What to expect when you're expecting (10 page)

Fact:
Though this was once believed to be true, more recent research has shown that having sex every day around the time of ovulation is slightly more likely to end in pregnancy than having sex every other day. More, apparently, is more.

Myth
: Wearing boxer shorts will increase fertility.

Fact:
Scientists have yet to rule definitively on the boxers versus briefs debate, but most experts seem to think that the underwear a man favors has little effect on the baby race. Though there is something to be said for keeping the testicles cool and giving them a little breathing room (see
page 13
).

Myth:
Missionary position intercourse is the best way for sperm to reach their target.

Fact:
The cervical mucus that turns thin and stretchy around the time of ovulation is the perfect medium for sperm, helping those boys swim up the vaginal tract, through the cervix, past the uterus, and up the fallopian tubes to the awaiting egg. Unless sperm have a motility problem, they’ll reach their target no matter what position you’re in while you’re doing it. It doesn’t hurt, however, to lie down for a while after intercourse so the sperm don’t run out of the vagina before they even get a running start.

Myth:
Lubricant will help the sperm hitch a ride to Egg Central.

Fact:
Actually, the opposite is true. Lubricants can change the pH balance in the vagina, creating an inhospitable environment for the sperm. So lay off the Astroglide until after your conception mission is accomplished.

Myth:
Daytime sex helps you conceive faster.

Fact:
Sperm levels do seem to be higher in the morning, but no clinical evidence supports that making hay while the sun shines will increase your chances of conception. (But don’t let that stop you if you’d like to grab a quickie before you grab your lunch-break sandwich!)

Just say no to illegal drugs.
Marijuana, cocaine, crack, heroin, and other illicit drugs can be dangerous to your pregnancy. To varying degrees they can prevent your conceiving, and then, if you do succeed, they may be potentially harmful to the fetus and also may increase the risks of miscarriage, prematurity, and stillbirths. If you use drugs, casually or regularly, stop all use
immediately. If you can’t stop, seek help before trying to conceive.

Avoid unnecessary exposure to radiation.
If X-rays are necessary for medical reasons, be sure your reproductive organs are protected (unless they are being targeted. and the lowest radiation doses possible are used. Once you start trying to conceive, inform any technicians taking X-rays that you could be pregnant, and ask them to take all necessary precautions.

Avoid environmental hazards.
Some chemicals—though far from all and usually only in very large doses—are potentially harmful to your eggs before conception and, later, to a developing embryo or fetus. Though the risk in most cases is slight or even just hypothetical, play it safe by avoiding potentially hazardous exposure on the job. Take special care in certain fields (medicine and dentistry, art, photography, transportation, farming and landscaping, construction, hairdressing and cosmetology, dry cleaning, and some factory work). Contact the Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) for the latest information on job safety and pregnancy; also see
page 194
. In some cases, it may be wise to ask for a transfer to another position, change jobs, or take special precautions, if possible, before trying to conceive.

Because elevated lead levels when you conceive could pose problems for your baby, get tested if you have been exposed to lead in the workplace or elsewhere, such as in your water supply or your home (see
page 81
). Avoid, too, excessive exposure to other household toxins.

Get fiscally fit.
Having a baby can be pricey. So, together with your spouse, reevaluate your budget and begin creating a sound financial plan. As part of your plan, find out if your health insurance pays for the cost of prenatal care, birth, and well-baby care. If coverage will not start until a certain date, consider delaying your pregnancy until then. Or if you plan to switch policies, do so before you become pregnant, since some policies consider pregnancy a preexisting condition. And if you don’t have a will yet, now is the time to draw one up.

Work out those work issues.
Find out everything you can about your work rights when pregnant (see
page 187
). If you’re planning a job switch, you might want to consider finding that perfect family-friendly job now so you won’t have to interview with a belly.

Start keeping track.
Become familiar with your monthly cycle and learn the signs of ovulation so you can time intercourse right (see box,
page 8
). Keeping track of when you have sex will also help you pinpoint conception later on, which will make calculating an estimated date of delivery easier.

Give it time.
Keep in mind that it takes an average of six months for a normal, healthy 25-year-old woman to conceive, and longer for women who are older. It may also take longer if your partner is older. So don’t stress if baby magic doesn’t happen right away. Just keep on having fun trying, and give yourselves at least six months before consulting your practitioner and, if needed, a fertility specialist. If you’re over 35, you may want to check in with your practitioner after three months of trying.

Relax.
This is perhaps the most important step of all. Of course, you’re excited about getting pregnant—and, more than likely, at least a little stressed about it, too. But getting tense and uptight about conception could prevent you from conceiving. Learn to do relaxation exercises, to meditate, and to cut down as much as possible on stress in your daily life.

As a dad-to-be, you won’t be providing immediate room and board for your future offspring—but you will be making a vital contribution to the baby-making process (mom can’t do it without you). These preconception steps can help you make conception as healthy as possible.

See your doctor.
Though you won’t be the one carrying the baby—at least not until after delivery—you’ll still need a checkup of your own before you begin baby making. After all, making a healthy baby takes the participation of two healthy bodies. A thorough physical can detect any medical conditions (such as undescended testicles or testicular cysts or tumors) that might interfere with conception or a healthy pregnancy for your partner, as well as ensure that any chronic conditions, such as depression, that might interfere with fertility are under control. While you’re at the doctor’s office, ask about the sexual side effects of any prescription, over-the-counter, or herbal drugs you are taking. Some can cause erectile dysfunction and lower sperm counts—two things you definitely don’t want going on when you’re in baby-making mode.

Get a genetic screening, if needed
. If your spouse is going in for genetic testing, consider tagging along, especially if you have a family history of a genetic problem or other indication.

