Wedding-Night Baby (14 page)

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Authors: Kim Lawrence

BOOK: Wedding-Night Baby
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‘You're a very sensual woman and being pregnant hasn't altered that,' he said in a clipped tone. ‘I believe some women even find their appetites increase at these times.' The light in his blue eyes as they ran almost compulsively over her made her heart thud. ‘I think you look beautiful and desirable.'
He raised his hand to his forehead and closed his eyes. She saw the muscles in his throat work as he swallowed. ‘You'd better sleep, Georgina,' he said heavily, getting up. He scribbled down a number on a pad and ripped off the paper. ‘If you need anything ring me. I'll contact your mother and let her know what's going on.'
 
Callum took charge and Georgina was in no position to argue. The room was filled with fresh flowers every day, a gesture which might have meant something if she hadn't been convinced that Mary did this on his behalf.
He'd gained an ally in her mother, whom he'd housed in a luxurious hotel for the duration of her daughter's stay in hospital. Lydia visited her every day and was full of praise for him. She couldn't understand her daughter's stubborn rejection of the father of her child. In her opinion Callum was everything any woman could wish for and the way she dropped heavy hints concerning weddings when he was present made Georgina want to curl up and die from pure embarrassment.
What could she say? That he'd tricked her and she'd thought he was an escort hired by the hour? She couldn't defend her behaviour to anyone else when she still found it inexplicable. She still had some pride left! Despite Callum's
reassurances she felt uneasy, convinced he wanted this child minus its mother.
Callum came every day, the perfect, attentive father, and only Georgina knew how deceptive appearances were. The last evening of her stay they sat in uncomfortable silence for half an hour. She gazed blankly at the pages of a glossy magazine, giving monosyllabic replies to all of his attempts to start a conversation.
‘Cut it out, Georgina,' he said suddenly, removing the magazine from her fingers. ‘You've proved your point—you don't like me,' he said heavily. He sat on the edge of the bed, his expression grave. ‘I think it's time you started acting like a grown-up and thought about the future. We've got to put aside personal feeling and animosity and consider the child. He or she has to be the first consideration.'
Georgina's belligerent expression faded. The future was still something that frightened her. She hadn't wanted to think beyond the safety of the hospital bed.
‘My childhood was disrupted by the wranglings of my parents. My mother never once stopped to think what effect her behaviour had on me. Even if Dad had taken the matter as far as court, in those days it was inevitable that the mother was given custody, unless the circumstances were extraordinary. Things are different now.'
‘What are you trying to say?' she asked, going deathly pale. I should have known, she thought, swinging her legs over the side of the bed; he wants the baby without me. . .the unfit mother.
‘What the hell are you doing?' he said, his fingers closing around her ankles. He lifted her legs back onto the bed and regarded her as if she'd taken leave of her senses.
‘I won't let you take this baby away from me,' she said huskily, drawing her ankles up, away from the contact with his fingers.
Callum's mouth tightened as he surveyed her pale, tense
features. ‘I wasn't talking about taking the child away, Georgina.'
She eyed him with distrust. ‘You were quite voluble about my unfitness to be a mother.'
‘One look at your face when you thought you were losing the baby was enough to make me realise I was wrong,' he said roughly.
Georgina stared at him in amazement. She could see he resented the admission, but at least he'd made it. Still, she wouldn't lower her defences.
‘I was trying to say that a child needs a secure environment,' he continued. ‘The last thing I'd subject any child of mine to would be being a pawn in a parental power game. A child needs both parents.'
Georgina trembled. What was he suggesting? ‘A child wouldn't feel very secure with parents who actively disliked one another. You're not suggesting we stay together for the sake of the baby?' Her voice rose in shrill incredulity. ‘My parents tried that for me, with painful consequences. '
‘We're talking about us, not your parents. It seems the logical solution.'
‘Who is refusing to learn from history now?' she accused him. It hurt that he could sound so pragmatic. Constantly required to live a lie...no, she couldn't bear it! ‘It's an insane idea.'
Tm not suggesting marriage,' he said, visibly impatient at her uncooperative attitude.
‘Should I be grateful for small mercies?' she asked hoarsely.
‘Save the sarcasm, Georgina,' he said, his face tight with anger. ‘We've made a life between us and we have to adjust our own accordingly.'
Even if it didn't suit him, she added silently. He wanted
this child and she went with it. Feeling as she did, she couldn't risk constant exposure to him.
