Authors: Anita Brookner
‘You’re a sensible woman, Thea,’ said Austin, lying concave in his armchair. ‘What do you make of all this? Ann rings up a week ago, tells Kitty she’s getting married, says she wants to get married in London—putting Kitty to a lot of trouble, incidentally—announces her arrival for next Sunday, and then the three of them turn up like nomads nearly a week early. No consideration. Kitty’s all ready to organise a champagne buffet when Ann says she doesn’t want any fuss. If she didn’t want any fuss she should have seen to it that her young man stayed somewhere else, and that that friend of his …’
‘I’ve had an idea about that, Austin.’
‘They only wanted to share a room, you know, Ann and David. Kitty put a stop to that. “But Grandma, this is a mature relationship,” she said. “Not in this house,” I told her. Poor Kitty. She wants to feel happy, but she can’t. She wants it so much, Thea. She’s shed tears at night, when she thinks I’m asleep. She thinks of Gerald all the time. Whereas I know I’ve lost him, that’s the difference. After I had that little attack you might have thought he’d make some enquiries, wouldn’t you? Not a bit of it.’
‘Will he be coming to the wedding?’
‘Of course not. For one thing we can’t get in touch with him. For another he might have moved on. His lot occasionally take to the road. No, I’ve lost him, that’s the beginning and the end of it. And he was such a beautiful boy, Thea, so brilliant, so loving. I don’t know what went wrong. I torture myself, sitting here. Of course, I should never have retired—that was Kitty’s doing. But to tell you the truth I lost heart after that little attack, particularly when Gerald failed to enquire …’
‘How are you now?’ she managed to interpose, mainly to get him off the painful subject of Gerald. She could see how he was. He presented a caved-in appearance, with a collapsed-looking chest and an expansive stomach, and she remembered him as a handsome upright man, an excellent dancer and a surprisingly strong swimmer. She and Henry had spent a holiday at the Levinsons’ house at Freshwater, and had been so happy that she had never wanted to go back. To walk those cliff paths again with no-one holding her arm or her waist was not to be borne.
‘Not too bad’ was the cautious reply. ‘Of course I keep my pills to hand.’ He indicated a small onyx box on the table beside him. ‘This wedding I could have done without, mind you. Not that it affects me emotionally. I’m just paying for it. But to tell you the truth, Thea, I don’t like these young people very much. Ann is a complete stranger to us. Kitty can’t understand her, and I could tell she had hopes. But she doesn’t look like us, doesn’t even speak the same language.’
‘What does she do?’ asked Mrs May.
‘I’ll give you three guesses. No? Homeopathy,’ he brought out triumphantly.
‘I understand it’s what they call a sunrise industry.’
‘There are a million therapists out there, Thea, and not one of them can cure our broken hearts, Kitty’s and mine.’
‘And David? What does he do?’
‘He’s a teacher of some sort, in what I suspect is some kind of religious establishment. “I think of myself as bearer of the Christian message,” he told me. I told him not to expect much of a response in Hampstead, in that case. A moron. And she’s completely taken him in hand, orders him about, tells him off. Kitty is bewildered.’
‘Maybe he’s turning the other cheek,’ Mrs May said, and was happy to see that she had brought a smile to his lips. Seizing the moment as propitious, she introduced the subject of Steve.
‘I really can’t have him in the flat, Austin.’
‘No reason why he should be there, as I pointed out to him over dinner last night. He’s got a perfectly good family in Cheltenham, as I managed to ascertain. Father’s some kind of civil servant. But this Steve dropped out, joined what he called a rock band. I doubt if he’s got an ounce of talent. What’s more he doesn’t appear to have any means of support. David paid for him to come over. He was wandering all over America, had been for the last year. It was his lucky day when he met David, who is quite well off, apparently. David, for some reason, saw him as a kindred spirit. Of course the person we need now is Henry. He’d sort them out. Dear boy, we all miss him. It must be so sad for you.’ He looked at her affectionately. ‘You look well, though. Too thin, of course. You were always too thin.’
She smiled back at him, grateful for the kindness. ‘I want this Steve to go away,’ she said. ‘In fact I’ll pay for both the boys to stay in an hotel. But for a limited period only.’
‘Excellent idea. I’ll put it to them this evening. No doubt
Steve will want to dine here—again. Kitty was cooking all the afternoon. In this heat! And she’s not a young woman, Thea. We’re none of us young. The young shouldn’t expect us to put up with them.’
