Warrior's Embrace (32 page)

Around them the night shadows lifted and a
faint glow of pink crept into the room. As release came, Elizabeth
and Hawk called out to each other. And then he held her in his
arms, caressing her hair and murmuring over and over, “I love
you.”

Elizabeth didn’t believe him. She wanted to.
How desperately she wanted to. But the lessons of her past had been
hard, and the things Hawk had told her had been specific. He was a
warrior. He was ruled by his passion: That much was clear. But he
was committed to one thing and one thing only: the Chickasaw cause.
She had known that from the beginning. And she had accepted it.

Only now... with Hawk’s baby growing inside
her womb, the acceptance did not come easily.

They fell asleep wrapped in each other’s
arms. Elizabeth allowed herself that one last pleasure, for she
knew that only too soon the morning would come.

o0o

He was waiting for her downstairs when she
got up.

“I made you breakfast.”

“Please, no. Even the smell of food in the
morning makes me sick.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think of that. I guess
I’m not used to being a father-to-be.”

The words came to him so naturally that she
was almost fooled. He even looked like a contented father-to-be,
standing in her kitchen over a skillet of scrambled eggs.

“Black Hawk, about last night...” The minute
she had said his name, he had tensed.

“Yes,” he said quickly. “About last night.”
He loosened his grip on the skillet and came to her. Before he
could touch her, she turned away.

“I love you, Elizabeth.”

“You don’t have to say that just because I’m
pregnant. Reality doesn’t make me fall apart anymore.”

“What we had last night—”

“—was magnificent passion,” she said,
interrupting him. “It was a beautiful way to say goodbye once
more.”

He grasped her shoulders and turned her back
to face him. “Elizabeth, I didn’t mean to let passion overcome me.
I had intended to earn your trust first, to prove my love to
you.”

“Look, Hawk. The baby is yours. There’s no
doubt about that. And I won’t be selfish. I’ll let you see him...
or her. But I don’t want any false pledges of allegiance that you
can’t and won’t keep. It’s not fair. It’s not fair to me or to
you.”

“This is not a false pledge. This is not a
pretty speech motivated by my desire to claim my son. “

“I wish I could believe that, Hawk. But I
can’t.”

He took small encouragement from her familiar
term of endearment. Gently he urged her closer until her head was
resting on his shoulders. Then he began to massage her back.

“My dear, stubborn Elizabeth. I’ll prove my
love to you.”

“It won’t work.”

“Why?”

“I’ve learned the hard way, Hawk. A woman
never forgets the hard lessons of experience.” She lifted her face
to his. “And I know you. Fighting is in your blood. This land
battle will be over soon, but there will be another. Some grand and
worthy cause will capture your attention, and you’ll feel the lust
for battle again.” She pulled out of his arms and stood back,
looking at him. “I won’t be the cause of you staying at a safe
distance, watching from afar while others take the chances and face
the danger.”

“I make my own choices, Elizabeth.”

“Precisely.” She whirled around so he
wouldn’t see the gleam of tears in her eyes. “You didn’t choose to
conceive this baby.”

“I chose you. Pregnancy is always a
possibility when there is passion. Especially when there is a
passion such as ours.” She heard the smile in his voice, but she
was not seduced. “Elizabeth, I love you,” he added softly.

She turned back around so she could see his
face. “How long have you loved me, Hawk?”

“Probably from the time I saw you standing in
your cellar with a gun.”

“How long?” She thrust out her chin and dared
him to make up a lie.

“I realized I loved you the day you came to
the barricade, the day of the shooting.”

“But you waited until now... until you found
out about the baby to say anything about it.” He started to speak,
but she held up her hand. “Please. Please, don’t say anything that
will embarrass both of us. I know why, Hawk. I don’t fit in with
your lifestyle. I didn’t fit in then, and I don’t fit in now.
You’re a warrior, not a family man.”

“Elizabeth, I will fight for you. But I need
to know my enemy. What terrible thing happened to you that keeps
you from my arms?”

“Let it lie, Hawk.”

