What If... All Your Friends Turned On You (6 page)

Darcy's eyes narrowed. But Devon said, “Sure, that's cool. Whatevs.”

“Awesome,” Haley said. “Why don't you guys meet me at the Strand tomorrow night at eight? I'll get the tickets. My treat.”

“The Strand?” Darcy said. “What's playing there, some foreign crap?”

“That's my favorite theater,” Devon said, clearly wounded.

“I know,” Haley said brightly, smiling at Darcy.

Just then, the waitress arrived with their food, so Haley hopped up to go. “So we'll see you tomorrow,” Devon confirmed as Haley walked away. And she couldn't help but notice he seemed just the slightest bit sad to see her go.

Back on her stool at the counter, Haley triumphantly announced, “Phase one of the mission accomplished.”

Shaun rubbed his hands together with glee. “E-e-e-excellent.”

“There's three seats together.” Haley pointed toward a section in the middle of the small theater. Not that the place was all that crowded.

“Why couldn't we see
Zombie Rampage
instead?” Darcy said. “I heard it was awesome.”

“This film's very uplifting,” Haley said. “You'll see.” She was hoping Devon would see too—see how shallow and immature Darcy was. So far he appeared to be fairly clueless on that front.

Darcy slid into the row first. Haley cut in front of Devon so that she could sit between the two of them, on Darcy's right. But Darcy patted the seat to her left and said, “Sit here, Dev. It's closer to the middle of the screen.”

Devon slid past Haley and sat on the other side of Darcy. Darcy looked at Haley and smiled. “There. We'll all be much more comfortable this way.”

The lights went dim and the trailers played.
That little sneak
, Haley thought, barely noticing what was happening on the screen in front of her. Not that it mattered—she had the movie practically memorized.
Irene was right—I never realized how manipulative Darcy really is
.

The first scene opened with ominous orchestral music. Credits were written in Russian and translated
below. The main character, a farmer, appeared, speaking incomprehensible gibberish. The subtitles flashed below him.

Darcy chomped her gum and sighed. “I can't believe we have to sit here and read the movie. What a drag!”

That's right
, Haley thought.
Keep showing your true colors
. She leaned back in her seat and settled in for two hours of Russian tragedy in the steppes. She tried to keep an eye on Devon and Darcy, but the film was actually pretty absorbing, even on the eleventh viewing, though admittedly not as action-packed as
Zombie Rampage
would have been. Every once in a while she glanced over at the couple. Darcy was rubbing Devon's hand and popping her gum, completely ignoring the screen, while Devon stared up at the movie in a kind of spaced-out trance.

When the film ended, Darcy sprang to her feet and announced, “Thank God that's over. Let's get out of here.”

Devon frowned.

“Wow, that was so intense. I think I've … I should visit the restroom and collect my thoughts,” Haley said pensively. Devon nodded as if he understood. “I'll meet you in the lobby,” she said, heading for the ladies' room alone. However, when she came out of the stall to wash her hands, she found Darcy by the sinks reapplying her blue eyeliner.

“Thanks for inviting us to the movie,” Darcy said. “Even though it sucked.”

“Sorry you didn't like it,” Haley said.

“I don't know what you think you're trying to pull,” Darcy said. “But it didn't work. And it never will.”

“I wasn't trying to pull anything,” Haley said, her hackles up.

“It's sad, really. I feel sorry for you, Haley. Deeply sorry.”

“Sorry for me?” Haley said. “Why?”

Darcy didn't look away from the mirror, but kept slathering on eyeliner. “It's so obvious how much you like Devon. Like, it couldn't be more obvious. But it's just as obvious that he only likes you as a friend. You'd have to be totally delusional not to see it.”

Haley was stunned. How could this girl speak so bluntly to her? Darcy was calling her delusional?

“You're the delusional one,” Haley said, struggling to keep her voice from cracking. “If you think someone as shallow as you will ever be able to keep Devon's interest for longer than a nanosecond.”

Darcy laughed. “You're crazy. He's totally into me. You're just some homely classmate.”

Homely?
That was it. The gloves were off.

“We'll see about that,” Haley said, glaring at her opponent.

“Yeah, we will.” Darcy flounced out of the bathroom. Haley stayed by the sink for another minute composing herself. When she came out and looked for Devon and Darcy they were gone.

So that's how it is
, Haley thought. She gritted her teeth as she walked home in the cold. Now she saw Darcy for who she really was: a fierce competitor for Devon's affections.

She'd better be ready
, Haley thought.
Because I'm not going to give up without a fight
.

It's on.

So Darcy's dark side has come out—in all its Technicolor glory. Haley's all worked up at the moment, but will the feeling last? Once she has time to mull things over, will she still want to head into an all-out war with the bleached blond frosh?

If you think this nasty little bathroom run-in has fired Haley up for good, have her rise to the challenge and compete for Devon's heart,
FORMIDABLE OPPONENT
.

There are other things going on in Haley's life, though—a lot of other things. One of the biggest events in her life is her upcoming driver's test, and the possibility of that car her parents mentioned on New Year's. Haley won't pass the test unless she practices, and to practice she needs to focus on driving, not boy troubles
and catfights. If you're sure Haley cares more about getting her license than beating Darcy at her own game, go to,
DRIVING PRACTICE
.

Finally, all this drama is enough to make a girl's head spin. To have Haley just head home to clear her head before deciding what to do next, go to,
ON THE SCALE
.

Haley's got a lot on her plate right now. It's up to you to help her decide what's important and keep her priorities straight
.

