ruling the roost (and curling up on your bed and your lap), will suffer from a bad (and possibly dangerous) case of sibling rivalry when you show up with a new baby? Taking steps now to prepare your dog or cat for when baby makes three (people, that is) is crucial. See
What to Expect the First Year
for tips and recommendations on preparing the family pet for baby’s arrival.

Here are some of the most commonly reported dream and fantasy themes during pregnancy. Some probably sound familiar.

Ouch! dreams. Being attacked or hurt—by intruders, burglars, animals; or falling down the stairs after a push or a slip—may represent a sense of vulnerability.

Help! dreams. Dreams of being enclosed or unable to escape—trapped in a tunnel, a car, a small room; drowning in a pool, a lake of snowy slush, a car wash—can signify the fear of being tied down by the expected new family member, of losing your once carefree life to a demanding newborn.

Oh no! dreams. Dreams of gaining no weight or gaining a lot of weight overnight; overeating; eating or drinking the wrong things (a tray of sushi washed down with a pitcher of martinis)—are common among those trying to stick to a dietary regimen.

Ugh! dreams. Dreaming about becoming unattractive or repulsive to your spouse or about your spouse taking up with someone else—expresses the common fear that pregnancy will destroy your looks forever and make you unappealing to your partner.

Sexual dreams. Dreams about sexual encounters—either positive or negative, pleasure or guilt provoking—may reflect the sexual confusion and ambivalence often experienced during pregnancy.

Memory dreams. Dreaming of death and resurrection—lost parents or other relatives reappearing—may be the subconscious mind’s way of linking old and new generations.