Wait Until Twilight (19 page)

T
HE NEXT DAY JIM COMES BY AND PICKS ME UP
from the apartment early in the afternoon. It’s a nice sunny day, so I’m glad to get out. From the campus parking deck he goes to his class and I walk around campus. There’re hordes of students walking about, or sitting or lying around. It seems so leisurely and quiet, nothing like the chaos of high school. And the girls, there’re so many pretty girls. Just being around them puts me in a good mood. So I sit down on the lawn in front of the library like so many of the other students and watch the people go by for most of the afternoon.

When it gets later, I take a stroll to the western edge of campus where there’s a small two-level mall. I go in to have a look around. A bunch of high-school punks with spiked hair and Mohawks wearing tuxedos and dresses are coming down the escalator by the fountain. Behind them come a gaggle of people dressed in strange getups, rang
ing from vampires to robots. The anime heads are apparently everywhere.
Good
, I think,
the more variety the better
. Hell, if I had an outfit of my own I’d join them. After I stuff myself with a couple steak burritos, I walk around until I find the rear exit that goes out into a big parking lot. I don’t feel like backtracking all the way through the mall and through the school so instead walk out to the road. At the first intersection I see that the road I’m on is the road Jim’s apartment is on, Leland Street. With the fuel of the steak burritos in me I figure, I can walk it. Along the way this froggish-looking guy comes along with me. He catches up to me and says, “Did you see that? Those guys dressed up in there?” He’s just a student by the looks of it. He has a backpack and nice clothes on. It’s just that his face looks kind of froglike.

“Yeah,” I say.

“Where you going?” he asks me.

“Home, I just decided to walk.”

“Me, I gotta walk to work after school. Usually I get a ride or catch a bus, but I gotta walk it today. Hey, watch this,” he says, and runs up ahead of me. A black Lexus is pulling out from a side road, and he throws himself against it. It looks real, like maybe it hit him hard, but I can tell it’s just a glancing blow. A girl jumps out of the car screaming.

“Oh my God!” she yells.

“Jesus,” I say. I pull out my cell phone to call Jim.

“Wait! Wait! Who are you calling?” she says.

“My brother, to come pick my ass up! I’m through with walking! I’m tired!”

“Wait, I’ll take you and your friend wherever you want to go!”

“He’s not my friend,” I say.

“Come on,” says the frog-looking student. “Come on. I did all that work.”

“Just up the road, okay?” I say. Froggy fake hobbles into the car and nudges me. “Man, you’re nuts,” I say. The girl drops me off and then says she’d take “my friend” wherever he needs to go. “He’s not my friend,” I say before slamming the door. I carefully ascend the steps up to the apartment. The door’s already open.

“Heeeeyyyy!” says Naomi as she gets up from the sofa and gives me a hug. She smells like alcohol and a very nice-smelling perfume.

“What are you doing here?” I look around for Carl or Jim.

“I was waiting for you. Carl told me you’re visiting Jim. Why didn’t you call me?”

“I…sorry, I don’t even know your number.”

“I didn’t give that to you? Huh. Oh well. Let’s go,” she takes my hand and pulls me out.

“Where’re we going?”

“I’m hungry.”

We walk down the steps. “You remember at the wedding pictures you told me you were the smart one?” she asks.

“Sure.”

“Do you think I’m one of the smart ones?”

“That’s like asking a pretty person if they’re pretty, right?”

She smiles and says, “Maybe.”

“How badly do you want to be smart?” I say kind of suggestively, which surprises me in a good way. She laughs and puts her arm around my shoulder and with her other hand guides my arm around her waist. Even though it’s summer, there’s a chill in the air. I’m wearing my light black hoodie, which I take off. “Take it,” I insist. She’s wearing a sleeveless black thing. “Take it.” And she does. One of those big college buses goes
vroom
ing by.

“Have you ridden one of those?” she asks me.

“Once.”

“Me, too. One time. There’s one that goes to the airport. I took
it when I went down and saw you. Here, you’re driving.” She tosses me the keys to her older-model BMW, and we’re off to downtown. I follow the procedure, cruise around until a spot appears, then slip in like a thief. She smiles admiringly at me. “Now that’s what I like: a guy in control of the situation.” If only she knew how wrong she was.

When we’re getting out of the car, a girl’s voice yells, “Hey, boy! So that’s why you didn’t visit!” It was the pretty girl from the swimming pool walking the other way across the street. “Not bad!” she says.

“Who was that?” asks Naomi.

“She’s a swimmer.”

“A swimmer, huh? Come on, you man about town.”

