Read Welcome to Night Vale Online
Authors: Joseph Fink
Jackie followed Troy to a bar. She knew what it was because it had a large sign saying
BAR
outside. It was in a wooden building that it shared with an insurance agency. The building itself looked old and worn but also like it might have been built recently to look old and worn.
Troy went inside, and Jackie followed after.
She couldn't see him. The long bar was full even though the working day wasn't quite over. All men, of course. She rolled her eyes. All the booths were full too, all men, all hunched over.
There was the gurgle of a tap. The bartender, whom she couldn't see over the line of men at the bar, was pouring a beer. Maybe for a newcomer to the bar, one who had just walked in. She headed in that direction.
Her eyes were still grappling with the change from glaring sunlight to dim bar, and so she could not see what was happening when shouting started from the back of the bar.
“You son of a bitch.”
“Say it again.”
There was the thump of a person falling over. The men at the bar were turning with interest, and she noticed something odd about them, but it was lost as the fight in the back became more violent.
“I'll say it as many times as I want.”
A few punches. A clatter of people running into chairs. More punches. The men were starting to get up and run to the back.
“If you break anything that belongs to the establishment, you will pay,” shouted the bartender. “Cash or jail time, means the same to me.”
But he too started to run to the back.
“Gentlemen, please,” he said.
He was blond.
Blond. That was what she had noticed. All the men in the bar were blond. Her eyes started to focus in on dim shapes. She followed the last of the running men to a small open area with a pool table and jukebox in the back.
There were two men on the floor, wrestling and flailing. Their faces were red. Both of them were Troy.
“Gentlemen, take this outside at once,” said the bartender.
“Ah, let them fight,” said one of the bystanders. “What else do we all have to do out here?”
She recognized both voices. The bartender was Troy. So was the bystander.
Her vision fully adjusted. She was surrounded by an enormous circle of Troys, watching the two Troys fight in the middle. Every person in the bar was Troy.
The crowd around her swayed in empathetic motion with the fighting men. She was jostled in the wave of Troys. As she tried to squeeze herself from the crowd, the group of alike men next to her lurched left and knocked her to the floor.
They were laughing and cheering and attempted but failed to step gingerly around her tender legs.
She grunted and cursed. One of the men made a barely attentive hand gesture toward her, but otherwise they ignored her, so, with great pain and exasperation, she lifted herself to her feet and edged her way behind the moving mass of men back to the exit.
She sagged against the wooden facade of the building. She wished she had Diane again. The pain in her left arm was making it hard to think or move. She worried that pain meds would cloud her mind, and so she paced herself with them. Anyway, the pain meds the hospital had given her were just a bag of wood chips, and so she doubted their effectiveness.
A blond man with a future shiner across his right eye staggered out of the bar. He stopped near Jackie and looked down the street, cursing under his breath.
“Hey,” Jackie said, pushing off the wall with her back in hopes of not looking so weak, although her pain and the shock of meeting Troy after everything she had learned about him made her sag right back against it. Without much practice to this point in her life, she tried, clumsily, to make casual adult conversation: “You smoke?”
“No, sorry,” he said, looking at her without recognition.
“Neither do I. Don't know why I asked. I'm sorry. My name's Jackie. What's your name?”
“Troy.” His eyes narrowed. “How old are you? Your parents know you're out at a bar?”
“My dad does.”
He looked out over the empty fields and low, brittle-grassed hills to the always busy 101 and the deepening sky of late dusk behind it, rubbing the back of his head vacantly. He looked concussed, but, more than that, he looked like he knew something he didn't want to know.
“All right, kid. I got clocked and just needed some air. Gonna head back in andâ”
“What's the deal with everyone here? Why do you all look the same? Are you all named Troy? Do you know Diane Crayton?”
She had so much to ask, like when you run into a favorite actor or author. How do you say everything you've wanted to say to a person who has been a big part of your life and doesn't know you at all?
“Diane,” Troy said, frowning nervously.
