Vrin: Ten Mortal Gods (26 page)

I admired him momentarily. He was
so
different from his earthly counterpart. There was no obsession for wealth or power, no need to be a captain of industry. His life was his books. It was a much less complicated life. Yes, I liked him. I was proud of him. Through him, I had made better decisions. He was my second chance, and for that I was thankful.

A gentle and loving voice echoed inside me. “
It is time.”
The room warped and shifted as I entered my host. Air rushed into my lungs, and my eyes widened.

That part of me, which was eternal, became still.

So there I sat, wondering how long I had been staring at the same page of my book.

OLD LIVES, OLD FRIENDS

001001011001110

We stared at each other in silence-- and time passed. After all, what could we say? Our relationship had changed irreversibly from the moment I’d uttered the words. Words which now hung in the air like a cloud of strangling gas, threatening to steal away our very breath. I wished now I could take them back.

It was Sajin who spoke first. “So,
you
are Sam' Dejal.” His tone was guarded.

“I-- don’t know. I have his memories-- but does that make me him?”

“Perhaps it is some kind of transference. Does the holy book mention anything about this kind of phenomenon?”

“No.” I looked down at the tiled floor. “Have
you
ever heard of such a thing?”

He glared at me.
“You’re
the sky searcher, Charm! What do you make of it?”

Again we stared, and after a long moment of introspection, I stated, “
I am
Sam' Dejal.”

I yielded to it, and began again, this time lowering my head in respect. “They are not just memories, they are conscious choices which
I myself
made. There was no other consciousness but my own. Therefore, I must conclude, I
am
Sam' Dejal.”

“But you were
here.
How could you be
there
and
here
at the same time? It doesn’t make
sense.”

“My body was here, but my soul was not.”

“That’s not possible.”

“I remember it all, Sajin.” I arose and took a position before him. “I remember you, greeting me in the study, and Dirm attempting to pierce me through with a crossbow bolt. I remember being in the presence of the gods. I remember things I dare not speak of, and I remember the
power
that once coursed through these veins-- so
don’t
look at me as if I’m crazy.”

I forced myself to take a step back. “I can share with you, the expression on your face when I barged into the council chambers, announcing the end of the world.
And
tell you what it was like to lead an army of angels against the forces of Kric’ tu. I am
not
crazy. I
was
Sam' Dejal!”

I had known Sajin my whole life. He was my mentor and my friend. For as long as I could remember, he had always had a talent for speaking, it was one of his greatest strengths, and I had never seen him at a loss for words. Yet there he stood, unable to speak, for the third time.

I turned from him and crouched before the fire. The flames danced and bounced as I searched intently for what I knew was there, or more accurately, what I knew was not. “Sajin,” I said quietly. “Would you come here please.”

“My point is, last week, it didn’t seem strange to me either, but now it does.” I put my hand on his shoulder. “I
am
different, Sajin. I am aware of things I have never been aware of before, and I’m not quite sure how to handle it. Whether I am Sam' Dejal or not is irrelevant-- I am no longer Charm.”

Sajin stood and looked down into the fire. As deep orange light flickered across his stern features, there came a quiet knock at the door.

The doors to the study pushed inward, filling the room with daylight. A soldier stood silhouetted in the entrance. “Master Sajin, Lady Kitaya is here. She wishes an audience with you.”

My mind wrapped around the name, and something deep within me was awakened. Perhaps it was relief at knowing she was okay. Perhaps it was something more. I wanted to go to her, but I held back. Would she know me?

“Tell her I will be there momentarily,” Sajin said absently. He turned and straightened. “This conversation is going to have to wait.”

“I understand.”

For now, I will have your status upgraded. A servant will be appointed to you, and your quarters will be transferred to the west wing of the palace. I hope that will be adequate.”

“That won’t be necessary.”

“I sense in you a new spirit, Charm. You will not be satisfied to contain yourself in the role you once played, so we will have to define a new one for you.”

Sajin gave me an examining stare. It was a stare I knew well, one which he employed frequently with great precision. But this time, there was a hint of defeat in his eyes. “You
have
changed,” he said quietly. He turned toward the door. “You may come, but show me the courtesy of remaining silent.”

We entered the capital's immense indoor garden to see Kitaya standing with her back to us. Her delicate form was shrouded in a mysterious silk dress, which flowed about her in gentle currents. Subtle shades of tan and brown melted into soft shadows of gossamer transparencies. Her braided ponytail swung gracefully behind her. She was studying a brilliant orange tulip in the center of the elaborate garden. The blossom seemed to shimmer as the sun hit it-- but perhaps it was her presence that brought the little flower to life.

