What Little Remains (The Fallout Trilogy Book 1) (17 page)

He gives me a kiss on the forehead before packing up his
medical bag and leaving with Nicole. I sit back down at the table, my body
exhausted but my mind still spinning. I don’t know how I’d sleep after
something like today. This house doesn’t feel the same. Nicole cleaned up what
she could of the blood on the floor, but the wood is stained a darker brown
than the rest of the floor around it.

My home was invaded, and my friends were almost killed. The
walls that used to make me so claustrophobic have been broken, and this place
that I helped build is exposed.

“You want to play cards?” Daren asks, going over to the
cabinet and pulling out a deck of cards.

“I didn’t even know those were in here,” I say, welcoming
the distraction.

“They are for when we work,” Daren says, grinning. “I’ll
deal.”

“I think that you should understand something,” Daren says,
leaning back in his chair after throwing his cards down.

“Are you going to explain why you’re so horrible at poker?”
I ask, smiling as he pulls all the cards together to shuffle again.

Daren raises his eyebrows, the normally smooth skin on his
forehead, winkling. “No. I’ve wanted to explain this to you since you found out
that Ricky was scavenging.”

I set the cards down on the table, interested and skeptical.
“What is it that you wanted to explain?”

“Don’t make that face at me,” Daren says, offended.

“What face?”

“The face that says you aren’t going to believe a word that
is about to come out of my mouth.”

“I can’t control how my face looks,” I say, trying to smooth
out my features.

Daren gives me a stern look before continuing. “I want you
to understand that Ricky did start off looking for supplies and helping bring
people back. We usually just came across the aftermath that the scavengers
would leave behind, but the first time that we actually ran into scavengers, it
was bloody. One guy surrendered, and we thought it was over. He said he was
forced to join the group and we believed him. We didn’t know any better. He
waited until we lowered our guard and separated, and then he attacked. He
knocked Jack unconscious and then went for Ricky. The scar that Ricky has
across his chest was from that scavenger.

“He held a knife to Ricky’s throat and promised that he was
going to track down where we came from and kill every single last person that
was there. He went into very graphic detail about how he’d kill anyone who
Ricky loved. I came in at that point, and I saw exactly what happened. He and
Ricky fumbled for the knife; Ricky got the upper hand and slit his throat. The
guy died choking on his own blood. When he stood up, covered in blood, I knew
something had changed. It was after that he started to lose sight of reality.”

After pausing for a second, Daren continues. “When he did
that, I think he managed to convince himself that it was really for you. Every
time he killed, he did it to protect you. As long as no one was left alive they
wouldn’t come after him or you. That was what he managed to convince himself.”

“But he didn’t have to,” I say. “He sought out those fights.
He killed people he didn’t have to. We both know that.”

Daren shrugs. “I agree. He used you to justify his
bloodlust.”

I slump back in my chair, not sure what to think about this
new information.

“I only tell you this so you understand his motivation. In
some way, he truly believes that he has only been protecting you. His fear of
losing you might keep him from scavenging anymore.”

“John said the same thing,” I roll my eyes. “He didn’t
listen to me the first time. Why would he now?”

“Because he almost lost you. That thought terrifies him.
He’s never come that close to losing you before. I have a feeling it gave him
some perspective.”

“Why do you go along with it? Why did you let him get away
with all of this? I know you don’t approve of it. You’ve watched over me all
this time, why didn’t you ever warn me about what was going on?”

Daren lets out a deep sigh. “Charlie, you know that Ricky
and I have a history. I know there are a lot of rumors that have gotten around
about my past. We didn’t meet on probation or anything like that. We met at a
party. We knew of each other, but we hadn’t officially met until that night. I
was with my girlfriend. He and I hit it off. We both had shitty fathers. My dad
had died before I was born and the guy my mom remarried was abusive. Ricky and
I kept in contact; he was one of the few people who understood what I was going
through. On May 25 of last year, my stepfather went after my sister, and I
accidently killed him. I didn’t know what to do. The only thing I could think
of was that my life was going to be over. I was going to be arrested and put in
prison for killing that waste of space. I called Ricky. He came over, no
questions asked. He helped me to dispose of the body. I owe him everything.”

