Walk among us (8 page)

Outlines first. Black pencil.

He started with the shape of Matthew’s head, his chin high, looking off to the side a little in order to capture the proud profile. He just wanted to know if he could draw Matthew at all first. A study to see if it was even worth portraying him in a greater canvas. There was always the chance that the life that made Matthew glow would be beyond Calvin’s grasp. That happened. Too often for him to like. It meant there were limitations to what he could do, a cap on whatever modicum of talent he possessed.

Art was the one thing Calvin could claim for himself. He hated it when he discovered even that was not enough sometimes.

WalkAmongUs:ACallingofSoulsstory

His beer arrived as he worked on the curve of the mouth. The first attempt was too full. It made Matthew look like a girl, and while his lips were as lush—if not more—than most women Calvin knew, there was nothing feminine about the man at all. He took a long sip as he dug around in the bag for his eraser. The bartender cocked an amused brow when he scrubbed the lines away, but Calvin didn’t care. The important thing was to get it right.

The second was still not perfect. The third missed the slight bow to his upper lip. The fourth made Calvin’s hand shake as he set down the pencil to take another swig of his beer. That was the mouth he still remembered kissing. That was the mouth that made his water, even now.

While he worked on the nose, someone slid onto the stool next to him. Calvin didn’t look up, but he heard a man order, saw the bartender turn away to grab a mug and fill it with one of the beers on tap. Did Matthew drink beer? He didn’t know. There hadn’t been any in the fridge, but that didn’t necessarily mean anything.

He added a flare to a nostril. He loved how Matthew did that when he was about to pounce.

Calvin had just started the eyes when his neighbor spoke.

“You’re very good.”

He glanced up through his lashes. The voice’s owner was a little younger than him, with a narrow face and wide-set blue eyes. A friendly smile softened the harsher angles of his cheeks.

He bowed back to his task. “Thanks.”

It’s the melancholy that’s going to kill me. How do I catch that? Maybe if I…no, that’s not going to work.

Do the outline first. Maybe I’ll see how to fix it then. Damn it, this pencil’s too blunt.

As he reached for the bag, Calvin noticed that the man still watched him. His hand slowed, but that only seemed to encourage him.

“Are you doing that from memory?” he asked. “Because the only guy in here who looks as good as he does is you.”

The obvious compliment brought a flame to Calvin’s cheeks. He cast a furtive glance around, wondering who might have overheard, but nobody was paying any attention to the two men sitting at the end of the bar.

“It’s a friend.” He fumbled with the sharpener, the bag rattling in protest. “And it’s nothing. I’m just doodling.”

“Looks like more than a doodle to me.”

Calvin glanced back at the pad. The man had a point. Even without eyes, the sketch was clean and crisp.

“I’m John, by the way.”

Only manners spurred him to respond. “Calvin.”

John played with his glass, turning it in his hands so the bottom scraped along the counter. When he didn’t speak up again right away, Calvin resumed drawing, doing everything he could to focus on getting the WalkAmongUs:ACallingofSoulsstory

eyes right. They were crucial. They said everything there was to know about Matthew. If he couldn’t do those, he’d never be able to transfer the sketch to a bigger composition.

There’s a line there at the corner. The deepest one.

He knew that line intimately. He’d traced it with the tip of his tongue over and over again until Matthew had chuckled and pushed him away, complaining that it tickled.

Maybe if I leave this section of the iris paler…

“What happened to him?”

John’s voice shattered his concentration. The pencil skittered across the paper, and Calvin growled as he snatched up the eraser again.

“Nothing.”

“Really? He looks so sad.”

Calvin paused in mid-swipe. “You think so?”

“Yeah.” Now that he had Calvin’s attention, John brightened and leaned closer. His knee nudged Calvin’s thigh, but there was nowhere to retreat to get away from it. “Look at how you drew his mouth. He’s not smiling.”

Vague disappointment washed through him. He’d hoped for a less sophomoric analysis. “He doesn’t smile very often.”

“So is that just the way he is?”

“No, he just…reserves his smiles for important things, that’s all.” Like when Calvin had said he believed him. Matthew had lit up like a Renaissance angel then.

