Wanted (51 page)

“Gunner…..” It was all I could manage to get out of my mouth. I watched as a smile came across that beautiful face of his.

“Another first baby?”

I started to laugh. “
YES!
Another first!
”

Gunner grabbed me by the back of the head and kissed the shit out of me again. He pulled away
and kissed the tip of my nose.

“My God Ellie the things you do to me baby. I want to make you feel that good every day.”

“I would be
okay
with that!”

Gunner t
hrew his head back and laughed.

“Ellie thank you for allowi
ng me to do that for you. You’
ve had a very busy day of firsts haven’t you?”

I let out a giggle as he slowly sta
rted to lower me to the ground and I adjusted my bra.

“Yes but I think that last one was my favorite
out of all of them!
” I said as I lo
ok
ed up at him. My god he was so handsome and hi
s eyes were filled with…….love.

Gunner pushed me back up against the jeep and started to kiss me again. It was the most magical moment of my life and nothing would ever top it.

Gunner slowly moved his lips from mine but kept them just barley touching mine.

“Ellie…..I love you…….”

Nope, I was so wrong…
….that was the
most magical moment of my life.

“I love you too Drew
.”

Gunner pulled b
ack his head and star
ed at me in shock. I was pretty damn shocked myself that I just said that out loud. It was true though and it felt like th
e exact right moment to say it.

Then he smiled. I felt my body slowly start sliding down the jeep……my knees would not hold me up. Gunner reached around my hips and pulled me and pressed me into the jeep
again
.

“You just made me the happiest man on earth Ellie Johnson. I will love you for the rest of my life baby.”

Then he kissed me so slow and so sweet. My heart was squeezing in my chest. I did
it;
I gave my heart away to someone when I swore I would never do it again. I prayed to God that Gunner was right….will he love me the rest of his life? Will he always want me?

You will never be wanted by anyone……..

I felt a tear roll down my face. Gunner must have felt it too. He pulled back an
d wiped it away with his thumb.

“Please tell me that is a happy tear sweetheart.”

“
Yes
, yes it is. Promise me that you will not break my heart Drew. Promise me that will you?”

He lo
ok
ed at me and his eyes started to fill with tears. Oh my…..

“Ellie, I would rather die than ever break your heart. I have never in my life felt like this. I would lay down my life for you if I had to. I love you baby.”

I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck as he lifted me off the ground. I wanted to stay rig
ht here just like this forever!

In Gunner’s arms layin
g under the stars at the ranch.

“You ready to head back to the house sweetheart?”

Every time he called me sweetheart or baby my stomach did flip flops. I loved it so much. I loved him so much. Yes….I loved him and if he was willing to take a
leap of faith on us, so was I.

“
Okay
, except we hardly ate anything your grandmother packed. I feel so bad!”

“Don’t worry about
it
. We can take it with us down to the river tomorrow. Jeff and I have a few things to take care of in the morning around the ranch but we are free all afternoon. What do you say you and A
ri meet us at the river around one
?
”Gunner said as he brought the basket back over to the jeep and I folded up the blank
et and set it on the back seat.

“Sounds good
,
but how will we find our way to the river? This place is HUGE!”

Gunne
r let out a laugh as he went to start
the jeep. It wouldn’t turn over. Oh shit. After two mo
re attempts it finally started.

“I need to tell Drake that the battery needs replacing in this thing. Make sure y’all take my truck tomorrow and I will have Grams tell y’all how to get there in the morning.”

Gunner reached over and gave me a kiss before he pulled out onto the gravel road and headed back to the ranch house. I had never in my life felt as happy as I did
at
this moment. I never wanted to leave. I thought I was so excited about starting school at UT in the fall but I found myself dreaming of starting a
family with Gunner and living here on the ranch. What a silly dream….he was going to school to become an Archite
ctural Engineer, not a rancher.

We drove in silence until we reached the ranch house. Before Gunner got out
I reached over and held his arm to stop him.

He turned and lo
ok
ed at me with a smile. “What’s wrong sweetheart?”

I was not sure why I needed to ask him this but it all of a sudd
en became very important to me.

“Nothing is wrong it’s just….well I mean with us talking about wanting kids and everything I just…..well I just wanted to ask you…..shit….this is not coming out right!”

“Ellie, I’
ve already told you sweetheart you ca
n ask me anything you want. I’
ll
never hide anything from you.”

“I just was wondering where you saw yourself in the future? I mean I know you only have one more year of college and your degree is in Architectural Engineering but you also love football so much. Jefferson mentioned that you already had NFL teams interested in y
ou. Do you see yourself
play
ing
pro football?”

Gunner sat back in his seat and pushed his hand through his hair. Holy hell I loved it when he did that and I s
tarted to get that damn ache
between my legs again. I had to fiddle around in my seat to ease the ache.
Gesh
how does he turn me on
so easily?

Gunner lo
ok
ed over at me after sitting there
for almost a minute in silence.