‘You might find it's not so bad as you think,' he observed drily as he stared at her pale, drawn face. ‘It would be hard for you as a single parent.'
‘I've sold the shares Oliver left me,' she said, fighting against the moral blackmail he was so subtly applying. If she disagreed with him, she didn't have the baby's best interests at heart. If she did agree...wasn't there the possibility she wanted to agree just to stay close to him? ‘I'll have more than a lot of single parents.'
‘You should have waited a couple of months,' he said, his expression showing distaste at the mention of her inheritance. ‘You'd have made more profit.'
Not as bad as she thought? It could only be worse! she thought wildly, not really hearing what he was saying. Not least because, to some self-destructive corner of her mind, the prospect of seeing him frequently was incredibly attractive. I'm pathetic, she thought, sick with self-disgust.
‘I'll be back at work soon.' The logistics of that prospect were so mind-bogglingly difficult that she didn't feel any of the certainty expressed in her voice.
‘If you're so anxious to continue your career, all the more reason to involve me. I can make it a lot easier for you to carry on up the slippery pole.'
‘I can get where I want to be on my own merit.'
‘An attitude which does you credit,' he said, his lip curling with contemptuous disbelief. She flushed at the implied insult. ‘One way or another, Georgina, I will be part of this child's life. I make a bad enemy.' Smooth as a knife-thrust, his words slid home.
She shivered; when he spoke like that it was hard to believe that everything he said wouldn't come to pass simply through the indomitable force of his will.
‘You can't
want
to play happy families, Callum.'
‘I want to do whatever I have to to give this child a stable environment,' he said heavily.
She stiffened as his hand reached out to cover her abdomen in a powerfully possessive gesture. The strange sensation that hit her made her feel light-headed. She had felt isolated lately by the things that were taking place in her own body. His touch made it feel as if she was sharing them for the first time. It wasn't entirely unpleasant, she realised as she lifted her dazed eyes to his face.
‘You need me, Georgina; why is it so hard to admit it?' His blue eyes blazed with an intense emotion that she couldn't quite decipher. ‘She moved.' His hands suddenly jerked clear.
‘It's all right,' she said, catching his hand and guiding it back to her belly. ‘You seem sure it's a girl.'
Callum's eyes gleamed with satisfaction at her instinctive gesture. ‘I think she is,' he agreed softly. ‘Let me look after you now?'
A frown between her brows, she lifted her troubled eyes to his. ‘And later?'
‘We'll work something out,' he promised. ‘Take things one step at a time. Surely two intelligent people can come to a compromise?'
The trouble was, she reflected, that one of those intelligent people was in love, and being in love seemed to cancel out any claim to intellect that she'd ever possessed.
Despite her severe misgiving she found herself nodding. What alternative was there? She did have the baby to consider—about that much at least Callum was right. How long would it be before Callum discovered how she really felt about him? She shuddered to think how vulnerable that would make her. Well, I'll just have to make very sure he never finds out, she decided.
CHAPTER NINE
G
EORGINA ARGUED but Callum appeared to have thought of every conceivable objection she might make to going with him to France. He managed to make every protest she made sound unreasonable and churlish. The trouble was that, practically speaking, he was right—she did need looking after. Her obstetrician had personally recommended a doctor in Montpellier, thus ruining her last remaining objection. She was passed fit to make the short journey and the wheels were set in motion.
‘I seem to be the one making all the concessions here,' Georgina observed rattily as she perused the menu in the small café Callum had insisted they stop at on the journey from the airport. ‘I can't even speak French.'
‘You sound so
British
sometimes,' Callum observed with a faint smile.
‘I should...I am—insular and uncompromising, that's me,' she replied, cheerfully selecting her meal and ordering in faltering French.
‘Who am I to argue? Still, you managed that adequately so at least you won't starve,' he said drily, having ordered his own food in a much more fluent fashion.
‘Ordering food is one thing, having a baby when no one understands what I'm saying is another.'
‘A large proportion of the staff at the clinic speak English. We've been through all this, Georgina. I've arranged for a midwife to move in with us for the last two weeks.'
She made a disgruntled sound in her throat. Yes, he'd
been pretty comprehensive in his assumption that she was not capable of taking care of herself. ‘I won't have anyone I
know,'
she complained, giving full range to the surge of self-pity.
‘Your mother can stay; I've told you that. Besides, you'll know me.'
‘Pardon me for not feeling comforted,' she snapped, her attention straying to a French family at a neighbouring table. Four generations, ranging from a septuagenarian to a toddler, settled down to eat together. She doubted whether children would have been welcomed quite so automatically in the British equivalent of this establishment.
