What is Love? (47 page)

“What did Leo say?”

“He got on it right
away and had the files rushed to his office already. He’s going to arrange for
her to see another doctor, hopefully tomorrow or the next day. One of us should
stay with her and watch what they give her, just in case. They might be putting
it in her food or her IV bag, maybe even her pills. She has so much poison in
her, any more might finish her.”

“I’ll go. I’ll also
make certain she doesn’t try to hurt herself.” Ellen said. “I would sure hate
to find out Jonathan had his lawyer’s block our request, making it impossible
to get her out. I wish we could get her out of there tonight.”

“How? It’s locked
up.”

“No idea, just a
thought.”

“Make sure you give
Mother some garlic cloves or garlic extract. It will help flush out some of the
arsenic. Beth is a medic and trained naturopath. She can help her to get better
when she’s out.”

“I hope it’s soon
enough.”

Ellen hung up and
knew who to call for help.

***

Ellen and Rory
arrived at the hospital with a large bouquet of flowers, the largest bouquet
they could find. Sam was lying in bed, asleep, when they walked in together.
Ellen set the bouquet on the desk and sat in a chair next to the bed. Rory
gently touched Sam’s shoulder, shaking her lightly until she awoke.

“Rory
 …”
she whispered, in a fragile voice.

“Hey beautiful, I
brought a friend and some flowers.”

Sam didn’t respond.
Her face looked pale and chalky and with more small sores on her cheeks and
forehead. Rory held her hand. “We have a plan, a very good plan, and we will
take care of everything. We need you to drink this.”

Sam shook her head
and covered her face with her hand.

“Sam, I’m not
asking, I’m telling you, this is important.”

Sam opened her eyes
and looked at Rory. “Leave me alone
 …”

“No, Sam, I can’t do
that. I need you and I need you well. You have been poisoned and this will
start helping. It’s garlic and charcoal to help get the arsenic out of your
body.”

Sam’s face grimaced.
“Arsenic? That’s rat poison.” She tried to sit. “Those friggin losers are
giving me rat poison?”

“You were right all
along. Ellen here even went to see Bob, told him the gig was up.”

Sam looked at Ellen.
“I bet that was fun.”

Ellen smiled. “Yes,
he’s quite
 …
amusing.”

Sam shook her head,
a disbelieving side-to-side motion. “I can’t believe it. I knew it.”

“Do you still want
to lie here and die,” Rory asked, reaching for her hand. “Or do you want to
fight back, show them?”

Sam lay in silence
for several moments, as if weighing her options. “Those
 …
scum bags actually thought they could kill me—me!” Her
feeble voice held more energy than before, but was still barely more than a
whisper. “Unbelievable. I’m pissed is what I am
 …
I just wish I had the energy to show it.”

“We have a plan to
get you out of here, but first you need to drink this
 …”

Rory laid out the
plan and Sam sipped the grey liquid, making faces the entire time. Ellen sat
patiently as Rory convinced Sam to go along with their plan. After ten minutes,
they agreed to try. Rory went to get a wheelchair and Ellen got Sam cleaned up.

“Why are you doing
this?” Sam finally asked.

“Because I don’t
want you to die.”

“Are you afraid if I
do, then we won’t switch back, is that it? I’m not afraid to die—”

“Quite the contrary,
I need you to switch.”

“That’s a bunch of
bull.”

“Here we are,” Rory
arrived with the wheelchair. He pulled the IV out of her arm and lifted Sam out
of bed, then asked her to stand for a moment. “Can you walk at all?”

Sam struggled to
move her feet as she leaned against Rory for support.

Ellen came over to
the other side and supported Sam as she slid her feet along. “That’s great.
Keep going.”

“Uggg,” Sam cried
out in pain. “This is impossible.”

“Samantha Miller,
I’ve never seen you quit at anything before. You always have to beat everyone
in everything. The first to the top, no matter how tired you are, and the last
to quit.”

“Rory, in case you
hadn’t noticed, I’m not a spring chicken anymore.” Sam panted, as they propped
her up against the wall. “I am tired. This won’t work. It’s a stupid plan,
anyway.”

Rory put his arms
around Sam and held her. “I wish I could give you some of my strength. I wish I
could help you, but I can’t. You have to do this, Sam. You have to. I need
you.” He released her from his grip and carefully set her into a chair.

“Oh my God,” Sam
cried out, clutching her stomach. “That charcoal crap I drank.” She leaned
forward and Rory quickly grabbed a garbage can, just as Sam leaned over and
vomited.

