Vows of a Vampire (5 page)

If she’d hurt him, she couldn’t tell. His gaze had turned downward. “I understand why you feel that way, and I won’t try to make you see things differently. You lost your mother and have a right to all the anger and hatred you hold.”

Backtracking, she tried a different approach. “You say this Dante was a mentor?”

She watched his gaze drift in remembrance. “Yes. A mentor. A father. My friend. He helped raise me when my real father abandoned the coven. Dante said I would one day take over the coven in his place and prepped me. I never wanted it. At the same time he prepared me to look after you. Even in death he refused to let your mother down. I promised him I would keep watch. I’ve never stopped.”

Aubrey heard his words, but she had difficulty digesting them. Age and maturity hadn’t helped her mentally prepare for hearing the truth about her mother. If anything it made her wish she’d been brave enough to do something that night.

Grief-stricken, she shook her head and stood. Right now she needed to be alone. She knew what it was to be alone. It was safe. If she stayed here, she might do something she’d regret.

“I’m sorry. I want to go home. You said I could leave whenever I wanted.”

A look of anguish streaked his handsome face. “Now?”

Her heart said yes, but her body created conflict. If this is what he did to her, she couldn’t be around him. She felt exposed, irrational, and dangerously close to giving herself to him. How could she even think about sex with a—a vampire? Look where it had gotten her mother.

Aubrey’s voice shook as she tried to sound confident in her decision. “Yes. Take me home. As of tonight I want you to leave me alone. I don’t want you in my thoughts, or in my dreams. I want to be my own person, and I can’t if I know someone is watching my every move.”

Several minutes of silence passed, and she didn’t know what else to say.

Finally he spoke in his deep, rich tone. “You don’t understand.”

Why did she feel like an invisible string holding them together had suddenly broken apart? They weren’t bound. Despite what he’d shared with her or the familiarity of his touch and face from her dreams, she didn’t know him.

Aubrey averted her gaze from his tortured stare. “Yes, I do understand. The promise you made, you’ve more than fulfilled it. You don’t have to concern yourself with my life or my choices, poor as they usually are. It isn’t that I don’t appreciate what you’ve tried to do, but I’m an adult. I’m not the little girl who had her mother ripped from her. I can take care of myself.”

“Please, I—”

Hand up, she put considerable distance between them. “Thank you for being the first person to tell me the truth. I will always be grateful. From here on out, we go our separate ways.”

He took a step toward her. “You don’t know what you’re asking of me.”

Aubrey almost wished her car had gone over the cliff after all. With a sigh she went to the doorway and spoke to him over her shoulder. “No more. Now, take me home.”

Chapter Four

Varick paced in the corridor. It pained him to leave Aubrey after everything she’d been through. A near fatal accident, betrayal by a lover, learning the truth of her mother and meeting a man who practically admitted he was a stalker. For years he’d practiced how their initial meeting would go, and none of it had gone according to plan. He’d blown it by revealing too much at once. While not a child, she was still fragile.

He smoothed his hand over his face. He’d almost opened up about his feelings. Almost spoken of his love for her. What had he expected would happen? That she’d spread her arms and welcome him without hesitation? Look into his eyes and fall madly in love with a stranger, a monster in her eyes? His life had been full all these years only because it held purpose—guarding her life. Her request to part ways didn’t sit well. Without her to look after, he lacked…meaning.

Varick stepped into the Grieving Hall and knelt beside Dante’s tomb, his head bowed in shame. “I’ve failed you, and by doing so, I’ve failed Laura, Aubrey, this coven, and myself. I’m sorry.”

Everything he touched turned to failure. No one wanted him as leader, they’d rather serve under Luke. Much as he disliked his coven brother, Luke had come before him and had expected to be the next in line. It seemed a day didn’t go by where he wasn’t reminded of that fact. He missed Dante’s guidance. His great mentor had a flawless way of putting their family’s best interests first while keeping balance. Varick knew he would never be as wise and experienced. What good was being leader if he lacked the ability to lead? Try as he might, thoughts of righting the coven were overshadowed by his emotions for Aubrey. More than his craving to kiss her lips and taste the apex between her thighs, he needed to be sure she stayed out of harm’s way.