‘My mother is the last person I'd want at the birth,' she observed wistfully. Lydia had already advised Georgina to opt for the highest-tech birth available and her tales of her own horrifying experience were hardly designed to soothe her daughter's worries.
‘Then, as I said, you'll have to do with me.'
She gave him a startled look. ‘You want to be in at the birth?' She hadn't expected that and wasn't exactly sure how she felt about it. Callum was so possessive about the growing life within her that she almost felt jealous sometimes.
Longingly she wondered what it would be like to come under the cloak of his love. He was protective—extremely protective—but she knew this was only because she was carrying the child...his child. She didn't want to acknowledge the wave of emotion that washed over her. She'd be living in a fool's paradise if she read what she wanted to into his decision.
He raised his dark brows and shrugged. ‘Of course I do.'
‘But it's...intimate,' she said, struggling to express her doubts, suddenly fiercely embarrassed.
‘So was the conception, as I recall,' he returned drily.
‘Or does your memory need refreshing? I'm not playing at being a father, Georgina—I'm committed to the prospect.'
But not to me. She confronted the hurtful thought; sometimes it was only by remembering this painful truth that she could acknowledge the real situation between them. The knowledge that there was little about that night she'd ever forget made her colour and shift in her seat. ‘I hardly think you'd enjoy that in my present condition,' she snapped, her jaw clenched.
‘On the contrary, I'd enjoy it very much, but the doctor tells me that's a no-go area for the duration.'
‘Why did he tell
you
that?' she asked in a scandalised voice. She knew, but he had no right telling Callum, she concluded with shaky logic.
‘Because I asked.'
‘You ask...!' Georgina choked. She was very grateful for the arrival of their food.
‘Try this; it's a sort of chestnut casserole, a local speciality,' he explained, holding out his fork for her to sample the dish. ‘Like it?' he enquired as she obligingly opened her mouth.
‘Very nice,' she said primly, applying herself to her chicken dish. She realised that the casual gesture would have appeared intimate to anyone watching them. The problem was that it was intimate, just the two of them. She had no illusions he must resent her intrusion into his life; he was making the best of an impossible situation. ‘I still don't see why I couldn't have stayed in England; you could have visited me there.'
Everything had happened so fast. If only she had been able to convince him she didn't need him, but the unpalatable fact was that she did. The doctor's tone had been alarming but the restrictions he had listed had been daunting.
‘You're really tetchy,' Callum observed drily. ‘Was the journey too much?' A crease of anxiety indented his forehead and his eyes searched her face intently. ‘It's only an hour's drive to Ca'n D'alt, but we could stop here overnight if you prefer.'
‘I'm fine,' she assured him. The flight to Toulouse had been smooth and the drive out of the city hadn't been taxing. Callum had made frequent stops for her to stretch her legs.
‘I want to be involved with this child from the outset,' he said quietly. ‘I don't want to be a weekend parent.'
‘What about me—doesn't it matter what I want?' she asked in frustration.
‘You need someone to make sure you slow down—'
‘Nag me,' she interrupted mutinously. She had no intention of letting anything put her child at risk, no matter what he thought.
‘For all I know you might have run back to May once the bruises had faded.'
Her lips remained firmly pressed together but her eyes flared with anger. ‘That's my business,' she said coldly.
‘Tell me about him.'
The perplexing order made her stare at him in confusion. ‘I don't know what you mean.'
‘I mean does he have a whole host of charming characteristics which are only apparent on closer acquaintance? You'd know all about them, wouldn't you, having such a
close
relationship? Or do you simply have a deeply masochistic streak? Are you attracted to brutes?' His voice was icy with derision.
‘I never said I was having an affair with Simon—you did,' she reminded him.
‘And are you telling me you weren't? Why else would you have been meeting him in the car park? That was hardly a chance encounter.'
‘What's wrong—was your ego bruised at the idea of me hopping from your bed into someone else's?' she asked harshly. She had no intention of justifying herself to him when all he did was insult her. ‘I thought you'd already decided I'd slept my way through the entire male staff at Mallory's,' she said bitterly.
She didn't want him to pursue this topic. If he realised how false his assumption about Simon was, it was conceivable he might guess how desperate she was to conceal the strength of her true feelings. So far she'd thankfully hidden her insecurity and ambiguous feelings behind his stupid misconception.
‘In this condition that's one thing you won't have to worry about.' Her hand went to the firm mound of her belly. ‘I'm as attractive as a stranded whale right now.'
