Waiting for Wyatt (Red Dirt #1) (48 page)

T
HREE HUNDRED AND TWO DAYS
later, I walked out the door on early release, feeling the sunshine on my skin.

“Good to see you, son.”

I stared at my dad for a moment before giving him a tired smile. “Good to see you too.”

Getting in my father’s truck, we got on the highway for the drive to my parent’s house. He talked while I listened. The man had visited me every week over the course of my incarceration. And now our relationship was different.

I can’t say every grain of it was perfect, but I respected the man. After he had lost his job as police chief, my family moved to Stillwater. The town was a little bigger than Gibbs, and he had gone back to being just a police officer. His loss of command had been another causality of my actions.

No one ever thinks about the aftereffects. When a rock pings a windshield, it doesn’t create a big hole that brings down the glass. It’s the rings radiating out from the initial impact. My actions had cracked across my whole family, especially my father. It had brought us all down, as they were forced to move away while I’d turned my back on them out of shame and grief.

But now it was different. We had repaired some of that damage. My father wasn’t a commanding asshole, and I wasn’t a stupid jackass.

My father parked at their new house. It was my first time to see the place. I gazed at the unfamiliar front porch. While I was away, my family had moved from the only home Willa and I had known as kids. Seeing the smaller house, I felt the damn guilt hit me right in the gut.

“You coming?” his gruff voice asked.

“Yeah.” I took a deep breath, shaking off the past. “Hey, Dad?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you.” The emotions made my throat ache. “For not giving up on me. I’m sorry that it . . . um . . . that I—”

My dad hugged me across the console of his truck, cutting off my words. I truly was sorry that I’d cost him so much of his life and career. He held onto me for a moment.

“I’m sorry about Willa,” I whispered.

He let go, looking me right in the eye as a tear fell down his cheek. “I know.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. This part was the hardest. I had finally said it to him. I had finally addressed the awful cloud that had hung over our entire family. “Why didn’t you hate me?”

“You’re my kid. And I don’t love one of you less than the other. I hate what you did. And I hate that you hurt Willa. But I still love you too. You’re my son. Always will be. And you fight for your kids. Even when they don’t want you to.”

I couldn’t stop the tears from falling down my cheeks. He hugged me again. I was crying damn tears as my dad held onto me.

After a few minutes, he let go. “We better go inside before the girls come out here.”

“Okay.” I wiped my face against my sleeve.

Climbing out of the cab, I surveyed the street. The warm September air made beads of sweat form on my forehead. My mom came out the front door with Willa running at a dead sprint behind her. My sister latched herself around my neck in a death grip.

“Oh my gosh. You’re here. Like,
really
here,” she squealed.

I smiled at her, hugging her back. My mom waited until Willa got through mauling me before getting a turn. She cried. Maybe she thought this day would never happen.

I spent the evening with them. I didn’t talk much and I think it made my family slightly nervous. My mom wanted my return to be perfect while I tried to wrap my head around everything seeming so normal. It was hard when I didn’t feel
normal
on the inside.

My emotions were a little numb after being away for three and a half years. Between my time at the kennel and then prison, I’d forgotten what it felt like to have complete freedom.

After the first week, I contacted Diana for the address of a certain house in Tulsa. Part of me had wanted to run straight to her the moment I was free. But I knew my family deserved some time with the prodigal son. And I enjoyed spending time with my parents and Willa. We played games and had dinner and watched movies late into the night until I fell asleep on the couch.

And then Willa had her first attack while I was at home. I stood there terrified while my mom acted like it was no big deal. I guess her episodes had gradually become part of their normal life. After it was over, I locked myself in the bathroom, crying so hard my chest physically hurt. The past would always be right in front of me. But I knew they had moved on and accepted it. I must too.

I found Willa lying on her bed with Gus. “Hey.”

She opened her eyes. “Hey.”

The fatigue was visible in her smile. The seizures had always worn her out, making Willa sleep for hours after an episode. I lay down beside her on the bed. “You care if I hang out here for a while?”

“I think Emma might care if you stayed with us too long,” she teased.

“I meant in
here
with you, dork.” I let out a deep breath. It was hard to act normal with her, knowing I was the reason she was like this, but I needed to try for her sake.

“As long as I never hear you say I’m sorry again.”

The emotions got tight in my chest. “Okay.”

“And you better go see Emma soon. I don’t want you messing that up. I like her a lot, Wyatt.”

“Well, I love her.”

She laughed faintly. “I know. And that makes me happy because I want you to be happy.”

Those words were hard for me to hear, but I didn’t argue. We stared at the ceiling, not speaking as she rested. Our relationship was so different now than when we had been kids. Adult issues and adult mistakes.

“I’ve been emailing with a doctor in Boston.”

“You have?” I glanced over at Willa, seeing her eyes still closed.

“Yeah. He thinks there’s a good shot at fixing me with surgery.”

Shit!
My stomach tightened at the layered meaning of her words. Part of me wanted to jump up and down. But part of me knew there must be some risk or another doctor would have suggested surgery already.

“I’m gonna do it, Wyatt. I’m not sure when it’s going to happen, but I’ve already made up my mind so don’t try to guilt me into backing out.”

“I won’t.” My throat felt raw as I swallowed back the words I wanted to say. “I will support whatever you decide to do.”

“Thank you.”