“Diane Crayton. From Night Vale. She's raising your boy Josh.”
“Oh. Well.” Troy nodded, edging toward the door. “How is she?”
“Why don't you ask her yourself?” She let him hear the bitterness in her voice.
“Yeah,” he said, not exactly in response to what she said but just to make a sound.
“There's dozens of you. Why doesn't one of you go talk to her? Do you do anything but sit here and drink?”
“This is just who I am . . . um.”
“Jackie.”
“Jackie. I am who you see. I don't know how to explain it. How to . . .” He grunted. “It's hard, okay. It's just a thing I deal with.”
The door to the bar opened and another Troy came out. And then several, if not all, of the Troys came out. They all stared sideways at Jackie.
“Whatever, it's fine,” she said, not afraid of any one of her fathers, but nervous around so many.
“Of course it's fine,” the Troy with the bruised eye said. “I don't have to explain myself to you. I don't know you. How'd you break your arm? Why does your dad let you drink? Why're you bothering me about Diane?”
The Troys stepped forward. One of them said, “Is this girl bothering you?” Another one said, “Give a guy some room,
lady.” And another one said, “Back off, guys.” And another oneâand Jackie wondered if she imagined this one, it was so quietâsaid, “Jackie?”
The crowd of Troys were all speaking at once to her, to each other. She backed up.
“Listen, man,” she said. “All of you . . . men. I just . . . all right. I gotta go.”
Her father was so many, and all of him did not know her. She limped away as quickly as she could. Once out of sight, she fell against the stained stucco wall of a store with a sign that said
PLANTS
, slumped and aching. None of him called after, and none of him followed her. One by one, all of him drifted back into the bar.
Jackie pulled on the front door of City Hall, but it was locked. She shook it a couple of times. She knocked. She tried bleeding on it. Nothing.
“Open,” she shouted at the door. “Open up.” But it was not a shouting door either. The buildings in King City looked mostly the same, mostly cold and colorless, but City Hall, the breath of life for any living city, sat small and shriveled like a smoker's lung. “C'mon,” she whined, helpless.
Nothing in this town made sense. Nothing makes sense anywhere, she supposed, but the difference between the comforting nonsense of home and the alien nonsense of King City made her feel deeply the miles between there and here, and the time that had passed since she had felt comfortable anywhere. She kicked the door, and the only result was a searing wave from her toes up her leg and through her arm.
She walked around the building. On the far side was another door. Unlike the front door, it had no signage and was plain and heavy and dark. Also unlike the front door, it was open.
Instead of a trash room or storage closet, the back door led into a classy, if dated, reception area. The left and right walls were lined with paintings of people in chronological eras of dress. Under the paintings on each wall was a plaque that read,
FORMER MAYORS
.
The receptionist sat at a metal desk, and on the wall behind
the receptionist was a painting of a man wearing a tan jacket. On the desk was a guest sign-in sheet.
“Hi, did a Diane Crayton come in this way?” Jackie said, leaning over the sign-in, scanning for Diane's name. Every line was blank. The receptionist grabbed the sign-in sheet away from her.
“Do you have an appointment?” she said, her voice hoarse and her eyes swollen.
“My friend was here to meet with the mayor. E-Ev-Evan?” Jackie said, curling his name into a question. “Everett. Elliott. Your mayor. She came to meet with the mayor.”
“We don't have a mayor.” The receptionist smiled, as if this had been a convoluted icebreaker and now they could have a real conversation.
“You do, though.”
“I'm sorry. We do not currently have a mayor. We're an unusual town in that way, I guess. If your friend said she was coming to see the mayor of King City, she was either lying or disappointed.”
The receptionist's smile turned from friendly to smug.
“No. You do. Look.” Jackie pointed to the painting behind the receptionist.
“I have never seen that painting before.”
“Read the plaque.”
The receptionist read the plaque aloud. “Current mayor.”
“That's who I'm here to see.”