“Look at me, Elizabeth.” He tipped her face
toward him. “Don’t you know that I would never hurt you? Don’t you
know that I would never leave you?” His hands caressed her tight
jaw. “Tell me. Trust me, Elizabeth.”

“I can’t.” She twisted away from him. “I’m
leaving now. When I come home from work, I don’t want you to be
here.”

She jerked up her purse, then turned for one
last word. “I won’t keep you from seeing this baby, Hawk, but I
will keep you out of my bed.”

He watched her leave. Then he quietly cleaned
up the kitchen. He had never expected such resistance. If he
thought too much about it, he might even convince himself that
Elizabeth was right, that he was offering marriage only for the
sake of the baby.

Perhaps the baby was the catalyst that had
thrust him on this course of marriage, or perhaps the attack on
Elizabeth was the thing that had made Hawk see how precious she was
to him. For whatever reason, he knew that he could not endure a
life without her.

After he had cleaned the kitchen, he went
back to the bedroom and sat in a chair beside the window to think.
And then his gaze fixed upon her diary. It lay on her bedside
table, closed and locked.

He walked across the room and picked it up.
What were the hard lessons of Elizabeth’s past? What terrible
things had happened to her that made her refuse to acknowledge or
even consider a future with him?

He turned the diary in his hand. The
temptation to read it was great. But he would never violate
Elizabeth’s privacy that way. There was only one thing to do—find
the man who had betrayed her, and then he would find the truth.

o0o

When Elizabeth got home she knew Hawk was not
there. The house had an empty, echoing feeling.

“So much for undying love,” she muttered as
she climbed the stairs.

She was more exhausted than she had expected
to be. She supposed the combination of pregnancy and a recent
hospital stay had sapped her energy—that, or a broken heart. Did
people die of broken hearts?

She walked into her bedroom, pulling off her
jacket and her skirt as she went. As she stretched across the bed,
she saw the note propped on her bedside table.

“I will be back,” he had written in a bold
hand. “I promise you that. Hawk.”

Elizabeth pressed the note to her lips, then
she folded it and slipped it inside her diary. She wondered if all
the important events in her life would eventually end up between
the pages of a locked diary.

o0o

Luck was with Hawk. Mark Laton was still
teaching at Yale, and he was willing to talk.

On the long flight north, Hawk tried to
imagine what the man would look like and what his own feelings
would be at seeing the man who had taught Elizabeth the art of
love.

“Is something wrong, sir?” a passing flight
attendant leaned down to ask.

Hawk loosened his grip on the seat handles
and relaxed the muscles of his face. “No. Everything is fine.”

“Good.” The flight attendant smiled. Maggie,
her name tag said. “We like all our passengers to be comfortable.
Enjoy your flight, sir.”

The only thing enjoyable about the flight was
that it put him closer to achieving his goal. All in all, he’d
rather have been on a horse. He fought the crowds at Kennedy
Airport, then rented a car and drove to New Haven.

Mark Laton was waiting for him at the
appointed place, in front of the towering Gothic structure on
Yale’s Memorial Quadrangle. Although the autumn air was much
nippier in Connecticut than in Mississippi, Hawk preferred to meet
this adversary out of doors. He believed it would give him a home
court advantage.

Mark Laton was smaller than Hawk would have
guessed, and much older. What had Elizabeth ever seen in such a
man? Involuntarily Hawk’s hands curled into fists, then he forced
himself to relax.

“Professor Laton.” Hawk sat on a bench
without extending his hand. He might have used subterfuge to get
this interview, but he was no hypocrite.

“Professor Black Hawk...”

“Just Black Hawk.”

“I can’t tell you how flattered I am that you
would come all the way from Mississippi to see me.”

“The paper you did on the Boethian influence
on the Clerk’s Tale is well-known. Every scholar of Chaucer should
read it.”

“Indeed they should. Boethius’s
Consolation of Philosophy
is just as relevant today as it
was then.”

The man was pompous and very susceptible to
flattery. The sooner Hawk dealt with him, the better. He stood up
so he would tower over the professor.

“At one time or another, all of us deal with
adversity.” Hawk gave the professor time to preen and get
comfortable, then went in for the kill. “How did you deal with
Elizabeth McCade?”

