Westward Dreams (12 page)

Dear Silver Ghost,

I’m sure by now you’ve heard about me and Hannah.  I need some advice about the situation and I feel that you’re the best one to ask.  Our brother Dean brought something to my attention and now I can’t get it out of my head.

              “
Our
brother Dean?” Marcus said as he lay on his bed reading the letter from Owl.  He almost wondered if Claire had messed up something in the translation, but then he dismissed that notion because he knew his genius of a wife wouldn’t make a mistake like that.  That must have been the way Owl had said it to her, or she wouldn’t have written it that way.

             
My feelings for Hannah are very strong, but I’m afraid to go much further in our relationship because of one thing; going away for the winter.  I am torn between my duty to our family and my feelings for her.  It wouldn’t be fair to expect her to travel with us because of the important work she does here. Plus, you would kill me if I took away your nurse.

              “Damn right, I would,” Marcus said.

             
However, I have a responsibility to our tribe to help provide food and protection all year round.  I know that things are different in your case.  But for me, I’m obligated, especially because of now being the brother of our chief.  Even if I did stay behind with Hannah, what would I do?  I would be bored to death during the day while she works.

              Of course, I’ve got another problem staring me in the face.  I can’t shoot my bow.  My shoulder will not take the strain of supporting the bow with the proper tension in order to shoot accurately. I tried last week and was laid up for a couple of days.  The only upside to that was that Hannah stayed with me a couple of nights.

              Do you see my problem?  If I can’t shoot my bow, how am I going to be able to throw a spear or wield a knife properly?  What about close combat?  If I can’t do any of those things, what good am I to our family?  I will be a burden, nothing more.  Yes, my family will still love me, but I do not want to be kept around just because of that.  I need to be productive. 

              So either way, if I stay or go, what will I do if I can’t hunt and such?  I’m not like you.  You have other skills besides hunting and fighting that are important to our family, but I don’t.  I couldn’t even be a sentry because I couldn’t do much about any trespassers.  I’m fast, but not fast enough to be a runner like He Who Runs.  I have nothing else to fall back on.  I would have no purpose.

              I know you may not have a solution, but your thoughts on all of this would be greatly appreciated.  I miss having you here to talk to and laugh with.  I hope all is well with you, brother.

Owl

              Marcus laid the letter on his chest and ran a hand through his hair.  Owl was certainly in a predicament.  Knowing Lakota culture as well as he did, Marcus understood how awful it would be for Owl not to be able to do the things he normally did.  His brother was an expert marksman and skilled at hand to hand combat.  He was the best sentry the tribe had, too. 

              Chief’s brother or not, Owl played a big part in the survival of their tribe.  With him out of the picture, it would make things more difficult for them.  Marcus knew that the elderly often went off to die alone when they felt they were no longer any use to the tribe and felt they were taking up valuable food and time resources. 

The doctor in him hated that these people would die because of such a thing, but to try to get them to come back home was a huge insult.  Marcus had made the mistake of attempting to coax an old woman to come back one time and had never made it again.  Every time he heard that one of their older members had disappeared it ate at him.

For Owl to be put in that position was unthinkable.  He was far too young and vital to go off and die alone.  There had to be something he could do for the tribe that would be acceptable for a man, but Marcus had no idea what. 

The matter of Hannah was a whole other issue.  Owl obviously cared for her a great deal and was trying to consider her feelings without being selfish.  He was faced with much of the same dilemma if he stayed in Dawson over the winter.  Owl would need some kind of job, but what would that be?

Marcus had no answer at that moment, but he would keep trying to work something out.  In the meantime, he had to get some rest so he could do well on one of his last two finals in the morning.  He turned out the gas light in his room and prepared for sleep.

Dear Owl,

              I was so sorry to hear about all of the trouble you’re having.  I know how much you pride yourself on your hunting prowess and ability as a sentry.  This shoulder injury is very devastating to you, I know.  Yes, of course our family will still love you, but I understand how your sense of worth would be diminished if you couldn’t perform at full-capacity anymore.

              What’s with calling Dean
our
brother?  Explain that to me, please.  Not that I mind, I just find it strange.  I think you’re right to think about Hannah’s feelings in all of this.  If she’s anything like Claire, she isn’t going to go with you because she has a sense of duty, too, and isn’t going to give up her career to go south.  I know I won’t give up mine to go, either. 

              So it all comes down to you, brother.  If you stay in Dawson over the winter, I’m sure there’s something you would be able to do.  The question is if you decide that you want to marry Hannah and stay, are you going to end up resenting her somehow?  That wouldn’t be fair to her.  You need to look deep into your heart and see the truth, Owl.  You’ve always told me that the truth is the most important thing. 

I wish I would have listened to you about that a lot earlier in my life.  It might have saved a lot of people a lot of heartache if I had.  Anyway, use that strong inner voice you have to see what’s right.  You can also do what I do whenever I have a problem like this I need to deal with; talk to Dean.  He’s the most helpful person I know when it comes to this kind of thing.  He’s the one I’ve always turned to for answers to some of the toughest relationship problems in my life.  You wouldn’t think it about him, but trust me about this. 

I hope this helps.  Please let me know how things are going.  It won’t be long until I’m home for good, brother. 

Silver Ghost

              When Claire finished reading Owl the letter from Marcus, Owl smiled.  His younger brother always had good advice and his compassion was always a comfort to him.  He thought Marcus’ confusion about his relationship with Dean was funny.  He felt better about his life situation than before the letter had come.

              “Thank you, Fawn,” Owl said.  “I can almost hear him in my head.”