When she finished
heaving, she sat upright, her lips coated with black, giving her a ghoulish
look. Ellen went to find a wet cloth from the washroom. Rory took the bucket
away as Ellen leaned over and gently wiped her face and lips. “Want some
water?”

Ellen handed Sam a
water bottle. Sam took a sip and rinsed her mouth, ready to spit. She leaned
against the armrest and tried to stand on her own, using her good arm as the
arm in the cast was still unsupportive. Ellen came to her side and together
they walked toward the sink. Sam leaned over and spit as Ellen held her.

“Well done,” Rory
said when he emerged from the washroom. “Already standing.”

“Not for long,” Sam
said and collapsed against him. He helped her back to her chair.

Ellen spent a few
more minutes getting Sam ready and going over the details of the plan.

“Have you two
geniuses thought about what will happen if I get out? How pissed off Johnny
will be?”

“He’ll be happy
you’re alive,” Ellen said.

“Don’t be so sure,”
Sam said. “I think he’d be happiest of all if I croaked.”

Ellen shook her
head. “That doesn’t say much for me and my taste in men, now does it?”

Sam looked away. “He
did love you, once
 …
I’m sure of
it. And I also thought he was great.” Sam turned to Ellen. “Johnny’s really
going to be pissed at you, might never forgive you. You okay with that?”

“Don’t the nurses
check on you?” Ellen asked, looking up at the wall clock.

“They’re supposed
to, every twenty minutes. But
Dallas
is on right now and they talked all
day about whether J.R. will discover Sue-Ellen hired the private eye. Believe
me, they’ll be a while.”

They loaded Sam into
the wheelchair and put together the items they needed. Finally one of the
nurses arrived to see
Mrs. Horvath
sitting in a black sweater and pants
and wearing a black hat.

“Mrs. Horvath. Just
where do you think you’re going?”

“My younger sister
died,” Sam said, trying to sound serious. “I am so upset. I need to go down to
the chapel and say my prayers. I just can’t believe she’s gone, so young
 …
and all those little children
 …
It breaks my
 …”
Mrs. Horvath
appeared overtaken with tears,
heaving in sobs.

The nurse had tears
as well. “I’m so sorry. Yes, of course. I can’t take you now, I have rounds to
finish, but—”

“We can take her. We
want to leave these flowers in the chapel so
 …
Mrs. Horvath can come, pay her respects and pray every day.”

“Oh yes,” the nurse
said. “The pass code is one-five-six-two.”

“Thank you, you
don’t know what this means to me.” Sam’s heart-wrenching act was priceless. She
had obviously perfected it over the years.

“Here, the IV has to
go with her
 …”
The nurse went
over to the IV and wheeled it over, then reinserted it into her hand. “There
 …
now you must be back before nine
o’clock lockdown.”

They agreed and
wheeled away, toward the elevator. When the elevator arrived, they punched in
the code and the doors opened. As they rode down the elevator, Rory rested his
hand on Sam’s shoulder.

Sam dabbed her eyes
in mock sadness, playing along for the cameras.

Once out of the elevator,
they passed another nursing station filled with the sounds of
Dallas
.
The huge bouquet of flowers rested on Sam’s lap.

“Sorry to hear the
sad news,” the nurse behind the desk said as she buzzed the door open.

“Yes, so tragic
 …
so young
 …
and
 …”
The
waterworks came on again and
Mrs. Horvath
let out heartwrenching wails.
The nurse grabbed a tissue and wiped the corners of her eyes.

As they entered the
small chapel, Sam started to giggle. “Oh my God,” she said, as Ellen shut the
door behind them. “I thought for sure I was gonna lose it and burst into
laughter.”

“You were amazing,”
Ellen said as she took the hat off of Sam. “Like a true actress.”

“Yeah, so long as
those tears aren’t used against you,” Rory added as he removed the IV. Sam
grinned at him, sharing in his private joke.

Ellen began removing
her clothes and handed them to Rory. He helped Sam out of her clothes and
within a few minutes, Ellen was wearing the black sweater and pants, with her
long hair tucked neatly under the hat. She opened the hanky, covering her
hands, and held it up to block her face.

“Think you can cry
like me?”

Ellen let out a cry.
“Nooo
 …
oh, nooo. Whyyyyy?”

Rory and Sam
laughed. “Perfect. Remember to hunch over so they can’t see your face.”

Ellen took several
towels from her bag and stuffed the black sweater to fill out the arms and
body. “I look lumpy.”

Sam smoothed the
lumps in her sleeves. “You look great. Just a bit thin in the legs.”

“They’ll never
notice. I’ll wheel you past them at high-speed.”

“I think I should stay
here and wail,” Ellen said. “You can take her out to the car as if she’s crying
and falling apart as well, then pretend to come back for me.”