“It is good to see you are well, Lady Kitaya,” said Sajin, announcing our presence.

Kitaya turned slowly, revealing her brilliant blue eyes. “It is good to see
you
are well, Sajin.”

“If it is your wish.” He bowed, then hesitated. “Would you do something for
me?”

She smiled. “What would you have me do?”

“Enlighten us as to its origin?”

A slight pout developed on her face. “What do your people find so impressive about that book? It is nothing more than fairy tales about a world which doesn’t exist.”

“Davata Notrals contains the living text. Each time our sky searchers examine it, the text changes. Stories unfold in different ways, and the prophecies about its people change.”

I knew Kitaya was bluffing, and this insight caused an involuntary smile to form on my face. Unfortunately it caught her attention.

“Who is this?” She sounded mildly annoyed.

“This is our sky searcher, Charm.” Sajin kept his posture.

Kitaya moved in my direction, examining me with a cold sapphire gaze. After a few excruciating seconds, she produced a squint, and a half smile. “He has your strength, Sajin. Perhaps you should guard yourself; your career may be at stake.”

“I will keep that in mind.”

“So will you do as I asked?” she said, repositioning herself in front of Sajin.

“I will.” He folded his arms over his chest. “Will you consider
my
request?”

“Yes, but in the mean time, may I at least
see
the text?”

“There is a matter I must attend to. Charm can show you the text.” He looked at me. My head gave a startled snap in his direction. Our eyes met in silent communication. “Is there a problem?” he asked.

“I beg your pardon, sir,” I replied in my most diplomatic voice. “I merely doubt I have the proper credentials to assist Lady Kitaya in a manner befitting her stature.”

“I am sure you will do just fine.” He turned back to Kitaya. “If you need anything else, my lady, I will be in the council chambers.”

“Thank you, Sajin.” Her eyes were still on me. It was clear she didn’t know what to think of me, but I suspected it was a mystery she would enjoy unraveling.

I gave her a discrete bow. “If you will follow me, your holiness.”

As we headed out into the main corridor, people stopped and stared. Kitaya was intriguing to behold, and quite out of place amidst the plain clothed dignitaries. We reached a slate staircase and I looked back at her. “This way, my lady,” I said, gesturing to the stairs.

They spiraled around a massive marble cylinder, which reached from the basement to the peak of the domed ceiling high above. Its thick marble railing was graced with intermittent statues. It had taken seventeen long years to build this staircase, and men had died during its construction-- but all I could think about, was the fact that I had never seen anyone dust it.

She came to a stop and looked up at me. “Did
we
have any luck? How is it you know so much about the affairs of the gods?”

How much could I tell her? I trusted her, but things were different now. Even if I did tell her, would she believe me? Would I have believed myself? It didn't matter. I could not reveal my identity. I shuddered at the thought of what Rath would do to me in my present form. My mind shifted to the unending blackness of the dungeon, and Gaza’s daughter flashed into my perception. Her pleading eyes stabbed at my heart. She was dead now. Kitaya needed to know this. She needed to tell the others-- but there was no way to tell her without revealing my identity.

“Deep in thought?”

My heart skipped a beat. Was she listening to my thoughts? A wave of adrenaline passed over me. “Why do you ask?” I said, forcing a casual tone.

Did
she know? No. If she knew, she would not be reacting so calmly. “I was-thinking about Davata Notrals, considering the Book of Barithimus. Do you think the Hestimites will be able to do what they did in the Book of Hagus. On the last recorded change to the text, it was clear they could not. What are your thoughts?”

“It is a secret,” she said, looking away.

“Then I suppose I shall wait to see. Forgive me for asking,” I said in silent relief.

We reached the last bend and climbed up to the final plateau. Kitaya turned and looked down over the thick railing. I stepped up beside her. The architecture was breathtaking. All the way down, beams of sunlight filtered in through thin ornate windows, filling the interior with a peaceful yellow glow. The inside of the tremendous dome surrounding us appeared as a giant honeycomb of marble and granite. Some of the openings were offices, others were meeting rooms, and in each hole there was activity.

Straight before us, cutting through the side of the dome, a circular window lent a view of the Tower of Pisa, which stood on the other side of the river amongst the ruins of old. Funny though, it seemed odd to me now-- as though it should have a lean to it.

She looked up and gave a smile. Her brilliant blue eyes scanning my face, and I felt a soft brush of energy wash over me. “Have we met before?” She sounded genuinely intrigued.

“I would have remembered such a meeting, and cherished the memory of it,” I replied.

Her smile widened. “So that is why they call you Charm.” She winked. Then reaching down and lifted the flowing fabric of her garment, she gracefully turned toward the door. “Is this our destination?”