Wayside School Gets a Little Stranger (15 page)

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Chapter 27

Way-High-Up Ball

Eric Fry, Eric Bacon, and Eric Ovens were playing way-high-up ball. They had made up the game themselves.

All you needed were two things — a pink rubber ball, about the size of a tennis ball, and a real tall school.

Eric Ovens threw the ball way high up. It bounced off the school, just above the third-story window.

“Three-pointer,” called Eric Bacon.

They shoved and elbowed each other out of the way as they waited for it to come down. At the last second, Eric Fry jumped and caught it.

He got three points. Eric Ovens also got three points since he was the thrower.

Eric Fry threw the ball way high up. It bounced off a window on the fifth floor.

“Five-pointer!” called Eric Ovens.

All three Erics jumped for it. It bounced off their fingertips and hit the ground.

The teacher on the fifth story stuck her head out the window. “Hey, what’s going on down there?” she shouted.

The three Erics looked away and whistled.

There’s one more thing about way-high-up ball I haven’t told you. You’re not allowed to play it. The Erics had already broken one window.

Eric Bacon looked up, surprised. “Are you talking to us?” he asked.

“Something just banged against my window,” said the teacher.

“Was it a bird?” asked Eric Ovens.

The teacher stared at the children a moment longer. Then she pulled her head inside.

Eric Fry threw the ball way high up. It was a six-pointer!

All three fought for position as they waited for it to come down, but at the last second, a hairy arm reached above them and caught it.

The arm belonged to Louis, the yard teacher.

“Can I play?” asked Louis. His mustache had grown back completely.

“Sure!” all three Erics said together.

“What do I have to do?” asked Louis.

“Just see how high up against the school you can throw it,” said Eric Fry.

Louis gripped the ball tightly in his hand. He reached way back, then let it fly.

“Wowww!” the three Erics said together as they watched the ball soar up in the air.

It hit up above the eighth-story window; then Louis caught his own rebound.

“Sixteen points!” said Eric Bacon.

“Throw it again, Louis,” said Eric Ovens.

Now that Louis was playing, lots of kids from all over the playground came to play too.

Louis threw the ball way high up. It hit above the eleventh story, then bounced back over everyone’s head.

There was a mad scramble for the ball. Bebe finally came up with it.

“Give it to Louis,” said Eric Ovens.

“No, let Bebe throw it,” said Louis, who always tried to be fair.

Bebe threw a two-pointer.

Jason caught the rebound. “You want to throw it, Louis?” he asked.

“No, you go ahead,” said Louis.

Jason threw a glopper.

A glopper is when the ball goes straight up in the air and comes down without touching the building.

Eric Bacon caught it. “Here, Louis,” he said.

“No, you throw it,” said Louis.

“But you can throw it so much higher,” said Eric B.

“We want to see how high you can throw it, Louis,” said Leslie.

“C’mon, Louis!” everyone urged.

Louis shook his head. “The game is for you kids, not for me.”

“Miss Nogard is watching,” said Bebe slyly.

Louis glanced at Miss Nogard, who was standing just outside the front door. “Give me the ball,” he said.

The kids cheered.

Louis reached way down, almost to the ground, then hurled it up with all his might.

The ball reached the fifteenth floor, halfway up the school!

“Wow!” everyone said together.

“I got it,” called Terrence as he circled under the ball, waiting for it to come down. His knees wobbled.

The ball bounced off his face. “Cool,” he said as blood flowed out of his nose.

“That was a world’s record, Louis!” exclaimed Eric Ovens.

Louis smiled proudly. He turned to look at Miss Nogard, but she had already gone inside.

“You like Miss Nogard, don’t you?” asked Bebe.

“She seems like a nice person,” said Louis.

“She’s pretty too,” said Eric Bacon as he nudged Louis in the side.

“Well, she is kind of cute,” Louis admitted.

“Oooooh,” said Joy.

“But do you
love
her?” asked Jenny.

Everyone giggled. Louis’s red face got even redder.

“You should ask her out on a date,” said Eric Fry.

“No, I don’t think that’s a very good idea,” said Louis.

“Why not?” asked Eric Ovens. “I think you two would make a real cute couple.”

“Bring her flowers,” said Dana.

“Buy her candy,” said Maurecia.

“Tell her she’s got eyes like the moon,” said Bebe.

“Eyes like the moon?” asked Louis.

“Girls love it when you tell them that,” said Bebe.

“Forget that gushy stuff,” said Eric Bacon. “Just walk right up to her and say, ‘Hey, baby! How about a date?’ ”

“Just like that?” asked Louis.

“This is what you do,” said Terrence. “You take her to a real scary movie. And then at the scary part, you put your arm around her.”

