Wednesday (Timeless Series #3) (18 page)

On The Town

Hawke

“Dude, I miss my wife.” Axel walked down the strip beside me, his hands in the pockets of his jeans. He was kicking a rock as he went, playing a strange game of soccer.

“What’s she up to?”

“One of her coworkers got promoted so she went out to celebrate.”

“Why doesn’t she just take you along?”

“She says I’m too clingy.” He rolled his eyes. “Whatever that means.”

He probably shoved his tongue down her throat when she was trying to talk to her boss. I could picture it. “Why don’t we swing by? You can say hi.” I’d been spending a lot of time with Axel lately. The one person I really wanted to be with was unavailable. She was probably with Kyle right that second, doing something I didn’t want to think about.

She wore that locket everywhere she went, so I knew I still had a chance—despite what she said. When that locket came off, I’d be in trouble. Until then, I had a reason to keep trying.

There were two brunettes standing together in skin-tight dresses. They spoke quietly to each other, waiting for someone as they stood outside the piano bar. I glanced their way in the hope one of them was Francesca, but when it wasn’t, I looked away.

“That one in purple is checking you out.”

“Thanks.” There was a wad of gum on the pavement so I maneuvered around it.

“You aren’t going for it?” Axel stopped kicking his rock and turned his attention on me.

“Nah.” Being with another woman might make Francesca jealous enough to come back to me but it wasn’t a risk I was willing to take. I’d gone six months without human touch. If that wasn’t a declaration of my love for her, I didn’t know what was.

“Excuse me?” A feminine voice with a French accent came to my ears.

We both turned to see the woman in the black dress.

Axel immediately held up his left ring finger. “Sorry, sweetheart. But I’m off the market. I’ve been married for almost a year now.”

“Uh…good to know.” She dogged him before she turned to me. “Do you have the time?”

“Sure.” I pulled back my sleeve and looked at my watch. “It’s nine fifteen.”

“Is it also time for you to ask for my number?” She held her hands together in front of her ribs, looking thin and curvy at the same time. Her skin was dark like she laid at the pool on a daily basis. She was beautiful.

But she wasn’t Francesca.

“You’re a very beautiful woman and I’m flattered, but I’m not available.”

“Huh?” Axel whispered.

“Take care.” I turned away and kept walking.

Axel came to my side until our shoulders were touching. “What the hell was that? You are available.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Francesca is dating Kyle. You’re free to do whatever you want.”

“But I don’t want to be with anyone else. She’s it.”

“Dude, she’s got to be a Victoria Secret model or something.”

“Probably.” She fit the bill.

“So, what the hell are you doing? It was so hot when girls would come on to me.”

I found it attractive too.

“Is this a stunt to get Francesca back? Because it’s not going to work.”

“No, it’s not an act. I genuinely don’t want to be with someone unless it’s her.” I stuck my hands in my pockets. “I haven’t been with anyone since we broke up—except my hand.”

“Say what?” He stopped in his tracks. “Six months without sex?”

“Yeah.” It wasn’t that hard when you were miserable anyway.

“Does she know this?”

“I told her.”

He rubbed his temple like this information was too much to handle.

“If Marie left, would you have sex with anyone else?”

“No, but that’s different. I married her.”

“Well, I was going to marry Francesca. Remember?”

“Yeah…”

“It’s the same thing to me.”

Axel shook his head before he began walking again. “I’ll never understand the two of you, and I’m not going to bother trying. If you love this woman so much, why did you leave her?”

“I didn’t leave her,” I said quietly. “That was someone else—a man that I’m not proud of. He’s the other version of me, the dark and twisted one who’s a product of a bad marriage, alcohol abuse, and violence. He comes back from time to time.”

“Won’t he just come back again later?”

“No.” I’d figure out a way to prevent that from happening again. If I found a solution, Francesca might come back to me. “I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen.”

***

Making an appointment to speak with a shrink was a difficult decision. I was a man of few words, and I said even less when it came to a professional stranger. But I didn’t know what else to do.

Dr. Katie Goodwin was nothing like I pictured a shrink to be. She was fairly young, not a day over thirty. She had dark brown hair similar to Francesca’s and the vigor of someone still in their prime. Knowing we were close in age made it a little easier. The last thing I wanted was an old, judgmental therapist who thought they’d already seen everything.

Katie rested her notepad on her knee with her legs crossed. She watched me carefully, but not in an intrusive way. There was a balance she maintained, getting close to me but never intimate. “Hawke, what did you want to talk about?”

I would never do something like this unless I absolutely had to. Francesca was the only person I could be open with, but she wasn’t around anymore. “I…I have a problem.”

“What kind of problem?”

“An anger problem.”

“Why do you say that?”