I thought about my sister. She was in charge of her own health at this point. Willa had turned nineteen a couple of months ago. And she lived every day in that body. If she wanted to try to fix the damage, I didn’t think any of us should stop her.

My eyes closed as the afternoon sun drifted through the window. And then as I was falling asleep, I heard my sister whisper, “I visit him for you.”

“Who?”

“Trevor. Mom takes me out there sometimes, and I leave flowers. I figured no one else would visit him.”

Her news made me both sad and happy. “Thank you.”

And then I asked the question that had tumbled around in my head for quite some time. “Is that the only reason you visit him?”

She didn’t answer immediately as I searched my memory from the night of the accident. Willa had been sitting in the chair
with
Trevor. She had been sitting in his lap. That part had set me on fire when I’d first seen them on the back porch. But afterward, when I’d had plenty of time to mull over all those thoughts, that scene had never quite made sense. Why was Willa sitting in Trevor’s lap?

“I don’t know what you mean, Wyatt?”

The sadness in her voice stopped me from asking the question again. She had confirmed my suspicions. I had my answer, but not the one I’d really wanted to hear. But I guess that was okay. Neither of us could change the past at this point. We all would have chosen differently that night.
Would have? Could have?
Those did absolutely nothing. It was time to move forward.

“Nothing. Just get some rest. I’ll stay in here with you.”

My sister fell asleep while I stared at the ceiling. I had a lot of questions, but some questions should just stay unanswered.

Letting out a deep breath, some of the weight lifted off my shoulders. I felt calmer than I had in years. Things were better with my family, and I was finally mending some of the broken pieces of my life.

When I finally pulled my bike out of the garage, they each hugged me goodbye. My family understood my need to be somewhere else—
with
someone else. Even though they didn’t say it, I think everyone knew who was responsible for changing me. For pulling me out of the gutter.

As I drove down the highway, I noticed the red and orange leaves changing on the trees. I felt the warm breeze touching my face. I savored every piece of this freedom.

It didn’t take long to find the little house. Knocking several times, I waited nervously on the porch. The sound of dogs echoed from behind the old wood door, but Emma never answered. I finally sat down on the cement, leaning back against the house. It reminded me of all the times I had waited for her to show up at the kennel, except this time I would be surprising Emma. A smile spread across my face. I had made Diana promise not to tell her about my release.

Several hours passed as I waited on the porch. The sun fell slightly in the sky, making an orange glow across the clouds. I felt so damn nervous. I shouldn’t be nervous, but telling myself not to be nervous didn’t make me any less fucking nervous.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her little white car pull into the driveway. I stood up, wiping my palms across the legs of my jeans. Walking to the edge of the porch, I smiled, seeing her struggle with two brown sacks of groceries. Her blonde hair fell in soft curls against her flowery dress. She was just as beautiful as I’d remembered.

“Here, let me help you,” I said, going toward her.

Hearing my voice, Emma looked up as the bags crashed to the ground. Apples rolled across the cement. She didn’t move as her eyes watered up. I closed the gap, pulling her to my chest.

“Is this real?” she whispered against my T-shirt.

“Yes.” My fingers traced lightly over her back as she buried her tears in my chest. “Don’t cry,” I whispered.

“Happy tears.” She sniffed.

“Let me get your stuff, and you can show me the house.” I felt her head nod against my chest, but her arms didn’t let go. “It’s okay. I’m not going anywhere. You can let go for a minute.”

Emma reluctantly released her grip and backed away. I scooped her groceries back into the sack, minus a few apples. “You’re early? Why didn’t you tell me that you were getting out early?”

“I wasn’t sure it was going to happen. And I needed some time with my parents and Willa. And if you knew I was out, then I would just want to rush here.”

“You stayed with them?” Her eyes grew brighter as we walked back to the front door.

“Yeah. It was good.” I smiled.

“Good.” She wiped another tear off her cheek. I held the bags in my arms as she unlocked the door. I don’t know why I’d gotten nervous seeing Emma. It felt the same even though it was almost a year later in a different city. She felt the same and smelled the same. And in just a few minutes, I knew everything was going to be okay.

“The kitchen is to the right.” Charlie lunged at Emma the moment the door opened, followed by Lola.

I went into the house, placing the sacks on the counter. It wasn’t a very big place, but it seemed perfect for her. A square body almost tripped me. Lola went crazy as I petted the old girl. And out of the shadows, Cye made his way cautiously into the kitchen like he wasn’t sure if I was real either. I approached him slowly, running my hands over his battered head.

“I guess you didn’t forget me,” I said as the dog rolled over on the tile. I rubbed his exposed stomach.

Glancing up at Emma, I felt a sudden catch in my chest. She still seemed a little shell-shocked from my sudden reappearance. I felt protective of her. Something I’d struggled with at the kennel. But here, it was different. I could finally take care of her. Be the person Emma deserved to have in her life. I got up from the floor and went over to her. My hands circled her waist, pulling her little body close to me. She felt so real, so warm and full of love as her eyes held on to mine.

I kissed her. And then she melted against me. My tongue touched her mouth. I had spent many lonely nights remembering the taste of her cinnamon lips. But tonight, she felt softer and sweeter than I’d remembered. I couldn’t get enough. My fingers found their way down to her bare thighs. I traced over her soft skin before slipping under the fabric, touching her solid lace panties. My palms cupped each butt cheek as I pushed her tighter into my hips, making everything in me light on fire.