What Love Sounds Like (12 page)

She forced clear words to form. ‘At the rate we’ve been going, one of us will need the Heimlich manoeuvre soon.’

He nodded but still he didn’t release her and still she remained powerless to move. Kade stared at her mouth in a way that unleashed a tide of goose-bumps across her skin. In a way that would make Tilly’s unspoken silly sentence about Kade kissing her come true.

Tilly.

The moment shattered. Reality returned. Mia stepped away. Kade’s fingers slid from her hair.

‘Tilly will be back any second,’ she managed.

‘Yes, she will.’ His abrupt tone barely resembled the worried voice he’d used only minutes earlier.

She pulled out her chair with a shaking hand and sat at the table. Tilly’s racing feet echoed on the kitchen floorboards. She’d never heard such a welcoming sound. And going off the relief that flashed over his face, Kade hadn’t either.

Tilly burst into the room, her small arms full. Kade moved to take the teetering pile and plonked the books and DVDs onto the table. Tilly grabbed a story off the top of the stack and opened it. She pointed to the picture of a golden-haired figure and held the page up for her uncle to see. ‘Sleeping Beauty.’

‘So, she’s another princess?’ Kade looked at the book but his rigid body remained angled toward the doorway.

’Yes.’ Tilly flipped through to a new page. She again lifted the picture for Kade to see. ‘Prince.’

He nodded. Tilly lowered the book and ran her finger beneath a line of words. Then she started to read. ‘The Prince reached the tower. The Princess lay asleep. She looked so beautiful. He bent down and…’

‘How about we stop there?’ Mia interrupted. The spoken and unspoken kiss word had already been said one too many times this morning. ‘We don’t want to spoil the ending for your uncle.’

Tilly’s brow furrowed, then she nodded. Mia waited for Kade to comment on Tilly’s advanced reading skills. But instead he scowled so hard at the picture of the Prince bending to kiss Sleeping Beauty, Mia could have sworn the noses of the little rabbits in the colourful illustration twitched.

She left her chair to come to Tilly’s side. She flicked back a few pages in the book. ‘Look there’s some words we don’t have in our ‘k’ cookie jar. Kitchen. Cook. Maybe you could copy them and put them in the jar?’

‘Otay.’

Tilly sat at the table, making sure she didn’t lose her page and reached for the pencil Kade had been twirling in his fingers.

When she was certain Tilly was engrossed in the task at hand, Mia turned to Kade and spoke in an undertone. ‘Do you have any idea how clever Tilly is?’

‘Can’t all children read?’

‘No. Not many can sound out words at four.’

‘I could.’

Mia examined his impassive expression. It was as though the laughing, relaxed Kade of earlier had been nothing but an illusion. ‘I’ve no doubt you could. Just as there’s also no doubt you and Tilly share the same DNA. Some people believe intelligence has a genetic component.’

A muscle flexed in his set jaw. ‘It’s of no consequence what we share, we’re not alike at all.’

‘You’re far more alike than you think.’

‘Ridiculous.’

She ground her teeth. No matter how many times she battered against it, the wall between Kade and Tilly held firm. ‘Why is it so hard for you to accept that you and Tilly have a connection that goes well beyond guardian and ward?’

‘Sorry to burst your theoretical bubble, but Tilly and I don’t have a
connection
. We don’t have anything in common except our surnames.’

He turned toward the door. Her frayed nerves unravelled. Frustration ignited the ragged ends like a spark to a fuse. There was no way she could allow him to retreat into his tower and continue to lock himself away from his niece. ‘No, you don’t.’

Something in her low voice stopped him. He faced her, his features tight. She stepped toward him. ‘Don’t you dare run away from Tilly again.’

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve already explained that our lives are to remain separate.’ His tone was terse.

‘You know exactly what I’m talking about and keeping your lives separate has nothing to do with wanting what is best for Tilly and everything to do with you.’

An indefinable emotion flickered across his face. ‘My plans for my ward have
nothing
to do with me. I’m just giving her the life my brother would have.’

‘Rubbish. The only life you are giving her is one without love.’

‘Love?’ Kade’s lips barely moved.

‘Yes, love. Tilly needs
you
, Kade. Please spend time with her. Please stop running away.’

‘Upper management do not
run
away.’

Tilly glanced at them, her large eyes curious.

