Authors: Angela Johnson
Kat watched Alex advance on her before his words died, his stride long-legged and lazy. Her heart beat faster with fear, even as a primitive thrill raced up her spine. Goosebumps pebbled her skin and her nipples swelled to hard stabbing points.
Bewildered at her reaction, she said the first thing that came to mind to stop his predatory pursuit. “You say you want me,
now
. But we both know you do not love me. You lost your heart long ago to Lady Lydia,” she bit out, unable to hide her bitterness.
Alex stopped in his tracks, just inches in front of her. “As you said, that was long ago. In prison, I learned to survive day by day, and the only thing that kept me alive were thoughts of escape, of returning to the bride I left behind.”
She smelled the scent of hay and horseflesh that lingered on his skin. “Are you saying that you do not love Lady Lydia anymore?”
“What I am saying is that I’m past regrets. I no longer look back, but forward. And what I see, what I long for, is a life with you.”
They were the words she had yearned to hear for so long, but they were too late. As a young girl she had admired Alex above all others; he was so handsome and gallant, kind and honorable. When she began to have the yearnings of a woman grown, her affection for him altered to desire and eventually love. But he rejected her heartfelt offering in the cruelest of ways. She had no desire to fall under his spell again.
Kat stepped away, backing towards the exit. “Mayhap, but without love, you will come to resent me some day. Your yearning will eventually turn to hatred because honor bade you marry me instead of your precious Lady Lydia.”
Alex followed in pursuit, his eyes narrowed. “We may not love one another in the romantic sense, but there are many kinds of love. With time, I believe such deep love will come. Until then, we have something equally powerful between us.” He reached out and captured her hand, halting her progress. “Nay, do not deny it, your body tells me otherwise.”
The dark blue depths of his gaze roved slowly lower to stare at her breasts. The barrier of her clothing could not hide her desire. Two hard points prodded her bodice. His gaze grew hot, sultry. Kat flushed all over. Her heart pounded harder.
He brought his free hand up and skimmed his knuckles down her cheek and along her throat. With every breath she took, her turgid flesh rubbed against her silk chemise, aggravating her further.
“The harder you try to resist the undeniable attraction between us, the stronger it will become.”
She swallowed, her blood pounding thickly. Her arousal proved his words had merit. Could this attraction between them lead to something more, something lasting? Dare she hope it could lead to love some day?
When she realized she was considering opening her heart to love once more, anger surged up inside her. Her temples pounded. She would not be swayed by carnal longings. She tugged her hand free and stepped away from him.
“You speak of lust,” she spat, her voice rife with scorn, “but a marriage cannot subsist on that alone. Without love, in time this attraction you speak of will smother and die, and eventually be replaced by resentment and hatred.”
He shook his head and captured her gaze. “Nay, I could never hate you, Kat.” The glow in his midnight depths was both tender and smoldering.
She crossed her arms and stared at him with disdain. “You believe that now. But don’t think I missed how adroitly you avoided the issue of Lady Lydia. You say she is in your past, but she married an old man. Some day she will be free again and you will be tied to a wife you never wanted in the first place. How will you feel then?”
“No one can predict the future, Kat. What is important is how I feel about you. And I do want you. ’Twas not Lydia I thought of for four agonizing years while I was imprisoned.”
Kat did not believe him. “That may be so. But I don’t doubt you will soon tire of me and seek out other women. If not Lydia, another woman will come along to tempt you into her bed. I refuse to live like that, always wondering who will be the one,” her voice cracked.
Alex pressed his fingers to Kat’s mouth and stilled her words, her lips cool and silky soft. “Kat, we have a bargain, remember?” Unable to resist, he leaned closer and breathed in her flowery, exotic scent. “Come the feast of St. Barnabas, you can make your decision then whether you wish to reconcile or not. Until that time, I want to say this only once. Lady Lydia was a lifetime ago. Frankly, I am no longer that naïve young man who fell in love with her.”
Her lips trembled, stealing his breath away, so that his next words came out in a husky whisper. “I want you to understand, though, that my feelings for you are very complicated. All I know is that I have
never
felt this way about a woman before. Not even Lady Lydia.”
Her large, almond-shaped eyes grew wide.
He clutched her face between his hands and held her so she could not look away. His adamant gaze bore into hers. “I know you do not believe me now. But I am a very determined man. My actions shall give truth to my words in the days to come, and I will prove to you that I shall be a faithful and devoted husband.”