“How did I not know that we have a mayor?” The receptionist frowned, looking neither friendly nor smug. She stood and said, “Wait here,” before running out the entrance of the building, leaving a ring of keys on the desk and an unsecured computer, which on closer inspection was unplugged, and on even closer inspection was a painted model carved of wood.
Jackie shrugged, grabbed the keys, and headed down the hallway next to the reception desk. There were few doors along the long hall. What doors there were had no knobs or hinges, which made them not doors but door-like walls. They had frosted-glass windows and etched room numbers that followed no simple logic: 43-EE was next door to AX-6, which was across the hall from
L
. Jackie tried pushing on them and sliding them and knocking on them, but nothing happened.
The hall was long and winding. There were no tributary hallways. Given the small size of the outer building, and the incredible length of the hallway, Jackie was certain the hall was spiraling underground, but every few feet there was a window facing outside. Jackie could peer out and see trees and buildings and taupe, slow-moving traffic. The last light of dusk mixed with the anemic low-watt fluorescent lighting.
She knocked on each door hoping to find someone, hoping to find Diane or the mayor or whatever he was. Sometimes she thought she heard voices in soft conversation behind these non-doors, and as she would knock and push and shake the wall, the voices would go silent.
She pressed her face to the frosted glass when she heard voices, hoping to see inside, hoping just to catch movement of some sort. Even if it meant a terrified or irate employee bursting into the hallway to confront her, that would have been fine by Jackie. She would at least have someone to talk to.
But each door, nothing. Nothing at door 55. Nothing at door T9. Nothing at FLX-8i.7. Nothing at 2. Nothing at
SUPPLIES
. Nothing at 3315. Something at
CTY
.
REC
. Something small.
It was one of few doors that had meaningful lettering. She listened at first, then pushed lightly, then heavily. She tried lifting and sliding the door. She knocked. She pressed her face to the glass. She didn't know why, but she did something she had
not done at any of the other non-doors. She put her hand to the glass.
She set her palm against the glass and spread her fingers. When she lifted it away, it left its ghost upon the glass, a hand raised to say, “Stop.” Or “Come here.” Or “Hello.” Or “Help.” Or maybe only “I am here. This hand, at least, is real.”
Behind the handprint she saw a shadow approaching the glass.
“Diane?” Jackie stepped back and prepared whatever energy was left in her to flee whatever might be behind the door.
As it neared the glass, she could see that the shadow had what looked like antlersâsleek, tapered antlers from a bulbous skull.
“Diane?” Jackie asked, less hopefully.
“No,” said a voice, and the door began to crack. A yellow sliver of light split the black floor near Jackie's feet and began to widen. Jackie could not move. The door opened and she saw.
“Who do you mean by âthat man'?” said Diane.
“Troy,” said the man in the tan jacket.
“Troy,” she said.
“Diane,” he said, “let me tell you a story about Troy.”
There once was a town called King City that was completely normal. Or it had many small abnormalities, minor secrets, moments throughout its history that didn't quite add up, and events that no one ever talked about. And, in that way, it was completely normal.
It sat on a stretch of the 101 freeway between a town called Greenfield and a state wildlife area. This stretch of the 101 was not interesting to anyone. Citizens of King City would dispute this, because they had been born there, or had fallen in love or had gone south of the law or gone above expectations, had lived full lives along that stretch of freeway. But for most anyone else driving past on their way north or south it was nothing and then a town and then not a whole lot more.
The mayor of that town was a young, energetic man, with a wife and a daughter and a house. There were people he loved and things he owned. There were also people he did not love and things he did not own. He lived a full life.
Not long after he was elected, a new man arrived in town. People arrived in town all the time. It wasn't that distant from other places, and it was along a major thoroughfare. There was a Taco Bell where people could pee. There was a gas station where
people could pee. There were all sorts of things. The mayor was proud of his town.
But the stranger wasn't passing through. He was coming to live. He said he came from a town, not that far away, or possibly quite far away. He wasn't sure.