I told her about my childhood and everything that happened up to my mother’s funeral. My father was cremated but I wasn’t sure what happened after that. I never claimed his remains.

Katie didn’t have any kind of reaction. She didn’t seem horrified or even remotely surprised. She probably heard people confess to wanting to murder their loved ones on a daily basis.

“I left Francesca because I was so livid, frustrated, and…I don’t know. I guess I was afraid I might lash out at her and hurt her.” If I ever made a scratch on her smooth skin, I’d throw myself off a building.

“Have you hurt someone in the past?”

I kept one ankle resting on the opposite knee. “My father. Whenever he came after my mother, I did what I had to do.”

“Other than him?”

I shook my head.

“Then why do you think you might hurt Francesca?”

Given someone’s full attention was daunting. “I look just like my father, I have his name, and I have his temper. I’m afraid…I’ll turn into him.”

“Do you want that to happen?”

I shook my head.

“Then don’t let it happen.”

“When I get angry…it’s hard for me to control it.”

“Eliminate the things that make you angry.”

She made it sound so simple.

“And if they do happen, clear your mind. Think of something calm and soothing…perhaps this woman.”

Francesca was soothing. “I want her back but she won’t give me another chance, not that I blame her.”

“Is she afraid of you?”

“Not physically. But she thinks I’ll walk out on her again.”

“Will you?”

I shook my head. “No. I never want to do that again. But she doesn’t believe me.”

“You think coming here will change her mind?”

“Maybe if I can get to the root of the problem, fix my anger, she would reconsider.”

She nodded then made a few notes. “You’re doing this for love.”

“I guess…”

“Then you have nothing to worry about. You’re nothing like your father and never will be. These insecurities stem from your thoughts, not real events. The moment you start to believe in yourself, these episodes should disappear.”

“You think?”

“Yes.” She made a few more notes. “And perhaps you purposely sabotaged your relationship with Francesca out of guilt. You feel responsible for your mother’s death, and to compensate for that, you’re punishing yourself. You think you deserve this.”

“I guess.”

“Hawke, what happened to your mother was tragic but you can’t blame yourself for it. You gave her every opportunity to leave but she didn’t take it. Instead of getting law enforcement involved, she downplayed the abuse. And when she was taken to the hospital the first time, she still forgave him. All of those things were out of your control.”

I stared out the window and watched a man in his office in the neighboring building. He sipped his coffee then returned to typing on the keyboard.

“What else could you have done?”

I slowly turned my head back to her. “Dragged her out.”

“Against her will? Wouldn’t she have just returned home the moment you were gone? That doesn’t sound like a plausible solution.”

“I could have called the police anyway.”

“So she could deny everything when they showed up on her doorstep?”

“I don’t know. I could have done something.”

“That’s what I’m trying to show you, Hawke. There was nothing you could do. You’re carrying a weight on your shoulders that shouldn’t be there. Once you let it go, you’ll be able to breathe easier.”

There was one solution she didn’t consider. “I could have killed him first.”

Katie didn’t show outrage like a normal person should. She remained as calm as ever. “So you could spend the rest of your life in jail?”

“I could have made it look like an accident.”

“Then you would be carrying that weight.”

“I wouldn’t have felt guilty about it.”

“Not right away,” she said. “But eventually, yes. I have a lot of clients, Hawke. Some of them are emotionally unstable, and some of them are considered dangerous. You fall into neither category. You’re upset over what happened, but you aren’t a killer. That wasn’t an option, and we both know it.”

Memories

Francesca

It was nearly noon when Kyle walked inside. “What’s the genius working on now?”

“Genius?” No one had ever called me that before.

“Yeah.” His arms wrapped around me when he gave me a hard kiss on the mouth.  “You know, geek. Same thing.”

I wiped my thumb across his lips and smeared frosting everywhere.

“Mmm…” He licked it away then pulled my thumb into his mouth. “That’s delicious.” He sucked my finger dry before he moved another one inside.

This tongue tickled my skin slightly so I pulled my hand away. “You can eat right out of the bowl.”

“I’d rather eat off of you.” He wiped a spoonful on my neck then licked it off.

The affection felt nice but I was worried an employee would walk in. “Did you come here for a reason?”

“Do I need to have a reason?”

“No. Just don’t slow me down.” I turned back to the pan and poured the batter inside.

He came behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. “Have plans this weekend?”

“No. Just sleeping.” Kyle and I never revisited the argument we had the previous week. He dropped it the second Hawke appeared and never brought it up again. He must have realized he would have lost the argument anyway.

“Well, would you like to sleep with me?” He pressed his lips against my ear, his lips brushing the shell as he spoke.

“Always.”

“How about we do all this sleeping at my beach house?”

“I forgot about that. You still have it?”

“I do. And I want to make love to you all over it.”

