Waking Up in Vegas (4 page)

Sympathy filled her eyes. She nodded. “How are you holding up?”

No-one but Grandfather had asked him that before now. Back home in Westerwald the only thing everyone had been concerned with was “what now?”

He’d told the old man he wasn’t sure. He still wasn’t. “We were never that close. Rik was always our father’s favourite son, the one most like him.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.” Her gaze sharpened. She wasn’t going to let him get away with the evasion.

“Conflicted. I feel guilty that I didn’t make amends before he died. And of course I’ll miss him. He was a big presence in my life, even if we never saw eye to eye.”

“I sense a ‘but’ in there.”

He sucked in a deep breath. “But now that he’s gone, I feel as if I’m finally free of his expectations. Rik will take over the family business and I’m free to do what I want.”

“How does your brother feel having to take over the business while you get to do whatever you want?”

He shrugged. “Rik has always been big on duty and family too. He’s perfect for the job.”

“And what is it you want to do with all this freedom?”

This was how they’d talked last night. She hadn’t been afraid to ask him the hard questions. The déjà-vu was both surreal and reassuring. The same connection they’d had last night was still there. She understood him. She listened. It hadn’t been a mirage.

“I want to live life on my own terms, doing what I want, going wherever I want, when I want.” He took her hand, entwining his fingers through hers. “And with whomever I want.”

She caught the emphasis on his final word, and bit her lip. But she didn’t pull her hand away.

“And I want to make good wine. There’s a tremendous amount of satisfaction in making something that brings joy to others, even if it is only for a fleeting moment in time. Yesterday you told me that’s exactly how your father felt about being a musician.”

She nodded.

“And you told me you want to live life on your own terms too.” He grinned. “In those exact words.”

“I do.” She blushed as her words echoed between them. She shook her head. “But my terms don’t include marriage and children and mortgages.”

He laughed. “I can promise you won’t ever have to worry about a mortgage with me. And I’m in no hurry for children.”

“Tell me about your brother.” She was changing the subject, putting him off. That was fine by him. They had plenty of time to talk about starting a family of their own.

“Rik and I have always been close, though I guess we’re like dark and light. He’s the serious, thoughtful, dutiful one, and I’m the easy-going, push-the-boundaries one.”

She nodded again, expression thoughtful. “I never had any siblings. I’m always curious how other people manage to share their parents. I’m glad I never had to.”

“We never needed to share either. Rik was always our father’s child, and I was our mother’s. She had a higher tolerance level.”

“Were you that naughty? No, don’t answer that, of course you were.” She laughed, a husky, sensual sound. “But what are you doing here now? Shouldn’t you be with your family?”

He shrugged. “I’m here for the same reason you are. To have a party and celebrate the fact that it feels good to be alive.”

Amusement lit her eyes. “And you thought getting hitched was a great way to celebrate being alive?”

“I didn’t expect to meet my one true love here in Vegas, but now it’s happened, everything’s changed. I’d rather be here with you than anywhere else in the world.”

Her eyes narrowed. “You’re insane, you know that? You don’t surely believe in true love and fairy tales, and all that nonsense?”

“Why not? Don’t you feel this connection between us?”

“What I feel for you isn’t a connection. It’s lust. Pure and simple.”

Pure and simple. Exactly the words he would have chosen for the state of his feelings for this wild, complicated, beautiful woman. But it wasn’t merely lust he was feeling. He was well acquainted with lust, and this was a whole lot more.

But if that was all she would admit to, he could work with that.

The waiter appeared at her elbow, sliding their plates onto the table. When he attempted to refill Phoenix’s wine glass, she put her hand over it. “No more for me.” She sent the waiter a smile that had the poor man near melting.

“Is there anything else I can get you, ma’am?”

“No, thank you.”

Alone again, her smile dropped as she turned back to him. “So did your parents fall in love at first sight and live happily ever after then?”