“Daren, that still doesn’t explain you standing by and
watching this happen,” I say, trying to swallow all of this new information.
“Or why you didn’t tell me about the scavenging.”

“Ricky was already on probation when I asked him to help me.
Even helping clean up after would have put him in prison for sure. The local
sheriff noticed my stepfather’s disappearance and started poking around. He
even brought Ricky in for questioning. Ricky didn’t break. He was loyal to me.
I couldn’t forget that. I owe him everything,” Daren says. “And I didn’t tell
you what was happening in the beginning because you couldn’t handle it. With
what you were going through, I figured that he would be able to manipulate you
to see what he was doing was right.

“There’s no way I ever would have thought that,” I
interrupt. “Never. What he is doing is monstrous.”

“You forget that I was here when you went through your
depression. Charlie, you were a zombie. You’ve seen how convincing Ricky can
be. In the darkness that you were in, I don’t think you would have been able to
see it clearly with whatever spin he put on it.”

“Aren’t you afraid of that happening now?”

“No,” he says. “I’m not. He can’t manipulate you because you
see that part of him now. You see his darkness for what it is.”

I pause for a minute, thinking about all of this new
information.

“Why do you let him get away with his behavior towards me?”

Daren sighs, shifting in his seat. “I do what I can to keep
him from getting physical with you. At first, I didn’t see how bad it was. You
were so out of it that I thought all of the control he had over your life was
necessary for you to stay alive. You wouldn’t eat without him telling you to.
You barely slept without him there. I didn’t know who you were before the
storms, and I didn’t really start to see you as your own person until Nicole
came. And that is when I started to really see the abusive side of Ricky.
Please understand, Charlie that I do what I can to minimize what you have to go
through. I know he’s gotten rough with you, and I can’t even tell you how
ashamed I was that I stood behind him after that. I will continue to do what I
can to help you, but the loyalty that I owe Ricky isn’t something I can
ignore.”

“You know him better than anyone. Do you think that he is
actually capable of changing?” I ask.

“The one thing that has never changed during this time is
his fear of losing you. He needs your love. He needs you. I have hope that you
can help him to find who he was, who we both hope that he can be. You know as
well as I do that we need him. We need the guy that you and I both see to lead
us through.”

Daren stayed up a little longer after that before he finally
fell asleep. I started playing solitaire to kill time. It’s hard to process
everything that he just told me. I don’t know how to process it. Ricky didn’t
start out killing people; he was pushed to get to that point. Daren, knowing
him better than anyone else, seems to think that Ricky can change. I’ve always
been optimistic when it comes to people changing. I’ve always believed in the
best of people, even when they don’t deserve it, even when I know they won’t
change their ways.

At the same time, there is this thought in the back of my
head. Before Jackson, I had never had an encounter with a scavenger. I heard
stories, but I didn’t really understand until I went through it. I didn’t
understand the pain of seeing my loved ones intentionally hurt, the anger at
someone defiling my home or the shame that I couldn’t do more to protect it.
After feeling that and knowing that Ricky caused people to feel that way, it is
a gray area that I never thought I’d have to deal with.

I need a metal break.
Too many heavy
thoughts for this early in the morning.
I stand slowly, using the table
to get to my feet. I tread slowly to the door. Sunlight spills in from
underneath the doorway, and after the longest night of my life, I want to feel
the sunlight on my skin.

I keep my eyes on Daren as I open the door. I know he wants
me to stay close to him until Ricky’s better, but I want to feel the sunlight
on my skin, and he needs his sleep.

With my eyes on Daren, I back outside, shutting the door as
quietly as I can. I take a step back and hit someone.

“I’m sorry,” I apologize, turning to see
who
I nearly ran over.

Jack smiles down at me, a knowing look in his eyes. “Going
somewhere?”

“Just for a walk,” I say, trying to sidestep around him.

He blocks my way, crossing his arms. His bow is slung over
his shoulder and dark circles are under his eyes.