“What about on the beach? I’ve never done that before.”

“We can give it a try,” he said. “But sand will get everywhere. You’ve been warned.”

“We’ll just have to shower afterward.”

He snapped his fingers. “I like your thinking. So, let’s clean up here and get going.”

I chuckled. “I still have to finish the workday.”

“You’re the boss. You do whatever you want.”

“Yes, but I’m not a lazy one like you. I have a lot of stuff that needs to get done.”

“So serious all the time.” He moved his hand to my ass and rubbed it gently. “I’ll pick you up later tonight.”

“Okay. Be warned, I pack a lot of crap.”

He squeezed my ass then kissed me on the cheek. “Yeah, I remember.”

***

Kyle unlocked the door then we walked inside. The place was exactly as I remembered it, sleek and nice. The large back window faced the pool and the ocean, the sand just beyond that. Everything was clean because no one was ever there. “Home sweet home.”

“I’m surprised you don’t just live here.”

“Eh. Gets boring after a while. And it’s a lot more fun when I have a hot date.” He carried the bags inside and set them in the entryway.

“You bring a lot of girls here?”

“Not a lot. Just the ones who are good in the sack.” He winked then turned on all the lights.

If I had a beach house, I’d probably shack up with a ton of guys too. “What should we do first?”

“What do you want to do?”

I peeked through the back window. “I think I want to go skinny dipping in that hot tub…”

“That sounds like a great idea.” He stripped down to his briefs then walked outside.

“People might see you.”

He looked beyond his backyard to the sand and the water. “What people?”

***

We laid in bed for most of the day. We had a quick breakfast of toast before we got under the covers again. We shared a book together then played a game on his iPhone. With Kyle, we never really did anything but the time still flew by.

His phone rang and his mother’s name appeared on the screen.

He answered it immediately. “Yo, Mom. What’s up?”

Her voice could he heard through the speaker. “Hey, sweetheart. What are you up to?”

“Nothing much. Just being lazy like always.”

“My son is never lazy.”

I had to stop myself from chuckling.

“What are you doing? Going shopping?”

“Rick is off on a business meeting so I’m home today.” She sighed at the end of her sentence, like being alone in a mansion was torture.

“I’m staying at the beach house this weekend. Want to have dinner?”

The idea of seeing his mom again gave me anxiety. I doubted she wanted to see me.

“Oh, I would love that.” Her voice lit up like a Christmas tree. “I love seeing that handsome face of yours.”

“You and everyone else on this planet,” he said with a chuckle. “I have a sexy lady with me and I’m going to bring her along.”

“Really?” Now she sounded even more excited.

I shook my head vigorously, telling him I wasn’t going to dinner.

“Yeah.” He shrugged then ignored me.

“Who’s this girl?”

“Actually, it’s Francesca. I’m sure you remember her.”

“Oh…yes, I do.”

I couldn’t tell what that reaction meant. It wasn’t clear if she was revolted by the idea or intrigued. If it were me, I’d be pissed if my son was dating a girl that left him in the past.

“How about that Mediterranean place you like?” he said. “That hummus rocks.”

“I think that’s a great idea. I look forward to seeing both of you.”

“Me too.”

“Love you, sweetheart.”

“Love you too, Mom.” He hung up and tossed the phone on the bed.

“What the hell?” I sat up, pissed I was forced into this dinner.

“What?” he asked innocently.

“You really think it’s a good idea to have dinner with your mom?”

“Why not?” he asked. “You don’t like her?”

“Of course I do. But do you think we’re ready for that?”

“I don’t see what the big deal is. My mom has already met you, and I hang out with Axel pretty often.”

“Doesn’t she hate me?”

“Hate you?” he said the words in an awkward way like he’d never spoken them before. “Not at all. Why would you think that?”

“Because we broke up…”

“I told my mom it didn’t work out. I didn’t give her any details.”

“But, she doesn’t dislike me for leaving in the first place?”

“Honestly, I don’t know what my mother thinks. I don’t really pick her brain about it.” He propped himself up on one arm. “But I really doubt she feels that way. Of all people, she knows love can be complicated. If you’re the only girl I’ve ever brought around, then she knows there’s something special about you. She trusts my judgment.”

I couldn’t fight the feeling in my chest, the stress that wrecked my entire body. What if this dinner was a complete nightmare? I agreed to a relaxing trip to the beach, not hanging out with his mom.

Kyle saw the uneasiness in my eyes. “I’m sorry. I should have asked you first.”

“It’s okay.”

“You don’t have to come if you don’t want to. I’ll say you aren’t feeling well or something.”

“No, you don’t need to do that. I’ll be there.”

“Are you sure?”

I nodded. “Yes.” Kyle’s mother was important to him, and I witnessed their close relationship the first time I was around them both. I wouldn’t put a wedge between them.