Oh shit….here it is….. I just knew he was going to say he sees himself play
ing
pro ball….did I want to be with someone who would be traveling all the time….the women who would always be after his attention I just couldn’t imagine it….my heart just sank.

“Honestly Ellie, my drea
m ever since I was a little kid
was to build
and design
buildings and
to run this ranch. I f
igured I could do both so that’
s why I majored in Architectural Engineering. Jeff and I both are going to get hired on where we have been interning after we get out of school but I already worked it out to where I would do most of my work from out here. My number one dream is to take over this ranch. I would like to get married here, have my kids here and raise them right here on the ranch.”

I was not expecting him to say
that. It felt like at least one hundred
butterflies went off in my stomach. Would he ever want that life with…..me?

“So, no pro football even though you have teams trying to get you signed on?” I asked as I fiddled with my hands.

“No Ells, no pro football. I don’t want to be away from the people I love. Especially with my grandparents getting older I want to be here for them. Take the burden off of them with the ranch and I if I am really blessed I hope to give them great grandkids.”

“Oh wow….um…that sounds wonderful Gunner.” I turned to open the door to get out of the jeep but Gunner grabbed my hand and stopped me.

H
e started to laugh. “Well that’
s not really fair. You get to ask me about my future, what about yours?”

What was I going to say? Oh well
okay
…I have only known you for a little over a month now but I want to marry you and have your kids and live out here on your family’s ranch. Yeah that would scare him the fuck off!

“Well I guess I’
m not really sure where I see my future. I’m starting college soon so I guess that is really about as far as I’m thinking right now
just going to college
.” I said with a shrug
of
my shoulders.

Gunner’s face fell and it lo
ok
ed like he was devastated. What the hell? What did I say wrong?

He slowly gave me a small smile and let go of my hand. He got out of the jeep so fast I almost didn’t see him grab the bas
ket and head to the front door.

OH SHIT! I guess I
pretty much
just
told him I didn’
t think I saw him in my future.

OH NO! FUCK!

“Gunner
wait
a minute! T
hat’
s not the truth, that’s not the truth at all.”

“It’s
okay
Ellie, we have different ideas about our future it’s not that big of a deal.” He said as he turned to walk away. How could he say that? Why would he say that?

“Gunner please
stop
! D
on’t walk away from me after what just happened between us.”

Gunner stopped and turned to lo
ok
at me. “I would never walk away from you Ellie. Ever…..”

I walked up to him and stood on the porch next to him. I was scared out of my mind to tell him what I really saw but I knew I had to. For some reason I had to let him know I saw the same future and I just prayed to God that it was me he saw in his future like it was
him I saw in mine.

“Gunner, this is all moving so fast for me and…well…..
it
was huge for me to tell
you how I feel about you. I’
m so
scared;
you have no idea how scared I am. I love you! I love you with all of my heart and the moment I got out of your truck earlier today all I could think about was being here, right here on this ranch, sitting on this porch with
you
and watching sunsets and sunrises with
you
and seeing
our
kids running all over the place and Emma teaching me how to make all your favorite foods. I have not been able to stop thinking about it
all day
and it scares the fuck out me!” I just spilled all that out and Gunner was just standing there staring at me
with no emotion on his face
.
I had to sit down.

Oh shit…
I think I’
m going to throw up!
Oh god I can’t breathe!

I walked over and sat down on one of the chairs. I leaned my head down into my hands and cursed myself for being so stupid! How could
I
lay
my whole heart
out there
like that
? OH MY GOD….

You will never be wanted by anyone……………..

I heard Gunner put the basket down and walk over to me. He got down on his knees and just stayed like that. What was he waiting for? What was he doing? I slowly lifted my head to lo
ok
at him. What was I
going to see? Probably pity in his eyes….just bec
ause he said he loves me doesn’
t mean he wants to spen
d the rest of his life with me.

When I lo
ok
ed up I let out a gasp. Gunner had tears streaming down his face!
Holy hell
……

“Gunner…..what’
s wrong? Why are you crying?”

The next thing I knew he put his head down in my lap and just…..cried. I was shocked. I picked up my hand and started running it through his hair. Why in the world was he so upset?

“Gunner I’
m so sorry if I made you upset
I…
I don’t know why I just told you all of that…I com
pletely understand if you don’t
feel the same way about me……”

“Ellie stop talking.”

I instantly stopped talking. He lo
ok
ed u
p at me and had the most breath
taking smile on his face. I didn’t mean to but I smiled back at him.

“When you told me earlier that you loved me….I just can’t even begin to t
ell you happy you made me. F
or you tell me that in your
future you saw marr
y
ing me, having
kids with
me and living out here with me…….
I fe
el like I could just explode I’
m so fucking happy right now. I know we are so raw right now….it’s way too soon to even be talking about this but goddamn it Ellie. I want nothing more than to do exactly what you just said and do it with only you baby.”