Naomi takes me to a diner, where I have the meat loaf. She gets one, too. I can’t get myself to tell her I’m full of steak burrito, so I stuff down the meat loaf like a man’s man. It’s torture. I think I’m going to die, but I manage to eat most of it.

“I think I ate too much,” I say.

“I got something for that.”

“What is it?”

“You’ll see.”

She pays for the check and drives us to a Motel 6 close by. She explains Carl’s going to show up at her place at some point tonight and she’s not in the mood for his “idiocy,” as she calls it.

“Is he always like that?”

“No, in fact, he used to never be like that. But he’s different now. Wait here, I’ll get the room.”

I stand outside the car until she comes back and takes me to a room on the third floor. “I’m gonna take a shower. You need to use it?”

“No, go ahead. Hey, about that thing for overeating?”

“After my shower.”

I sit at the edge of the bed and flip through the channels, not really watching.
Good God, what’s she going to do?
I wonder. No. No chance of that happening. She doesn’t hardly even know me. Look at me. Skinny sixteen-year-old kid. But why would she bring me here? No, she just wants to get away from Carl, that’s all. Don’t even think like that. Isn’t that the way sleazeballs think? I mean, consider Carl. He doesn’t—My train of thought is shattered when she comes out in her panties and camisole with a towel wrapped around her wet hair. She walks over to her purse and pulls out a little bag.

“What’s that?” I ask.

“You wanna know why you shouldn’t touch little bags like this?”

“Why?”

“Because that’s where people keep their change…or their weed.”

She comes back to bed holding a marijuana joint, which she lights with a small orange lighter and puffs on with a furrowed brow. I look over on my bed stand, where an ashtray is, and put it on her exposed white thigh. She gives me the joint and then dries her hair some more. I inhale on the moistened paper, and fire and ash shoot down my throat into my lungs. I cough and hand the joint back to Naomi, who tosses the towel onto the floor.

“Are you okay?” she asks, rubbing my back.

I nod my head and say, “Yes,” in between a cough. By the time my coughing dies down she’s already smoked some more and is handing it back to me. I take smaller puffs and I’m okay. The third time it comes around I take too much into my lungs again and cough so hard I think I’ll vomit.

“I’ll get you some water,” she says. I grab her arm and shake my head. I get up out of the bed and walk slowly to the bathroom, though it seems I’m moving very fast. My head is swirling. The mirror’s still steamed up, but I can see my blurry face. My eyes don’t look like my
eyes. They’re red and animal-like. I look like a beast just come out of a primeval forest.

“What’s goin’ on in there?” she asks.

“I’m looking at myself in the mirror, but it doesn’t look like me.”

“Who does it look like?”

“A Neanderthal man…” I say. Then I whisper, “…of the hunter-gatherer persuasion.”

Who is this guy?
I think, looking into the mirror. My hair’s gotten a little longish. Kind of shaggy. I look like a beast. I wipe my wet mouth, then go back into the room, which is thick with marijuana smoke. I bet the inside of my lungs look like that. Naomi’s sitting there with her back against the headrest with her legs sprawled out. She puts out the joint and sits back with a groan. She puts her arms out and says, “Come here, Samuel.”

I crawl into bed, and she takes me into her arms and holds me tight. Holding each other like that, I forget about that beastly face, my stuffed belly, almost like a pregnant woman. She starts kissing me and I kiss back. Her breath smells like wine. She puts her hands into my pants and rubs me. It seems so quiet in the room, as if the entire world had stopped and the only thing that could be heard is our breathing.

“Is this okay?” she asks me.

I say, “Yes.” I’m so scared it’s crazy.

She reaches for her little bag and pulls out a condom.

“I thought that was for change and weed.”

“And condoms.” She smiles. “You want me to?”

“I got it,” I say. I’d never put one on and now regret not practicing, but I know how from a book I read once. It’s different in real life, though, and I’m not sure if I’m not doing it inside out. Naomi takes it and places it on me. Without a word she gets on top of me. I feel like I’m melting into her, disappearing into perfect warmth. Cold doesn’t exist in this place. She starts moving and the fire below becomes a sun,
and then a supernova, and then the big bang, and then I’m done, just like that.

“Sorry,” I say.

“That’s okay,” she lies down on top of me. I can’t believe it just happened. It’s unbelievable. My body tingles and my heart races. I feel stronger. Energized. She moves to the side of me and holds me. I get up to use the bathroom, and when I do I see myself in the mirror again. I do look like a beast, wild hair, naked, just had sex. I can’t help but smile. I can imagine myself with a beard and a mullet…and a blue cap. The thought of it doesn’t scare me at all. I continue smiling all the way back to the bed, where Naomi is dozing. For now it’s good to lie down with Naomi, but I feel like I could run a marathon and then climb a mountain afterward.

