Watch Me Burn: The December People, Book Two (17 page)

avid must have fallen asleep in the chair, because he found himself standing in front of Crystal—Xavier and Evangeline’s mother who had died last year. She glowed with happiness and health. Her black hair shone, and her skin looked tan and rosy. She had white teeth and bright red, sparkling lips. She didn’t look anything like he remembered her, perhaps a sign she was nothing more than an illusion, a Crystal that never existed anywhere but in his own head.

The real Crystal would not have appreciated what David had done with her in his subconscious mind. She might have tolerated the cheerleader smile and the ample amount of naked skin. But she wouldn’t have liked the gold sequined bikini and gold high heels, or the bizarre gold crest perched atop her head, like a Vegas showgirl. She twirled two chains around her, both with a fireball at each end. She danced and swung the fire in the air, making elaborate patterns, and just missing her bare flesh. The image, however ridiculous, mesmerized him.

She stopped her dance, and looked right at David, still twirling her lit chains. She shook her head and snickered at him.

“David, why are you looking at me?”

“How could I not?”

“You silly man. You shouldn’t look at me.”

“Why?”

“Because that’s what he wants.”

“Who?”

She looked into the darkness behind David. “The magician.”

David spun around. He saw a dark theater with only one occupied seat. The lone figure appeared as nothing but a mass of darkness. No face. No features. No body. Just darkness. The more David squinted toward the figure, the more the darkness swelled. The dim lights faded, until he could no longer make out the seats or the aisle. He turned back to Crystal, but she had disappeared too. The darkness became absolute, but he was not alone. Somewhere, in the darkness, lurked the magician.

Perhaps the fear woke David, because he jolted awake with his heart racing. He felt out of sorts, as if he hadn’t slept for three days but had drunk copious amounts of espresso. Exhausted and panicky at the same time. Despite a bad night’s sleep, he couldn’t believe he had drifted off. He couldn’t imagine ever sleeping again until he knew Amanda would be okay.

He and Jude waited outside the radiology department for the doctors to run more tests on Amanda—an experience so surreal, he hung on to the hope this was all an elaborate nightmare.

As Janet or Janice had said, Jude looked good. Too good, if that was possible. As Crystal had looked in his dream. Seeing Crystal so healthy and happy reminded him she wasn’t real, and that’s how he felt now, looking at Jude. Of course, he was real. He had driven Amanda here. He had called David. He had talked to doctors and nurses. But something about him didn’t feel real. Altered.

“Did I really fall asleep?” David asked.

“Yeah.”

“I can’t believe I did that. I didn’t miss anything, did I?”

He shook his head. “I can’t believe how long this is taking.”

“Why are you here?” David asked.

“I’m waiting to hear what the doctor says.”

“No, I mean, why are you
here
? Why were you with her when she passed out?”

“Oh. That.”

“Yeah. That.”

“Maybe I should let Mom tell you.”

David turned and glared at his son. “I have no patience for bullshit right now. Tell me what’s going on.”

“I’m sorry, Dad.”

“Tell me
now
.”

“I wouldn’t have let her do it if I knew it would hurt her. She kept telling me she was fine. She hid it well.”

“Dammit Jude, start at the beginning of the story, not the end.”

“She was trying a spell. She thought she could remove the darkness…or whatever…from me with magic. Like she did with your memories.”

David didn’t say anything for a while. He had no doubt his son told the truth. It sounded like something Amanda would do.

“So, I guess that’s why you’re all…
clean
.” He said the word “clean” with distaste. He meant it as a euphemism for something terrible, although he didn’t know what.

“Her spell worked. Mom is incredible.”

“Of course, it fucking worked. All the crap that was in you went right into her. Energy can transform, but it can’t die. So, congratulations. You moved it to your mother. How could you be so selfish?”
How could
she
be so selfish? How could she take herself from him?

“I told you, I didn’t know.” He averted his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

David’s throat felt dry. He wanted to fall asleep again.

“So what then, you’re fine now? Just a normal guy?” He asked it sardonically. He couldn’t believe that.

“Well, it’s more than that. I have something else.”

“What?”

“I met somebody.”

David didn’t respond.

“She’s amazing. She’s
beyond
amazing. I’d like for you and Mom to meet her.”

