Weeks in Naviras (31 page)

After he’d gone back downstairs Anushka came up almost immediately, wanting to know what the shouting had been about. I told her about James wanting rid of her. From that moment, I promised myself I wouldn’t lie to anyone unless it was absolutely necessary.
The whole thing’s been a tissue of lies
, Lottie might have said.

When I went to pick Sadie up from school she immediately had a tantrum when I refused to let her watch videos.

That night James came to bed later than ever, but for the first time in days I managed to fall asleep and stay that way all night. He was already gone by the time I woke up, a pair of his used socks on the floor the only sign he’d been in the bedroom. Later that morning a bunch of flowers came for me, delivered by the back door to Downing Street. The flood of bouquets immediately after the attack had slowed to a trickle then stopped, so it was a bit odd for one to come nearly a fortnight later. Things like that were screened by security, checking for cyanide in the petals, I suppose, but as far as I knew nobody checked the note. I opened it upstairs in the flat. Handwritten, it just said
Catseye
, followed by a US number and the numbers 1700.

‘I don’t recognise the area code,’ said Anushka when I showed her the card. ‘But presumably 1700 means five o’clock?’

‘I can’t call it. Not from my phone, nor yours. Definitely not via the switchboard.’

‘What about a payphone? There’s still a couple of those outside the Treasury.’

‘God, no. They monitor those for anyone trying to leak things.’

Anushka looked horrified. ‘Is that what we’re trying to do?’

I didn’t want to drag her into the mess. Who knew where it would end? But I needed her on side. It was difficult to know how much to say. ‘I don’t know who’s going to be on the other end of that number, but I think it might be Gavin Cross. But you have to trust me, I promise I’ll tell you everything, once I’m more sure about things.’

‘No, Ellie, it’s fine. I just want to be clear what I’m getting into, that’s all. I mean, if you and Gavin are, you know..’

‘Having an affair? No, we’re not. For now, let’s just say both of us are worried about what happened in Israel and we need to keep a private channel open between us?’

‘You don’t have to say anything else, Ellie, it’s fine. I just want to be clear who we’re trying to avoid knowing, that’s all.’

‘My husband, primarily. And yes, possibly the security services.’

‘Okay.’

‘And you’re fine with it?’

She smiled at me. ‘Look, there’s a café in the middle of St. James’s Park. We can go down there later, take the kids to feed the ducks. Then you can just go in and ask to use their landline, say yours has run out of charge, or something. They’re not going to say no to you, are they?’

By the time the kids came home from school I’d prepared two polythene bags of torn-up stale bread. Anushka and I went downstairs with Bobby and Sadie, heading for the back door to Number 10. There we were stopped by one of James’s close protection officers who asked us where we were going. He then explained that effective immediately I had to be accompanied by a security attaché whenever I was out of Number 10. ‘Due to an escalation of the threat level,’ he explained.

Anushka frowned. ‘That wasn’t in the morning briefing.’

‘It was only confirmed an hour ago,’ he replied.

‘It’s fine,’ I said, wondering if and how I could still get away with what we’d planned. The five of us walked out the back door, past the security search point and across the road into St. James’s park. Bobbie ran off towards the lake with his breadcrumbs. ‘Don’t run off too far,’ I called. Sadie didn’t seem to have much enthusiasm for the ducks, she seemed happy enough to hold my hand and point at things, reciting their names. ‘Look mummy, a squirrel. Can we take him back to the attic?’ I laughed silently.

We walked further into the park on the lakeside path, our security man keeping a few paces behind Anushka, Sadie and me. The café came into view on our right, just a few metres from the path. ‘I think a coffee’s in order,’ I said to Anushka, who nodded. I turned around to tell the security guard the same, he said he’d just need to go and do a quick recce of the café first, and walked away towards the small building.

‘When Gavin came to Chequers he gave me a photo,’ I said to Anushka, once our bodyguard was out of earshot. ‘It’s of someone I think might be involved in the attack in Israel, somehow.’ I reached into my purse, pulled out the paper with the picture on it and handed it to Anushka.

