Weekend Surrender (15 page)

“
Like what?” Rogan asked.

“
Well now that I know you want to keep it—”

Sawyer scoffed, and Hudson and Rogan looked horrified,
“Did you really think we wouldn’t?”

Rachel shrugged,
“To be honest, I didn’t know what to expect.  I hoped you would be excited, but seeing as how none of us planned to be parents right now, well, I just didn’t know.”

“
We’re keeping it,” Rogan snapped, looking disgusted that she would have even thought about an alternative.

“
Fine, so we’ll need to talk about the medical bills, because to be honest I’m not sure how I’ll afford them, and what we’re going to name the baby, and how we’re going to work out visitation and custody.”

The temperature in the room suddenly dropped twenty degrees and Rachel would have sworn she could see her own breath
.  All four men now looked at her with anger and frustration.

Rogan jumped in first with both feet
.  “Rachel, you don’t need to concern yourself with the bills.  We are more than well off, and we will handle the costs, whatever they may be.  Custody is a moot point because you and the baby will be living here.  As for the name—”

“
What? Wait, no, you can’t just decide that for me!”

Rogan shook his head and barreled on,
“We’ll need to get busy planning a wedding, and getting your place packed up.”

“
Wait a second, married? What are you talking about?” Rachel’s head began to spin. 

“
But who is she going to marry, bro? I mean there are four of us, and she can only be legally married to one of us.” Sawyer was speaking to Rogan, not to Rachel, and she began to feel like she was having an out of body experience.  She could see herself standing in the middle of them gaping like a fish. 

“
It only makes sense she marry me because I’m the oldest.  It doesn’t really matter what the legal paperwork says, because she would be married in spirit to all of us.  Right, love?”

The look on Rogan
’s face was one of determination, and her stomach rolled.  She clenched her jaw together, slapping her hand over her mouth.  She was stunned when Parker sprang out of his chair and bundled her up into his arms, before she could blink they were in the bathroom, and he was holding her hair as she emptied her stomach into the toilet.  Not particularly graceful, but an unfortunately common occurrence for the last four weeks or so. 

When she eased back onto her heels, feeling weak and trembly, Parker let go of her hair to get a glass of water and a washcloth
.  Tears were rolling down her cheeks as she sat on their bathroom floor feeling overwhelmed.  How could she possibly explain to them that she needed more time to make decisions?

Hudson
and Rogan were both happy about the news and wanted to marry her, but what did she actually feel? Sure, she was excited at the prospect of holding her and their child in her arms.  But was she ready to commit to living and raising a child with them? Sawyer even seemed over the moon about it and it wasn’t even his child.  Weren’t they even a little afraid, or disappointed that it happened this way?  Maybe even angry that things weren’t resolved first?

“
It will all work out you know.”

Parker
.  Her port in the storm.  She could look to him to hold it together, and yet, when she looked up into his eyes all she saw was quiet ambivalence.  Did he really feel the same way his brothers did, or did he think she got pregnant on purpose?

“
Of course it will.  Perhaps not like they hope, but it
will
all work out.” She tried to sound confident, but her insides were still squirming and she knew if she tried to stand up right now her legs wouldn’t hold her.

“
How do you hope it will work out, Rachel? When you came here today, what was it you wanted from us?” Parker asked.  He didn’t move a muscle.  He just sat there, staring at her in that deeply penetrating way that made her feel naked and vulnerable.

Rachel clenched her eyes shut, but tears stilled slipped from under her eyelids
.  What did she want exactly?

“
I suppose I wanted acceptance, joy, support, I don’t know,” she whispered the words because they scared her. 

Parker gave a small nod, and then sighed heavily
.  “Rachel, the day you left…we…well…let’s just say it was rough. I apologize for pushing you so hard that morning, but I thought if we showed you how it could be with us…ah well hindsight is 20/20 right? I want to understand, Rachel, and I truly want to be happy for you and Rogan…or Hudson, but I have to know how you feel about this.  Did you come back here to build a relationship, or just to pass along the news?”

“
I just don’t want to get hurt.”

Parker
’s jaw ticked, and his nostrils flared, “Why are you so sure any of the four of us would hurt you?”

Shame flooded through her, but she didn
’t respond.  What was she supposed to say? All men hurt their women at some point, so I may as well avoid men altogether.  This whole situation was blowing up in her face because of her own issues, and she wasn’t sure how to handle it from here on out. 

