Wayward Temptation (Wayward Saints MC Book 6) (13 page)

Instead, the man I ran to when shit went wrong so many times, was the one that betrayed me.
 

I hear the water turn on, and I know that Raef is getting in the shower to probably wash the blood off of him. As much as I want to go in there and tell him sorry, I know that it isn’t going to do much. I kneed him in the balls, and I’m pretty sure he’s going to be angry with me. I should have believed him, but I couldn't accept that Striker would do that to me.
 

Sitting on the bed, I pull my knees to my chest, and curl into a ball. I wait for him to come out. When the water stops, I wait for him, and as soon as I look up and see his face, the tears flow faster.
 

My heart is broken. I wish that there was another reason for him turning against me, but I can’t think of one. Watching Raef walk towards me, I want to curl up into his arms. I want him to make everything go away, but I don’t think that it will this time. I’m not sure that he will be able to take away my pain.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper. The water drips down his body and I want to lick it up but I don’t move closer to him.
 
“I know you’re hurting, but that shit fucking hurt. I didn’t mean to kill him. But, he went for my gun. While we were struggling, it went off.” My eyes widen, and I can’t help but bite my lip to keep from crying even more.
 

He kneels down in front of me, and winces before he wraps his arms around me. I bury my face into his neck. His hand moves up and down my back in a soothing motion, but it doesn’t help. Striker will never come back, and part of this is my fault. I shouldn’t have let my father back into my life. I should have been more careful.
 

“I should have been smarter. If I was, none of this would be happening,” I sob. He lays me back on the bed, and I curl into his body. Lying in his arms makes me feel better, but knowing that Striker’s death is my fault, is eating away at me.
 

“Sailor, I get that you’re hurting, but you’re going to have a lot more problems to deal with. Mac is sending me home soon. He wants me to finish up my runs, and get gone.”
 

Pulling away, I look into his eyes, and he’s telling me the truth. They are sending him away because of what happened. I know that it’s the reason why. “All because you killed Striker? Because you were protecting me?” My eyebrows pretty much rise into my hairline, and I can’t believe they would do this to him.
 

“Yeah, pretty much,” he shrugs. “I wasn’t going to be here forever anyway, and Mac just bumped up my departure date.” He almost looks hurt, that he’s leaving sooner than what he was originally planning.

“What happens then?” I whisper.
 

“We go back to our regularly scheduled lives.” He doesn’t look at me this time. I have a feeling that it hurts him to say that, even if he doesn’t want to admit it.
 

“You don’t even care?” I question.

“Sailor,” he starts. I shake my head. He goes to say something, but I stop him. I don’t want to hear it. It’s going to break my heart to know that I’m not enough for him. I’ve given him more in a short amount of time, than I’ve given to anyone I’ve ever been with.
 

“Can you please leave?” my voice is broken, and I’m fighting the tears again.
 

“Yeah, whatever you want Darlin’.” He gets up and grabs his bag. He pulls on a pair of jeans and some socks, before he pulls his boots on. I watch him pull on his shirt, and he stuffs all of his things in his bag. Not being able to watch him walk out the door, I make my way to the bathroom, and close the door. Sliding down to the floor, I cry.
 

When the door shuts, a sob escapes my throat. I can’t help but feel my heart break all over again.
 

I know that this is the right thing to do, but it hurts. I’m pretty much in love with him, and I just told him to leave. I don’t understand my crazy head right now, but I do know that I need to be alone. He took away one of my best friends, and I’m not sure how I am going to be able to accept that. How do you move on from something like that?

As soon as the tears stop falling, I get up, and make my way to the bed. Lying in between the sheets, I smell him, and I feel like I can’t breathe. Everything about this room reminds me of him. Pulling the blanket over my head, I cry myself to sleep.
 

Hearing the door open, I peak my head out of the covers, and I see Butch walking towards the bed. He takes a seat next to me. At first he doesn’t say anything, but I know what he’s thinking. He’s hurt just like I am. Did he know about the deal Striker had with our father?

“He deserved it,” he whispers.
 

My lip trembles, and I look down at the bed. “How can you say that? He was your best friend!”
 

“Yeah, he was, but my best friend would have never given up your location. He didn’t give a fuck about either of us. He gave you up, and I’m not okay with that. You’re my sister, and I don’t care how much money he got, you mean more than a goddamn payday,” he growls.
 

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I sit up, and scoot closer to Butch. “What am I supposed to do now?” I whisper.
 

