Water Bound (32 page)

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Authors: Christine Feehan

BOOK: Water Bound
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Are you feeling the same?
She couldn’t ask aloud, but she had to know.
His breath was ragged against the back of her neck.
Even stronger.
Her heart jumped at his honesty. He wasn’t ashamed or embarrassed to feel such an overwhelming sexual attraction.
Is it you? Or me?
I think we have extraordinary chemistry. I have never encountered this need before, so strong that it’s a hunger that grows rather than allows control.
There was satisfaction in knowing that she wasn’t alone and that he was honest with her about the way his body responded to hers.
Not just my body
, lyubimaya, he corrected.
Cool us down with the rain.
The sheer poetry of his suggestion appealed to her soul. She lifted her hands and began a symphony that for the first time she performed for someone other than herself. Bright diamonds fell from the sky, sparkling and perfect. The sound seemed precise at first, but in response to the commands of her fingers, she began to hear individual notes—the drumming of the rain, harder along the forest edge.
Lev had seen her do this before, but he’d never truly experienced what she did when she disappeared inside her head. Rikki was a water element, but he knew even had she not been, this was her world, this other place where sound wasn’t harsh and lights didn’t burn.
He inhaled sharply as he was drawn into another dimension, an alternate reality, more vivid, more alive, than the world he lived in. The landscape was painted with sound. Soft at first, like a string quartet, the rain was nearly weeping with joy.
She changed the rate of fall to bring in the various sounds of drums, the pounding rhythm, the midrange snare, the kick of the bass, all flowing together into a symphony of color and magic. She created a complicated, intricate pattern, or maybe it was there all along and he had never been tuned to it before.
He could hear individual notes and, like in a Bach fugue, counterpoints to the building thematic melody. While the music seemed soft, it was also strong and commanding, a force to be reckoned with, nature building on itself. Each individual voice was different, as if a variety of instruments played various tunes, yet somehow they all melded together to create a masterpiece.
Just like the movements in a symphony, the rain sent vibrations through his body, painting the world in a physical map of mountains, valleys and high peaks dropping into deep ravines. The physical structures were all created by sound itself, and the colors were intense and vivid—substance created by sound, by feeling. He realized the emotions in her, so closed off to the rest of the world, were right beneath the surface, a swirling cauldron of heat and fire and cool rain. The vivid colors and sounds expressed what she felt—the amazing intensity of her emotions.
For the first time in his life, Lev shut out the world around him. He was lost in the wonder and beauty of the rain coming down. He was utterly fascinated, experiencing a joyful euphoria, a sharing with Rikki that was intimate beyond imagination. This world, this creation, was as real as the two of them—he’d just never had an opening into another dimension before.
The rain swelled and ebbed, pouring over the slopes and valleys, each section answering with a loud or soft rush of music, as if there were melodic voices in the rain calling and answering one another with greater and greater force. The drops whirled and danced as they came down over the house, creating small twisters of crystal prisms.
He was lost, caught up in the beauty and sound. Everything sparkled against the night, a million stars rained down on them. The drops began to touch and then sink into his skin, absorbed by him until he felt like part of the deluge, floating in space between sky and earth. This was her world, just as the sea was. The cool water surrounding her, carrying her, holding her close to comfort her in a world she could never understand.
She wanted to live in this world or in the deep sea. He felt her reach for it, let it take her spinning further away from reality, and he went with her, free-falling into vivid color and beautiful sound. The music flowed around him with the rain. Streaks of glittering color were weeping violins, and then a calypso beat separated the drops once more.
Abruptly it was gone and he stood there blinking, as if waking up from a dream, looking around, trying to orient himself back to a world that was not quite so bright and vivid. Where was the music? The vivid color? The world seemed dull in comparison. He put his arms around her and held her while she came back from her journey into another dimension. He had no other way to describe what he’d experienced, but he knew that rapt expression of focused attention that often came over Rikki meant she was there, in that world that was in her head.
She turned her head, letting it fall on his shoulder, accepting the security of his arms. “You’re cold,
lyubimaya,
let’s get you inside and ready for bed.”
He didn’t want her to stay out on the porch alone. He was afraid of losing her to that other world. It would always be there, just as the sea would be, calling to her in a soft, tempting whisper. He kissed the top of her head. It was entirely possible he didn’t know one thing about love, but he knew himself inside and out, every strength, every weakness, and he knew absolutely his life was entangled with hers for all time.
He didn’t like being away from her. He found himself listening for the sound of her voice, watching for her little frown, waiting for her direct stare so he could fall into the dark depths of her eyes. Free-falling. That’s what he’d been doing since the moment he met her. And he wanted this life. He intended to grab it with both hands. Right or wrong, he was falling in love with her, and every moment spent in her company intensified the feeling. He couldn’t imagine going back to being without her.
He scooped her up into his arms, not waiting for her breathless protest, and carried her back into the house, kicking the door closed behind them.
“I have to lock it,” she said.
“You get ready for bed and I’ll shut down the house.” He wanted to take a quick look around and set a few extra guards in place.
Rikki stood just outside the bathroom door, shocked at the way she felt when he left her, taking most of the warmth in the room with him. She shivered, aware something had changed between them. Sharing her world with him, allowing him into her head, had only made the connection between them deeper. She was happy on her own, yet, slowly, Lev was inserting himself deeper and deeper into her life—into her emotions.