She blinked as though awakening from a drugged sleep. Tugging his hands from her face with force, she cried out, nearly hysterical, “Must you torment me with the impossible?” Her chest rose with each panting breath. “I have told you no amount of determination on your part is going to change the way I feel about you, Alex. I gave you my heart once and you crushed it.” Punctuating her claim, she clenched her hand and pressed it against her heart. “I will never give you a chance to do so again.”
A deep growl rumbled in the back of his throat, and he grabbed her around her waist. “Then you wish to renege on your vow?”
“Nay!” she said, her eyes widening, perhaps sensing the danger she was in. “We have a bargain and I intend to abide by it. But you are wasting your time. Naught you say or do is going to change my mind.”
Instead of deterring him, her words did the opposite. “I beg to disagree. Despite what you say, you are not immune to me. And I intend to prove it.”
Alex crushed Kat against his body. He dipped his head down and captured her mouth, cutting off her startled gasp.
Alex kissed Kat, the intoxicating scents of the garden mingling with her exotic essence. His mouth moved over hers commandingly, demanding a response. Plump and soft as velvet, her lips seared him. Her heart beat wildly against his chest, the pounding rhythm seeping under his skin like a fever.
Kat, perhaps stunned, did not react at first. But now she began to squirm, trying to escape his embrace. She merely succeeded in enflaming him more. The fever spread rapidly. He grew turgid with a hot, hard ache that needed appeasement. Like a starving animal long deprived of food that is thrown a meaty carcass.
So when she stilled, then arched her lower body away from his, he lifted her against him and took the two steps to the bench. She cried out, but Alex covered her mouth with his. Using his greater strength, he laid her down on the bench without breaking bodily contact.
He nudged her feet apart and lowered his body onto hers. Then Alex moved his hips in a slow circle, grinding his heated shaft against her soft mound. He groaned at the exquisite friction. A soft moan escaped Kat. Exultation made him less cautious and he could not hide his triumph.
“See. You cannot deny you need this, Kat.”
It was a stupid blunder.
Breath panting, her eyes blazed. “You arrogant slug. You have not heard a word I said. I will not let you seduce me.”
The heel of her hand came up and she shoved hard against his chest, but he was stronger. Her hand slipped off him and he clutched her tighter, continuing his onslaught. Relentless, he slanted his mouth over hers, coaxing her lips apart, while her fists pounded against him, glancing off his back. She fought him for what seemed forever, and then her hands clutched his waist.
She trembled in his arms. Her lips grew pliant. Exhilaration pumped through Alex at the signs of her surrender. He thrust his tongue inside her slack mouth. Her tongue met his, a wild clash of flesh that sent a shudder down his spine.
Moaning, Kat reached up and dug her fingers into his back. She pulled him closer as though she wished to absorb him into her skin. Dueling, thrusting, stroking, their tongues waged battle.
Alex’s heart contracted, such strong emotion pumped through him he thought his heart might burst. For the first time since his imprisonment, he felt something other than hate and anger. Kat must have feelings for him too, though locked far away where he could not reach them. Yet. But he had never backed down from a challenge, and he did not intend to start now.
From the first hot penetration of Alex’s tongue, Kat knew she was lost. Their mingled breaths were harsh in the hushed silence. The cold bench beneath her might as well be eiderdown, for she felt it not. She swirled her tongue around his, and his shaft blazed a path of fire, igniting an inferno inside her. Hot and moist, her nether lips throbbed. The better part of her concentration resided there, until the cool night air wafted across her chest.
She looked down, her eyes widening with surprise. Unbeknownst to her, Alex had unclasped her brooch and spread the front of her tunic open. She watched as his hand eased one breast free through the slit down her bodice. Alex drew back a little, one arm braced on the seat. He stared down at her bared breast, his gaze rapt. Her nipples puckered, from cold and excitement. The moment suddenly too tense, she brought her arm up to cover her nakedness.
He eased her hand away and bent back over her. “Nay. Do not hide from me, Kat. You are beautiful, beyond beautiful to me.” His breath made puffs of air, tickling her flesh where his mouth hovered above her chest. At his soft words, she melted, unable to resist his bold advances.
Slowly, his lips brushed the underside of her breast. A shock of pleasure rippled over her and she gasped. Next his lips skimmed up the plump curve, a slow, teasing caress. She thrust her hips up, writhing against his hard member.
Alex lifted his head, his hot gaze remorseless. “You have no idea how I longed for you. I shall not wait another moment to taste you.”
His calloused hand cupped her swollen breast, squeezing her with exquisite pressure, before his lips at last closed around her nipple. Kat moaned. His hot mouth sucked the puckered flesh deep inside. His tongue lapped at the hard point. Excitement shot from her breast straight to her feminine mound like the vibration of a plucked lute string, and she cried out.
