Wallflowers

Wallflowers

Ryan walked into St. Ignatius church. He knew he was late for Brian and Anne's wedding rehearsal, but there was little he could do about it. His flight had been delayed by more than four hours and, frankly, he was lucky to have made it here at all.

At least he wasn't the best man, just one of four ushers to stand with Brian, frat brothers all of them.

He looked to the front of the church, grinning at Brian. He would have recognized the man anywhere. Sure, Brian had put on some weight, but he still looked pretty much just as he had when they'd been in Phi Kappa Epislon together.

Next to Brian was a man he didn't know, but guessed was Anne's brother, the best man. And next to him the three other ushers. Derek, Will, and DJ.

Daniel James Delout. Fuck, the man looked
good.

Not that Ryan was biased or anything. In fact it would have been easier if DJ was the one with the extra weight or something, anything to take away from the blond, blue-eyed good looks.

They'd had a thing back in college. Okay, it had been more than a thing, but he'd been so scared back then, refusing to come out, worried all the time that someone would discover their secret.

He thought he'd put it behind him, thought that seven years was more than enough time to erase the old feelings. He'd thought wrong. The minute he saw DJ his belly clenched, and his heartbeat sped into a rapid tattoo.

If Brian hadn't already caught sight of him and started waving for him to come up and join the wedding party, Ryan might have slipped out and skipped the rehearsal altogether.

It was too late now, though, and he headed for the wedding party, taking his place at the end, beside DJ. He aimed a quiet, "Sorry, I couldn't help it," to the bride and groom.

"We got the text. No stress." Anne was as pretty as a picture, with a smile that would stop a clock. "Besides, DJ was in the same pickle. Both of you stuck in Toronto; that stinks."

He glanced over at DJ, surprised. There's no way they could have been on the same flight into town; he would have noticed the man. DJ shrugged, but didn't look over, just smiled a soft, almost secretive grin.

Well, that wasn't awkward at
all.

He sighed and shot Anne a smile. If this had been anyone but Brian, he would have found an excuse not to come. Now he was wishing he hadn't been able to get time away from the team or something.

"Okay, DJ, is Walter going to be with you for the ceremony?"

"He doesn't have to be, but he is helpful."

Oh wow. Ryan hadn't expected to be as affected by DJ as he was when he saw the man again, but he really hadn't anticipated the kick in his gut to hear that DJ was with someone and had not only brought the guy, but Anne was offering to have him at the fucking ceremony.

"Brian?" Anne asked, turning to her husband-to-be.

"Honey, it's your day. Is it going to bother you?"

Anne's laugh rang out. "Well, it's not like he's going to pee on the alter, he's better trained than DJ."

Ryan's mouth dropped open at her comment. He'd walked into fucking wonderland here.

Everyone else laughed, though, then DJ whistled. "Walter, get your fuzzy butt over here."

A beautiful, large golden retriever with a service dog harness stood and headed right for DJ.

What?

WHAT?

"What?" The word shot out of Ryan's mouth and it was everything he could do not to clap his hand over his lips.

"Do you have a problem with dogs, man?" Brian looked about as shocked as he could be.

"No, of course not, I just..." He looked, really looked, at DJ.

The man's eyes were open, searching, but not landing on anything for any time.

No.

No way.

Not DJ. The man was an architect, for fuck's sake.

An artist.

Young.

"I didn't know," he managed tightly.

Everyone looked around--talk about fucking awkward--and it was DJ who broke the silence. "Yep. Now it's out. I'm having a torrid relationship with my seeing eye dog."

Ryan chuckled. DJ always had had a crazy sense of humor.

Brian grinned, obviously back at ease after DJ's words. "So, the good part is that the groomsmen will all be standing up at the front, so we don't have to worry about DJ tripping over himself."

DJ flipped Brian off.

Ryan wondered how long DJ had been blind, and how come everyone but he seemed to know about it. Of course, no one but DJ knew what the two of them had been to each other in college, so it wasn't like they'd have especially thought of him in connection to DJ.

The rest of the rehearsal went on in a fairly business-like manner, Brian saying more than once that he just wanted to get through this so they could get to the rehearsal dinner already and toss a few back.

Ryan found himself spending most of his time watching DJ.

The man was really with it, careful, quiet, but always smiling, always listening.

Derek came up when it was over and gave him a man hug. "Hey, dude. Creepy, huh?"

"What, the whole wedding thing?" Because Ryan wasn't going to comment on DJ being blind, not when he was still so gobsmacked about it.

"God, yes. Brian's like a puppy."

Joining them, Will snorted. "Wait until it's you. Riana and me--we were stupid at first."

"Yeah, but he's always been like a puppy." As Brian's college friends standing up with him at the wedding, it was their job to tease the shit out of him, right?

"Woof woof." Derek grinned, nodded. "I swear, I'd heard about DJ, but I didn't
get
it until I saw him."

"Nobody bothered to let me know." Ryan reminded himself again that no one but DJ knew they'd been an item. Hell, he still wasn't out. And God knew he and DJ hadn't parted on the best of terms, him refusing to come out, DJ refusing to keep lying.

"I heard from Will." Derek pointed at the man.

Will shrugged. "I knew you two weren't friends anymore. Hell, it's been going on a long time, I guess."