The gesture drew his quickening gaze to her body. ‘Were you angry with me when you found out?'
‘Angry?' She looked at him blankly.
‘You had your future so neatly planned; a child hardly fits in. It would only be natural for you to blame me.'
‘Are you trying to get me to say I don't want this child so that you can take over?' she asked angrily.
He made an impatient noise in his throat. ‘I know you want the child!' he said. ‘I'm well aware that it's
me
you don't want, but that subject is not open to debate. In ideal circumstances a child should not be the result of a careless moment, but we're not living in an ideal world.'
‘How profound,' she snapped. ‘Does it say anything in your book of sage observations about what to do when the father of your child doesn't even exist? Callum Smith never did. I spent the night in question with him. The way I see it my baby doesn't have.a father.'
‘Immaculate conception it was not,' he retorted with a feral grin and a glint of hard anger in his eyes. ‘I should
have told you who I was; we should have used precautions . . .'
‘I should have slammed the door in your face the first time I saw you.'
‘Point being, you didn't... I didn't and we didn't,' he ground out harshly. ‘I assumed you were protected; though, to be frank, I can't be sure if it would have made any difference.' His twisted smile held self-derision. ‘When it comes down to it our carnal instincts can still master the most sophisticated of us when the attraction is as basic as it is between us. I should have checked to find out if you were pregnant. It was always a possibility.' He brushed back his hair in a distracted manner and frowned.
‘It didn't seem fair to ask you to take responsibility...' she began, surprised by the self-recrimination in his manner. She felt she owed it to him to be as blunt as he was.
‘Why, for God's sake?' he exploded. ‘It's my fault!'
‘We're almost total strangers...you despise me. How could I come to you and tell you I was pregnant and you were the father? I didn't think you'd believe me.'
‘Is that really what you thought?'
‘It's the truth, Callum,' she said quietly.
‘The truth is, I don't know how I'd have reacted, but you didn't give me the opportunity to find out. You didn't give either of us the opportunity. I know you don't think much of me but surely you don't believe I wouldn't have accepted responsibility?'
‘I didn't feel like being a complication in anyone's life. For me this baby isn't a complication, it's a blessing,' she said huskily. I don't want obligation, she wanted to shriek; I want love!
‘What happened to your ambition?' he asked, watching her expressions with disturbing interest.
‘I know you have me pegged as a devious tramp but if you'd ever bothered to ask I'd have told you my ambitions
are no more than healthily normal. I'm certainly not prepared to sacrifice my personal life to achieve them.'
‘Didn't you do just that when you lost your boyfriend to a more obliging female?'
‘That,' she said firmly, ‘was his problem, not mine.' She had gained a clearer perspective on that whole miserable affair lately. ‘A husband who feels threatened by his wife's abilities,' she pondered thoughtfully, ‘I can do without.'
‘I just love your modesty,' Callum mused, leaning back in his chair and regarding her with narrow-eyed amusement.
‘I was good at my job,' she protested. ‘Even you have to admit that.'
‘You have rare application,' he agreed readily. ‘But Mallory's isn't the only place where your energies could be utilised.' Warm colour flooded her cheeks as she imagined what energies he was referring to. ‘Next year,' he continued, ‘we'll be launching our new wine label; I'll need someone to handle the promotion and marketing.'
‘Is that a job offer?' she asked, trying to disguise from his astute gaze the embarrassing wrong turning her imagination had taken. The eloquent lift of one well-defined eyebrow made it clear that her slip had not gone unnoticed.
‘What's wrong—don't you feel you're up to it?' he said sympathetically. ‘I don't feel threatened by your abundant talent, if that's what you're worried about.'
‘You've already sacked me once.'
‘You resigned, as I recall, and when you were offered your old job you turned it down.'
‘How would you know that?'
‘Peter happened to mention it,' he said casually.
‘In passing?' she suggested.
‘I could have made a casual enquiry.'
The little shiver that traced a delicate pathway up her spine made her almost as flustered as his blue-eyed stare.
‘If you want me to admit you made quite an impact on me I'm not going to deny it.'
‘You're not? I d-did?' she stuttered hoarsely.
‘It would be easier to come to terms with if I could believe you deliberately set out to seduce me, but I don't think you had any more control over what happened that night than I did. Did you make an impact?' he continued in a goaded voice, and she could see the vein in his temple throbbing. ‘You were the embodiment of every erotic fantasy I've ever conceived.'

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