David shot his words at him. “You think I care about that right now? You killed your mother and you want to introduce me to your girlfriend? I—do—not—care.”

“I just…”

“Maybe your mother thought your life was worth more than hers, but I don’t. I’m sure that’s why she didn’t tell me. I would have stopped her. I would have never let her sacrifice herself for you. Your soul is not worth hers. Not by a long shot.”

“I didn’t…”

“Why are you still here? I’m going to have to tell your brothers and sisters about this, and then they’ll come up here. And you can’t be here. Get out.”

“You can’t do that. What if she gets worse? What if she… I want to be with her.”

“Get—out.”

Jude stood up and grabbed his keys and his phone like a ghost fumbling through long-forgotten tasks. David saw an elderly woman watching them from several seats over.

“
Damn
,” she muttered under her breath, giving David a sour look.

David felt as if he watched a giant wave swelling in front of him. He swam away as fast as he could, but he couldn’t swim forever. The wave would crash right on top of him. But for now, he swam away. He couldn’t accept that anything was wrong with Amanda. He couldn’t handle it. He didn’t have the strength or the courage. And as bad as it would be for a Mundane, the loss could devastate a dark wizard. She was his talisman. He needed her.

While David waited, he tried to pray, but it didn’t work. He ended up yelling at God in his mind. He tried to ask God to protect her, but ended up making demands.
No. This is unacceptable. You can’t do this. I won’t accept it. Don’t even think about it. Who do you think you’re kidding? Un-freaking-acceptable. No. No. No. Not happening. Amen.

A nurse finally came out and said they’d moved Amanda back to her room and she was waiting for him.

When he came to her bedside, she’d never looked so happy to see him. Her whole body melted in a sigh. She reached for him eagerly. This shook David more than anything else. He had never seen her look so frightened.
She
was the strong one.

“David,” she whispered his name like a poem. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

He did the best he could to gather her in his arms with her hooked up to several tubes and contraptions. She pressed her face into his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his back so hard, it hurt.

“It’s going to be okay,” David said, aware that the platitude meant nothing.

“Where is Jude?”

David swallowed a growl. She had reached for David so desperately, but mere seconds later she asked for Jude, the one who had done this to her.

“I asked him to leave.”

“David” she chided.

“I don’t want to talk about him. I only want to talk about you.”

“I suppose he told you.”

“Yes.”

“I know you’re angry. That’s why I didn’t tell you. I’m sorry this happened, but I won’t say I’m sorry I did it. He’s our son.”

David couldn’t say anything without sounding selfish. What he had said to Jude about him not being worth saving had been cruel and untrue, but he still wouldn’t have traded Amanda for him. A horrible thing to think about his own son, but true. Jude had done something terrible, something he could never take back. Amanda sat at the center of his universe. Without her, everything hurtled out into space.

“Did you tell the kids?”

“Not yet.” David glanced at his phone as he said it, and wondered why none of them had called. Not that they longed for parental supervision, but dinnertime had come and gone, and they had yet to call to demand food. Or to ask why he and Amanda hadn’t come home yet. Or…anything. “I don’t know what to tell them.”

A doctor came in and introduced himself as an oncologist. David wondered if somewhere in his degree-laden mind, he realized he spilled his guts as soon as he introduced himself.

David’s stomach coiled into a hard ball as he listened to the man talk. He tried to listen. Like Xavier, he sensed he could slip out of this conversation if he wanted to, and had to work hard to resist the temptation. He realized that was how he “fell asleep” in the lobby. He could turn himself off. He didn’t know if he could control it.

Amanda had advanced breast cancer that had already spread to her liver and lungs. Amanda argued she had gotten a mammogram four months ago that came up clean. She also said breast cancer didn’t run in her family. Of course Amanda would want to argue with cancer. As if she believed that if she came up with a rational argument against cancer, it would disappear.

But David knew none of those arguments mattered. He knew the darkness she had taken from Jude had invaded her body – and it had already taken root.

t had taken several hours, instead of several weeks, but Patrick had called Emmy twice and texted her, “YOU STOLE MY CAR.” Then, “Eve with you?” And later, “Are you okay? Where are you? TEXT ME BACK.”