“I don’t know. We just got done grilling Dad, and he said that Marco isn’t going to stop coming after you until your dead, or in his hands. Prez is sending Raef away, and honestly, he was your best shot at getting the fuck away from Marco and his shit.”
 

I watch Butch run his hands down his thighs, and part of me knows that he’s right. But, I can’t bring myself to agree with him out loud. He killed Striker, and I don’t think I will ever be able to forgive him.

“Striker was a traitor. Stop giving a damn about him. He sold you out for a couple grand. You are worth way more than that, and if you don’t see it, then I don’t know what to tell you. Raef cares about you, even if he doesn’t admit it.” He stands up quickly, and when he looks at me, I can see the anger in his eyes. Something I’ve never seen from my brother. He’s always been the one to protect me, but right now, I’m the one who is pissing him off.
 

“Pull your head out of your ass,” he bites out.
 

The tears well up in my eyes, and I look away from him. Before he can say anything else, he slams his fist into the wall. I hear him wince in pain. “I love you Sailor. But you’re so fucking off on this shit, that you’ll never figure out who is really on your side. You’re going to wind up dead.. I can’t sit back and watch that happen to you.”

He turns and walks out the door, before I even get a chance to say anything to him. Well, I didn’t really have anything to say to that anyways. He might be right, but I deserve time to grieve. Striker meant a lot to me, and I’ll be damned to let them ruin my memory of him.
 

He deserves someone on his side, even if it makes me the crazy one. He didn’t deserve what happened to him.
 

Chapter Seventeen

Walking into the clubhouse, I ask Mac for a room, and he points to the last one down the hall. He doesn’t say one word to me, and I’m actually glad for the silent treatment. I don’t really want shit to do with them right now, but I do want to get some sleep. It’s already been a long night, and a bed is all I really want right now.

Making my way into the room, it smells like shit, but I don’t really care right now. Closing the door behind me, I toss my bag on the chair in the corner, and toe my boots off. Dropping my exhausted body into the shitty ass bed, I close my eyes, and pray that sleep takes me.

The banging on my door startles me. I jump out of bed and grab my gun, slowly opening it. Seeing Butch standing in my doorway wasn’t something I expected, but I’m sure he’s here for a reason, just not sure what it is.

“Can I talk to you?” he asks. He watches me, and I move away from the door to let him in.
 

“You’re the last person I expected to be knocking on my door.” I take a seat on the bed, and wait for him to tell me why the fuck he’s here.

“She needs you on her side. Don’t give up on her,” he all but begs me.

“Too late brother. She wanted me to leave. She blames me for what I did, and she’s probably right. I didn’t have to kill him, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to let him kill me.” I grab a cigarette out of the pack that’s sitting on the ground by the bed, light it up, and take a puff.
 

“She’s hurting. He’s been there all her life. I don’t think she can accept that he was willing to give her up. I get he was mad because she chose you, but he still shouldn’t have given her up like that.” I nod my head, but I don’t respond to him. Hell, I don’t need to. I know exactly where I stand with her, and I sure as shit ain’t sorry for what I did.

“We spoke to my old man. He told us some news about what the fuckhead who bought her is planning on doing, since he can’t get her back,” he states.

“You guys find out who it is?” He nods his head, and I wait for him to let me in on the fucking secret.
 

“Cam Martin.” I shrug my shoulders. I have no fucking clue who the fuck that is.
 

“He’s a fucking rich moron that thinks he can buy whatever he wants. My sister is one of the things he’s thrown money around to get. He’s the one who found my old man, and hired him to get her back for him. He’s paid a shit ton of money to Marco and the mob for her, and he’s pissed that she’s currently missing.”

“What does this shit have to do with me? She wants nothing to do with me, and I’ll be fucking ecstatic to get the fuck out of this place once all these runs are done. I can go back to my own fucking life, and my own fucking club.” I take another drag, and I can see that I’m pissing him off.

“You fucking care about her. Why don’t you fucking prove it? Now that you’ve had your feel of her, you’re just going to toss her to the side like fucking trash?” he grits out. I don’t give a fuck what he thinks, and I ain’t even going to fucking try to reason with him. He’s just as fucking stubborn as his damn sister.

“She’s the one who kicked me out. So unless you got something to tell me about the runs for the next few days, I don’t give a shit.”

He stands up, and for a second I think that he’s going to come at me. But, he just shakes his head and walks out of the room, slamming the door behind him. The echo of the door slamming catches my attention, and my mind goes to Sailor. She doesn’t deserve this shit from me, but it’s how I function, and I’m not about to fucking change for a bitch. I don’t care how fucking good she is in the sack.