Alex looked up, a glint of satisfaction in his eyes.
She wanted him closer. Wanted it hotter, harder. Years deprived of the hot, heady exultation of carnal release made her ravenous. Removing her hands from his back, she clutched his long black hair and tugged his head back to her nipple. He obliged, curling his tongue around it, nipping with his teeth, then sucking once more.
Her hips rose in wild abandon and soft moans expelled from her lungs. She could not look away as he shoved her tunic skirts up to her waist, velvet and silk rustling like a sibilant hiss. A warning she ignored. Air rushed over her sensitized skin. Her legs quivered.
She watched, impatient, shivering with desire while Alex fumbled with the laces at the waist of his braies. Finally, his shaft sprang free, pale and enormous in the moon’s glow. Then he covered her, his body blocking the moon and creating shadow where once was light. Her chest thumped, the wind sighed. Hot, hard flesh nudged her entrance.
“Kat. Oh, God. I swear you will not regret this,” he said, his breath tickling her ear.
Regret what?
she wondered. Surely he did not think her surrender meant she was ready to reconcile? Then she heard a sound—a soft giggle, followed by a masculine growl.
“Oh, God. Get off me, Alex. Someone is coming.” In a panic, she shoved Alex’s chest, but he appeared oblivious. “Did you hear me? Alex? Get up,” she hissed louder, “someone is coming.”
She watched his eyes widen. He jumped up, swearing, and tugged her up by her arm. Her skirts slithered down her legs, but her bodice still gaped open. Frantically, while he tied his braies, she tried to cover herself, cognizant of a moist, sticky trail of desire running down her inner leg.
“Oh, Rand,” a woman said in a breathless sigh. “Come along, you stallion. You know how hot I get when you tup me where anyone can stumble upon us. And I have found just the place.”
Kat swallowed her gasp when a red-haired woman, her back to them, tugged Rand into the secluded courtyard.
“Elena, I am not sure this is wise, but I am
so damn hard
—”
Rand looked up just then, his jaw dropping. Alex stepped in front of Kat to shield her. She pressed her heated face against his back, shrinking as small as possible.
Alex cleared his throat, tickling her cheek. “I’m afraid you shall have to find some other place, my friend. The garden is already occupied. And I wish to be alone.”
Her eyes tightly closed, Kat heard Elena whirl around, her laugh tinkling with joy. “Why, Sir Alex. What a pleasure this is. You must—”
“Come, Elena,” Rand interrupted. “Let us leave. Obviously Alex prefers his privacy.”
“But…”
Listening to the sound of their receding footsteps on the gravel pathway, Kat did not hear Elena’s rejoinder.
Finally, Kat peeked around Alex, and saw Rand, his arm around Lady Elena, guiding her out of the hedge opening of the adjoining courtyard.
Kat straightened and ran her hands down her skirts, mortified and unable to look at Alex when he turned around and faced her.
“Kat—”
She held up her hand. “Don’t say a word. This was a mistake and shall not happen again. Where’s my brooch?”
“Nay, tonight was not a mistake.” He picked up her brooch from the ground and handed it to her. “The desire that blazes between us is honest and real and undeniable. If time or distance could not destroy it, do you really think you can continue to deny me forever?”
“You betrayed me, Alex. And I shall never forget that. So, aye, I can and will continue to deny you.” She quickly pinned her brooch to her bodice.
He held his arm out. “Come, I will escort you to our chamber.”
Her jaw dropped. “What? No more arguments? No more disavowals?”
He shrugged. “Naught more may be gained by arguing this night. You have promised to give me a month to persuade you, and I shall have to be content with that, for now.”
Indeed, nothing and no one was going to stand in his way of achieving his ultimate dream.
But it’s going to be damned hard
, he thought,
literally
. He pressed his hand against his member, seeking to calm the rigid flesh.
Several days later, wearing only his braies and hose, Alex practiced swordplay with Rand in the field south of the Almonry. His muscles strained with every sword blow. The sun beat down on his back and sweat ran in dirty runnels down his chest.
Though Alex no longer felt his sword arm, sheer stubbornness kept him from giving up. He continued to ward off Rand’s blows with his shield and to counterstrike with blunted sword. Then Rand countered with several quick strikes. All Alex could do was evade or deflect the blows. In a moment of inattentiveness, his shield dropped. Rand took advantage and struck down at Alex’s unprotected shoulder. In desperation, Alex blocked the strike with the flat of his sword. Sparks flew as their swords slid to the hilt. Rand gave a quick flick of his wrist, catching the cross guard of his sword against Alex’s weapon. Pain shot up Alex’s arm and his sword spun out of his numb hand.