Mia lowered her voice. ‘Then prove it by crossing the bridge between your two worlds.’

‘There is no bridge between our worlds.’

‘Yes, there is. It isn’t only a quick brain you share with your niece.’

‘Surely you’re not suggesting pink is my favourite colour?’

Mia looked for any amusement in his face but his eyes remained glacier cold.

‘No, and neither am I suggesting that you prefer dolls to dividends. What I am saying is that at times intelligence can be a burden not a blessing.’

’I wouldn’t know.’

‘I think you do. Children who think deeply can also feel deeply. They may also emotionally numb themselves to cope with their feelings.’

Kade’s mouth firmed. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about. I cope with my feelings just fine.’

Had she pushed him too far? She looked at Tilly and her lovable little face as she concentrated on copying a word from her book. Colour had returned to her cheeks as grief had lessened its hold upon her, a hold that would return should Kade continue to shut her out of his life.

She needed to push Kade harder. She looked back at him and tilted her chin. ‘Prove it. Switch off your phone, turn off your computer and watch Tilly’s Sleeping Beauty DVD with her tonight. Prove that you don’t run away.’

What was it about Mia that made him accept every challenge she threw his way? She didn’t even need to wave a red flag in his direction before his testosterone short-circuited his common sense. He had nothing to prove. He worked hard and made money, lots of it. In anyone’s eyes he was a success.

Except Mia’s.

So here he sat in the drawing room sharing a sofa with Tilly and a family of teddy bears, determined to prove that he didn’t run away, that he could feel, even if he chose not to. For as long as he could remember he’d known emotions were synonymous with pain. So what if he did do what Mia accused him of, if he did emotionally numb himself. It was the only way he knew how to operate. And, until now, it’d worked perfectly fine. He’d survived losing the brother that he’d loved, not once, but twice and survived being abandoned by both his father and step-mother.

The safe distance he’d left between himself and Tilly vanished as she scooted over to his side, lifted his arm and placed it around her. He’d made sure he remained upright but after half an hour he’d given in to his muscle complaints and settled into the lounge. Tilly had nestled even closer to him and placed a teddy bear on his lap.

It wasn’t only his muscles that had relaxed. Tilly’s infectious giggles, her gasps of excitement and sometimes horror, had drawn him into the animated story that unfolded before him on the television screen. He’d forgotten about how many messages would be accumulating on his voicemail and in his inbox. He’d forgotten about the kiss debacle in the conservatory. Forgotten everything until now when the Prince was just about to kiss Sleeping Beauty.

Kade closed his eyes. He didn’t need any reminder about how close he’d come to kissing Mia. Seeing her vulnerable had stripped him of all power. It didn’t matter if he were Kade Reid, Matchtec CEO, he’d hadn’t been able to stop the coughs stealing her every breath. When she recovered, he should have too. He should have walked away. But he couldn’t. He’d stood there with his hands full of her apple-scented hair and her soft lips within kissing distance. If she hadn’t acted like the professional she was and reminded him of Tilly’s return, he would have kissed her. And he didn’t need the twist of his gut to know the risk in kissing the only woman who’d ever threatened his self-control.

His eyes opened to Sleeping Beauty awakening from her hundred-year sleep. The fairytale kiss was over. Tilly’s small body sighed with happiness. His arm tightened around the warm bundle snuggled beside him. Langford should be proud to call Mia his daughter. She’d achieved so much since her arrival. And it wasn’t only Tilly’s speech she’d helped. He’d have never thought he’d be able to sit next to Tilly, panic-free, and enjoy watching a child’s movie with her. Langford had no idea what he was missing not having Mia in his life.

An uncomfortable truth surfaced. Just the same way he’d miss out if he didn’t have Tilly in his life. There’d be no more messy popcorn. So more tight hugs. No more…love.

He dragged an unsteady hand around the base of his neck. Mia was right. He
was
like Langford. No matter how much he believed he wasn’t or that he was doing the best thing for Tilly by keeping their lives separate. The result would be the same. Tilly wouldn’t be a part of his world, just like Mia wasn’t a part of her father’s.

And he couldn’t allow that to happen. Tilly had filled a void in his soul he didn’t even know existed. He had to heed Mia’s words. He had to walk across the bridge between his and Tilly’s worlds and not look down, no matter what terrors lurked in the shadows. He had to allow himself to feel.

