War Woman (8 page)

Gripping her hips, he pressed himself more firmly against her core where he longed to be. She answered in kind, her hands skimming down his back to grasp his buttocks and pull him closer to her. “Atsila…” his voice was ragged as he spoke, “you have no idea how much I have dreamed of a moment like this. I was bound to you from the moment I saw you.”

The words spoken out loud seemed to grant him a temporary reprieve from the almost overwhelming need that engulfed his body. Pausing, he became dimly aware of something blunt and hard pressing into his chest. Leaning back slightly he reached between them and pressed gently on her chest, his fingers molding around something that felt like rock beneath her clothing.

“What’s this?”

“It’s a pouch containing my divining crystals.”

“Divining crystals?”

“Yes. They provide guidance in times of need.”

“Really? What kind of guidance?”

“Whether we will have victory in a battle…where to find something that is stolen or lost…how long someone will live. It varies.” She smiled seductively at him. “Do you really want to discuss crystals right now?”

It was only then that Jonathan seemed to fully grasp their situation. Atsila was wedged firmly between his body and the rock and though her face was flushed with desire, he was ashamed at how he had lost control. He stepped back, though his body screamed silently in protest, and drew her gently away from the rock surface before letting his arms drop to his sides. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

Atsila stared back at him. “I’m not sorry,” she replied honestly. “If you remember, I kissed you first.”

“How could I forget.” He looked at her longingly and the desire to reach out and pull her back to him was so potent that it was a real struggle to maintain his self-control. Drawing on all his military discipline, however, he refrained from doing so.

“Atsila, there’s something I need to tell you. I wasn’t going to but now…well, let’s just say living in your village, where everyone has such a passion for life, it’s inspired me to go after the things I truly want. I want you, Atsila, but not just for a couple of hours or a night or even a few weeks. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want you to be only mine and for me to be only yours. I love you.”

He paused briefly, trying to assess her reaction, before he continued. “I want you to be my wife and I won’t lie with you if we are not married. It’s part of my moral values but in all honesty it’s more a means of holding onto my sanity. You’re already under my skin, in my thoughts day and night. If I lay with you and you left me I would be tormented by the knowledge of what I’d had and lost. Better that I remain in ignorance than to know the taste of you and then be denied it forever more. If you don’t feel the same way about me then I understand but if that’s the case then please tell me now. In the end, it’s kinder that way.”

It was evident that she was considering his words and formulating a reply but her expression was impossible to read. Though every part of him protested the thought, he braced himself for her refusal.

“How do you see our life together?”

The question surprised him as he had expected a flat out denial. “I’ll leave the army. I want to fight for the things I believe in. We would live together following the Cherokee customs, as if I were a Cherokee man. I don’t want or expect you to change and adapt to a foreigner’s way of life. I don’t want ownership of your land or your possessions. All I want is a promise of fidelity on both sides. You would of course be free to leave me at any point if that’s what you wanted…though if it ever gets to that, I would prefer you let me get mauled by a bear.” He shrugged and smiled.

Atsila laughed at his words. However, her expression was neutral with her next words. “What about the forced removals?”

“If the village has to move then we’ll move with it. They need you and I’ll go wherever you go.”

Atsila stepped forward and took both his hands in her own. “You may not be born Cherokee, Jonathan, but you have the Cherokee spirit inside you.” She leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on his lips that deepened until he let go of her hands to run his hands through her hair, reveling in the way the strands slipped and slid between his fingers.

His lips smiled against her own as he whispered “I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time. Your hair is so thick and soft…”

She returned his smile, enjoying the sensation of his fingers playing with her hair.

“So does this mean yes? Will you marry me?”

“It’s not the traditional way of proposing marriage but we’re not a traditional union, are we?” She grinned at him. “Yes, Jonathan, I will be your wife.”

He gripped her tightly and lifted her off her feet to swing her around in his arms. The move was unexpected and full of giddy delight and caused her to laugh before he set her down on her feet again and savored her lips with his own, lightly running his tongue over them. She could feel his desire building along with her own as the kiss took on an edge of franticness and his hands molded her hips as he held her body against his own. With a great effort, however, he eventually broke the kiss.

“You tempt me beyond all reason,” his words were slightly breathless as he tried to regain his composure.

“Then I won’t suggest we swim together. In this pool I always swim without clothes on.”

He groaned audibly at the visual she had created in his mind, noting her cheeky smile and the mischievous way she looked at him. Taking a deep breath, he stepped back. “I’m going to leave you to your swim now.” Lifting her hand to his lips, he kissed it softly. “I’ll see you back at the village.” He turned and headed back to what would become his new home. Even if the forced removals came to pass, and as a realist he accepted that they would almost certainly be enforced eventually, he felt more optimistic about his life now than he could ever remember having felt in his past.

Jonathan borrowed one of Running Bear’s horses for the journey back to his army base. He had considered taking one of the horses that his group of soldiers had used, the ones which had been taken by the Cherokee after the fight. However, he would need a horse for the return journey and he was sure the army would not let him keep one of their own horses. Atsila however had questioned his need to return to his base at all.

“They probably think you’re dead. You don’t have to go back.” She stood beside his horse, stroking its mane as he loaded up supplies for the journey. She saw he was about to protest and stopped him. “I know your reasons. They are honorable if not entirely smart.”

Jonathan cupped her face in his hands. “I need this chapter of my life to be done. I owe it to the others as well.” He kissed her softly before resuming his preparations for the trip. When he was packed and ready to go, he drew her into his arms and held her tightly, resting his forehead against hers as his fingers played with the tips of her strands of hair.