“Ricky told Daren not to let you out of his sight. I don’t
see Daren. If I don’t see him, he can’t see you,” Jack says.

I roll my eyes, crossing my arms. “Probably not. But I am
perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”

“Oh, is that why you look like you are someone’s punching
bag?” Jack asks, raising his eyebrows.

“You don’t look so hot yourself,” I say.

I have no idea what I look like. I can imagine though, but
I’m sure it’s worse than I think. I feel like hell. The only thing that I want
to do is sleep. Pain radiates from the ends of my hair to my toenails. Every
time I move, the muscles in my stomach protest, sending pain shooting to my
spine. The fracture in my left hand hurts horribly. I’m never going to punch
someone again; it’s only kicking and stabbing for me.

Even though I’m in bad shape, my injuries aren’t as severe
as others. Two people got shot. The men got the worst of the treatment. They
were beaten and broken. No one is as badly beaten as Ricky is, but it was still
serious enough that John planned to work most of the night. I told him that my
pain was manageable, and it was then. Now it’s almost unbearable.

The door opens behind me, and I don’t need to look to guess
who it is.

Charlie, I swear on my mother’s grave that if you leave my
sight again, I will tie you to a chair and never let you leave,” Daren says,
the anger radiates in his voice, but his words resurface painful memories.

“Someone already tried that,” I say, my chances of enjoying
the sunlight now officially gone. I turn to face him.
He’s
standing in my doorway
,
the sleepiness is gone
.
“I stabbed him in the leg, and Ricky put a bullet through his brain.”

Daren sighs and moves aside. I go back into the cabin and
sit in the chair that I vacated less than two minutes ago. I rest my head on my
arms, sighing deeply.

A groan comes from my room, and I lift my head up, alarmed,
and look at Daren. He meets my eyes but gestures for me to stay sitting. Jack
comes in, closing the door behind him. They both go into my room. Jack closes
the door behind him.

I get up, walking over to the door. Muffled conversation is
the only thing that I can hear. John should be here soon to give Ricky more
pain medication. I can’t even imagine the pain that Ricky’s in.

The door opens behind me, and I glance to see John walking
in, his nose in his medical bag. He glances up to meet my eyes and they widen
in shock.

“I look that bad, huh?” I ask, turning back to the door.

John doesn’t answer but places a heavy hand on my shoulder.
“You’ve had a rough couple of days. You look like you could use some sleep?”

“Don’t tease me.” I turn to face him, his hand falling off
my shoulder. “I haven’t slept in over twenty-four hours. Tease me, and I’ll
have Daren beat you. I would do it myself, but I’d probably break my hand
again.”

He gives me a half smile, his deep blue eyes kindly
twinkling at me. “You can sleep. I think you should eat first. I’ll take you
after I check in on Ricky.”

I nod my head, not wanting to miss this opportunity to leave
the house. John moves past me to open the door. I follow him in, the
conversation falling to a stop when the door opens.

Ricky is propped up on my bed, his shirt gone. His stomach
is wrapped in an ace bandage similar to mine. Both of his hands are propped up
on pillows, seven out of ten fingers in splints. The only things recognizable
about his face are his eyes and the stubborn set of his jaw. When he sees me,
he tries to smile, but pain fills his eyes.

“Hey,” he says, shifting in bed. “How are you doing?”

“Compared to you, I’m fine,” I say, walking over. Daren
moves so I can sit on the bed next to Ricky. Being this close, I can see the
slightly hazed look in his eyes that are normally so aware. “It looks like it
hurts to breathe.”

He makes a distasteful noise. “I’ll be good as new as soon
as John stops trying to drug me.”

“The drugs are for your own good,” John says, setting his
bag down at the end of the bed.

“So, Doc, am I going to make it?” Ricky asks,
shifting again, a layer of sweat forms on his skin. There is a greenish tint to
the paleness of his skin.
 

“You’re not going to die, unless I kill you
myself,” John says. I get up so he can examine Ricky. As John pokes around on
Ricky’s stomach, Ricky tries to hide the pain. He looks at the ceiling, his
eyes glazing over as he clenches his teeth.