What If? (45 page)

. . . and let’s jump all the way down to

Magnitude -15

A drifting mote of dust coming to rest on a table

Sometimes it’s nice
not
to destroy the world for a change.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

A bunch of people helped me make this book you’re looking at.

Th
ank you to my editor, Courtney Young, for being an xkcd reader from the beginning and seeing this book through to the end.
Th
ank you to the various terrific people at HMH who made everything work.
Th
ank you to Seth Fishman and the Gernert folks for being patient and tireless.

Th
ank you to
Christina Gleason for making this book look like a book, even when it meant deciphering my scribbled notes about asteroids at three in the morning.
Th
ank you to the various experts who helped me answer questions, including Reuven Lazarus and Ellen McManis (radiation), Alice Kaanta (genes), Derek Lowe (chemicals), Nicole Gugliucci (telescopes), Ian Mackay (viruses), and Sarah Gillespie (bullets).
Th
ank you to davean, who made this all happen but hates attention and will probably complain about being mentioned here.

Th
ank you to the IRC crowd for their comments and corrections, and to Finn, Ellen, Ada, and Ricky for sifting through the flood of submitted questions and filtering out the ones about Goku.
Th
ank you to Goku for apparently being an animé character with infinite strength,
and thus provoking hundreds of What If questions, even though I refused to watch
Dragon Ball Z
in order to answer them.

Th
ank you to my family for teaching me to answer absurd questions by spending so many years patiently answering mine.
Th
ank you to my father for teaching me about measurement and my mother for teaching me about patterns. And thank you to my wife, for teaching me how to be
tough, teaching me how to be brave, and teaching me about birds.

References

Global Windstorm

Merlis, Timothy M., and Tapio Schneider, “Atmospheric dynamics of Earth-like tidally locked aquaplanets,”
Journal of Advances in Modeling Earth Systems
2
(
December 2010
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“What Happens Underwater During a Hurricane?”
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Spent Fuel
Pool

“Behavior of spent nuclear fuel in water pool storage,”
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“Unplanned Exposure During Diving in the Spent Fuel Pool,”
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Laser Pointer

GOOD
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http://www.wickedlasers.com/arctic

Periodic Wall of the Elements

Table on page 9 (
publication page 15, pdf page 15
) in
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Everybody Jump

Dot Physics,
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Straight Dope,
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A Mole of Moles

Disover,
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Hair Dryer

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“
Th
e Nuclear Potato Cannon Part 2,”
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Th
e Last Human Light

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McComas, D.J., J.P. Carrico, B. Hautamaki, M. Intelisano, R. Lebois, M. Loucks, L. Policastri, M. Reno, J. Scherrer, N.A. Schwadron, M. Tapley, and R. Tyler, “A new class of long–term stable lunar resonance orbits: Space weather
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Machine-Gun Jetpack

“Lecture L14-Variable Mass Systems:
Th
e Rocket Equation”
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“[2.4] Attack Flogger in Service,”
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Rising Steadily

Otis: “About Elevators,”
http://www.otisworldwide.com/pdf/AboutElevators.pdf

National
Weather Service: “Wind Chill Temperature Index,”
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“Prediction of Survival Time in Cold Air”
—
see page 24 for the relevant tables,
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Linda D. Pendleton, “When Humans Fly High: What Pilots Should Know About High-Altitude Physiology, Hypoxia, and Rapid Decompression.”
http://www.avweb.com/news/aeromed/181893-1.html

Short-Answer Section

“Currency in Circulation: Volume,”
http://www.federalreserve.gov/paymentsystems/coin_currcircvolume.htm

NOAA, “Subject: C5c, Why don’t we try to destroy tropical cyclones by nuking them?”
http://www.aoml.noaa.gov/hrd/tcfaq/C5c.html

NASA, “Stagnation Temperature,”
http://www.grc.nasa.gov/WWW/BGH/stagtmp.html

Lightning

“Lightning Captured @ 7,207 Fps,”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxQt8ivUGWQ

NOVA, “Lightning: Expert Q&A,”
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/earth/dwyer-lightning.html

JGR, “Computation of the diameter of a lightning return stroke”
http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1029/JB073i006p01889/abstract

Human Computer

“Moore’s Law at 40,”
http://www.ece.ucsb.edu/~strukov/ece15bSpring2011/others/MooresLawat40.pdf