“I will come back
for you.”

“No, take Sam to the
address I gave you. If I stay in here and wail, they won’t check for a while.”
Ellen gave another wail for effect.

“What if you can’t
leave? What if they figure out about the switch?”

“I’ll be fine. They
can’t keep me here. I’m
not
a patient. You just make sure she’s out.”

“Okay. Ready?” He
looked over at Sam, sitting in Ellen’s pants and coat. She put the long brown
wig on her head, pulling the bangs over her eyes. “You have to be wailing with
grief as I take you away.”

“No problem. Too bad
these shoes are small.”

“I’ll be dragging
you, hopefully they won’t notice.”

They looked at each
other and said goodbye. Ellen squeezed Sam’s hand. “Brianna will take care of
you tonight.”

“Thanks,” Sam said
and then broke into her fake cries.

Ellen sat waiting
and wailing as she heard their voices moving out into the distance. She heard
the cry move farther and farther away. Ellen continued her cries for several
minutes, resting on occasion. At one point she noticed a head peek into the
room, but then it was gone.

After fifteen
minutes of crying, Ellen quietly changed and put everything into a bag and
pushed the wheelchair into the closet. As she closed the door to the closet, a
nurse appeared.

“And where is Mrs.
Horvath?”

Sam lay back on
Brianna’s comfy sofa, receiving remedies administered by Brianna’s girlfriend,
Beth. Rory sat back, watching TV, as the two women went to work on Sam, or as
they liked to refer to her,
Mother
. “I can’t believe the stuff you had
to put up with from Dad,” Brianna said as she massaged Sam’s shoulders.

“I can’t either,
what an asshole,” Sam said.

Brianna and Beth
looked at each other. “What will you do now?”

Sam shrugged. “I
can’t go back to that house. I don’t want to be locked up again, that’s for
sure. And he
 …”
Sam pointed to
Rory, “thinks he loves me, that we should be together.”

“What? Mother?”
Brianna shrieked, grabbing Sam’s hands. “That’s amazing.”

“What’s amazing is
that he thinks it would work. I’m old and he’s not. He’s beautiful and I’m
 …
look at him and look at me, there’s
no way.”

“I think if you love
each other—”

“What do you
honestly think people would say?”

“Good for you?”

“No, they’ll say
he’ll dump me the moment he meets some young hot babe, then they’ll laugh even
harder at how stupid I was for thinking it could work.”

“Mother, why is it
so wrong for you to have a young boyfriend when Dad has had young girls all
along? I don’t understand.”

“Because everyone
knows the young girl isn’t attracted to the man, she’s attracted to his money
and power. Rory,” Sam called out. “Are you after my money?”

Rory got up from the
couch and came over to Sam. “If I can love you when you’re a bitch, why not
when you’re a rich bitch?”

Sam slapped him in
the stomach. He leaned over her and said, “I’ve loved you for so long I think
you know the answer
 …
I love who
you are inside this body—the fun, flirt with a sense of adventure and
competitiveness, a hunger for life and risk. The person I feel good to be near,
always.” He kissed her hand. “I don’t care what kind of package you come in,
you are beautiful as you are. I look at you and see love. I admit, I enjoyed
the young you, the sexy you, but if that was all that matters, if that was all
I needed, I would have been able to replace you years ago. I couldn’t. Believe
me, I’ve tried. I’ve been with more girls trying to forget you, but I can’t.”

“You have been
busy.” Sam smiled at him. He reached up and touched her cheek.

“I love you,” he
continued. “No one makes me feel the way you do. I can’t explain it, except to
say I love the you that laughs at stupid jokes and cries at sad commercials. I
love the you that loves horses and kittens, and stray animals. I love the you
that can be reckless and exhilarating and sloshes around in rubber boots in
muddy fields or eats dessert before dinner. The crazy you who dances on
speakers till four a.m. and then goes for pancakes. And the you that refuses to
ever quit. That’s who I love, not a 36-26-36 or whatever you were. Love is a
connection of two hearts, not two bodies.”

Brianna had tears in
her eyes. She looked at Beth, then back to Rory. “Are you sure you’re talking
about my mother?”

Rory winked at
Brianna. “There’s a lot you don’t know about your old Mom here.” He tugged on
Sam’s hand affectionately. “She’s an amazing person. I think she’s been stuck
trying to be someone she’s not all these years and now, for the first time in a
long time, she sees it.”

“I can’t believe all
this time you’ve
 …
what will Dad
say? Does he know?”

“Who cares? I am way
past caring. That asshole can go rot for all I care.”