Max smiled, warmed by the memory of a family story he’d heard over and over. “Pretty much. It started as a business merger of sorts. She was a model, stunningly beautiful, and my father’s…board…decided she would bring a glamour and freshness to the company image. But from the moment they met, that was it. Destiny stepped in. By the time they married, they were very much in love, and haven’t spent a night apart since.”

“This must be a tough time for her then. So you plan to drop in on her while she’s still in mourning and say ‘Hi Mom, this is my wife. I know you haven’t met her yet, but wey-hey it was love at first sight.’?”

“I hadn’t thought that far ahead,” he admitted. “I tend to just go with the flow in life.” He stared at the reflections in the surface of the golden wine. “But I don’t want to keep this from her for too long – we don’t have secrets in our family. But you’re right, now probably wouldn’t be the best time to break the news. We’ll leave my family out of it for a while. But you’ll meet my Grandfather when we go back to Napa.”

“I am not going anywhere with you. Except to find a lawyer to help us do whatever we need to do to erase the past twenty four hours.”

She was certainly tenacious, he’d give her that. But if wine-making had taught him anything, it was patience. “Eat up. We have tickets for the show tonight.”

“What show?”

“Cirque du Soleil, of course.”

Her eyes narrowed. “I couldn’t keep my mouth shut last night, could I?”

“Is it so bad that I know so much about you, your dreams and desires, and want to make them happen? All you have to do is sit back and enjoy the ride.”

She clamped her mouth shut and focused on her food but her demeanour still screamed defiance. Max could hardly blame her. If it was him with no memory of their marriage, he’d probably also balk at the thought of being trapped. No matter how gilded the cage.

Only for him this didn’t feel like being trapped. It felt like coming home. It felt inevitable.

So he humoured her mood. He had no doubt she’d thaw when she had some time to absorb last night’s events or remember them, whichever came first.

By the time their chocolate soufflé and coffees arrived, she’d warmed enough to question him about his studies and about the vineyard. These were easy questions, readily answered without too much thought, and when they were done and he’d paid the bill, she even let him take her hand as they walked out the hotel.

It was rather nice to walk hand in hand with a man who made her heart beat as fast as any adrenaline rush. They circled the vast plaza in front of the Bellagio Hotel and paused to look at the hundreds of fountains dancing in the waning light. A light breeze lifted the spray off the fountains and drifted it across to where they stood. The fine mist brought welcome relief from the heavy evening heat.

The sky overhead was the colour of blood, full of the drama and passion that only the desert could produce, a million specks of dust reflecting the sun’s dying light.

For a mad moment she closed her eyes and wondered what it would be like, to let herself fall dizzyingly in love with someone, to give in to the passion.

She’d believed she was in love with life. But a sneaky feeling had started to creep up on her today, perhaps even since last night, that she hadn’t really been alive until she’d met Max. She’d done crazy things before, tried every adrenaline rush she could find, and loved the thrill of being on the very edge of terror, yet somehow simply being with someone who warmed her from the inside out, was a whole different kind of rush.

It wasn’t as if she hadn’t been in lust before. This was … different.

Max stood behind her, one arm wrapped loosely around her waist, and she couldn’t tear herself out of his embrace. She leaned against the railing, watching the water catch the setting sunlight in a million rainbows. She sighed. It felt too damned nice to be held.

Clearly it had felt pretty nice yesterday too for her to have done the unthinkable and married Max. What had possessed her? If only she could remember…

“What are you thinking?” he whispered in her ear.

“I wish I could bottle and sell moments like these. Soon it’ll be dark, and the magic will be gone.” She shivered. Nothing ever lasted. Nothing stayed the same. Change was the only constant. Relocation, death, amnesia.

The only way to cope when the things you loved were gone was to not let yourself feel. And with Max, she was very much in danger of letting herself feel.

She shook herself. “Let’s get going. I don’t want to miss the show.”

She wasn’t surprised to find their seats were the best in the house. Max did nothing by halves, it seemed. Since her first job in Vegas had been scalping tickets, she had a pretty good idea how much they’d set him back. Most people booked months in advance, and he’d made one phone call and got the very best.