“Distance is confusing,” the stranger would tell people, anyone who would listen. “So is time.”
He would shake his head and invite them to join him in considering the folly of space and time.
This was not why he was noticed.
Why he was noticed was that he was very helpful. As it turned out, he was that rare combination of nice and competent. There didn't seem to be a lot he couldn't do.
Car troubles? Sure, I know a thing or two about engines. Nothing much, but I can take a look. And the car would be running in no time.
Bill troubles? Actually, I know a bit about the law on that stuff. Let me just talk to them for a second, see if there's anything I can work out. And the bill collectors would never call again.
Broken heart? Buddy, you don't know how much experience I have in that area. Let me buy you a drink and we'll talk about it. And while alcohol never fixed the problem, it certainly made the person feel better for the time that the conversation lasted.
Everyone in town grew to like him very much.
“That Troy,” said Ynez, an older retired woman who worked weeknights at the music shop. “He is a helpful one, though, isn't he?”
“Sure is,” said the mayor. He was wearing a tan jacket. The mayor sometimes wore a tan jacket, but often did not.
Then the trouble started.
It began with Troy being helpful. He was carrying groceries for an old man who possibly could have carried the groceries himself, but it had been a long day, and he was tired, and if Troy wanted to carry them then he would let Troy do that.
As they walked out through the parking lot, the old man and Troy passed another Troy who was jump-starting a worried teen
ager's car. The teenager hadn't been allowed to take the car, and now she couldn't get it to start, and she was worried about her parents coming home to both her and the car missing.
“They're going to call the cops,” she was saying, aloud but to herself. “I'm going to be in so much trouble.”
Troy had hooked the cables to his battery and was in the process of hooking up the other side to her car when Troy walked by with the old man and his groceries.
“Hello,” said Troy.
“Oh, hi there,” said the other Troy.
The old man and the teenager gaped at the Troys and at each other. Troy kept carrying the groceries and hooking up the jumper cables. He turned and looked back at the old man, who had stopped walking.
“What's wrong?” Troy asked.
And with that, Troy started to multiply. First a little, and then more than a little. He was everywhere. He was competent, and friendly, and helpful, and there were so many of him.
The citizens of King City had no idea what to do. They looked to their mayor for guidance. Their mayor had no idea what to do.
He put on his tan jacket, because it happened to be chilly that day, and he went to visit Troy. Or one of the Troys. The one he thought was the original, although it was difficult to tell at that point.
Troy smiled when he opened his door.
“Oh hey,” Troy said, lounging back in toward his living room. “Come on in, man. Do you want something to drink? Water? A beer?”
“No, that's okay,” said the mayor. “Listen, Troy, I have some questions.”
“Sure, no problem.”
“Troy, where did you come from, exactly?”
Troy frowned.
“Place called Night Vale. Great town. Grew up there. Never actually lived anywhere else. But got a lot of heartbreak back there. Lot of bummer life decisions. King City is nice. Plus I feel like I'm
doing real good here. Hey, speaking of which, anything you need to get done? I'm feeling productive today.”
“No, Troy. Thank you.” The mayor sat uncomfortably in a comfortable chair. “Troy, there are more of you.”
“Yeah,” said Troy.
“There are lots of yous. There are multiple Troys.”
“Well, sure,” said Troy. “I think we're all being pretty helpful though, right? Listen, if any of them aren't helpful, you come talk to me. I'll set myself right.”
“Helpfulness is not the problem, Troy. The problem is that people do not multiply. There is never suddenly more of a person.”
“Of course there is. Look at me.” He frowned again. “I dunno. Where I'm from, you just kind of roll with things. I guess I assumed this place would be like that too.”
“We like you, Troy,” said the mayor in the tan jacket. “But we're confused.”
“Oh, hey, I like you all too.” Troy got up. The mayor got up too. “This is a great town you have, and I'm going to keep doing my best to make it better.” He started to guide the mayor out the door. “Thanks so much for coming by. Feel free to come by anytime if you have something needs doing or if you just want to talk. I love talking.”