Little Planet

For another take on
Th
e Little
Prince
, scroll down to the last section of this wonderful piece by Mallory Ortberg,
http://the-toast.net/2013/08/02/texts-from-peter-pan-et-al/

Rugescu, Radu D., and Daniele Mortari, “Ultra Long Orbital Tethers Behave Highly Non-Keplerian and Unstable,”
WSEAS Transactions on Mathematics
, Vol. 7, No. 3, March 2008, pp. 87-94,
http://www.academia.edu/3453325/Ultra_Long_Orbital_Tethers_Behave_Highly_Non-Keplerian_and_Unstable

Steak Drop

“Falling Faster than the Speed of Sound,”
http://blog.wolfram.com/2012/10/24/falling-faster-than-the-speed-of-sound

“Stagnation Temperature: Real Gas Effects,”
http://www.grc.nasa.gov/WWW/BGH/stagtmp.html

“Predictions of Aerodynamic Heating on Tactical Missile Domes,”
http://www.dtic.mil/cgi-bin/GetTRDoc?AD=ADA073217

“Calculation of Reentry-Vehicle Temperature History,”
http://www.dtic.mil/dtic/tr/fulltext/u2/a231552.pdf

“Back in the Saddle,”
http://www.ejectionsite.com/insaddle/insaddle.htm

“How to Cook Pittsburgh-Style Steaks,”
http://www.livestrong.com/article/436635-how-to-cook-pittsburgh-style-steaks

Hockey Puck

“KHL’s Alexander Ryazantsev sets new ‘world record’ for hardest shot at 114 mph,”
http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nhl-puck-daddy/khl-alexander-ryazantsev-sets-world-record-hardest-shot-174131642.html

“Superconducting Magnets for Maglifter Launch Assist Sleds,”
http://www.psfc.mit.edu/~radovinsky/papers/32.pdf

“Two-Stage Light Gas Guns,”
http://www.nasa.gov/centers/wstf/laboratories/hypervelocity/gasguns.html

“Hockey Video: Goalies, Hits, Goals, and Fights,”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWj6--Cf9QA

Common Cold

P. Stride, “
Th
e St. Kilda boat cough under the microscope,”
Th
e Journal
—
Royal College of Physicians of Edinburgh,
2008; 38:272–9.

L. Kaiser, J. D. Aubert, et al., “Chronic Rhinoviral Infection in Lung Transplant Recipients,”
American Journal of Respiratory and Critical Care Medicine,
Vol. 174; pp. 1392–1399, 2006, 10.1164/rccm.200604-489OC

Oliver, B. G. G., S. Lim, P. Wark, V. Laza-Stanca, N. King, J. L. Black, J. K. Burgess, M. Roth, and S. L.
Johnston, “Rhinovirus Exposure Impairs Immune Responses To Bacterial Products In Human Alveolar Macrophages,”
Th
orax
63, no. 6 (
2008
): 519–525.

Glass Half Empty

“Shatter beer bottles: Bare-handed bottle smash,”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77gWkl0ZUC8

Alien Astronomers

Th
e Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy,
http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/11.The_Hitchhiker_s_Guide_to_the_Galaxy

“A Failure of Serendipity:
Th
e Square Kilometre Array will struggle to eavesdrop on Human-like ETI,”
http://arxiv.org/PS_cache/arxiv/pdf/1007/1007.0850v1.pdf

“Eavesdropping on Radio Broadcasts from Galactic Civilizations with Upcoming Observatories for Redshifted 21cm Radiation,”
http://arxiv.org/pdf/astro-ph/0610377v2.pdf

“
Th
e Earth as a Distant Planet a Rosetta Stone for the Search
of Earth-Like Worlds,”
http://www.worldcat.org/title/earth-as-a-distant-planet-a-rosetta-stone-for-the-search-of-earth-like-worlds/oclc/643269627

“SETI on the SKA,”
http://www.astrobio.net/exclusive/4847/seti-on-the-ska

Gemini Planet Imager,
http://planetimager.org/

No More DNA

Enjalbert, Françoise, Sylvie Rapior, Janine Nouguier-Soulé, Sophie Guillon, Noël Amouroux, and Claudine
Cabot, “Treatment of Amatoxin Poisoning: 20-Year Retrospective Analysis.”
Clinical Toxicology
40, no. 6 (
2002
): 715–757.
http://toxicology.ws/LLSAArticles/Treatment%20of%20Amatoxin%20Poisoning-20%20year%20retrospective%20analysis%20(J%20Toxicol%20Clin%20Toxicol%202002).pdf