‘Do you know who she is?’

‘Yes,’ I felt sick. Each time I thought I’d remembered everything, something new seemed to present itself. ‘Her name’s Alana. I met her in a ski resort. We both did.’

‘Really, when?’

‘While I was asleep,’ I said. ‘After the attack.’

Anushka gave me a hard look and was about to say something more but then nodded pointedly, looking over my shoulder. I turned around to find our bodyguard walking back towards us. ‘All clear,’ he said.

We sat on the terrace outside the café, ordered coffees and watched as Bobby continued to throw bread into the lake, occasionally chasing an indignant duck along the edge of the water. Sadie got agitated, and wanted to go down to the lakeside as well. ‘Wait until I’ve finished my coffee,’ I said, but her nagging became incessant.

‘Stop it darling, you’re being a naughty girl,’ I said, before gasping, groaning and bringing my hands to my temples.

Anushka put her mug of tea down. ‘Are you okay?’

‘I think it’s another migraine,’ I said. ‘I don’t feel well,’ I stood up. ‘Actually, I think I need to go to the bathroom. Watch the kids for me, would you?’ Without saying anything I quickly walked into the café, my hand over my mouth. Once inside I slowed down and walked over the counter. The woman at the till clearly recognised me. I gave her my story, would she mind if I made a call? ‘I need to contact my husband urgently,’ I explained.

Of course she was happy to oblige, ushering me behind the counter, through a door which led to the café’s office. ‘Take as long as you need,’ she said, leaving me and closing the door behind her. Immediately I fished out the card, picked up the phone and punched in the number.

‘Ellie?’ Gavin’s voice, talking quietly.

‘Yeah. I’m glad it’s you, I hoped it would be.’ I looked around to make sure the lady wasn’t listening at the door. ‘Gavin, please be careful, I think they might be…’

‘I know, and you don’t have to worry. They can’t hear me, I’m sure of that. I’m in California, at a friend’s house. Tell me what’s been going on.’

After warning Gavin I didn’t have long, I quickly related to him my recollections of being in Naviras, Parliament and the ski resort, along with my conversations with Rav. ‘I think he’s prepared to acknowledge something’s wrong,’ I said. ‘He hasn’t seen as much as me, though, or you. He doesn’t remember as much. He thinks it was a dream.’

‘I don’t think anyone has seen as much as you, Ellie,’ said Gavin. ‘I know you’re the only thing stopping me from feeling like I’m living in a nightmare. You remember the photo I showed you the other week?’

‘Yes, Isabel. I remember her, now. She was with us in the ski resort, but that wasn’t her name. She said it was Alana.’

‘I don’t recall that, not completely. But kind of,’ said Gavin. ‘I asked for a lookup on her. She doesn’t exist, and that’s impossible.’

‘How did you check?’

‘My version of Anushka,’ I could tell Gavin was grinning. ‘But here’s the thing, Ellie. There is one Isabel on file, one that’s inaccessible. It’s classified, with the annotation PT.’

‘I don’t understand.’

‘Neither do I, but that’s what it says; Classifed, PT.’

‘What does PT mean?’

‘That I don’t know, and it’s not a convention I’ve heard of before. My worry is, this Isabel’s been embedded in the White House by somebody, but I can’t make any further inquiries without raising the alarm.’

‘I need to talk to Rav,’ I said. ‘I might be able to discuss this with him the next time I see him. It really depends on when he can get up to the flat,’ I paused. ‘Gavin, there’s one more thing I have to tell you, something I should’ve told you before but I chickened out of it.’ I tried to swallow but my throat was too tight. ‘Something horrible happened to Morgan. I saw it all, and I didn’t tell you, not at the time, when we were there. I should have.’

Silence at the other end for a moment. ‘What happened to her.’

I almost laughed. ‘Giant bees, Gavin. After I saw you in the ski resort, I went somewhere else, where Morgan was being…tortured. And she died, then came back and it all started again.’ I started to cry, the phone shaking in my hand. ‘And I didn’t do anything to help, Gavin. I ran away because I was scared they’d do the same thing to me.’

