Warleggan (36 page)

'Don't forget your Margaret in the library.'

`No,' said Sir Hugh. He brightened a little at the thought
and his brow cleared, `No, there is that. I'll call in there on
the way.'

Ross stayed three nights at Looe.
Propositions were put
to him, and he needed time to think them out.

Blewett, to Ross's infinite
surprise, was in a position to repay him the £250
loaned when the copper-smelting company smashed. The small boatbuilding business had been a moderate investment when they bought it; but with war came boom conditions, and in six months they had doubled their
capital. So £250
was there for Ross's taking. He had been invited to Looe because Blewett, well aware that Ross's loan had saved him from bankruptcy and prison, was keen to repay the unwritten debt as well as the actual one and was prepared to offer Ross a share in their business. In order to judge fairly, he must see the yard.

Ross saw the yard. It was plain that money was being made there. His £250 would double itself in a year. As
a business
proposition it was first-rate.

But the yard was remote from where he lived. He could either find permanent lodging in, Looe or he could allow the work to go on in his absence and look on the thing simply as an investment. Or he could take the £250,
And if he took the E2
50
? Was the to put it aside for the emergencies of next Christmas? Or was he to pour it down the bottomless drain where £1500 of his had already gone?

Buried under twenty fathoms of rock and broken props was
a
lode of tin. He knew that. That much was not a speculation any more. Captain Henshawe had sacrificed a hard-earned £100 to prove it. But it had been, an unlucky venture from the start.

During the last weeks Ross had bitterly blamed himself for taking the risks which killed the two men. He knew that whatever the inducement he would never take those risks
again. But if he let it
be known
that he was
thinking of
restarting work on the mine, all the men who had
worked on it would flock back,
eager
to go down. Not one of them
would bother to inqu
ire the number of timbermen he
was likely to employ. For them it was the luck of the game
Although much had been agreed for the disposal of the headgear, scarcely anything had yet been moved. Two hundred and, fifty pounds would by no means be an excessive sum to get the mine restarted. It might indeed be insufficient. He wondered what Henshawe would say. He knew what Henshawe would say.

He took the £250.

As he set out the last stage
of the journey home, his mind returned to the
familiar devils, those which
had occupied so large a part of his waking thoughts during the last week. He had, not
seen Elizabeth since his visit
to her that might.' He could no
t evaluate his own feelings yet
and did not know hers. The only ones he was sure of were Demelza's,,
and as
he neared home he knew that some personal decisions had to be made and faced quickly if t
his own attitude was not to go by default. But how could
he explain or justify what he did not understand himself?

Ever since he left Elizabeth in the early hours of the morning he had been tormented with new problems. What he had done had brought Eli
zabeth very much down into the
arena. That might have simplified everything. In fact, he found it had not. All his old values had bee
n overthrown and he found
himself groping for new ones. As yet they were, not to be discovered.

This might have, been a, useful corrective had he supposed himself to be finding a solution when he broke into Trenwith House six, nights ago, but in fact the thing had
blown
up like a squall in his brainy there had been no time for calculated, motives or reasoned intentions., Reason came after and reason was still out of its depth.

When he got home, Demelza was
out. She had been out all day,
Jane Gimlett said in a peculiar voice. Ross had his supper alone, and then w
hen the sun set he asked which
way she had gone, and Jane said across Hendrawna Beach. He went to see-if there was, any sign of her.

It was a good two miles to the Dark Cliffs on the other side. The tide was high, and in the orange a
fterglow the sea had become an
unusual willow-pattern blue, so full, so overflowing, that it looked as if the land would never contain it. Halfway across he saw her
corning. She was walking slowly
stopping now and then to examine some offering of the tide
or
stir
a pile of seaweed wi
th her foot. She was in an old
dimity frock,, and her hair was beginning to curl as if i
t had been wet He remembered there had been
a
heavy shower
not long since.

He had to wait some ti
me before she came up with him.
At length they were within speaking distance, and she, smiled in a brilliant brittle fashion.

`Why, Ross, how
kind of you to come and meet me
! Have you had a pleasant week-end? Did it come up to exp
ectations? Mine did not. I went
to t
he Bodrugans, but 'twas nothing in my line so
I left early. Have you had supper? Yes, I suppose you have. Jane will have seen to that. Jane's a rare good seer
-
to-things. I' have been a long walk, miles beyond the Dark Cliffs. There's other sandy coves beyond there, but none with any deep water so I suppose they're no use
to Mr. Trencrom. Now-
'

`They're no use to Mr. Trencrom,' he said. `You're wet.' He touched her arm,, and noticed how she shrank away at his touch. T
hat shower. You'll be taking a
chill in the evening air.

'How thoughtful of you to think of it! But 'twas only a surface wetting: I have been wette
r than that today. One of
the little beaches was so pretty that I swam
in the sea. There was no one to observe but
the choughs. And how is Elizabeth? Is s
he still to wed George or have
you fixed another arrangement? I do not suppose she meant seriously to marry him, do you?'

`I haven't seen
Elizabeth this week-end,' he said quietly
enough but the muscles tight in
his cheek.

‘W
as there some hitch at the last moment? I thought 'twas all arranged.'

`I was at Looe,' he said, 'with Tonkin and Blewett. I d
on't li
e to you, Demelza. When I go to Elizabeth, I will tell you
of it.
’

'Oh, but does that, not constrain you unfairly, Ross? Might it not be th
ought even a little pompous? To
have to tell one's wife every time one int
ends to visit one's mistress.
Is it not makin
g a burden of one's enjoyments-‘

'No doubt you feel entitled to these pleas
antries. No doubt you are. Tell
me when you have done, and then we can talk.'