Before his nerve failed, he pressed a quick kiss on top of her blonde head.

‘Love you, Untle Kade.’

Tilly’s large grey eyes looked up at him. The words he’d only ever uttered to his brother and to his grandmother dusted themselves off in his head.

‘Love you too, Tilly.’

Her bright smile told him she hadn’t minded that his voice had been scratchy and stiff. His chest squeezed tight. Not with alarm, but with happiness and victory. Mia had asked him to prove that when it came to Tilly he wouldn’t run away, that he could admit to his feelings. And he had. But he hadn’t just proved it to Mia.

He’d proved it to himself.

THE FAMILIAR woody scent of Kade’s aftershave warned her of his approach even before he appeared through the open kitchen door. Mia glanced up and then wished she’d kept her attention on annihilating the lumps in the cake batter. Just like the cupcakes pictured on the glossy recipe pages beside her, Kade looked good enough to eat. After carrying a sleepy Tilly upstairs, he’d showered. His still-damp hair curled onto the collar of a red polo shirt. He flashed a smile in her direction, then busied himself filling the electric kettle with water.

Had more happened tonight than just a DVD being watched and her wasting time sneaking glances through the drawing room window? The peace relaxing Kade’s face while he’d watched the movie suggested that possibly something had.

Kade came to stand beside her. She stopped stirring and rested the spatula on the side of the bowl. ‘So how was Sleeping Beauty?’ she asked.

‘Enlightening. I learned a lot.’

‘Upper management or not, you need to get out more.’

He chuckled. ‘Maybe I do.’

‘You did a good thing tonight.’ Her eyes searched his. ‘For you and for Tilly.’

‘We’ll see. Time will tell.’

‘I shouldn’t have spoken to you how I did earlier. I’m sorry. You don’t have to prove anything to me.’

‘Apology accepted and if we’re making apologies, I’ve got one as well.’ He paused. ‘Shutting Tilly out of my life did make me like Langford. I’m sorry it took so long to see what you’ve been trying to tell me. From now on Tilly and I won’t be leading separate lives.’

She blinked away the mist blurring her vision and nodded. Something wonderful had indeed happened in the drawing room. The proof was written all over Kade’s earnest face. Her unofficial duty had been completed. Tilly, and Kade, were going to be okay. They now had each other.

Kade cleared his throat and nodded toward the array of bowls lined up before her. ‘What are you making?’

She knew a change of subject when she heard it. ‘I’m making cupcakes. Would you like a spatula?’

‘Spatula?’

‘Yes. Licking a spatula is a childhood rite of passage. What flavour would you like? ‘Chocolate, strawberry, vanilla or…this marble cake one which is a combination of all three?’

His attention stalled on the marble mixture. ‘Thanks to my Lolly Delight ice-cream experience I’m not sure I’m ready for something that has the word ‘marble’ in its name. I’m yet to be reassured you do know how to perform the Heimlich manoeuvre.’

She dipped a clean spatula into the marble cake batter and handed it to him. ‘Trust me. All will be well. After braving Tilly’s DVD, sampling marble cake mixture will be nothing.’

‘True.’ The corner of his mouth lifted. ‘If I can survive princesses, princes and prancing ponies, I can survive anything.’

Warmth crept into her cheeks. She picked up the closest bowl and again mixed the contents with swift strokes. She had to get the cakes they’d need for tomorrow in the oven and then clear out of the kitchen. Without Tilly to focus on, being alone with Kade tripped every alarm on the control board of her self-preservation. It wasn’t just how gorgeous he looked, or smelt. The softer, more human, he became the harder it was to resist the whispers urging her across the personal line. She didn’t know what it was, maybe the loneliness she’d glimpse in his eyes, or his quiet strength and integrity, but she was drawn to him like she’d never been drawn to anyone else. And she couldn’t give in to such a pull. The days of her trusting anyone with her heart were long gone.

‘Are you sure there are no marbles in it?’ He turned the spatula to examine the batter coating it.

She looked up. ‘Absolutely.’

The spatula hovered in front of his mouth. She turned away to place the mixing bowl on the bench. The heat in her face intensified. This was ridiculous. She’d never once found Jack’s mouth so mesmerising.

‘Mmmmm…’ His low, appreciative growl seduced her ears. ‘This is good. I can see why Tilly likes cooking so much.’