“He’s gorgeous.” John paused as Calvin erased the rest of the mark his error had left on the pad. “Maybe I’m just looking at you and transferring what it looks like you’re feeling then.”

He glanced up. “You think I look sad?”

“Aren’t you?” But John wasn’t regarding him. His gaze was on the sketch. “I’d probably be sad too, if I was here and he was somewhere else.”

Calvin’s hand trembled where he picked up the pencil again. He hadn’t considered his feelings that bluntly yet, but hearing John’s description made it feel real. It was possible. He could be sad. In mourning. Not just for the relationship that wouldn’t ever get a chance to be, or the man he wished he could have met under other circumstances. For a life that had been stunted unnecessarily. A father who had been too closed-minded to embrace everything his son had become.

“You can talk about him if you want,” John coaxed. “I’m a good listener.”

“There isn’t anything to say.”

“Is he an ex?”

Is he?

“I guess. In a way.”

WalkAmongUs:ACallingofSoulsstory

“Did he leave you?”

Calvin shook his head. “No, I left him.” The words weighed more than he’d anticipated. They made him feel like he was shrinking in on himself, compressed into a miniature when first he’d been a mural.

Warmth settled on his knee. John’s hand. He should push it away.

Then he’d be alone again.

Calvin didn’t touch it.

“It’s better this way,” he continued. “I have a life he’s not a part of.”

“That sounds like you’re trying to convince yourself.” John squeezed his knee gently. “It’s okay to miss him. It’s not like we all don’t have breakups we regret. Just let it out.”

The heat seeping through his jeans crept in icy-hot fingers up to his hip. It wasn’t going to his crotch. In spite of thoughts that picking up a stranger might alleviate some of his blues, his cock remained soft, lust the furthest thing from his mind.

“It really is better,” Calvin asserted. Picking up his glass, he took a long swallow of his beer. It tasted even colder than it had earlier, prickling along his esophagus as it flowed down to settle in his chilled stomach.

“Matthew’s got his own worries. His own needs. I’m just drawing him so I don’t forget.”

John smiled. “A photo was too hard to get?”

“I’m an artist. This is what I do.”

“I was right, then.” At Calvin’s frown, his smile widened. “You
are
the sad one.”

He turned back to his pad, drinking in the lines he’d created with just a few simple strokes of his pencil.

The eyes still weren’t done. He scratched across the left iris, darkening the pupil, trying to block out the ice that continued to spread through his veins. He wasn’t going to believe a stranger’s words. John didn’t know what he was talking about. He missed Matthew, but the depth John credited him was ridiculous.

But then the sketch was done, with a black and white Matthew gazing up at him, and the tremor that had overtaken his hand when he’d seen his mouth returned.

“Maybe you should put that away,” John said gently. “You look like you’re torturing yourself over this guy.”

“I’m not—”

“Why don’t we go somewhere and get something to eat?” John rose from his stool. “My treat.”

Calvin thought of the sandwiches still sitting on his bed. The ones Matthew had made. He didn’t need food, but the thought of going upstairs alone made him nauseous.

“I guess that sounds all right.”

He packed up the pencil and pad, tossing a few dollars onto the counter for the bartender. John stood off to the side, waiting expectantly, but no matter how much he might smile, Calvin could only muster a small fraction of excitement about getting out of the hotel.

“Just something light,” he said as they walked through the lobby. “I’ve got an early flight tomorrow.”

WalkAmongUs:ACallingofSoulsstory

“Something light,” John agreed. The door whispered open, allowing the exhaust and noise and cold night air to blast them in the face. He threw an arm around Calvin’s shoulder. “I’ll take your mind off everything. For a couple hours at least.”

They only took a few steps into the darkness when a steel grip clamped around Calvin’s arm and tore him away from John. He stumbled into something large, something solid, something warm, and whipped his head around to see Matthew glaring past his shoulder.

The surprise died on his tongue. Matthew’s eyes flared with odd golden lights. He thought for a moment that it was a trick of the streetlights, but everything about Matthew seemed to glow.

Wishful thinking colored by delight at seeing him?

“Get away from him,” Matthew growled.

The words weren’t directed at him. He spoke to John. Rather, he
warned
John. Calvin had never seen Matthew look so menacing.

“We were just going out for dinner,” Calvin tried to explain.