Varick rose and paced the room. He forced himself to not use his mind’s eye to see into her thoughts. The night would torture him, not having the beauty of her dreams to slip into. In the dreams they were lovers. In the dreams she welcomed him and wanted him. But not now. Now that she knew what he really was.

How could he separate himself from her after all this time? How could he pretend not to care? He stalked up and down the floor, cursing his own stupidity. At one time he had the strength of ten men. Dante’s death sapped him of everything. His courage, his confidence, and his honour. What good was he to anyone?

Frustrated, Varick left the Grievance Hall and descended the marble staircase to the lower level. Blake, one of his coven brothers, sat in the commons room, a thick book sprawled open in his lap.

With a glance upwards, he nodded. “Ah, my brother, you look troubled.”

Of all his coven brothers, Varick trusted Blake the most. “I’m afraid my mind is reeling tonight.”

The silver-haired vampire closed his book and smiled. “I’d be happy to listen if it will help.”

Varick sat across from him, his leg propped on his opposite knee.

“It’s Aubrey.”

“Ah yes, females—they’re the devil.”

He winced. While loyal to his coven, he couldn’t bear to have anyone speak unkindly about Aubrey. “Not so. Not her. She’s different.”

Blake cast him a comical look and laughed. “Brother, I only meant it in jest. I’m referring to all females and the hold they have over us, whether we like it or not.”

Varick feigned amusement, not wanting to alienate the one person he could confide in right then. “I apologise. Touchy subject, I guess.”

“I’d say so. Didn’t you learn anything from Dante about loving a mortal?”

He’d learned how empty one could be without love. “Believe me, I’ve tried to convince myself she means nothing to me, but so far it hasn’t worked. In fact, I believe I made things worse.”

Blake groaned. “What did you do?”

His muscles tensed as he replayed the scene he’d come upon just seconds before he’d almost lost her. “I saved her life tonight. The car she drove nearly went over a cliff. She would have died had I not intervened.”

He didn’t dare meet his brother’s gaze.

“Sounds like you were a hero.”

Varick studied him, surprised by his nonchalance. “I suppose it could be looked at that way, but...”

“Yes,” Blake prompted.

“While I’ve done my best to watch over her from a distance, tonight I made the choice to let her know I existed. We…spoke. I told her of the vow I made.”

Blake shot forward, brows arched, lips curled in disgust. “You met in person? Are you mad? Please tell me you are joking.”

Briefly, Varick worried he’d made the wrong choice in speaking of her. “You don’t understand. She almost died. Her frame of mind frightened me. I did a quick mind sweep and her actions were erratic. She didn’t think there was anything left to live for. I couldn’t in good conscience allow her to go through with killing herself.”

Blake put a hand up and shook his head. “While it’s admirable that you saved her, she’s a mortal. Her chosen path isn’t for you to decide.”

The path he wanted for her included them together. Forcing himself to stay calm, he took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. “I promised to make sure no harm came to her. In any form. Including if she took her own life.”

He watched his coven brother stand and move around behind the couch, the vein in his forehead throbbing.

“You can’t make your existence be about this vow to Dante. You’ve let it—her—control you for far too long. And—”

Varick didn’t even let him finish. “If you witnessed in your mind that someone you cared for would die, and you held the power to save them, wouldn’t you?”

Blake sat back down across from him. The silence alone nearly drove him mad.

“Yes, I suppose I would. Let’s move past the whole rescue mission and get to the heart of the matter. Why, after you saved her, didn’t you leave her alone?”

He dropped his shoulders. “Being in her presence, I couldn’t turn away. I had to talk with her, touch her.”