Improve your diet
. The better your nutrition, the healthier your sperm and the more likely you’ll conceive. Your diet should be a balanced, healthy one that includes plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and lean protein. To be sure you get adequate amounts of the most important nutrients (especially vitamin C, vitamin E, vitamin D, zinc, and calcium, all of which appear to affect fertility or the health of sperm), take a vitamin-mineral supplement while you are attempting to conceive. The supplement should contain folic acid; a low intake of this nutrient in fathers-to-be has been linked to decreased fertility as well as to birth defects.

Look at your lifestyle.
All the answers are not yet in, but research is beginning to show that the use of drugs—including excessive amounts of alcohol—by the male partner prior to conception could prevent pregnancy or lead to a poor pregnancy outcome. The mechanisms aren’t clear, but drug use and daily heavy drinking can apparently damage sperm as well as reduce their number and can alter testicular function and reduce testosterone levels (not a good scenario when you’re trying to conceive). Heavy drinking (equivalent to two drinks a day or five on any one day) during the month before conception could also affect your baby’s birth-weight. Keep in mind, too, that if you cut down on or cut out alcohol, it will be much easier for your partner to do likewise. If you are unable to quit drugs or reduce your alcohol intake, seek help now.

Get your weight on track
. Men with a very high BMI (or body mass index, a measure of body fat based on height and weight. are more likely to be infertile than normal-weight men. Even a 20-pound increase in your weight may increase the chance of infertility by 10 percent, according to researchers. So get your weight in check before trying to conceive.

Stop smoking.
No ifs, ands, or butts: Smoking reduces the number of sperm and makes conceiving more difficult. In addition, quitting now will improve the health of everyone in your family, since secondhand smoke is nearly as dangerous to them as firsthand smoke is to you. In fact, it can increase your baby-to-be’s risk of dying of SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome).

Don’t get zapped.
High lead levels, as well as some organic solvents (such as those found in paints, glues, varnishes, and metal degreasers), pesticides, or other chemicals can interfere with a male’s fertility, so avoid these or limit your exposure as much as possible in preparation for conception.

Keep ’em cool
. Sperm production is impaired when the testicles become overheated. In fact, they prefer to be a couple of degrees cooler than the rest of you, which is why they hang away from your body. So avoid hot tubs and hot baths, saunas, electric blankets, and snug clothing, such as tight jeans. Also avoid synthetic pants and underwear, which can overheat you in hot weather. And keep your laptop off your lap, since the heat from the device can raise your scrotal temperature and reduce your sperm count. Until you conceive, treat it like a desktop.

Keep ’em safe.
If you play any rough sports (including football, soccer, basketball, hockey, baseball, or horseback riding), wear protective gear to prevent injury to the genitals, which can damage fertility. Even too much bicycling has the potential to cause problems. According to some experts, the constant pressure on the genitals by a bicycle seat may interfere with conception by damaging arteries and nerves. If you experience genital numbness and/or tingling, and changing seats or lifting yourself off the seat periodically as you ride doesn’t help, it would be a good idea to cut down on bicycling during the conception-attempting period. Numb genitals don’t perform as well as they should. If the numbness (and/or tingling) doesn’t go away, see your doctor.

Relax.
Sure, you’ve got a lot on your mind as you contemplate bringing a baby into your lives—and yes, now you have a preconception to-do list to get busy on before you actually get busy on making baby. But don’t forget to take the time to relax, too. Stress doesn’t just affect your libido and performance, it also affects your testosterone levels and your sperm production. The less you worry, the more easily you’ll conceive. So relax and enjoy trying!

M
AYBE YOUR PERIOD’S JUST A
day overdue. Or maybe it’s going on three weeks late. Or maybe your period isn’t even slated to arrive yet, but you’ve got a gut feeling (literally, in your gut) that something’s cooking—like a brand-new bun in your oven. Maybe the only heads-up your body’s given you so far is that missed period. Or maybe you’ve already developed every conceivable symptom of conception. Maybe you’ve been giving baby making everything you’ve got for six months or longer. Or maybe that hot night two weeks ago was your very first contraceptive-free encounter. Or maybe you haven’t been actively trying at all. No matter what the circumstances are that have brought you to this book, you’re bound to be wondering: Am I pregnant? Well, read on to find out.

“A friend of mine said she knew she was pregnant even before she took a pregnancy test. Is there any way to figure out whether or not I’m pregnant that early on?”

The only way to be positively positive that you’re pregnant—at least this early on—is to produce that positive pregnancy test. But that doesn’t mean your body is staying mum on whether you’re about to become a mom. In fact, it may be offering up plenty of conception clues. Though many women never feel any early pregnancy symptoms at all (or don’t feel them until weeks into pregnancy), others get lots of hints that there’s a baby in the making. Experiencing any of these symptoms or noticing any of these signs may be just the excuse you need to run to the store for a home pregnancy test:

Tender breasts and nipples.
You know that tender, achy feeling you get in your breasts before your period arrives? That’s nothing compared to the breast tenderness you might be feeling postconception. Tender, full, swollen, tingly, sensitive, and even painful-to-the-touch breasts are some of the first signs many (but not all) women notice after sperm meets egg. Such tenderness can begin as early as a few days after conception (though it often doesn’t kick in until weeks later), and as your pregnancy progresses, it could get even more pronounced. Make that a lot more pronounced.

Darkening areolas.
Not only might your breasts be tender, but your areolas (the circles around your nipples) may be changing colors. It’s perfectly normal for the areola to darken in hue during pregnancy and even to increase in diameter somewhat in the weeks after conception. You can thank the pregnancy hormones already surging through your body for these and other skin color changes (much more about those hormones in the coming months).