Brianna looked at
her mother, her face twisted with shock. “I’m proud of you
 …
and it’s good to see you happy.
It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you so happy.”

“I’ll be a lot
happier when I get my strength back and I know I’m legally free from that
dreadful place and that dreadful man.”

The doorbell chimed.
Beth rose to see who would be at their door at midnight. Ellen walked into the
room. “Sam?” Brianna said, somewhat startled.

“Hello,
Sam
!”
Sam called out, her voice thick with sarcasm.

“Why hello,
Ellen
,”
Ellen said smiling.

“We wondered what
happened to you,” Rory added. “You all right?”

Ellen opened her
jacket and sat on the edge of the footstool. “Bit of a sticky mess, but I
managed to get out of it.” Ellen relayed her awkward time trying to explain why
Mrs. Horvath wasn’t with her and that this was a huge error on their part and
someone would be sued. After two hours of waiting in a locked room, she
eventually spoke to a manager who contacted Leo Maxfield for the legal explanation.
Then finally, after much negotiating, they were willing to let her go. “Bit of
a fuss over losing a patient,” she said. She took her jacket off and sat back.
“I think they thought they could throw me in jail. I panicked a bit. Since my
visit with Bob, I’m not sure which is worse, prison or that dreadful place.”

“It wasn’t
that
bad,” Sam said.

“Not that bad, says
the woman wanting to die in there.” Rory laughed as he tickled her.

Sam rolled her eyes.
“Yeah, it sucked. I do have
some
fond memories
 …”

“Sure you do!” Rory
slapped her hand.

Ellen watched as
Brianna smiled at her
mother
. She caught Ellen’s eyes and smiled. “Thank
you, Sam.” Brianna said. “I don’t know if ‘thank you’ will ever be enough for saving
my mother’s life and getting her out of there.”

Ellen cleared her
throat and rubbed her hands along her thighs. “Well, I am to blame for her
being in there in the first place.”

“No, that was all
Dad,” Brianna said. “You were very unselfish. I didn’t expect it.”

“I put myself in her
position and did what I would want done to me.”

“Too bad you didn’t
have that change of heart a few months ago,” Sam said with a grin.

“A few months ago, I
hardly felt sorry for you.”

“Yeah,” Sam said. “I
really hated you, too. It’s easy to hate someone you don’t know.”

“And easy to hate
someone you love, especially when they’ve hurt you,” Brianna added.

Ellen looked at
Brianna, wondering if she was referring to their mother-daughter relationship.

The phone rang and
Beth jumped up to answer it. “Brianna, it’s Patty.”

Ellen looked at
Brianna. “Did you ask her for the stuff?”

“No, I left a
message for her to call me, she’s been away.”

Ellen turned to Sam.
“I need a favor. Ask her about the prescriptions she picked up for me
 …
er, you, before the coma. She’ll
remember. Ask her to get more of them
 …
there were two kinds. It’s very important. Tell her you have to have
them.”

Beth handed the
phone to Sam. Everyone watched, waiting in silence, as Sam spoke into the phone
and listened for several minutes, nodding and then handed the phone back to
Beth and said, “Tell her the address here.”

Beth took the phone
and went into the other room, relaying the address.

“She wants to come
by and see me,” Sam said. “She’s been away for the past month and apparently Johnny
blocked her from visiting me or having any contact since my letter incident. I
think she feels bad about something; she insisted on seeing me. No explanation
except that the doctor you wanted has disappeared and is no longer practicing,
something about legal troubles with the review boards. No one knows where he
is.”

“Oh, no,” Ellen
cried, collapsing into the chair. “That ruins any chance of fixing this
 …
of returning
 …”
Ellen looked at Sam. “I’m so sorry. I was hoping we
could
 …”

“What were the
prescriptions for?” Brianna asked.

“You wouldn’t
believe it—no one would,” Ellen said, leaning back into the chair.

“I would,” Rory
called out from the kitchen.

“So try me,” Brianna
said.

Ellen looked at Sam,
who shrugged and said, “She might as well know.”

“Know what?” Brianna
asked.

Ellen was about to
explain when Sam started choking. Beth and Brianna ran toward her and grabbed a
bucket. Sam dry heaved a few times and then vomited. Ellen sat back and watched
as the nurturing couple took care of their patient. It was fascinating to
witness her daughter caring for the person she thought was her mother. Ellen
had never seen this compassion. Perhaps she was too busy trying to take care of
everyone else she hadn’t allowed herself to see her children for who they
really were. And to see her with Beth, she looked happy and relaxed around her.
Why shouldn’t she be happy. Who was Ellen to dictate what choices her daughter
made? Had anyone interfered with Ellen’s choices?