“
Can I have a minute to clean up in private.”

For just a moment it looked like Parker was going to refuse, but he vanished out the bathroom door without another word, leaving her crying on the bathroom floor at her own selfish nature and ridiculous fears
. 

****

Nearly ten minutes passed before Rachel emerged from the bathroom with tear stained cheeks, and dull saddened eyes.  Hudson held his hand out to her, but she pretended not to notice it as she took a seat in one of the single chairs, keeping some space between her and the four of them.  It hurt that she was still scared of them, and Hudson was beginning to think things would never be okay again. 

“
I just want to say a couple of things,” Rachel’s voice was stronger than her eyes, and Hudson held his breath waiting for her to drop the hammer, “I have deep feelings for you guys, all four of you, but I’m not ready to get married and move in here.  And just for the record that was the shittiest proposal I’ve ever heard of.  Yes, I’m pregnant, but that doesn’t mean I have to make rash decisions.  If you four can forgive me for running away from you, I can promise you that I won’t pull a stunt like that again without talking to you first.  I don’t know if this is forever, but…”

Hudson planned on Rachel being his wife, but she was right
.  She deserved more than an assumed marriage proposal.  He wanted to give her wine and candlelight and rose petals when they asked her to marry them, but more importantly, he wanted to see love and not hesitation in her eyes when they did it. 

“
Forever is what we want with you, Rachel, but if you need a little more time we’ll give it to you,” Sawyer said, and Hudson nodded his agreement along with Parker and Rogan.

For the first time Rachel gave them an honest smile, and relief glowed from her eyes
.  “Thank you, that’s all I can ask.”

The group came back to life as
Rogan grumbled to Parker about their marriage proposal being the shittiest versus practical, and Sawyer went to Rachel, pulling her up into his arms for a hug.  His attempts to kiss her were thwarted and she groaned.  “Not a chance! I just spent the last few minutes throwing up.”

Sawyer looked disgruntled, and Hudson smacked his arm,
“Bro, go get her a toothbrush from the medicine cabinet.  She will kiss you when she’s clean.”

Rachel giggled as Sawyer headed off in search of the requested toothbrush, and Hudson took her hand
.  “Are you having a lot of morning sickness, honey?”

“
Some, but it’s not always in the mornings.  I seem to get sick to my stomach every time I get emotional, and every time I smell eggs,” she answered, letting him pull her against his chest.  He buried his nose into her hair, deeply inhaling the sweet scent that was all her own, and sighed with pleasure when she wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him back. 

“
I guess that means I’m not cooking breakfast for you in the morning,” Sawyer said, coming back in and handing her a brand new toothbrush.

“
I can’t stay the night tonight, guys.  I have a meeting tomorrow morning at eight with the Rafts.  Randal finally signed the paperwork with me to sell their place, and I need to go over and work out an open house schedule.”

Hudson nodded, and kissed her forehead
.  “That’s okay, honey, we understand.  But we would like you to spend more time out here at the ranch.  Hopefully someday you’ll feel like this is your home too.  Now, when did you say that first doctor’s appointment was?”

Rachel sat in
Diana Raft’s kitchen the next morning holding a cup of coffee in her hands while Randal and Diana looked over the paperwork for their listing.  The ranch was large, and it was a prime piece of grazing land, but the house and barn needed a lot of work.  By the disappointed look on Randal’s face, Rachel knew he was expecting to list the place for more money than it was worth. 

“
Are you sure that’s the right figure?” he asked her, squinting at the numbers.

She nodded,
“Yeah.  I’m sorry, Randal, but you know that home values are down.  We can list it for a higher number, but I’m afraid it will just sit here for months.  I know how much you guys want to get moved to be closer to your daughter.” She let her voice drift off, not wanting to point out the abbreviated amount of the time that Diana had left in this world. 

“
I just hate to see it get undervalued.  If I’m going to sell it, then I want to get what it’s really worth,” he argued, dropping the paper to pinch the bridge of his nose.

“
Randy, we’ve lived here for almost forty years.  Forty great years, but the value you think it has is sentimental.  It’s time to let another family build their memories on this land.” Diana was the voice of reason in this relationship, and Rachel watched in awe as the woman talked her husband down.  “Besides, you and I both know this house isn’t worth anything.  It’s the land that has value.  There are several prosperous ranches around us that would be glad to take it off our hands.  I want to go see Breanna, darling.  You said yourself it’s important the next few months be spent with our family.”