‘The world has moved on since our day. We no longer set the standards.’
‘Too right,’ he said gloomily. ‘Where’s Kitty? I know she’s been longing to see you.’
Not knowing how to respond to this
politesse
, Mrs May put her faith in the arrival of Kitty, which could surely not be long delayed. She was well aware that gargantuan preparations were in train. ‘What meads, what
kvasses
were brewed, what pies were baked at Oblomovka!’ To her surprise she was almost enjoying herself. Kitty’s tense telephone call, as if she were under duress, had been welcome, since she had no intention of staying in the flat waiting for Steve either to go out or to come in again. He had been with her for two days and it felt like a lifetime. The taxi ride to Hampstead had been in the nature of a novelty, and through the windows she had renewed acquaintance with the parks. She almost wished the journey had gone on for longer, but in these dog days of late summer, with so many people still away, the roads had been quite clear. And then the Levinsons’ flat was very soothing, with its silk shades pulled half way down against the strong sun, and the faint smells of beeswax and carnations from the many small tables. And Austin had always been courtly: Henry had been fond of him, and he had seemed so genuinely glad to see her. She was sure that she could trust him to get rid of Steve, and indeed of Ann and David, whom he clearly disliked.
‘If you could just mention my suggestion of an hotel this evening …’
‘Aha! At last! Where have you been, darling? Thea’s had to
put up with me for the last half-hour. Not that I haven’t enjoyed our chat.’
‘Good afternoon, Thea, dear,’ said Kitty, exhausted but immaculate in a tightly fitting silk print.
‘Kitty, what a marvellous dress.’
‘Hardy Amies. It is good, isn’t it? This is Ann. Where is she? Ann? This is Thea, Henry’s wife. I don’t expect you remember her.’
‘But I remember you,’ said Mrs May, seeing in the large dark-haired young woman the clumsy recalcitrant child she had once been. ‘How are you, Ann? And I see that congratulations are in order.’ She referred to the sizeable emerald ring on the equally sizeable hand.
‘This?’ Ann laughed, revealing two slightly crooked incisors. ‘Grandma gave me this. She thinks I’m not doing things properly.’
‘Tea,’ said Kitty, avoiding Austin’s severe look. ‘I’ve laid it in the dining room. I thought it would be easier. That way if the boys come in they can have it on their own. We won’t wait.’
Mrs May followed Ann’s broad back and legs across the room, feeling overdressed in her linen suit, which she had thought rather smart. She noted the slightly creased minidress, the skirt too tight. Not what Kitty would have wanted, she reflected.
‘Sit down, everyone,’ ordered Kitty, somewhat reassured by the evidence of what she thought suitable as an accompaniment to a cup of afternoon tea. Tea cakes were piled in a silver chafing dish, a banana loaf and two Victoria sponges, silver knives beside them, waited to be destroyed, and a pyramid of coconut tarts was placed to the right of the silver tea and coffee pots. ‘I didn’t make any sandwiches,’ said Kitty apologetically. ‘I’m afraid you’ll just have to put up with us today, Thea.’
‘Magnificent as always, Kitty. But how are you? And when is the wedding?’
Kitty flashed an exasperated look at her granddaughter. ‘Next Wednesday, if I can get the caterers in time. I’ve been on the phone all morning.’
‘Relax, Grandma. It’s no big deal.’
‘We have certain standards in this family, Ann, even if you seem unaware of them.’
‘Kitty, Kitty,’ murmured Austin, crumbling a slice of banana cake with his fork.
‘I’m sorry,’ said Kitty. ‘But Ann, if you eat so much you won’t be able to get into your wedding dress.’
Ann released a peal of laughter. ‘What wedding dress? Grandma, get real! I’m not going to get dressed up just to get hitched. It’s archaic, anyway.’
‘Then why are you doing it?’ demanded Austin.
‘We think it’s kinder to the baby,’ said Ann, reaching out to replenish her plate.
