Waiting for Wyatt (Red Dirt #1) (39 page)

I loved him. I wanted him, and he wanted me. Plain and simple. But he wasn’t going to let himself have what he wanted. Not without a push, just like I had to push him with every other issue in his life.

Wrapping the towel tight around my body, I tucked a little piece down between my breasts to keep the brown fabric in place. I took a few steps back from the mirror to get a good look at myself. It wasn’t glamorous, but it should at least get his attention.

As I slowly opened the bathroom door, my heart hammered away at a thousand beats per minute. My silent feet made their way across the carpet until I found Wyatt in the kitchen, drying his chest off with a dish towel since I’d hogged the bathroom. Pausing next to the refrigerator, I watched as he rubbed the rag over his head. He made one more pass down his chest, stopping on the edge of his gray boxer shorts.

Wyatt glanced up, seeing me standing there in just a towel. His hand froze in place as his eyes touched my skin, my breasts, my arms, my legs.

“What are you doing, Emma?” His voice struggled to say the words.

“Well, I figured if I got this far, you would take care of the rest,” I whispered.

Wyatt didn’t move as I closed the last few feet between us. And then slowly, he cupped the side of my face, tracing his thumb against my skin. He stared into my eyes as the past and the present battled around inside his head.

“Emma,” he murmured. “I don’t think we should do this.”

“But I want to. And I know you want to.”

His hands moved down around my waist, holding me gently as his fingers rubbed against the soft fabric of the towel. Wyatt gripped me tighter, pulling me closer to him.

My arms went around his shoulders as his lips brushed across my neck. He held me like that for a moment before whispering, “I don’t even have condoms out here. It’s not like I could tell Diana to add some to the grocery list.”

I steadied my thoughts, knowing this conversation would need to take place at some point. “I take birth control pills.”

“For how long?” His paranoid eyes bore into mine. “Because I can’t get you pregnant. Not now. Not like this.”

I didn’t think it was possible for Wyatt to look any more haunted, but that particular thought had pushed him right over the edge into a different kind of stricken. The rain picked up outside, filling the quiet air of the trailer.

“Since I had the leg surgery. And I knew that I was coming back. So for several months now.”

He didn’t say anything. So I kissed him, gently and slowly until his resolve gradually caved and his tongue slipped between my lips. He held me tight against his chest. The only thing separating us was a small brown towel and a thin pair of gray boxers.

Wyatt let his hands relax as they drifted past the frayed edge of the fabric until he touched my thighs. His fingers slipped under the towel, cupping my bare butt cheeks, making my legs quiver. I dug my toes into the carpet, feeling the warmth spread through my body. He whispered against my lips, “I know you haven’t done this before.”

“No.” I had assumed Wyatt had already figured it out, but I wasn’t embarrassed to admit it out loud to him. Maybe if I hadn’t gone on my detour in life, I would’ve met someone who I’d wanted to share this with. But the truth is—I had never met someone who made me feel the way Wyatt could with a simple glance. Maybe he was my obsession. Maybe I was addicted to helping him and saving him and doing whatever it took to fix him. But I also felt something deep in my heart.

I looked Wyatt in the eyes, trying to calm the storm I saw inside of him. “I love you. I love the part you think is bad and the part I know is good. So just let me love you. Okay?”

He nodded slowly as a hundred different emotions flickered through his eyes as he processed my words. “I would do anything for you, Emma. But that’s not really possible while I’m out here. I can’t give you much of anything. So if you want me to love you, then I’ll love you. At least I can do that.”

Everything inside of me melted and ached with his words. The pull between us got thicker and heavier, and then his lips were on my mouth. His hands were on my skin. Wyatt picked me up from the floor. My legs wrapped around his waist as he carried me the short distance to his bedroom.

Wyatt set me down next to the bed. My toes dug into the carpet as I gazed into his eyes. His lips lingered against mine. Reaching between us, he pulled the little piece of towel that I’d tucked down between my breasts. The brown fabric fell to the floor as the cool air hit my back.

But I didn’t feel it for long. His eyes trailed over my exposed body, followed by his hands as they warmed my skin. The back of my legs touched the side of the bed as we fell against the comforter.

“You feel so good.” I barely heard him over the sound of the storm outside. Our bodies intertwined as we found our way under the covers. I had been in this bed many different times, but never completely naked. It was a little awkward as we got used to each other, and at the same time, incredibly beautiful.

He kissed me as his hands explored my skin. They moved softly, making me squirm against his fingers. I needed more. I craved more as his lips followed the slow path down my body, pressing little kisses against my stomach and thighs. His warm breath brushed my skin as he licked me softly with his tongue. It felt incredible. He felt incredible. I was breathing hard, fighting to keep it together. Closing my eyes, I let him kiss me. I let him kiss me everywhere as I twisted around against the sheets. His mouth moved slowly and sweetly until my body finally gave away, letting me fall into the hazy afterglow.