She didn’t let people in because she couldn’t risk her fragile happiness. Without Blythe and the others, she’d be dead. She wouldn’t have been able to continue her solitary existence, wondering every moment if she was truly a monster capable of burning people alive. Lev was winding his way into her heart. She was getting used to his presence in her home, but more than that, she was getting used to his touch.
She’d never liked being touched, even by the people she loved. She tolerated it because she knew they needed it, but she’d never wanted to feel skin against her skin—until Lev. She rubbed the center of her left hand in slow circles, finding it soothing, almost as if she were stroking Lev’s skin. She found him warm, allowing her to almost melt into him, instead of feeling his touch as a prickling that was uncomfortable or at times even painful.
She pushed open the bathroom door and staggered in. She hadn’t felt so clumsy on land for a long, long time, but the direction of her thinking had thrown her. She was never going to be able to fall asleep without him if she let him into her life any further. She would never feel happy again
if-no-when
he left. No one could live with her eccentricities. She was fine now in her own skin, but she was fully aware she was not the “standard” model.
She scrubbed her face, looking into her own eyes. She saw him there. Lev. How had he gotten inside of her? For the first time in a long while she was terrified. Not of her kitchen being messed up or that someone else shared her house, but that she was coming to need him. She was meticulous about brushing her teeth, a torture for her as the sensation repelled her, but she also had a thing about teeth and wanted them as immaculate as possible. Each time she brushed her teeth, she remembered her mother brushing and counting, helping her to focus on the numbers and not the sensation. She still counted and that helped to pull her mind away from the terror of falling for Lev—
Levi
—Hammond.
That wasn’t even his real name, not that it mattered to her, but he was shedding his old skin and donning a new one. He could be in her life for a short time and shed her just as fast. Heart pounding, she brushed her hair the one hundred strokes she did every night, counting each one carefully before placing the brush in the exact spot she always put it in.
She stepped out of her clothes, her skin sensitive, her breasts aching. Breathing deep to push down the building need, she dragged on a tank and the matching boy shorts, a concession to her femininity. She did like beautiful underwear. She sat on top of the covers, her weighted blanket in reach. She allowed Lev to sleep beneath the covers, acutely aware that he rarely slept with clothes on. She’d become accustomed to giving him a massage at night, telling herself it would help him relax and sleep, but it was really becoming an excuse to trace every muscle in his body until she knew him fairly intimately.
Not tonight. She resolutely pulled out a book and opened it, focusing the light on her bedside table onto the pages. She didn’t look up when Lev came in, but she couldn’t help but see him—his energy filled the entire room. In spite of her resolutions, her body stirred to life. He moved like a creature of the jungle. Fluid and strong, he was every inch a man, every inch a predator. He could shed his name but he couldn’t change what was beneath the skin, and it showed in the way he walked.
His muscles rippled with strength. His thighs were strong columns and his hips narrow. His shoulders were broad, his chest deep, and he was well-endowed, a fact she couldn’t avoid either. His symmetry appealed to her. She knew the flow of his muscles beneath his skin. She knew the heat he could generate. The silk of his hair, already growing out and a little shaggy, the long lashes and piercing sea blue eyes all combined to set her pulse racing and her blood stirring.
He slipped beneath the covers after turning off the overhead light so that there was only her lamp shining on the pages of her book. Rikki remained very still, head pressed against the headrest of the bed while Lev shifted position beneath the covers, turning onto his side and laying his head squarely in her lap. For a moment she couldn’t breathe. She tried to pretend that she could read but it was impossible, and she knew he knew it.
“Turn off the light, Rikki,” he said softly.
She hesitated a moment, still afraid to move, but there was no point in trying to read when his arm settled around her thighs and his head nuzzled into a better position, his breath warm on her bare thighs. The blankets were between their bodies, but the way he held her was the most intimate thing she’d ever felt in her life. She reached out and touched the lamp, plunging the room into darkness. She could hear her own heart pounding in her ears.
Even the sound of the rain didn’t bring her peace. She counted silently, not wanting to move, but afraid she might have to from sheer terror at such closeness. Lev was breathing evenly, but she wasn’t altogether certain he was any more relaxed than she was. She waited in the darkness, but he made no sound and no movement. She realized he was holding himself even more still than she was, awaiting—even expecting—her rejection.
She let her breath out and dropped her hand onto his head, stroking gently over his thick hair. “Are you all right, Lev?” she asked, her voice soft and more tender than she wanted it to be.
His arm tightened around her thighs. “Sometimes, my childhood is just too close.”
They’d spoken of it earlier, when she’d asked him questions he didn’t want to answer. “I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories,” she apologized.
“I’ve never told another human being about my life.”
She knew the feeling of being exposed and vulnerable, turned inside out. She’d had that happen in grief counseling with the women she regarded as her sisters. The outcome of exposing oneself could be, and often was, disastrous. For Lev, she had the feeling it could end in violence or death.
“I’m not asking that of you, Lev,” she said. “You don’t have to pay that kind of price to be with me. I don’t need it”
“Yes, you do. You have to know what I am.”
Her heart contracted and then began to pound at an alarming rate. He was giving himself to her. She wasn’t ready. She didn’t know if she could make a commitment. She was happy with her life, at peace with herself. She liked her life. He would change that dramatically.
“Lev.” She wanted to stop him. He didn’t have to strip himself naked for her to feel safe with him, and that’s what he was most afraid of. “Your past doesn’t frighten me.”
His fingers began slow, seductive circles on her thigh, right over the tattooed raindrops, tracing each one, committing them to memory. “It should, Rikki. Men like me—we’re not supposed to lie in bed with a woman or have a place we call home. We eliminate threats, and anyone knowing us is a threat”

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