Mark Laton jerked his head back as if he had
been slapped. Then his eyes narrowed.

“Are you another one of those pesky newspaper
reporters?”

“No. This is personal. I am Black Hawk, and I
will have answers.”

“But you said you were a professor... that
you taught Chaucer.”

“You made that assumption yourself. I merely
talked about Chaucer.”

“This is unconscionable.” Mark Laton stood up
to leave, and Hawk caught his collar. Mark looked like a worm
caught on a hook.

“I am in a violent mood,” Hawk told him. “If
I get answers, I might restrain myself.”

“Put me down.”

“Only when you start to talk.”

Mark took Hawk’s measure, then his resistance
crumpled. “What do you want to know?”

“Everything.”

Mark sank back onto the bench and told how he
had seduced the brightest student in his class. Hawk sat through
Mark’s tale of introducing Elizabeth to the ways of love. He saw
Mark only dimly through a red curtain of rage.

Mark embellished the story, sliding his gaze
sideways at Hawk to see how much punishment he could inflict.

“Enough,” Hawk roared. “Tell me why she
left.”

“Because I wouldn’t marry her.” Mark puffed
out his chest and scored another point. “She loved me, you
see.”

“Did you love her?”

“No.”

Hawk caught Mark’s shirtfront and hauled him
close. “You lie. No man could possess Elizabeth and not love
her.”

Hawk fought a long, hard battle for control.
Finally he eased his hold. “Elizabeth told me that she once wanted
to kill you. If you don’t tell me the truth, I might oblige her by
doing the job myself.”

“It happened a long time ago.” Hawk waited.
The man was finally going to speak the truth. Hawk could sense
it.

“She came to me after class one day. I could
tell that she was unusually excited. She waited until all the other
students had gone, and then she sat in a front row seat, facing my
desk. I remember how prim she looked, how virginal. At that moment,
I wanted her more than I had ever wanted any woman in my life.

Hawk was as still as death.
Don’t let
passion control you now
, he told himself
.
Not when
the truth is within reach.

“She told me she was pregnant.” Mark paused
for breath, wringing his hands. In the telling, the sins of his
past had come alive once more. He felt like a very old man.

“I panicked,” Mark continued. “I opened the
desk drawer and pulled out my wedding ring. ‘How can I marry you?’
I said. ‘I already have a wife.’ She went very pale. I thought she
was going to faint. I felt sorry for her, but I knew I couldn’t
give her any hope. My job, indeed, my very life here at the
university was at stake. ‘Surely you knew,’ I said. ‘Nobody can be
that naive.’ But she was. I could tell. She had never known I was
married.” His voice trailed off, and he became silent.

“What happened next?” Hawk prompted, his
voice lashing out like a whip.

“I toyed with the idea of running away with
her, of chucking my job and divorcing my wife and setting up
another life with Elizabeth McCade.” Mark sighed. “But I didn’t.
Instead I laughed at her. ‘You’ve made two terrible mistakes,’ I
said. ‘Your first was in trusting me, and your second was in
getting pregnant.’“

Suddenly Mark’s shoulders slumped, and he sat
staring into space.

“What did Elizabeth do?” Hawk asked.

“She stayed on here a while, but she dropped
out of my class. Of course, I steered clear of her. I couldn’t
continue our secret liaisons after that.”

Hawk refrained from remark. Nothing he could
say or do would be adequate punishment for a man like Mark
Laton.

“There was talk around Yale. She lost her
scholarship. Some said she’d gone back to Mississippi.”

“What happened to the baby?”

“I don’t know.”

“She carried your child, and you don’t know
what happened to it?”

“It was not my responsibility. I made that
perfectly clear to her.”

“Killing you would be too merciful.” Hawk
stood and looked down on his adversary. “I think living with that
guilty secret must be the worst punishment you could have.”

Mark looked stricken as he glanced up at
Hawk. “You have no idea what a relief it is to finally tell someone
about this. I guess it’s been gnawing at my conscience for many
years.”

“Is there more?”

“No. I’ve told you everything.” Mark stood up
and faced Hawk like a man. He even squared his shoulders. “Will you
keep my secret?”