`No, Ross; you tell me when, you have done. Isn't that the way it should be?'

They faced each
other, At that moment she hated him deeply
-
as she had done all week-end
so much more deeply because she knew she was bound to him by apparently unbreakable chains, which h
e it seemed could cast aside at
will; because she had discovered it at great personal humiliation to herself
-
greater than -
she had ever imagined possible.

Ever since her
escape from Werry House with its valise burdened five-mile trek across broken country in the dark; the desperate haste to be home before daylight to be spared the final humiliation; the bruised knees and scratched hands of her
climb made worse at every gate and hedge -
ever since then the knife ha
d been in her, turning hourly,
the awful degradation of her struggle with McNeil, the utter disgrace of her flight. Had she yielded to McNeil, she
would not have felt one quarter
as bad, not one tenth, as bad.

Ross's adventures might have wounded her desperately, but the result of her own was not so much a wound as a goad.

Knowing nothing of this, he was taken aback by, the hostility in her eyes.
Especially because it had not bee
n present -
or not so noticeably present
-
after his return from Elizabeth.

He said: `You still think I've
been at Trenwith this weekend. I haven't. I never had an intention of going.
’

`You must do what you think best, Ross
,' she said. `Go and live with
her if you want to'

They began to walk again. A shag flew across the surface of the brimming sea so close that it might have been skating on it.

Ross
said
: `It is quite possible that Elizabeth's marriage to George will still take place.'

'Well, I'm sure you did your best to stop it.'

No doubt
I
did.'

She said `Does she love George, then?'

'No.'

She perceived suddenly that not she alone was in torment.

`Did any good come of your visit to Looe?'

Blewett has paid back what he owes.'

`What shall you do with it?'

`It is enough to restart the mine.'

She laughed. That startled him too, for it was not a winning laugh. He had never heard or seen her like this before.

'I can think of no better way to
use the money. It is not enough by
itself to discharge our liabilities.'' She would not answer.

'Oh, I know this mining is som
e taint in the blood, inherited
a fever.
I shall make the excuse that I
am doing it for Henshawe's sake, but it is not true. I do it for my own sake. If I did not do that, I should go to the war; and at the moment I have no
special wish
for that again.'

After a while they reached the stile; which marked the end of the sand and the beginning of grass and meadow. She went over first.
No
one would have thought her dependent on anyone.. Their words tonight had immeasurably widened the gulf between them. The fact that she had, been wrong in supposing him at Trenwith did not seem to carry the weight it should. Acts had been succeeded by principles. Hostility by omission had become hostility by commission. They were both desolate people, needing friendship and sympathy and finding none.

As they reached the garden Demelza said : 'When do you want for me to leave,
Ross?'

`Have I said that I wanted
you to?'

'No
. But I thought 'twould be better for you
-
for us both. I can find work easy.'

'And 'Jeremy'

'Jane can see for Jeremy, for the time being anyhow.' 'Do you want to leave?'

'I
-
think so. I want
to do what's right'

There was silence for a minute or two. He tapped some mud from his boot, his face half turned from her.

'God knows what's right, Demelza ! And, I don't believe there's anything to be gained by trying to do the right thing or the wrong thing in a situation such as this. We can only follow our own feelings so far as they lead and judge from day to, day. I don't want you to leave if you're willing to stay'

They had reached the door. She put her hand against the jamb, suddenly very tired. It was
a
long time since she
had
eaten.

'I'd like you to stay,' he said. `That's if you feel you can.'

'Very well. It's as you wish. But what I said about you going to live with Elizabeth
-
please do that if you want. George can
’
t marry her if you're there.'

He didn't speak

'When will you know?' she asked, 'What?'

'About George and Elizabeth's marriage.' 'I can't tell.... We'll hear.' 'She didn't promise to let you know?' 'She didn't.'

It was going dusk. The afterglow had ended. Demelza stared
out over her garden.' A bat
flitted before the fading face
of
the sky. A hundred times before she had taken
a
last look
here before going in
-
But never like this. She had never thought
it would be li
ke this. The garden was nothing to
her f any
more. Let it run to waste and let the giant
weeds grow. It
would match the desolation in her soul.

An hour before t
his George had come in haste to
see Elizabeth.

He said: `When I had your letter, I came straight away, Elizabeth. I knew if I didn't see you tonight I should not sleep. What's the meaning of it? I can make neither head nor tail of your, reasons. Explain what it is that is troubling you.'

He spoke more sharply than he had ever done
before to her, but she was far too caught up with her
own feelings to notice it.

`All this week,
George, I have been thinking, worrying. It seemed
somehow it came home to me that I was, plunging into this marriage without due respect for Francis's memory. It
isn't vet twelve months. Dear
George, please try to appreciate my feelin
gs. I've no one to advise me.
To be married in secret
-
ooh, I know it was my own request
-
but in such
haste does not look seemly. All this week I have been turning it over in my mind, and at last I plucked up courage to write
to you - ' 'Three days before the wedding.
’

'It is only a postponement!, Perhaps two months
-
or even six weeks
-
and I should feel better about it. I don't somehow feel I can go into it with relish so soon. People will say that I have married you for your money and-'

`People will talk if you sit all day by your own fireside. They concern me no more than the gnats on a summer pond. What i
s your real reason for asking a
delay?'