“I don’t know how long it will take me to get back. There’ll be reports and it might take a while to be officially discharged. Just know that I’ll be thinking of you the whole time and the life we’ll make together. I love you, Atsila.”

“Stay safe, my love. Even though you’ll be gone, you’ll still be here in my heart.” She kissed him softly and watched as he mounted the horse before taking her hand and kissing it, as he’d done the week before by the pool.

“I’ll see you in my dreams.” With these words Jonathan rode out of the village and began the two days’ journey back to his army base. As he rode he pondered his reasons for the journey. Atsila was right. They probably did think he was dead, along with the rest of the soldiers. That or desertion. It was not uncommon for soldiers to desert the army. Living conditions were sometimes dire, pay could be delayed for many months, there were often shortages of food and other supplies…and on top of that some people were conscripted and forced to fight for something they didn’t believe in. Many of the men had families who were struggling to survive without them, putting them in the tough position of deserting as a necessity in order to look after their wives and children.

Jonathan had joined the army willingly after both his parents had died from cholera. He had no dependents and hadn’t cared much for the thought of farming his parents’ small amount of land. He had been young and full of wanderlust, wanting to see what lay beyond his small sphere of existence. Besides, he didn’t want to remain in a place that reminded him of his parents. So he’d sold the land, placed the majority of the money from the sale in investments that would be managed by his father’s close friend who had experience in such matters, and had left to join the army. He had saved most of his army pay over the years, unsure what he would do with it, but now, combined with the money from his investments, he would use it to help Atsila’s village during the forced removal. There would need to be food provisions purchased, shelter supplies, more horses…

The journey back to his base was uneventful. He remembered the route well enough to make it back without getting lost. His pace slowed as he neared the camp and heard shouts from the soldiers as they spotted him in the distance and went to inform their superiors that a figure was approaching. On his arrival he informed the soldiers who he was and asked to be granted time to make a report to one of the officers at their convenience. He was informed that an officer would see him in an hour and while he waited he washed himself and ate a small meal.

Walking around the camp after his meal, he gazed at the faces of the men as they passed, intent on their various duties. The camp hadn’t changed at all, as if he had never left. However he had changed completely. He didn’t recognize any of the men but that was to be expected in a fairly large camp. He returned to the camp’s headquarters and waited until he was shown in to Colonel Farraday’s office.

“Sir,” Jonathan stood to attention as the colonel looked up from the paperwork on his desk.

“Private Wilson, is it?” The colonel leaned back in his chair and observed him shrewdly.

“Yes, sir.”

“Take a seat. I’ve been informed that you have news regarding Sergeant Jefferies and his men.”

“Yes, sir.”

Jonathan proceeded to inform the colonel about what had happened, a lower-ranking officer making notes discreetly at the side of the room as Jonathan spoke. By the end of Jonathan’s report, the colonel looked grave. “We wondered what had happened to those men. Now we know.”

“Yes, sir. I wanted to make sure that the army knew they hadn’t deserted. Also now their families can be informed about their deaths, rather than never knowing if they were alive or not.”

“And you spent almost three months in captivity as a prisoner.”

“It wasn’t quite like that, sir.”

“What was it like?”

“They treated me kindly.”

“Well were you free to go at any time?”

“They let me leave to come here, sir. I didn’t have to escape.” Jonathan had to consider his words carefully. He didn’t want the colonel to realize the full extent of the freedom he had had while staying in the village. It would only encourage the colonel to press for further details of the village layout, details which Jonathan had provided a bare minimum of when informing the colonel about their second attempt at reconnaissance, when Running Bear had been captured. He certainly didn’t mention anything about Atsila or his plans to marry her.

After a further few questions, the colonel nodded. “Thank you, Private. You did the right thing. If you don’t mind we’ll get this report written up and you can sign it.”

“Of course, sir.”

“Very well. Thank you for your time.”

“There was one more thing I wanted to speak to you about, sir.”

“Yes?” The colonel stared at him enquiringly.

“Given the past few months I’ve come to some realizations about myself. These last three months have changed me.”

“I’m sure they have, Private.”

“I would like to leave the army.”

“Considering you were held prisoner for three months, I think it’s fair to grant you some leave. Take two weeks.”

“No sir, I mean permanently leave. I’ve served in the army for five years but it’s not the life for me. No disrespect intended,” he added.

“Private, I understand where you’re coming from but you’ve just spent three months behind enemy lines. Of course you’ll feel fatigued.”

Jonathan wanted to protest that he didn’t view the Cherokee as the enemy but the present situation was not the place to voice such views.

“Listen, you probably feel unrewarded, as if you’re struggling in vain. But you aren’t. You’re doing your country a proud service and I think it’s time your service was recognized. I’m promoting you to Sergeant. We could use more men like you in the upper ranks. You could get there one day.”

Jonathan stared at the colonel. This was not how he had expected this conversation to go. “Thank you, sir, for your consideration. I’m very grateful to you. But I’m not trying to get a promotion. I want to settle down. My father was a farmer. It’s what I would like to do now.” That wasn’t a lie. Essentially he
would
be following in his father’s footsteps, farming the land with Atsila. He smiled inwardly at the thought. His father’s quiet existence and the simple pleasure he took from the land would be the same life Jonathan would soon lead and this knowledge made him happy. He’d quenched his desire for wanderlust. His body was bruised and tired, his soul was weary and heavy with the violence he had experienced, the blood he had shed. Soon though he would have a place to rest; somewhere to call home and a woman to share it with, a woman he would cherish for the rest of his life.