H
aley arrived at the Von-Metzger household to find the festivities in full swing under a makeshift tent in the backyard. Rick Von, art teacher extraordinaire, had gone all out to celebrate his recent engagement to Dave Metzger's mother, Nora. The tent looked homemade—like no party structure Haley had ever seen, in fact—but it was beautifully lit up with twinkling lights, like a swarm of winter fireflies. A space heater kept the area warm in spite of the January chill. Picnic tables covered with colorful Indian
fabrics acted as banquet tables, and Mrs. Metzger had set candles and bowls of amaryllis all around.

“Welcome, Haley,” Mr. Von said in his soft, gentle voice. “Do you know, I made this tent myself.”

“Oh, I never would have guessed!” Haley exclaimed after offering Mr. Von her congratulations.

“Yes, I fashioned it out of my favorite old clothes and vintage cloth I've collected over the years. I wanted everything at the party to have meaning, even the fabric that surrounds us.”

“Um, that's a lovely sentiment,” Haley said, trying her best to be polite.

“Right this way to the gift station,” Mr. Von said, leading Haley to a table covered with paints, brushes and paper. “In lieu of gifts we ask each of our guests to paint us a portrait of our love.” Haley saw a middle-aged woman with wild gray hair, busy painting a picture of a cactus.

“That's … a lovely sentiment,” Haley repeated, now slightly creeped out. How was she supposed to know what Mr. Von and Mrs. Metzger's love looked like?

She had to admit that she'd never seen her eccentric art teacher look so happy, or so neat. Since Nora Metzger had moved in, Mr. Von's shirts were actually clean, ironed and even starched. Mrs. Metzger couldn't seem to do much with her son's hygiene habits, but she'd made a big improvement in Mr. Von's.

Over by the hors d'oeuvre table, the usual art-student
crowd had gathered, including Irene Chen and Shaun Willkommen, though there was no sign of Devon McKnight and his now-constant companion, Darcy Podowski. Dave, Annie and Hannah were huddled around the refreshments table sipping punch, and Alex Martin was talking to a strange man Haley didn't recognize.
So he made it after all
, Haley thought. Alex had been so busy with preparations for Eleanor Eton's inauguration lately, it had seemed doubtful that he would make an appearance. With his graying Vandyke beard and white Southern Gentleman suit flecked with paint, the stranger looked like someone who might have gone to art school with Mr. Von. The rest of the guests were arty friends of Rick's and suburby friends of Nora's, two subsets that didn't intersect very much, Haley noticed.

Haley got herself a glass of punch and went over to congratulate Dave, who was now loitering near the entrance of the tent as if to prepare himself for a speedy exit. “Hey, Dave, how are you holding up?”

“Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine,” Dave said nervously.

“You seem a little tense,” Haley said. “I can certainly understand that. But Mr. Von's not a bad guy I bet once you get used to having him around you'll grow to really—”

“That's not what's making me tense,” Dave said. “It's RoBro! He's in a very fragile state right now.”

Haley sensed Dave was projecting. “So it's official? RoBro! has been unveiled?”

“We prefer the word
born,”
Dave insisted. “Ro-Bro! was just born yesterday. Twenty pounds, five ounces, thirty-four inches tall.”

“Congratulations. You're a brother!”

Dave smiled nervously. “Thank you. I'm excited. I really love the little guy. You should see him now, Haley. He's so adorable and he says the cutest things.”

“Really? I would like to see him.”

“But I worry about him. I'm afraid Hannah and I might have let him be born prematurely. That's why I have to check on him every fifteen minutes, to make sure he's warm enough, getting enough electricity and functioning properly.”

“I see.” Poor Dave was really losing it over this robot brother of his. Haley remembered what it was like to be an only child—she was nine when her brother, Mitchell, was born—and frankly, she'd never minded one bit being the only child in the house. It was little brothers who were the pain in the neck. Why would you want to create one if you didn't have to?

Haley heard the
ding-ding-ding
sound of fork against glass and turned to see Mr. Von standing on a chair, trying to get the party's attention.

“My dear friends and companions in life's long and mysterious journey,” he said. “I'd like to take a moment to say a few words.” The guests quieted down and gathered around Mr. Von. “The day I met
Nora is the day my life turned around,” he said. “She's the paint, I'm the brush, and together we're creating a beautiful canvas of our lives.”

“Awww,” said a few people in the crowd.

“And so, as you all know, I asked Nora to join me on life's meandering road, to take my hand in marriage. To my great honor, she accepted.”

Everyone clapped.

“And now I'd like to ask someone else to join us on our cosmic trip through the universe,” Mr. Von continued. “Dave, would you come up here?”

Dave looked at Haley in terror, his hands shaking violently. “Go on, he won't bite you. He's vegetarian,” Haley said, nudging Dave toward his stepfather-to-be.

Dave stood in front of Mr. Von as Nora took her son's shaking hand. “David, tonight I ask you if you would do me the great honor of becoming my son.” Mr. Von raised his glass. “Dave, will you become our Dave Metzger-Von or Dave Von-Metzger? Whichever you prefer.”

Nora beamed at Dave and squeezed his hand. Dave's eyes widened; he stared around the tent as if at a tribunal announcing his death sentence.
An overreaction, sure
, Haley thought. But maybe Mr. Von shouldn't have sprung this on a temperamental guy like Dave in public.

“What do you say, Dave?” Mr. Von made a toasting motion with his glass, and the rest of the
crowd followed suit. “To David Metzger-Von or Von-Metzger!”

People clinked glasses and drank while Dave stammered, “Um—um—I've got s-something to do.” He dashed through the mob of guests and disappeared into the garage. Nora looked concerned as she watched him go.

“He's just checking on RoBro!” Haley assured her. “He'll be back.”