Blake sighed and leaned back against the couch, his fingers steepled. “How did it feel?”

Nothing brought him greater pleasure than speaking about the woman he loved. “She nearly brought me to my knees with her beauty and innocence. I thought I’d explode. It was everything Dante said when he first caught a glimpse of Laura. How the rest of the world faded and we were all that existed.”

His brother nodded. “Part of me envies you, but I don’t know. The other part of me says you were stupid. Especially in telling her about you. You said she’s in a fragile state of mind. How does revealing you’re a vampire help matters?”

Hearing it from someone else only made him feel worse. Around her he hadn’t thought at all. “Trust me, I know it was stupid. But when I saw her, the way she looked sprawled on the lounge, her body glowing from the candlelight. Eyes glazed and dreamy. I felt completely powerless.”

Blake snorted. “Well, that’s because you started thinking with your dick.”

He couldn’t help but laugh. “Guilty. When I entered the room, she practically undressed me with her eyes. For a moment she was ready to give herself to me, I sensed it.”

His brother’s lips pursed together. “Which room are you speaking about?”

He hesitated but it was too late for lies. “To the West Chamber. No one has been in that part of the house for over a decade.”

Eyes dark, Blake spoke with an edge to his voice. “You brought a mortal here under our roof? Are you fucking kidding me?”

Varick could taste the tension in the air. “I had nowhere else to take her.”

He half expected Blake to lunge forward and throttle him. “How about back to her home? Dammit, brother. What were you thinking?”

Sweat beaded along his forehead. In hindsight he’d made a terrible mistake. “I needed to make sure she’d be okay. Make sure she didn’t try to take her life a second time.”

Curiosity shone on his brother’s face. “Is she that messed up?”

Varick rubbed his forehead. “She’s lived a harsh life. Nothing’s come to her easily. I told you, she was in a fragile state of mind.”

Blake stared hard at him. “Had anyone smelt her innocent blood, she could have been killed or turned. Are you willing to risk her life so blindly?”

Shivers ran up his back at the thought of one of his brothers feeding on her. “It has been decades since we’ve fed on humans. With our blood supply well stocked, mortals aren’t at risk anymore.”

Back on his feet, Blake paced the room in a frenzy. “You idiot. Do you honestly believe Luke and his loyal followers nourish themselves with our blood supply? Have you completely ignored the rise in missing women in the remote cities?”

A sick feeling churned in his stomach. He and Luke had never seen eye-to-eye. Especially when Dante had taken Luke in under his wings first. Too young to notice at the time, Varick had made an enemy for life. “Luke? I know he has issues with my being made leader, among other things, but he wouldn’t go against the rules Dante set forth. He loved him as much as I did.”

Blake charged toward him and stopped an inch from his face. “Wake the hell up. Dante is dead. He’s been dead. No one cares what the rules are. Sure, they did once. Everyone looked to you to enforce the rules, but you didn’t deliver. This coven runs on each individual’s own set of rules. Some of us, like Luke, lack morals. And some of us allow the wrong emotions to guide us.”

Varick swallowed hard. He more than got the dig. “I-I didn’t think. The West Chamber has always been a safe haven to me, and I thought it would be for her, as well.”

A disgusted grunt erupted from his brother’s throat as he turned away. “Look, what’s done is done. All you can do is look ahead. It’s your preoccupation with this mortal that makes you unfavourable here. It’s a big reason why your brothers don’t trust you.”

Varick’s irritation surfaced. “I’ve done nothing to warrant being untrustworthy. What I don’t understand is that no one cared when Dante romanced a mortal. We all knew his level of love and devotion to Laura. Why am I being treated differently?”

A look of pity streaked across Blake’s face, angering him more. “Because he never brought her here. Not once. He also never shirked his responsibilities to the coven. He didn’t choose one over the other, he valued both. Never did he hole himself up somewhere and ignore things that needed to be done, even in mourning over Laura.”