What Lies Beneath: Romantic Suspense (5 page)

9

I spent an hour in the shower letting the hot water wash over me. I went over the events of that night again and again in my head. No matter how I tried to piece it all together, it made no sense.

I was not on the bridge the night of my husband’s death and I certainly was not responsible for what happened to him. I had doubts about my memories, but I knew with every fiber of my being that I had not killed my husband.

I stepped out of the shower feeling a little better. I glanced at the clock. It was three AM. I had to get up in a couple hours to get Aiden ready for school. I figured that I probably wouldn’t sleep, but I laid down on my bed anyway. I pulled Tom’s old pillow over to me and wrapped my arms around it. I hadn’t washed it since his death. It still faintly smelled of him.

I closed my eyes and tried to remember the last time we’d held each other in bed. My mind went blank. It was troubling. More and more memories were slipping away from me.

I tried to clear my head and focus on the pillow’s scent. I imagined Tom in his art room, finishing up a big project. The thought gave me a moment’s peace. Before long, I’d drifted off to sleep.

I woke to a blaring alarm. For a fraction of a second, I’d forgotten all about the previous night. Then my knee started to throb with a dull ache. The events of last night came flooding back to me along with the woman’s words: “You never remember.”

But today I did; I remembered everything.

A rush of excitement overcame me. It felt like progress, but what was I getting closer to? I jumped out of a bed with a renewed sense of energy. I was frightened, but eager to learn more about what happened that night. Once I learned the truth, maybe I could finally move on for good.

I stood up and promptly fell back down on the bed. My knee was swollen and red; I couldn’t put any weight on it. I touched it gently. Pain shot through my knee. I winced and let out a little scream. I needed a doctor.

There was a loud pounding on my bedroom door.

“Mommy? I’m hungry.”

“Just a second.”

I tried to stand again, but it was impossible. I couldn’t put any weight on my right leg.

“There’s cereal on the table,” I called. “You can pour a bowl yourself, like a big boy.”

“Okay,” he replied excitedly.

Aiden relished the chance to make his own meals. He loved pouring cereal in the bowl and covering it with sugar.

I massaged my leg and hoped the pain would subside. There was no way I’d be able to get Aiden to school today. I picked up my cell phone and tried to think of who to call. I wasn’t close with any of the other mothers.

I scrolled through my Contacts list. I ruled out Maddie. I didn’t want to ask her take Aiden to school. I wouldn’t put it past her to grill Aiden about my life. I didn’t want him answering embarrassing awkward questions about his mother.

Theo’s number was still on my phone. He was good with kids and Aiden liked him. Could I ask him, though? After the way I’d blown up on him, I wasn’t sure.

The hell with it, I thought. He was my only option. If he said no, I’d just keep Aiden home for the day.

I dialed his number. The phone rang and rang. It was about to go to voice mail when Theo answered.

“Hello?” He sounded distracted.

“Hi, Theo. It’s Sabine.”

“Sabine, I’m surprised to hear from you. Is everything okay?”

I heard the sound of Mrs. Devereaux in the background.

“You’ll look like common trash,” she was saying.

“But Mom…” Bella protested.

“You are not wearing rainbow tights with a polka dot skirt and a ballet top to school.”

At the sound of her voice, I almost hung up the phone.

“Sabine? Are you still there?” Theo asked.

“Yeah, sorry. Everything’s fine. Well, actually, that’s not true.”

The arguing voices in the background faded away. I heard the sound of a door closing. Theo must have moved into another room so we could talk in private.

“What happened?” he asked, sounding mildly alarmed.

“Nothing. I just slipped and fell. I landed right on my knee and it’s swollen. I can’t really walk on it. It’s no big deal. I was just wondering if you could pick up Aiden on your way to school and drop him off with Bella? If it’s not too much trouble. It sounds like you’re busy over there.”

“Of course I can take him to school. It’s no trouble. I’m just trying to get Bella ready for school. Her mother’s not that helpful.”

“I can imagine.”

“Are you okay?” he asked again.

“I’m fine.”

I tried to laugh it off, but I could tell he wasn’t buying it.

“I’ll be right over,” he said.

“Great.”

Aiden knocked on my door again.

“Come in,” I called.

He skipped into the room, fidgeting and jumping. I could tell he’d had his fill of sugar for the day. I felt guilty sending him to school like this. He was a handful when he wasn’t loaded with sugar. He was practically bouncing off the walls now. Aiden stopped in his tracks.

“Mommy, your leg,” he said with awe.

“I know. Mommy got a little ouchie that’s all.”

He stared at me with wide eyes.

“I’ve got good news though,” I added. “You’re going to school with Bella and Theo today.”

He brightened up at the mention of their names.

“I thought that would make you happy.”

He nodded vigorously and jumped in a circle. I shuddered to think how much sugar he’d poured on top of his cereal. His teacher was going to kill me.

“Go get dressed.”

“I am dressed.”

He was wearing dinosaur pajamas.

“I don’t think so. Put on something that’s appropriate for school.”

“Mom this is appro- approz-”

“No it’s not. Now go get dressed.” I pushed him towards the door. “And don’t forget a jacket. It’s cold and wet out.”

“Okay,” he called.

I stared down at my throbbing knee. How was I going to get to the doctor? I refused to call Maddie. I did not want to be interrogated by her. Madly, I considered calling the woman who’d helped me last night. She was tough, but I could tell she cared in her own way. She’d helped me before, after all.

No, it was ridiculous. Besides, I didn’t even know her name. How would I get in touch with her? I would have to call a cab, or maybe see if I could manage to drive myself. There was a knock at the door.