The mayor left the house, feeling uneasy and like he had not accomplished anything at all.
The Troys continued to multiply. Soon there were entire neighborhoods full of them, smiling and waving and offering to help each other out.
The other people in King City changed too. They became forgetful. They found they were talking less to people that did not live in King City. They would get calls from their mother, telling them that they hadn't called her in so long, and they would realize that until the moment she called, they had forgotten that they had a mother.
It wasn't just their memory. There was something happening physically. They were finding it harder and harder to leave town.
They would try to do just a quick twenty-minute drive out of city limits and find that all the roads led back to town, that the sky for a moment looked like video static or maybe just a lot of stars, more stars than anyone had ever seen, but either is strange in the middle of the day, right? The 101, so closely tied to the life of the town, became impossible to reach. There didn't seem to be any entrances, and no matter where they drove, it didn't seem to get any closer. Soon they couldn't even hear it, as close as it was. Silence descended on their town.
And the Troys continued to multiply. The mayor tried to warn the town about Troy, but no one could hold that thought in their minds long enough to do anything about it.
“We need a mayor,” they would say. “A mayor would be able to lead, would know what to do,” and then they would discover that they had a mayor but had forgotten about him. And then they would forget that they had discovered that.
The man who happened to be mayor the day that Troy came to town felt these changes too. He went home less and less. Sometimes he would forget where his home was, and even when he did go home, his wife and daughter and he would all stare at each other with wide, blank eyes, unsure of who any of them were, terrified of the strangers in their home.
Every time he looked down, he seemed to be wearing that tan jacket. He would decide to take it off, and then he would forget until he noticed again and the process would repeat.
Soon he stopped going home at all. This was not a decision, it was just what happened. He always seemed to be at City Hall, with a staff who did not know who he was or that they even had a mayor.
The only thing he could hold clearly in his mind was the place that Troy was from. A town called Night Vale. So he went looking for Night Vale.
Night Vale is not an easy place to find, but he had a lot of time. In the infinite weirdness that had descended on King City, time was an inexhaustible resource.
He made it to Night Vale and began trying to see if anyone
could help him save his city from Troy. He spent months, maybe even years there, he wasn't sure. No one could remember talking to him, or what they talked about. No one could help him. And then he talked to Diane, and she, for whatever reason, mentioned Troy in passing.
So the mayor, whose name was not Evan McIntyre, began working at Diane's office to learn more about Troy, a man of many selves but only one form, and in time learned about his son, Josh, a boy of many forms but only one self. And the mayor knew what he had to do.
He wasn't happy about it, but then nothing made him happy anymore.
“Your Josh is the son of the man that took my town from me,” the man in the tan jacket said to Diane. “Your son Josh is also an unusual person, but he is different than his father. I need his help to understand Troy and save my town.”
He sighed, looking out his window as though the view were anything but a wall and a garbage can.
“I feel as though we have been replaced by some other King City that has gone on with the normal progression of its life as a city, right where we left it, diverging from us as we have spiraled out into whatever part of space and time you would call this.”
Diane stood. She didn't care about the man or his town.
“Tell me where you took my son. I want my son.”
The flies swarmed again, catching Diane off guard. She stumbled backward into the leather chair. The man in the tan jacket shook his head.
“Space and time are weird, right?”
He was right.
“Listen, Evan, or whatever your name is, it's terrible what happened to your town. But I need my son back. Because as
much as I care about the world, I care more about my son. You have a daughter, you understand.”
“I do. I do have a daughter,” he said, turning back around to face her. “And as much as I care about your son, I care more about my daughter. You, I'm sure, understand. We've all had family taken from us because of Troy.”
She pointed at him. She meant it.
“Understand this. I will find my son. I will find my son right away.”
Which is when her son walked in with Jackie. He had a squat body and enormous antlers.
“Hi, Mom,” Josh said.