“I think we’ll have a good time.”

“Yeah.”

“And if we don’t…I’ll make it up to you.” His lips grazed the valley between my breasts.

“Orgasms are the best way to fix any problem.”

“They really are.”

***

The moment his mother walked in, she hugged Kyle like she hadn’t seen him in forever. “My baby.” She squeezed him like a teddy bear. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Mom.”

Did they not see each other much?

“Mom, you remember Francesca?” Kyle turned to me, giving me a look of support.

“Of course. I could never forget.” The smile on her face seemed genuine, and there wasn’t resentment in her eyes. She pulled me into a hug and held me firmly, like she missed me as much as she missed him. “It’s great to see you again.”

Kyle mouthed to me behind her back. “Told you.”

I narrowed my eyes at him.

She pulled away and looked at my outfit. “Your dress is very cute.”

“Thank you.”

“Here you go, Mom.” Kyle pulled out a chair for her.

“Thank you, dear.” She sat down then picked up a menu.

Kyle quickly came to my side and pulled out a chair for me as well.

I held back the smartass comment that came to mind and took a seat.

Kyle sat beside me then rested his hand on my thigh under the table. “So, what’s new?”

“Nothing much,” she said. “I did some landscaping for the house, new flowers and stuff.”

“What kind?” I said.

“Hydrangeas.” Her blonde hair was shorter than it was last time I saw her. She seemed thinner as well, even though she was already on the slender side. “Some pink and purple ones. I needed some color since the house is fairly plain.”

She thought her mansion was plain?

“Gardening is good,” Kyle said. “I’ve never had a knack for it.”

“Your sister was so good at it. Her garden felt like a completely different world.”

His sister? Kyle had a sister?

“Yeah,” Kyle said. “I remember. Her cucumbers were practically the size of melons. I still think she buried dead bodies back there to fertilize them.”

Why did they keep talking about her in past tense?

His mother’s eyes trailed off, distant with old memories.

Kyle cleared his throat then opened the menu. “I’m getting a fruity drink tonight. Maybe a mai tai.”

“That sounds delicious,” his mother said. “I’ll have one too.”

“Talk about peer pressure,” I said. “I guess I’m in.”

His mother chuckled. “What have you been up to, Francesca?”

“I’m thinking of opening another shop. My business has really grown and now the building isn’t big enough to hold the customers.”

“A good problem to have,” she said. “I remember when Kyle’s father opened his law firm. It was a small little office in the back of a deli. It was all he could afford at the time. But over the years, his business grew into the law firm it is now.”

“That’s amazing,” I said. “He must have been a great lawyer.”

“He was awesome,” Kyle said. “The best lawyer I’ve ever known. He never lost a case.”

“Really?” I asked.

“Not once,” Kyle said. “He had a perfect record. That’s unheard of.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah,” Kyle said proudly. “He was badass.”

“He was a great man,” his mother said. “Truly. I’m so grateful I have a son that shares his likeness so much.”

Kyle looked away, clearly touched by the compliment.

I wanted to ask about his sister but I decided to do it later. Maybe it was too personal to mention in front of his mom. But then again, Kyle would have told me about her if he wanted me to know. Maybe he wasn’t ready to talk about it at all. I’d never got into detail about my parents. Kyle just knew they passed away but he didn’t know the specifics.

Kyle looked at the menu I was holding. “Baby, what are you getting?”

He called me baby right in front of his mom but I didn’t react. “I don’t know. What do you recommend?”

“I always get the chicken kabobs,” he said. “Mom gets the vegetable panini.”

“Hmm…chicken sounds pretty good.”

“You’ll like anything you order here,” he said. “This place is awesome. Dad and I used to come here all the time.”

I closed the menu and set it down. “Then it sounds like I made a good choice.”

“You did.” He kissed my hairline and squeezed my thigh at the same time. Then he turned his gaze out the window and looked to the sea.

When I looked up, his mother was staring at me. She had a wide smile on her lips, and she looked happier than I’d ever seen her.

***

“Told you. You were being paranoid over nothing.” Kyle headed into the bedroom and stripped his clothes off, like he couldn’t wait to get back into bed.

“I guess.” I grabbed a t-shirt from one of his drawers and changed before I got into bed beside him.

“My mom doesn’t dislike people. She just doesn’t think that way.”

“Everyone thinks that way—whether you want to admit it or not.”

“Well, whatever,” he said. “We had a great time like I thought we would.” He spooned me from behind and wrapped his thick arm around my waist. The bedroom window was cracked so we could hear the ocean waves.

The subject of his sister never left my mind. It wasn’t like me to be nosey but I was curious as to what happened to her. It was clear she was no longer on this side of the living. “Can I ask you something personal?”