If there was one thing she’d learned about Max today, it was that his wealth hadn’t come as a recent windfall. He had that casual attitude towards money that marked him as born with the proverbial silver spoon in his mouth.

Clearly there was a lot of money in wine. The kind of serious money that could easily buy a ticket to Europe and a couple of months’ worth of beer and pizza.

But at what price to her soul? She couldn’t do that to him. Being shackled in marriage was bad enough. Being used was a step too far. She wouldn’t do that to anyone, and especially not to Max, who had an honourable streak a mile wide, even if he had some very old-fashioned ideas.

After the show, they wandered through the Bellagio’s very own indoor botanical garden, and then sampled cocktails on a poolside deck, in one of those private cabanas that Phoenix had only ever seen in brochures. She stuck to rum-based cocktails. They were way safer than champagne.

Max quizzed her on where she lived and laughed at her behind-the-scenes stories from rock concerts she’d attended. He wasn’t like the famous or rich people she’d met, and she’d met more than a few in the nomadic life she’d shared with her father. Rock stars, record producers, even an A-list actor or two when they’d lived in LA. And she’d been spectacularly unimpressed by them all.

Max was different. He wore his wealth like a comfortable skin. There was no bling about him, just a certain expectation that he would always have the best. She’d love to see him in her drab little apartment in the far from fashionable suburbs. She couldn’t even imagine it.

He carried himself with that air of assurance that he could have anything he wanted. And tonight he made it very clear he wanted her. The fact that for five whole minutes she allowed herself to contemplate giving him exactly that was a measure of how good he was at getting exactly what he wanted.

They strolled down Fremont Street, wandering among the pushing crowds beneath the neon signs, bombarded by voices, the heavy thump of music and the scent of fast foods.

Max held her hand and it felt like a life-line. Since her father’s death she’d felt adrift, rootless but somehow in Max’s company, laughing with him, talking with him, she felt anchored and safe.

It was very tempting to give in. What could it hurt? Just one more night. She’d already done the worst anyone could possibly do on a first date by marrying the man. Surely one night couldn’t do any more damage?

So when they magically found themselves outside the Mandarin Oriental all the reasons she’d kept him at bay through the day seemed very hard to remember.

She pulled her hand out of Max’s and faced him. It was definitely easier to think without his touch accelerating her heartbeat and muddying her thinking.

“I should get home,” she said. It was a half-hearted attempt. She forced herself to sound more certain. “And I need a good night’s sleep before I go to work tomorrow… because I know for a fact Khara didn’t volunteer to take that shift too.” The daytime tips weren’t as good as the night shift, and Khara was working to put herself through college.

Max slid his hands down her arms, from shoulder to elbow, and she shivered in spite of the intense June heat.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay?”

No, she wasn’t sure. She was far more used to giving in to her impulses than denying them. But look at the mess she’d made already - she was married to a man she barely knew. Hell, she was married. That was enough.

“I’m on the day shift tomorrow, so I get off at six. We could meet then if you want. I’ll need to collect my clothes from you, and we should talk about filing papers.”

His eyes narrowed, but his voice stayed level. “As you wish.”

He dropped his hands from her arms, and it was as though a chill breeze suddenly swept between them. He summoned one of the hovering cabs.

“This has been a truly magical day,” she said. “Thank you.”

“It doesn’t have to end, Phoenix.”

“Of course it does. There’s no such thing as magic. Today has been like a dream, but every dream ends when we wake up.”

“I’m not a dream. I’m real, and I’m not going anywhere.”

She shook her head. “You and I don’t live in the same world. We don’t even breathe the same air. You live up there,” she waved at the soaring heights of the luxury hotel towering above them, “and I live in a motel with very thin walls.”

“It doesn’t have to be that way. I want us to try to give this marriage a shot.”

The thought of giving up her motel room for his hotel suite was very tempting. But she shook her head. “I serve drinks to the people in your world for a living, Max. I’m invisible to most of them. You actually saw me, and for that I’m very grateful. But that doesn’t change the fact that I don’t belong in your world.”