Kitty, Austin, even Mrs May, were for a split second united in carefully dissimulated speculation. Of course this in itself was not unexpected, or was not to be received as such. She felt them all struggling with disapproval, even with disappointment. Nothing, then, was to be salvaged from this wedding except the wedding itself, which must override the brute facts of nature, must be treated as a successful overture to whatever would come next, and that preferably out of sight. The terrible thought occurred to Mrs May that this interlude might be prolonged, might indeed stretch into infinity, until the Levinsons’ fragrant rooms filled with a baby’s paraphernalia, until Austin, in his chair, was reduced to groaning over his vanished quietude, until all thoughts of Kitty’s maternity were displaced by that of her granddaughter, and the memory of Gerald
retreated into oblivion. With Kitty and Austin in place, expectant, there was still room for Gerald. With all the rooms occupied, overflowing, in fact, he might never come home again. And what of Steve? It surely could not be that Steve would want to stay? He had, now that she came to think of it, mentioned the possibility. She would simply have to make it clear to him that this was out of the question. Again, she had no idea how this might be brought about.
At the same time she had to concede that these events exerted a certain fascination, a fascination against which Kitty was completely proof. One more inconvenience was neither here nor there, compared with the onerous task of preparing and organising the wedding. And yet the frown that clouded her still fine features held regret, as well as her habitual exasperation. It was to be hoped that the exasperation would carry her through. Kitty, after all, had a powerful tongue in her head. Kitty would make it clear when her hospitality was no longer available. That they might all be dependent on Kitty to perform this task was undoubtedly unfair, yet the fact remained that only Kitty could see it through. And Kitty’s standards, so often invoked in Mrs May’s hearing, would hold firm, even if it involved bidding a precipitate goodbye to the long lost granddaughter, so lately arrived. Kitty’s standards did not encompass small babies. Voluptuous preparations were one thing, unpleasant surprises quite another. A wedding might just be within Kitty’s sights, but nothing else was to be permitted. Even now Mrs May could feel her resolution hardening. And yet the regret was still there, not to be ignored.
A sly girl, thought Mrs May, and one who had learned to deride others for qualities which she herself did not possess. In the broad face she could still see the lineaments of the glum child, but now altered into adult awareness. The dark hair,
once flat, as if reflecting the child’s depression, was transformed into a frizzled mop, unsuitable for the large, rather imposing figure in her parodic skirt. The mocking smile held them all to ransom, yet there were traces of disquiet in the fine eyes, her best feature. Mrs May could see no resemblance to any of the family, all of whom, in growing older, had seemed to assume a single expression. Ann must resemble her absent mother, rather than her equally absent father. Kitty must have registered this at once; hence her displeasure. Mrs May, who had known neither of them, merely saw something untidy, sensual, unfocused. The girl had no looks to speak of, and yet she gave out an aura of health, hardiness. Above the full throat the mocking smile came and went, occasionally taking soundings from the silence that had greeted her revelation. In her boldness Mrs May sensed the child’s former antagonism come to fruition.
‘What I don’t understand …’ Austin began, but was interrupted by the sound of the front door opening and closing. Kitty too had been obliged to hand over keys. The two young men, in identical sweatshirts and jeans, presented themselves in the doorway, as if waiting for all to rise.
‘Come in,’ said Austin heavily. ‘Sit down. This is Dorothea, Henry’s wife.’
‘Hi there,’ said the one who was not Steve. ‘Glad to meet with you, Dorothea. I believe you’ll be coming to share witness with us on the big day?’
‘How do you do,’ responded Mrs May. For a moment or two she had shared Austin’s distrust, for no reason that she could honestly entertain. It was the smile that dismayed her, the careful all-purpose smile of the professional well-wisher. It was also the smile of a man who had nothing to hide. It was entirely possible, she thought, that this David was what was
commonly understood as a good person. His goodness, however, did not make him attractive. She could not quite understand this, although she could see, in his unvarying smile, directed at each of them in turn, that he had the awful simplicity of one who had managed to turn his back on life’s little illogicalities. Pleasing in appearance—if one liked small heads and neat beards—he was not quite pleasing in manner. This, she thought, had something to do with the fact that he clearly expected to be waited on; in exchange he would offer his goodwill, and his smile. There was nothing about him of the prospective bridegroom; indeed he seemed innocent of sexual impulses. She thought it unlikely that he would have moved out of his unmarried state by choice, but presented with the choice by one whose will was stronger than his own he had judged it prudent to acquiesce. Perhaps he was shocked, and could not countenance shock. Certainty, however unwillingly arrived at, was more comfortable. And he had compensated by exhibiting a kind of hospitable passivity. He was very slightly eery.