"That's gotta suck." He couldn't imagine going through it himself. Shit, he couldn't imagine his DJ going through it, either. He found himself looking for the man.

DJ was sitting in the front row, by himself. Well, the dog was there.

"Hey, Willie, Derek, see you guys at the restaurant, okay?" Ryan clapped them on the back and went over to DJ. He couldn't not go.

DJ's head tilted as he got closer. "Derek?"

"No, man. It's Ryan." He moved to stand next to DJ. "Can I sit?"

"Absolutely. I'm supposed to ride with Derek to the restaurant. He hasn't left, has he?"

Ryan turned, just catching Derek on his way out with Will. "Yeah. I guess he figured I'd take you. Which I will." He sat next to DJ, feeling the man's warmth.

"Oh. Well, thank you. I'm sorry."

"It's all right, I'm heading that way anyway." And how weird was this? Weirder because DJ was blind. Blind. Shit, he still couldn't quite believe it.

"Toronto, huh?" DJ asked. At least one of them wasn't tongue-tied. "Where were you flying from?"

"Vancouver. You?"

DJ nodded. "I live on the West End, near Davie Village."

"You what? Shit, we're nearly neighbors." That was something else.

"Yeah? I moved there...three years ago? Once things started getting harder."

"What happened?" He supposed that was the question he really wanted to know first.

"It's genetic." DJ shrugged. "They thought that I'd missed it, but I was in trouble by the time I was in my mid-twenties. I can see light and dark now, but that'll be done in a year or two."

"Jesus. That's...it sucks." He put his hand on DJ's knee, his instinct to comfort.

"Yeah. I wish I'd have known earlier. I would have looked at more things." DJ's leg jerked a little under his touch.

Ryan took his hand away awkwardly. "I can't imagine what it must be like."

"I have a good life. What about you? Are you married? Happy?"

"Married? Me?" He laughed, though it was a little bitter. He was gay and in the closet. No, he wasn't married. He didn't suppose he ever would be. "There's never been anyone else." He hadn't meant to say that, but it was too late to take the words back.

"Oh." DJ's head tilted. "I'm sorry to hear that. You should know, I'm out. Like completely out. If you don't want to take me to the restaurant..."

He envied DJ that courage. It was no wonder the man was dealing with the blindness with such aplomb--DJ had a core of strength. "I'm not abandoning a blind man in a church. Besides, why wouldn't I take my old friend to the restaurant when everyone else is already gone?" A large part of him wished he'd said he didn't care, wished he could say that.

"Absolutely right." DJ stood. "Let's go. I need to let Walter do his business before I make him sit at supper."

"He's a beautiful dog." As soon as the words were out of his mouth he wanted to kick himself. Nice one, tell the blind guy his dog looks good.

"He's a shithead and he makes me laugh, every day."

"Good, you've got a great laugh." It seemed it was his day for letting his mouth spew out every stupid thought in his head.

DJ chuckled. "You sound exhausted and stressed out."

"I hate being stuck at the airport." He stood and offered his hand to DJ before realizing the man couldn't see him.

"I hate flying." DJ stood, bumped into him. "Sorry."

"No, it's okay. I should have gotten out of your way." God, he'd been thrown by DJ in the first place, even though he'd known the man would be here, but with everything else, he was feeling...so much. He took DJ's hand and put it on his arm. "Is this okay?"

"Thank you. Come on, Walter. Let's go." DJ seemed so easy in his skin; it was absolutely insane.

It also made the man as sexy as ever. Maybe even sexier. That confidence in himself, in who he was, had always appealed to Ryan.

He headed out of the church with DJ and Walter, and sure enough, the parking lot was deserted except for his rental. "I haven't even checked in at the hotel." It had been straight here from Budget at the airport.

"Did you want to just go there?"

Ryan led them over to a grassy spot for the dog to do his business. "I'm not opposed to ordering room service." He didn't really feel like sitting in a restaurant where most everyone already knew each other, had family or at least significant others there. That decided it. "Yeah, I'll text Brian a head's up so they know we didn't get lost or anything."

"Okay." DJ could stand more quietly than anyone he'd ever seen. Ever.

When the dog had done his business, Ryan took DJ's arm again and led him over to the car, opening the door for him. "Walter will go in the back, right?"

"He will. He's exceptional in the car."

Ryan opened the back door and Walter jumped right in, settling easily on the backseat. Huh. Cool.

Going around to driver's side, he climbed in and programmed in the hotel address into the GPS. He was pretty sure he knew the way there, but it had been seven years since he'd lived here and better safe than sorry. "How do you usually get around?"

"At home? I walk, mostly. If I need to go somewhere outside my comfort zone, I hire a cab or my assistant goes with me. She's a neat woman, incredibly efficient. Her first grandson is due any day, though, so I couldn't ask her to come." DJ shrugged. "I knew you guys would be here."

"Cool. Are you already checked in?" He hoped so, there wasn't any luggage for DJ.

"I am. I got a taxi from the airport and then the hotel hired me a driver to here." He smiled. "There are benefits to being special needs sometimes."

"Like getting on an earlier flight when there's a delay?"

"You know it." DJ chuckled. "It's a challenge, Walter in a huge airport. They had incentive."