Matthew shook his head, but didn’t look away from John. “You’re not going anywhere with him.”

The possessive tone of Matthew’s voice sent an unexpected thrill through him. “Why?” He tried to pull away, to separate in order to better address him, but Matthew’s grip was too strong. “What’s going on?”

“You really shouldn’t manhandle him like that,” John said from behind him. “Let him go.”

“And let you have him? I don’t think so.”

Calvin didn’t want to make a scene just yards from the front of the hotel. “Look,” he said, turning back to address John. “Thanks for the invite, but—”

The rest faded away. His throat choked, and his stomach heaved.

The eyes he met weren’t the friendly blue from inside the bar. These were the blackest obsidian, glittering like polished jewels from between folds of decaying flesh. The lipless mouth curled into a mockery of a smile, baring dozens of barbed teeth like chiseled ice in its maw. It had the shape of a man, but with gnarled claws instead of hands and clubbed stumps instead of feet.

“Are you okay?” The thing spoke with John’s voice. “If he’s hurting you, I can call the police.”

“No,” Calvin croaked. He stared at the creature’s claw. That had been touching him. He hadn’t pushed it away. He’d even agreed to leave the hotel with the man. What the hell had he been thinking? Swallowing, he forced himself to add, “I think you better go.”

The thing that had been John licked its mouth. “He can come along, if you want. He’s even better looking than your picture.”

For the first time, Matthew’s grip loosened, but the last thing Calvin wanted was for him to let him go. He pressed back harder against Matthew’s chest, unable to take his eyes off the demon.

“Picture?” Matthew asked, his tone lower.

“Long story. Get me out of here in one piece and I’ll tell you.”

WalkAmongUs:ACallingofSoulsstory

John took a step closer. Revulsion made the hair stand up on the back of Calvin’s neck.

“I thought we were having a good time, Calvin. Why are you acting like this?”

“Are you kidding me?” He had to stifle his hysterical laugh. “I know what you are. I can see you.”

At his back, Matthew stiffened. His breath warmed Calvin’s ear when he murmured, his voice awed, “You see it?”

“Yeah.”

“How?”

“I don’t know. I don’t care. I just don’t want to be standing here talking to it anymore.”

Strong arms pulled him back, and Matthew stepped between him and John, finally relinquishing his hold as he blocked the path the demon might take. He slipped a hand into his coat and pulled out the same gun Calvin had seen at the graveyard, his body blocking the weapon from view of anyone inside the hotel.

“Walk away now, and I’ll let you live, demon,” Matthew warned.

Its derisive snort drew Calvin closer, peering around Matthew’s shoulder to look at it. His eyes widened when he saw John’s familiar shape again, smiling as if nothing was wrong. Was he going crazy? He knew what he had seen. What had changed?

“He’s only one soul,” John said. “There’s a whole city out there, ready for the eating. You’re not going to try and protect all of them, are you?”

“Not tonight.” Blindly, Matthew reached back to clasp Calvin’s hand. The moment he did, the creature appeared again, leaving Calvin breathless. “Tonight, I just care about protecting this one.”

The demon glanced at John and snarled. Without another word, it pivoted on its heel and disappeared into the night.

Matthew didn’t put the gun away until another minute had passed with them alone. Then he turned, slipping the weapon back inside his coat as he searched Calvin’s face.

Calvin couldn’t speak. Without pause, he grabbed the back of Matthew’s neck and pulled him close for a hard, desperate kiss.

WalkAmongUs:ACallingofSoulsstory

Chapter Six

He couldn’t let Matthew go as he led him back into the hotel. He didn’t care about the eyes that followed them, not even the girl at the checkout desk who’d watched him leave with John and come in minutes later with a different man. He didn’t care about how badly his hands shook as he pushed the button for his floor. He was just glad he could do it at all. It was hard enough to try and look at the other people in the lobby. Every time he glanced at someone, he was half-certain he’d see the face of the demon out on the street looking back at him.

Matthew followed obediently, holding back when Calvin fumbled for his keycard. He swiped it once, then when the red light on the lock continued to flash at him, swore under his breath as he turned it around to swipe it again. Pushing open the door, he dragged Matthew into the welcoming dark and let it float shut behind him.