NAOMI DROPS ME OFF AT JIM’S
in the morning before going off to her classes. No one’s there, so I lie on the couch watching television most of the morning. My head feels like that swamp back in Sugweepo, all muddy and thick. I doze off a few times, and then in the late morning Carl shows up. He’s in running pants and a sleeveless T-shirt, and there’s a silver chain around his neck. I get up, seeing as how it is his place. The guy stands a foot above me. “Sup, dude,” he says, and sticks out his hand.

I’ve gotten up and say, “What’s up?” Then when he grips my hand, he grips it real hard and looks at my face for a reaction. It’s just like Daryl all over again except his grip isn’t as strong. I’m able to keep a straight face but the diamond ring he’s wearing pinches my skin. He finally lets go.

“So you’re Jim’s brother, huh?” He looks me up and down, and I already don’t like him.

“Yeah, I’m Jim’s brother.”

“Speak up.”

“Yeah, I’m Jim’s brother.”

“Jim says you didn’t come back here last night.” I just glare back at him. “Well?” He sits down on the couch. “What’d you do?”

“I stayed at a friend’s.”

“What friend do you have here?”

“A girl I met at the pool. She’s on the swim team. Her name is Heidi. She’s from Holland. She stays in the Ridgeland Girls’ Dormitory. Satisfied?”

He stares at me for a while and smiles. “You just saved your ass from a world of pain.” He heads out the door, but before leaving he turns and says derisively, “I can’t believe your Jim’s brother.” He’s big and ugly but doesn’t scare me. I don’t like him at all, but he doesn’t scare me.

When Jim gets home, the two of us cook ramen noodles for dinner. I don’t mention Carl. I might hate the guy, but he’s still Jim’s friend, and I didn’t come up and visit Jim after such a long time of distance and silence to mess up his life. Instead, I catch him up on Dad: older and grayer but the same ole dad, Trixi the cat’s comings and goings, some of my adventures at school—what with detention and my video project and the field party debacle. He has some good laughs. It’s more of the old Jim. I just hope he stays this way.

“I wish my life was as exciting as yours. Me, I just work, go to classes, and study. I mean, I go out and drink with my buddies sometimes, but that’s about it. Why, you’ve had more luck with the girls than I’ve had for a while.”

“Normal’s good. I’d take normal any day over craziness.”

“Yeah, maybe you’re right. I have more fun than I let on. It’s just when I’m not having fun, I’m pretty busy. Always busy.”

“Remember what Mom says, appreciate what you have, and you’ll get what you need.”

“Right. Hey, let’s play some PlayStation football.”

“You don’t have work?”

“I’ll do it later, come on.”

THAT NIGHT WHILE I’M SLEEPING
on the couch my dream continues…

…I’M WORKING ON A
very high-tech offshore oil rig out in the Gulf of Mexico. It looks futuristic, all metal and smooth lines. Almost everything’s done by computers and robots. I head a crew of five men who make sure each sector they’re in charge of is running smoothly. Then one day the rig is taken over by an evil force. It’s those two fleshy masks from Carl’s room. They’ve used their evil to control the machines on the oil rig, which go on a rampage to destroy the crew and me. I lead the crew through a secret small corridor in the heart of the oil rig. Then through all these glass doors, the last of which is guarded by these gigantic robotic hands that grab one of my men. I dodge the hands and run up to the surface and into the control room, where those two masks are. This haunting violin music starts when I see them sitting there on the shelf. The masks turn into the faces of Daryl and Carl. They scare me more in my dream than in real life. Then I realize the one on the right has no power. It’s that one on the left. So I grab it with a piece of paper because I don’t want to touch it with my hand, and throw it against the wall. Then I stomp on it. I free my men and we escape on a helicopter that takes us to my house in Sugweepo. In the backyard of my house there’s a much bigger, newly built house with a nice picket fence around it. I suddenly remember I’ve a seed in my pocket, and it’s very important. I announce to the crew and my dad and Jim that I have the seed. They all want me to plant it, but I don’t want to do it in front of them. It embarrasses me,
so I kind of just toss it out onto the ground, feeling it will grow just fine on its own. No one sees it, but it’s glowing white. I see that it’s glowing from the porch light of the new house shining on it. I tell everyone how we have to do this for my mom before entering the new house. And up in the window of the house, above the porch light, I see my mom looking down on me with this big smile on her face, and she’s saying something to me but I can’t hear her. “What? I can’t hear you?” I say.