              Claire said, “I know what you mean.  It’s the same way for me.”

              “I know you’ve missed him very much, but he’ll be home soon,” Owl said.

              Claire nodded.  “It’s right around the corner now.  I can hang in there a little while longer.”

“You are a strong woman, Fawn.”  Owl kissed his sister-in-law’s cheek and left her house.  He needed to go meditate on these issues and listen to his “inner voice” as Marcus had called it. 

What Owl’s inner voice ended up telling him was to wait and see how his shoulder would heal and then make a decision.  He wasn’t going to think about marriage to Hannah at the moment, but he wasn’t going to break things off because she had told him that they could figure things out together.

May pleasantly rolled by for the unlikely couple during which time Owl made good on his vow to work on his English and Hannah reciprocated by learning Lakota.  Claire was instrumental in this since she was fluent in both languages.  She was pleased with the progress both of them made and with their dedication to learning.

She pushed Owl harder on his reading and writing and he rose to the challenge.  He figured that he might as well do something to occupy his time while Hannah was working and he was waiting for his shoulder to heal some more.  The Samuels family benefitted from his need to feel useful and was glad to accept his help with various chores including watching the children.

Owl also kept his promise of giving Mikey a horse and brought the black and white pony for him one day.  He rode Swift up the drive and led the pony.  Tessa was hanging laundry and saw him.  He beckoned her over to him.

“Hello, brother,” she said in Lakota.

“Hello, sister,” he said.  “I have a gift for Mikey.  Is he around?”

“Yes, he’s in the barn with Dean,” Tessa said.

Owl smiled as he slid off Swift.  “You’re Lakota is excellent now.  I want to give him his pony.”

Tessa looked at the pony.  “He’s beautiful,” she said and stroked the pony’s face.

“Yes, he’ll be a good first pony for my nephew,” Owl said. 

“I won’t keep you,” Tessa said.  “He’ll be so excited.”

Owl smiled at her and began walking to the barn.  He let Swift’s reins drop and the horse stood still.  He led the pony right into the barn and down a short passageway to the main barn floor.

In English he said, “Where’s my nephew?”

Mikey’s head popped up from inside a stall.  “Hi, Uncle Owl.”

“Hi.  Come here,” Owl said. 

Mikey exited the stall and walked over to Owl.  Owl handed him the pony’s lead rope and said, “This is now your pony and you should name him so he will know he’s yours.”

The boy looked at the pony and at Owl a couple of times.  “Really?”

Owl laughed.  “Yes, really.”

Mikey grinned and pet the pony who nudged Mikey with his muzzle.

“See?  He’s waiting for his name,” Owl said.

“I have to think about it.  You surprised me,” Mikey said.

“Don’t wait too long,” Owl said. 

“Thank you, uncle,” Mikey said.

Owl ruffled his hair, “You’re welcome.”

“You speak pretty good English for an Indian,” Dean said as he came up behind Owl.

Owl smiled and turned around.  “You must be practicing walking silently.  I didn’t hear you right away.”

Dean looked surprised.  “Wow.  I wasn’t even trying.  You and Marcus must be rubbing off on me.  So this is the pony, huh?”

Owl nodded.  Dean walked around the horse and then ran his hands over its back and legs.  “He’s a nice little fella.  Good confirmation.  I guess we’re gonna have to go get you a new saddle, Mikey.  We need a slightly smaller one.”

Owl frowned.  “He doesn’t need a saddle.”

Dean laughed.  “He does if he’s gonna start learning how to rope a calf.”

Mikey looked at his father with wide eyes.  “You’re gonna teach me how to rope?”

“Well, what good is it to have a cow pony if you’re not gonna rope?” Dean said.  He looked at Owl.  “You have to have a saddle horn for roping, Owl.”

“This is an Indian pony.  They don’t rope,” Owl said.

“No, this
used
to be an Indian pony. 
Now
it’s going to be a cow pony.  Horses can be retrained, you know,” Dean said with a glint of humor in his eyes.  He was enjoying getting the best of Owl for a change.

Owl scowled at Dean.  “We’ll see.”

“I don’t usually make wagers, but I’m willing to make a bet with you that within a month, I can have this pony roping calves.  If I win, you have to learn how to rope.  If you win, I have to learn how to put up a tipi,” Dean said.  “Do we have a bet?”

Owl grinned.  This would be fun.  “Yes, we do,” he said as he put his hand in Dean’s and shook on it.

“If you lose the bet, are you really going to learn how to rope?” Hannah asked as they sat in her new home. 

She’d purchased a small house on the outskirts of town.  With her new job going so well and Joe Dwyer vouching for her, she’d been able to get a loan to buy it.  She liked it because it had a horse shed and a little bit of land.  She wanted to get some chickens and plant a garden.  Her buying a house only underscored how right Dean and Marcus were that Hannah was laying down roots.  It was hard for Owl to bide his time, but bide it he must.

“Yes.  I won’t go back on a bet,” Owl said. 

Hannah smiled.  “You might like roping.”

Owl said, “I don’t think he’ll win, so I won’t find out.  That pony has only known one way of life and is set in his ways.”

“I don’t know.  I think if you really want to learn something you will.  I mean look at us.  You learned English better and I’m pretty good at Lakota now,” Hannah said.  “We both worked hard because we wanted to learn.”

Owl nodded.  It was true.  They’d both applied their minds and had reaped the benefits.  Owl also understood that she wasn’t just referring to their recent education.  She was talking about him.  While he got her point, he couldn’t make any commitment just yet.  His shoulder and back were doing better, but they were far from reliable.