Out of breath, Alex leaned over and rested his hands on his knees, berating himself for committing such a stupid tactical error. Alex spit on the ground, removing the bitter taste of defeat from his mouth.
Rand retrieved Alex’s sword and tossed it to him. “Well done, Alex,” he said, clapping him good-naturedly on the back. Alex winced. “You have improved considerably in the last few days. It shall not be long before you are up to your old skill again.”
Alex shook his head, disgusted.
“Come, let’s have a go again,” Rand said.
Alex’s squire, Jon, who had arrived at court two days ago, rushed up to them with towels and a bucket of water. He set the bucket aside and handed them each a towel.
Setting his shield and sword aside, Alex wiped the sweat and grime from his face. “Not today. I have other plans.” He smiled in anticipation.
“I’m intrigued. What plans have you that could put such a ridiculous smile on your face?” Rand asked, a blond eyebrow quirked.
“Kat and I are going riding.”
The squire raised the water bucket. Using the dipper Alex took a long drink and then passed it to Rand. “You may go, Jon, and leave the bucket over by the bench there.” After he did this, Jon collected their shields and practice swords and headed back to the armory.
Unwilling to be late for his rendezvous with Kat, Alex walked back to the bench where he had removed his garments, sword and scabbard earlier. Then he poured the bucket of water over his head and chest. He retrieved another towel and rubbed himself down, wiping off the sweat and dirt.
Rand followed him and rinsed his face off, before he sat on the bench. “Speaking of which, how are things progressing in your campaign to win Kat back?”
Alex shrugged, reluctant to discuss it even with his closest friend. Then he tugged on his sherte and dark blue wool tunic, before buckling his sword belt around his waist.
Undeterred, Rand said, “I admit, I’m curious to know how you convinced my wily cousin to go out riding alone with you?”
Alex smiled, the first genuine smile since his return. “Some secrets must remain between a man and his wife. Suffice it to say, Kat and I have an understanding. ’Tis all you need know.”
Rand nodded and stood up. They walked off the practice field together, skirting the open space used for tilting. At that moment a young squire rode full tilt towards the quintain. The end of his lance hit the target off center, then the quintain swung around and hit him in the back. He fell ignobly. The squire got up slowly, spitting dirt and blood from his mouth. His friends watching from the sidelines roared with laughter.
Alex smiled in remembrance. “Were we really ever that young and exuberant?”
They reached the grassy verge along the south transept of Westminster Abbey, stopping in the shadows of its soaring walls.
“Aye,” Rand replied quietly. “We could not wait for the day when we would finally earn our spurs. We wanted to go out and fight for justice in the name of God, king and England.”
“And for glory,” Alex said bitterly. Too late he had learned that glory was a lonely bedfellow. Not to mention extremely fickle.
Just then footsteps approached and a man came around the corner of the transept wall. Of all people, it was Sir Luc de Joinville, head bent and step jaunty. The sun shone down on the top of his golden hair, illuminating the color of bronze.
Alex met Rand’s gaze and read the same grim expression he knew was revealed in his own. Taking the initiative, Alex stepped out from the shadowed wall. “Good morrow, Sir Luc.” Rand stepped up beside him.
Sir Luc looked up, startled. “Jesu, where did you sprout from?”
Alex gestured back to the open field. “Rand and I were just finished.”
“Ahh…I am just heading there myself.” He paused as though he wanted to say more.
“We shall not keep you, then.” Alex nodded.
Luc bowed and carried on towards the practice field.
Alex watched him go, the usual ambivalent feelings towards the man swirling in his breast. Alex was grateful to Luc for saving his life in the Holy Land, even as jealousy consumed him.
Surely Kat does not truly love Sir Luc,
Alex thought. How could she be in love with him, and yet respond to Alex as passionately as she did in the garden two nights ago? But it was Luc she wanted to marry.
Alex had befriended him on the long journey to the Holy Land, where they traded humorous stories of their youth around the nightly campfire. Now that Alex thought about it, he remembered many of the stories he told Luc were about Kat. Could it be that Sir Luc became intrigued with Kat all those years ago, forming an attachment for her from a distance, and then sought her out when he returned?
Despite their friendship in the past, Alex did not trust the man. The incident in the garden was proof that Sir Luc still wanted Kat. But how far would the man go to have her? Alex wondered.