‘Whoa,’ said Gavin, abruptly. ‘Dear God.’

‘I know!’ I sobbed. ‘It’s horrible to even think about. I know it’s hard to believe, but you have to.’

‘No, it’s not that.’

‘What’s wrong?’

‘Check the news.’

‘I can’t from here.’

‘Oh man, this is disastrous.’

‘Middle East?’

‘Yeah, you should see this. I don’t know when we can talk next. Hopefully soon, but not on these numbers,’ said Gavin before hanging up.

I put the phone down, walked out of the office and back into the café, wiping my eyes with a tissue and thanking the woman as I walked quickly back outside where Anushka and the bodyguard were already on their feet.

‘Are you feeling okay?’ Anushka asked.

‘We have to get back,’ said the bodyguard before I could reply. We had to prise Bobby away from the duck pond and hurry back into Downing Street. The vestibule was deserted – everyone down in the main political office, crowding around a TV and silently watching the news. I asked Anushka to take the kids upstairs. ‘And definitely no calls,’ I muttered.

I didn’t need to ask anyone what had happened, the news channel in the corner of the office had it emblazoned at the bottom of the screen.
Chemical bomb in Jerusalem follows airstrikes in Beirut and Gaza
. I’d seen such brief windows of calm before, Number Ten staff assimilating the facts before the calls would start coming in, the orders shouted outwards. James was standing at the furthest corner of the room from me, leaning against the doorframe to his private office, catching my eye as he barked for Rav. I held his gaze for only a second before turning and walking towards the stairs as Rav came charging down the hallway heading for James’s office. I stopped him, grabbed his arm and drew him close. ‘PT,’ I whispered close to his face. He looked at me, gone out. ‘PT,’ I repeated. ‘I don’t know what it means, but I need you to look into it. Gavin Cross told me.’

Rav nodded and I let go of his arm. We went our separate ways, me climbing the staircase slowly, trying to block out the rising chatter and noise circulating beneath me, which grew louder even as I retreated from it.

I barely saw James for the next three days, although he was spending a couple of hours in the flat each night. He’d come upstairs at about midnight and would work in the living room before eventually turning in at about two. I’d been ambiently aware of him coming to bed, but he always collapsed at the far end of it and went straight to sleep.

I tried to focus on getting through my various appointments and appearances. Rosie’s replacement seemed keen for me to do more, but to his credit made sure I wasn’t asked any awkward questions. Most of the functions scheduled for me were just outside London. I found it hard to get out of the attic every morning, worried I might’ve left something incriminating around. Still it was good to be away from Westminster; people seemed more chipper in the real world. Lots of them wanted to ask me about what’d happened. Conscious of my protection officer constantly hovering, I kept to my story;
I don’t remember much, I’m just glad to be back and getting on with things
. It was quite a tonic, hearing other stories and concerns, especially so during a visit to a hospice where I found people surprisingly chipper, even active. ‘You’re a long time dead,’ one of the patients told me. I had to suppress a laugh.

The following Wednesday Rav came up to the flat at lunchtime, when James was over in Parliament. ‘I’ve looked everywhere and haven’t turned up a thing,’ he said. ‘Nothing untoward at all. I’ve even been through James’ computer, which drew a blank.’

‘He’s been off with me for days, I don’t know if it’s just the workload,’ I wondered out loud.

‘He’s under extreme stress, for sure,’ said Rav. ‘But distant from me, too. He must’ve seen us talking downstairs last week because he asked me about it. I just said you’d told me to look after him during the shitstorm.’

I smiled to myself. ‘Are you absolutely sure there’s no hidden cameras in here?’

Rav sighed. ‘I’m not aware of any. It’s possible, of course, but we have to talk somewhere, and I can’t think of anywhere else that wouldn’t attract attention. Anyway, if they’d bugged this room I’m sure something would’ve happened by now.’

I told him about Isabel in the White House, the annotation on her file. ‘I can’t make inquiries into that sort of thing,’ said Rav. ‘It’d be picked up immediately.’

‘There must be someone you can ask, someone you trust?’