Randal reached out to take
Diana’s hand in his own and he brought it to his lips in a gesture that reminded Rachel of her own four men.  When the older gentleman finally turned his attention back to Rachel, he had tears in his eyes.  “Done.  Nothing is more important than my woman.  Is there anything else I need to sign?”

“
No, Randal, you’ve signed it all.  I just wanted to make sure we were all on the same page before the listing goes up Monday morning.  I’ll want to have an open house next weekend if that’s alright with you both.”

Diana
and Randal both nodded.  “I’ll start packing some stuff up to ship to Bre this week, and Randy can make sure the barn is cleaned up.”

“
Now don’t go wearing yourself out, Diana-doll.  We can hire someone in here to do the packing.” Randal flashed a smile at Rachel, “Silly woman still thinks she can do everything herself.”

“
Oh I can still manage my own packing.  Now that I’m not doing the treatments anymore I have a little more strength.” Diana directed the last statement to Rachel who nodded politely. 

“
Well, I better get back to work.  Tanner Kegan is coming by later to look at the last of the herd.  I think he’s going to buy the tractor too.  No sense keeping it when we won’t be tilling up the land.” Randal kissed his wife and then waved goodbye to Rachel before hurrying out of the house.

After a pause the back screen door slammed shut behind him, and
Diana let out her breath in a whoosh.  She gave Rachel a half smile, “I’m sorry, he’s struggling with all of this.  It’s been so hard on him.”

“
It’s okay, Diana.  I do understand.  I can’t even imagine how hard it is for both of you.” Rachel tried not to let the pity she was feeling show.  Diana was such a strong woman, even sitting across from her with her hair in thin patchy clumps, and her arms bruised and pocked from IV pokes.  She looked proud and determined to defeat the demons invading her world.  Only, Rachel knew this demon was undefeatable.  Cancer was going to be the thing to bring Diana down.

“
I have loved that man for more than four decades.  We raised two children together, buried one of them, watched the other get married and move across the country, and now we’re at the end, just trying to hold on for one more precious minute.” Diana played with the gold band that hung loosely on the ring finger of her left hand, spinning it around and around her thin finger. 

Rachel
’s heart lurched in her chest at the love and pain that radiated from the woman.  “I admire you so much, Diana.  I hope someday I can have a love like yours and Randal’s.”

That seemed to perk
Diana up, and she narrowed her eyes on Rachel.  “I’ve heard the rumors, Rach.  There is something between you and those Brooks boys.”

A blush of embarrassment warmed Rachel
’s cheeks, but she didn’t deny it.  What was the point? She was having a baby with one of them, and the whole town would know it soon enough.  “I care about them.”

Diana
watched her with her head tipped and her hand holding her chin thoughtfully.  “You know, the day I agreed to marry Randal was the same day I broke off my engagement to another man.  I actually left him standing at the church in his suit and tie waiting to say the ‘I do’s’. I had been seeing Randal behind Gary’s back, and most of the town knew it.  I wasn’t brave enough to admit my feelings to either of them, until it was almost too late.”

Rachel listened in silent surprise
.  Diana was a pillar of the community, so it was odd to think she might have been the source of scandal at any point in her life. 

“
The only other time I’ve done something so stupid, was when I found out I was sick and didn’t tell Randal right away.  I thought I was protecting him, but ultimately I was denying him some of the precious time he needed to deal with his own feelings and grieve for me.” Diana stared past Rachel’s head as she spoke, lost in her own world of pain.  “If you care for them, Rachel, do yourself and them the courtesy of being honest about it.  Don’t let time slip away from you, because one day you look around, and it’s all over.  You can’t back up and start again, or change the course…you just have to live it out and let it happen.”

Tears spilled out of Rachel
’s eyes and down her cheeks.  Her pregnancy emotions seemed to be more and more chaotic, and Diana was hitting a nerve.  “I’m in love with them.”

Diana
smiled softly, “All four of them, right?” At Rachel’s nod, Diana let out a small laugh, “I suspected as much.  Those four do everything together, so it only made sense they would want to share the same woman.  So what’s the problem? Why are you telling me and not them?”

“
You know about my dad.” Rachel grimaced when Diana nodded.  “He has another family now, a couple of a kids and a happy life, but he hasn’t spoken to me in years.  My mom and him seemed so happy right up until he just all of a sudden fell out of love with her.  How does that happen? How do you go from loving something enough to pledge the rest of your life to them, and then suddenly one day, you just don’t anymore?”