“I’ll get it,” Aiden screamed.

I caught a glimpse of him as he ran past my door. I was relieved to see he was wearing his raincoat and jeans. I heard the sound of him talking to Bella. Theo asked where I was.

“Back here!” I called.

Theo came into the room with Aiden and Bella in tow. When he saw my leg, he dropped to his knees before me to examine it. He touched my thigh, squeezing it. I jumped. It was painful, but there was something else hiding beneath the pain. It had been a long time since a man touched me.

A small shiver of excitement passed over me. I was suddenly very aware of the fact that I was wearing nothing but a robe. I tightened it around me and cleared my throat.

“It looks worse than it is,” I said.

“How’d you do that?” Bella asked. For a second, I’d forgotten the kids were in the room.

“I slipped on the patio steps,” I lied.

“How?” she asked.

“They were wet.”

“Why were they wet?”

“There was a storm,” Aiden offered. “Mommy was gone.”

I shot him a sharp look. How did he know I was gone last night? Did I wake him up when I was sleepwalking?

“There was thunder. I got scared,” he said. “I came to your room but you were gone.”

Theo was watching me very closely.

“I stepped outside for a second. That’s all,” I offered lamely.

The kids were satisfied by my weak excuse, but I could tell Theo wasn’t buying it.

“You’re going to be late for school,” I said, trying to get them out of the house.

Theo checked his watch and frowned. “Go get in the car,” he said to the kids. They took off running. “Don’t move,” he said to me. “I’ll be back in a flash. I’m taking you to the doctor.”

I opened my mouth to protest.

“No arguments,” he said. “I think your knee is broken. You need to see a doctor. I’ll be right back. Don’t put any weight on it while I’m gone.”

I nodded my assent. Once he was gone I laid back down. I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the window. My hair was a wild mess of curls and I had circles under my eyes. I looked terrible.

I tried to straighten my hair by running my fingers through it, but only succeeded in adding more volume to the curls. I looked like Medusa. I gave up and threw myself down on the bed. I watched the time on the alarm clock tick by for a few seconds then found myself drifting off to sleep. A few minutes later a hand was gently shaking me awake.

“Sabine?” Theo said.

I rubbed my face. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to fall back asleep.”

“You don’t have to apologize.”

“Was Theo a handful?”

“No more than Bella,” he replied.

I sat up carefully. My robe hung big and loose on me. If I moved too quickly it would come loose and Theo would know I was wearing nothing underneath.

“Do you need help getting dressed?” he asked.

“Um…” I looked away shyly.

“I mean, I could get your clothes for you. I wouldn’t…”

He looked down at me and ran his hand through his hair. Seeing him nervous made me smile. Theo was always so self-possessed and confident. He was thrown off his game now.

“There are jeans and a sweater hanging up in the closet,” I said pointing.

Grateful for something to do, Theo walked into my closet.

“Which ones?”

“Any. It doesn’t matter.”

He returned shortly with a low-cut, tight black sweater and skinny jeans. Leave it to a guy to pick out the most revealing outfit.

“What about…?”

“What?” I asked.

“Do you need underwear, bra?”

“Oh.”

We were two adults; this shouldn’t have been an embarrassing conversation. The fact that it was, proved what I didn’t want to acknowledge: I liked Theo. Despite the way I’d blown up on him like a lunatic, I still liked him. If I was ever going to move on with my life, I had to learn how to stop sabotaging myself by pushing people away.

“In the top drawer,” I said, pointing to the nightstand.

He went to it, opening the drawer slowly. He pulled out a pair of black, high-cut barely-there underwear and a matching bra. He grabbed them quickly, as if he simply grabbed whatever was on top, but I couldn’t help wondering if he’d selected those on purpose. I hadn’t worn sexy lingerie in ages. They were pushed to the bottom of my drawer.

I didn’t protest though. For the first time in a long time, the thought of wearing sexy underwear for a man excited me. I had to remind myself that Theo was just taking me to the doctor.

“All set?” he asked.

“Yeah. That’ll do. Thanks.”

“I’ll let you get dressed. If you need any help just yell. I’ll be in the living room.”

He left the bedroom door open a crack. I listened to the sound of his footsteps as he walked into the living room to wait. I pulled off my robe and took my time getting dressed. I’m not sure why. A distant part of me wanted Theo to dress me. It would have been nice to have a man take care of me for a change.

Last night had really done a number on my head. I’d woken up feeling invigorated in a way I haven’t been since before Tom’s death. I needed to get a grip.

I pulled on my underwear then started to slide on my jeans. I stopped when I got to my knee. It was too swollen; the jeans wouldn’t go any higher. I set them aside and cleared my throat.

“Theo?” I called.

“Yeah?” he said from far off in the house.

“Could you, um, help me?” My face burned hot.

“Sure.”

In a flash, he was in my room.

“What do you need?” he asked. He was careful to keep his eyes on mine. I sensed he didn’t want me to think he was checking me out.

“My knee’s too swollen. The jeans won’t go on. Could you bring me the yoga pants that are in the bottom drawer of the dresser?”

He went to the dresser and returned with them promptly.

“Do you need help?”

I hesitated. I didn’t need help putting them on, but I couldn’t help nodding my head yes. Theo kneeled before me. Gently, he took my injured leg and slid on my pants. His hands brushed my calf, then my thighs. I rose up, leaning my body towards him as he pulled my pants up to my waist.

There was no hiding it now; his eyes were definitely on my legs and underwear. A moment of awkward silence passed between us before he finally said: “I’ll get your shoes.”