My eyes caught his, and I knew my cheeks were pink. I was a little embarrassed, but I loved this with him. I loved every moment. Every touch. Lying on my back, I watched as Wyatt tugged the gray boxer shorts off. He flashed a smile, letting me see his dimples. I felt a warm spark of anticipation inside my chest. I had wanted this with him for such a long time. And he was finally letting himself be with me.

A faint clap of thunder echoed outside the window. Wyatt hovered between my legs, putting his weight on his arms and knees. In the shadows, our eyes held onto each other as he slipped gradually inside my body, letting the pain come slowly. And then he stopped as the conflicted thoughts filled his head.

“I’m okay,” I whispered.

“I don’t want to hurt you. I
can’t
hurt you.”

“You’re not.” I bit back the gasp as he moved again. “I’ll be okay.”

I know Wyatt tried to go slow, but the pull between our bodies was greater than us, rolling into a momentum he couldn’t really control. Every push of his hips made me gasp as I drifted somewhere between pleasure and pain. I felt him everywhere, kissing my neck, touching my skin, pressing deeper inside me as he whispered things I couldn’t hear.

I held on to Wyatt, feeling the pain slowly disappear—for both of us. With every breath, I loved him a little bit more as he let go and loved me back.

A few hours later, the trailer was almost completely dark. Nighttime came earlier in November even without the rain. I crawled out of bed, leaving Wyatt asleep under the covers. In the bathroom, I cleaned myself up before putting on the clothes he’d given me earlier.

I smiled at myself in the mirror. I wanted to go back into the bedroom and wrap myself around him, never letting go. But I had a paper to write. One that was due first thing in the morning.

Tiptoeing through the trailer, I made my way into the kitchen. I poured water into the coffee pot and added my favorite hazelnut-flavored dark brew into the filter. Leaning against the counter, I stared into space as the warm steam trickled out of the machine.

A smile slipped on my lips from the residual effects of my runner’s high. I loved running. When my feet hit the ground, I was one with the trees and the grass as the cool air slapped me in the face and I disappeared into the free fall.

But tonight was beyond anything I’d ever experienced. Being with Wyatt was a complete free fall with another person. I had let go and he had let go, and nothing else mattered except the moment in which we had fallen together.

I jumped, feeling his hands around my waist. “You have to stop doing that,” I whispered.

Pulling me back against his chest, Wyatt kissed the side of my forehead. “Haven’t you figured it out by now? I like scaring you.”

“I
know
you do.” I laughed softly.

Wyatt held me in his arms as the coffee dripped down into the silver pot. I sucked in a deep breath, inhaling the scent of hazelnut and the smell of him.

“Are you okay?” he whispered.

“It hurts a little, but I’m okay.” I turned around in his arms, seeing the concern etched in the creases of his eyes. “Don’t worry. You can’t have love without a little pain. Right?”

His lips gently touched mine. “It will be better next time.”

“It was good this time. I promise.”

“I love you,” he whispered. He clutched me in his arms with a tight grip, giving those words the depth of saying them a thousand times. In the shadows, I was his tree limb. I was his rock. I was pulling him slowly to shore as he allowed himself to feel something deep and passionate for another person.

He held me for a little bit longer before letting go. He flashed me a sweet smile complete with his rugged dimples. “I’ll let you get to work. I’ve got a Gator to check on. Maybe if I’m there when he wakes up, it will make it better for him.”

Wyatt grabbed a book off of the shelf and a small umbrella. My heart grew five sizes bigger as I watched him disappear out the door, knowing he was planning to read to the poor, scared dog in the kennel.

I
LEFT WYATT’S AS THE
sun drifted slowly into the sky. My paper had to be submitted before eight in the morning, and I still needed to stop by the computer lab and use their printer. This professor preferred the good old-fashioned printout to mark it full of red lines.

I was exhausted when I pulled into the apartment complex. Last night, it had taken five hours to finish my paper and then at three in the morning, we had sex again. I was sore, but it was already better than the first time. And honestly, I didn’t even care if being with Wyatt still hurt a little. I simply loved the way it felt as we got tangled up together in the darkness.

I got out of the car, seeing Kurt perched on the wooden stairs leading to the second floor. He had a hammer in one hand and a box of nails sitting on the steps. I wonder what lit a fire under our apartment manager to cause him to do work this early considering Lanie, the girl who lived on the other side of Mr. Hughes, had reported the broken banister about three months ago.

I made my way over to the stairs, wishing I didn’t have to pass by Kurt to get to my apartment. He stopped beating the hammer against the wood once he noticed my presence.

“Well, well. Emma’s doing the damn walk of shame. What do they call that? Rode hard and left . . .” His words faded into a grin that held the pictures I knew must be dancing around in his head. I had on my damp yoga pants from last night and Wyatt’s sweatshirt since mine was still wet.

I gave him a tired glare at his disgusting statement. “Move your stuff, Kurt. I seriously doubt you want me falling down the stairs
again
while you are out here.”