Ellen looked around
the small apartment filled with oriental rugs and sculptures. The walls were
painted a deep plum color and the furniture was all rattan and cushions. The
fabrics were patterned silks that gave the impression of sitting in the midst
of a harem. Sheer, diaphanous curtains moved in waves, rising and falling with
the evening breeze. Most of the artwork looked foreign and the ornaments looked
hand-carved from Africa or India.

Ellen was struck by
how little she knew of her daughter’s life. Her travels never interested Ellen,
for they were nothing but reminders of her constant failings at finding either
a decent husband or a decent job. But here, inside this haven of soft lights
and vibrant colors, she saw who her daughter was, what she was trying to show
Ellen, but had never succeeded.

The truth was, Ellen
didn’t want to know, didn’t want to see because her goal was to eliminate all
this and change her. To turn her into the type of daughter she needed to have,
a perfect society daughter, groomed to go to a reputable school, graduate with
honors, get an interesting glamour job at a magazine or museum, then meet an
important man and step into the world, enhancing her parent’s profile all along
the way.

Why was I so
inflexible? Why did none of this matter? Why couldn’t I see that I was trimming
away whatever love she had for me, every time I opened my mouth? With every
critical word, another little bit lost, and in its place, resentment. How could
she love me when I could only love her by my cookie-cutter standards?
Ellen
felt sick in the base of her stomach. She was such a fool.
A self-centered,
insecure fool of a mother.
She looked over at Brianna and wondered how she
could ever make amends. Especially now, with no hope of switching back.

Rory walked over to
Ellen and sat beside her, munching on potato chips. “So what are you going to
do now?”

“I hadn’t gone that
far.”

“What about the
baby?” he asked, reaching across to touch her stomach.

Ellen put her hand
over his. “I don’t know, but I know one thing
 …”

The doorbell rang
and Rory jumped up to answer it.

Patty burst into the
crowded living room and raced toward Sam. “Ellen, you fool, you scared me half
to death. Murder! I just can’t believe any of this—”

“You told her?”
Ellen and Sam both called out to Brianna in unison.

“Everyone will hear
about it anyway, through the police.”

“I can keep a
secret, can’t I?” Patty looked directly at Sam.

Ellen chuckled at
the confused look on Sam’s face. “Yes, you can,” Ellen said. “You’re a very
good friend.”

Patty spun around.
“Samantha Miller, I’m not speaking to you.” She turned away and sat beside Sam.
“Now darling, I want you to know I am here for you, whatever you need. We’ll
get the best lawyers and get Jonathan in jail so fast—”

Ellen laughed aloud.
“It wasn’t Jonathan.”

Patty turned to
Ellen. “Is that little piece of trash addressing me?”

Sam put her hand on
Patty’s. “It’s okay, she’s right. It wasn’t Johnny, although it would be very
convenient if it were.”

Patty sat back in
surprise. “Who, then? Who would want to kill you, except
 …”
She turned to Ellen and scowled. “Except you.” Patty
jumped to her feet and came over to Ellen. She raised her arm. “You little tramp,
I should—”

Rory stepped in and
held Patty back. “Relax, tiger. She’s innocent, too.”

“Then who? Why? Oh
Ellen, I can’t believe I didn’t believe you. Arsenic!” She sat down beside Sam
again. “Have they caught this in time? We must get you to a hospital
 …”

“I’m fine,” Sam
said. “Tired and nauseous, but I will be better soon. You can thank Sammy over
there for saving my life. She was the one to figure it all out, and Rory.”

“Who’s Rory?”

Rory waved his hand.
“That would be me.”

“And you are
 …?
”

“Her boyfriend.”
Rory pointed to Sam.

“Nooo!” Patty let
out a scream that was more like a laugh. “You have to be kidding.”

Sam smiled and
reached for Rory’s hand. “No joke. He loves me. We may even get married.”

Patty covered her
mouth and sat back in silence for several minutes. No one spoke as the
information seeped into Patty’s brain. “Well, good for you, Ellen. I’m proud of
you.” She patted Sam’s arm and stood. “My goodness, I need a drink
 …”

Brianna jumped up
and grabbed a bottle of wine. “White okay?”

“Yes. I’d drink
moonshine right about now. It seems I’ve missed a lot since I was away.”

Brianna pulled
glasses from the makeshift bar above the kitchen counter. “Anyone else?”

She poured wine for
everyone except Sam and Ellen. As they sipped their wine, Brianna went to turn
on some music. “This is very strange,” she said to the group. “Imagine having
my mother, my father’s pregnant mistress, my mother’s very young boyfriend and
my girlfriend all in the same room.”