“
It’s different for everyone, Rachel, but you were young when that all happened.  It’s possible you don’t know the whole story between your parents.  Have you ever asked them?”

Rachel frowned,
“I know enough.  And besides, it’s not just my dad.  Every man I’ve ever trusted has cheated on me or betrayed my trust.  Mitch was just the most recent mistake I’ve made, but he sure wasn’t the first.  I can’t let myself keep getting hurt.”

Diana
gave her a disapproving frown.  “I probably should keep my mouth shut but, Rachel, you’re being silly.  Can’t you see that it’s not all men, it’s just the men you’ve picked? Your picker is off, girl! Now, from what I hear, the Brooks boys seduced you, which means you didn’t do the picking.  I would say that means there is a better chance of this being a good relationship.  Do you trust them?”

“
Yes,” Rachel said without any hesitation.

“
Then go to them.  Tell them.  Don’t wait until it’s too late to realize what love is.  Love is trusting the other person enough to put your heart in their hands, but it’s also coming to the understanding that
you
hold
their
heart in your hands, and can do them irreparable damage.”

Rachel sat silently mulling over
Diana’s words, and staring into her cup of coffee like it was a magic eight ball and she was waiting for the right answer. Diana seemed to sense that she had said enough, because she stood and carried her own mug to the sink. 

“
And, Rachel,” when Rachel finally looked up the woman smiled, “coffee isn’t good for the baby.  You should cut your caffeine intake.”

Rachel felt her face drain of blood as she stared into the other woman
’s cloudy blue eyes.  “What?”

“
Oh, did you think I couldn’t tell? Sweetie, I’ve had two babies of my own, and you’re moping around like a hurt mama bear.  How far along are you?”

“
Eight weeks,” Rachel whispered. 

Diana
’s smile was wide, and she nodded.  “Well, I won’t make it to see your little one, but I hope that you and its fathers will be very happy together for as many years as Randy and I have been.”

“
Thank you, Diana.  You’ve been…well…you’ve given me some food for thought.”

“
You’re welcome, Rachel.  We’ll see you next weekend.”

With that, Rachel gathered her things, and made a beeline for Brooks Pastures
.  She had just realized that she had a few more things to say to her men.

****

Rachel arrived at the ranch to find a strange man she hadn’t met in the barn.  The excitement burning in her chest eased a little as she frowned at the stranger.  He was big.  Bigger than any of the four Brooks brothers—and that was saying a lot.  Rachel nearly swallowed her tongue as she took in the wide shoulders that looked like they wouldn’t even fit through a doorway.  Blonde curls peeked out from under a worn red bandana that was damp with sweat, and his body was hunched over as he worked silently.

“
Hello?”

The man looked up from the saddle he was working on and
she got a glimpse of gorgeous blue eyes and a pair of matching dimples as he grinned, “Hi! You must be Rachel.  The boys were telling me about you.  I’m Mack Thompson.  You’ve got them all tied up in knots, little lady.”

Rachel liked him immediately, and moved closer to watch him as he tooled the leather
.  “They have been pretty crazy too, that’s beautiful.  Did you do all of that?”

Mack nodded,
“Yeah, it’s kind of a hobby.”

“
So, I haven’t seen you in town, Mack, how long have you been in Stone River?”

“
I met Parker at the club a couple of years back, and after my leather business went belly up last summer he offered me a job on the ranch.  I’ve only been her a few months, and I’m not much for socializing.  I stay around here most of the time.”

Rachel frowned,
“What club?”

The blush of embarrassment that stole up Mack
’s cheeks caught her off guard, and he glanced away.  “Um, well, uh…that would be The Cage.  It’s a BDSM club.”

“
Oh….
oh
!” Now Rachel felt a little embarrassed herself.  There was an awkward pause before she changed the subject.  “Do you know where the guys are?”

“
Yeah, they are out on the West line, by the pond.  There was some fencing that got damaged when a tree fell over in the storm last week.”

Rachel nodded, and then frowned
.  “Do you think I can borrow a horse? I really need to talk to them.”

Mack
’s eyes squinted just a minute as he evaluated her question before he agreed.  “Done, but if they ask how you did it, leave my name out of it.  The rules I got were to keep you safe when you were around, and I doubt they meant letting you ride off alone.”

Rachel rolled her eyes,
“It will be our little secret, Mack.  I promise!”