“Ooooh,” said Dana and Jenny.

“No, take her dancing,” said Myron. “And hold her real close.”

“Ooooooh,” said the three Erics.

Louis laughed. “You kids are crazy,” he said.

“You’re scared of her, aren’t you?” asked Eric Bacon.

“You shouldn’t be scared,” said Eric Ovens. “You’re bigger and stronger and faster than anyone on the playground.”

“And you’ve got the best mustache too,” said Eric Fry.

“I’m not afraid of her,” Louis tried to explain. “It’s just—” He looked up at the very tall school. “Miss Nogard is way-high-up there, and I’m way-down-low here. You’ll understand someday when you’re older.”

He picked up the ball and threw it way high up. It hit somewhere between the eighteenth and twentieth story.

And never came down.

There was no nineteenth story.

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Chapter 28

Flowers for a Very Special Person

Of course Miss Nogard knew all about Louis. The children’s brains were buzzing about him.

Louis likes Miss Nogard
, thought Stephen.

Louis is in love with Miss Nogard
, thought Todd.

Louis wants to marry Miss Nogard, thought Sharie.

But even if she couldn’t listen to their brains, she would have found out anyway. “Louis, the yard teacher, is madly in love with you,” said Jenny.

“Oh, really?” said Miss Nogard.

“He dreams about you every night,” said Calvin.

“He thinks your eyes are like the moon,” said Bebe.

Miss Nogard smiled.

“Do you like him?” asked Jenny.

“He’s kind of cute,” said Miss Nogard.

“Ooooh,” Bebe and Calvin said together.

“What about his mustache?” asked Jenny. “Do you like his mustache?”

Miss Nogard thought a moment. “It would probably tickle if he kissed me.”

The children gasped as their mouths fell open.

They returned to their desks and told everyone around them what Miss Nogard said.

Miss Nogard smiled. She wondered just how she’d break Louis’s heart.

Ever since Xavier broke her heart, she’d become an expert at breaking other people’s. She listened to men’s brains and knew just what to say to make them fall in love with her.

And then she knew just the right thing to say, at just the right moment, to shatter their hearts into a million pieces. Even the biggest and strongest man would cry like a baby.

She was incapable of love. Her heart was clogged with bitterness and hate. And besides, she knew no one would ever love someone with three ears.

For just a second she felt a pang of sadness. Because she really did think Louis was kind of cute. Like a puppy dog.

She could almost feel the tickle of his mustache.

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“Miss Nogard thinks you’re cute,” Jenny told Louis at recess.

“She’s hot for you, Louis!” said Mac.

“She wants to kiss you!” said Bebe.

“C’mon, let’s play kickball,” said Louis.

They played kickball, but it was weird. Louis, who was probably the best kickball player ever, did terribly. He tripped over the ball when he tried to kick it. And when Terrence kicked a pop-up, Louis tried to catch it, but the ball bounced off his head.

“What’s wrong with Louis?” asked Ron. “Is he sick or something?”

“Yes,” said Jenny. “He’s got a real bad disease. And it’s spelled L-O-V-E.”

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The next morning Louis came to school with a bunch of flowers in his hand.

Jenny saw him. “Are those for Miss Nogard?” she asked.

“Oh, I don’t know,” said Louis. “I passed a field of wildflowers on the way to school. I thought I might give them to someone special.” He winked at her.

He headed toward the school building. Jenny followed.

“Oooh, flowers!” said Bebe.

“Are you going to give them to Miss Nogard?” asked Calvin.

“Oh, I don’t know,” said Louis. “I think she might have a pretty face, I mean vase.”

Calvin and Bebe followed along with Jenny.

Louis entered the building.

Miss Nogard was in the office. She was getting her mail from her box. Her back was to him.

Louis froze.

“Go on, Louis,” urged Jenny.

But Louis just stood there. The flowers rattled in his shaky hand, and several petals fell to the floor.

Mr. Kidswatter came out of his office. “Good morning, Louis,” he said. “What have you got there?”

“Uh, these are for you,” said Louis. He thrust the flowers into Mr. Kidswatter’s hand.

“They’re lovely!” said Mr. Kidswatter.

Miss Nogard turned around. “Those are very pretty, Mr. Kidswatter,” she said, then headed up the stairs.

Louis watched her go.

“No one’s ever brought me flowers before,” said Mr. Kidswatter. “You may not believe this, Louis, but I don’t have many friends.” He put his hand on Louis’s shoulder. “You’re like a son to me,” he said.

“And you’re a maggot-infested string bean,” muttered Louis.

“What?” asked Mr. K.

“I said, you’re a magnificent human being.”

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