Richard Eshelman, “I nearly died after eating wild mushrooms,”
Th
e Guardian
(
2010
),
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2010/nov/13/nearly-died-eating-wild-mushrooms

“Amatoxin: A review,”
http://www.omicsgroup.org/journals/2165-7548/2165-7548-2-110.php?aid=5258

Interplanetary Cessna

“
Th
e Martian Chronicles,”
http://www.x-plane.com/adventures/mars.html

“Aerial Regional-Scale Environmental Survey of Mars,”
http://marsairplane.larc.nasa.gov/

“Panoramic Views and Landscape Mosaics of Titan Stitched from Huygens Raw Images,”
http://www.beugungsbild.de/huygens/huygens.html

“New images from Titan,”
http://www.esa.int/Our_Activities/Space_Science/Cassini-Huygens/New_images_from_Titan

Yoda

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal,
http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2305#comic

Youtube, “ ‘Beethoven Virus’
—
Musical Tesla Coils,”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNJjnz-GdlE

“Beast.”
Th
e 15Kw 7' tall DR (DRSSTC 5),
http://www.goodchildengineering.com/tesla-coils/drsstc-5-10kw-monster

Falling with Helium

De Haven, H., “Mechanical analysis of survival in falls from heights of fifty to one hundred and fifty feet,”
Injury Prevention,
6(
1
):62-b-68,
http://injuryprevention.bmj.com/content/6/1/62.3.long

“Armchair Airman Says Flight Fulfilled His Lifelong Dream,”
New York Times
, July 4, 1982,
http://www.nytimes.com/1982/07/04/us/armchair-airman-says-flight-fulfilled-his-lifelong-dream.html?pagewanted=all

Jason Martinez, “Falling Faster than the Speed of Sound,” Wolfram Blog, October 24, 2012,
http://blog.wolfram.com/2012/10/24/falling-faster-than-the-speed-of-sound

Everybody Out

Project Orion:
Th
e True Story of the Atomic Spaceship,
http://www.amazon.com/Project-Orion-Story-Atomic-Spaceship/dp/0805059857

Self-Fertilization

“Sperm Cells Created From Human Bone Marrow,”
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/04/070412211409.htm

Nayernia, Karim, Tom Strachan, Majlinda Lako, Jae Ho Lee, Xin Zhang, Alison Murdoch, John Parrington, Miodrag Stojkovic, David Elliott, Wolfgang Engel, Manyu Li, Mary Herbert, and Lyle Armstrong, “RETRACTION-In Vitro Derivation Of Human Sperm From Embryonic Stem Cells,”
Stem Cells and Development
(
2009
): 0908w75909069.

“Can sperm really be created in a laboratory?”
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/jul/09/sperm-laboratory-men

Th
is is discussed more deeply in F. M. Lancaster’s monograph Genetic and Quantitative Aspects of Genealogy at
http://www.genetic-genealogy.co.uk/Toc115570144.html
.

High
Th
row

“A Prehistory of
Th
rowing
Th
ings,”
http://ecodevoevo.blogspot.com/2009/10/prehistory-of-throwing-things.html

“Chapter 9. Stone tools and the evolution of hominin and human cognition,”
http://www.academia.edu/235788/Chapter_9._Stone_tools_and _the_evolution_of_hominin_and_human_cognition

“
Th
e unitary hypothesis: A common neural circuitry for novel manipulations, language, plan-ahead, and throwing?”
http://www.williamcalvin.com/1990s/1993Unitary.htm

“Evolution of the human hand:
Th
e role of throwing and clubbing,”
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1571064

“Errors in the control of joint rotations associated with inaccuracies in overarm throws,”
http://jn.physiology.org/content/75/3/1013.abstract

“Speed of Nerve Impulses,”
http://hypertextbook.com/facts/2002/DavidParizh.shtml

“Farthest Distance to
Th
row a Golf Ball,”
http://recordsetter.com/world-record/world-record-for-throwing-golf-ball/7349#contentsection