Violet Path (26 page)
“Yes!” I said.
“Which one?”
“His . . . birthday,” I stammered.
David cursed under his breath, then spoke gently to his brother as he encouraged him not to give up. His voice was strangely entrancing. I watched attentively, not understanding what was happening. Maxime’s tension softened, and he grew incredibly weak. He collapsed with a loud exhale. David turned him onto his back and found his pulse. Maxime looked lifeless, as pale as snow. “He’s all right,” David said in a calmer tone. “I’ll explain what I can later, but let’s get him to his bed right now before anyone else comes.”
While David carried Maxime into the cabin, I stripped the bed and David lay Maxime’s body down. He tenderly placed a pillow under his brother’s head as I pulled the covers up to keep him warm. Maxime looked at peace with his eyes closed.
“He needs to rest,” David said as he ran his hand through Maxime’s thick curls.
We sat at the bottom of the stairs that led to Maxime’s cabin. I silently waited for an explanation.
David picked up a stick and started drawing circles in the dirt. “It’s a programming device beneath his skin,” he said. “It’s like the one that was placed in my neck only much more advanced. We cannot get rid of it. We’ve tried everything, but it’s useless. He’s had it since he was about twelve.”
“What’s the program for?” I asked hesitantly.
“Two things. One: it uses his anger and hate to strengthen him. And two: to kill you.”
My stomach plummeted. Maxime was programmed to kill me? No, it couldn’t be true. Tears formed in my eyes.
“It used to have a third reason—following orders—but we eliminated that one. The only side effect of the attempted antidote is that his eyes change color depending on his moods, but only three colors: green, blue, and black. Black is anger or hate. At first it was pretty cool, but now I don’t even remember if he originally had green or blue eyes. I’m not even sure what those two colors represent. I’m pretty sure green is neutral, but I wouldn’t bet on that. Based on his eye color, people can tell if he’s against a compromise. Anyway, his eyes change color for specific reasons. Black tends to be triggered by any reference to Matthew and the thought of his birthday, because that was when his parents were killed. Other factors contribute easily, but if anything can be related to Matthew or Maxime’s family, his eyes will darken.
“He’s almost always in pain, but he has learned to control it. As you just witnessed, it’s not always easy, because he has to go against the program that is trying to control him. It’s like overriding commands without the right power. It’s complicated. Don’t take it personally, but he’s programmed to kill you. You’ll have to ask him for the details. He won’t even share all of them with me. I don’t even know how he got it exactly, but the more time you spend with him, the more you’ll understand it. When you’re around, it reminds him of what he’s supposed to do. Mix that with his birthday tomorrow, and you get the crisis that just occurred. Don’t worry; he’s used to fighting the program, as you can tell since you’re still alive.”
“Who programmed him? When? How?” Too many questions were storming through my mind.
“That’s for him to answer. I swore never to say. Sorry.”
“You can’t do that. Please.”
“No.”
I didn’t ask a third time, already being consumed by the information I had just gathered. It felt as if a meteor had just rammed into my head. I was spinning in complete confusion. “Is there anyway to just appease the pain?” I asked.
“Not really. Painkillers accentuate the rage because it cuts off the chemical reaction that allows the brain to analyze a situation. We tried it six years ago. It’s like an internal war that drains his energy. You should be careful today, tomorrow, and after tomorrow, because the program will be very sensitive. When his eyes are black, change conversation topics. And if it gets really out of hand, get help, defend yourself, and encourage him to not give in,” David spewed as if he were reading from a manual.
“How bad can it get?” I was afraid of the answer.
“With all the years of experience, it shouldn’t be too bad. He knows to isolate himself if he feels the need to kill.”
“Is death possible?” I questioned.
“Yes.”
“For anyone? He would kill anyone who triggers it?”
“Unlikely, but yes. Stay out of his way when he tells you to. Here’s what happened six years ago . . .” David stood up and pulled up his shirt to reveal a scar from his right hip to his left shoulder.
I cringed. “Why kill me?”
“Whether you like it or not, everything surrounds you. Matthew wants you to kill, and others want to kill you so you won’t kill. Kind of ironic, no? Everyone just wants the war to end, so getting rid of his heir seems like a good step. The program only targets you because you were and in some cases still are considered a threat. Andrew can’t face Matthew simply because it goes against the code. It’s really complicated, and you’ll have to ask him about it. I don’t even understand it.” The door slowly opened, and we turned around.
“David, I . . .” Maxime was barely standing at the top of the stairs. He looked drugged.
“Andrew! You’re too weak. You need to rest,” David insisted.
“I’m fine . . .” Maxime started to fall, and I ran up the stairs to catch him.
“No, you’re not,” I whispered in his ear. I loved holding him. His soft curls cushioned my ear. His arms and legs dangled lifeless. He was unconscious, so I pressed my lips against his neck and kissed him. I didn’t want to let go. I loved him, the man who was programmed to kill me.
David took Maxime from me, but I didn’t want to let him go. I knew that I couldn’t love him. As he slipped out of my arms, his scent danced in the air, circulating above us. “Shouldn’t someone watch him?” I asked David.
“No one can. It’s too dangerous for you. I have to run The Shadows, and if anyone finds out about this, he can lose his position,” he explained. “Just go, and be careful.”
I walked to the lake and sat on a stump, tears burning my eyes. Everything was a blur. Maxime was constantly being tortured because of me. He was programmed to kill me, and I hated myself. Why me? Why had I been born? I kicked the dirt, tears streaming down my face. It just wasn’t fair. For the first time in my life, I had found a place where I truly belonged. I had found the man I loved, the man who caused my heart to flutter. I sobbed uncontrollably. We couldn’t be together without him suffering. I needed to go, but I didn’t know where.
I stood, my heart racing. I needed to leave before anyone else got hurt. I had already caused Maxime too much pain. I would hide somewhere—I wasn’t sure where, maybe live out my days in the forest, anywhere far from Matthew. And I knew I would think of Maxime every day for the rest of my life. I stood up, wiped the tears from my eyes, accepting my fate, and headed toward my cabin.
On my way down to camp, I avoided everyone and rushed to my cabin.
I hastily started shoving clothing and anything else that I would need into a bag. I didn’t want it to end this way. The thought of never seeing Maxime again was more painful than any bruise or cut or stab or bullet wound. But I needed to leave so he could hopefully end the war.
I took one last look around my cabin. It had been my refuge for the last five months, and it was the first time in all my sixteen years that I felt like I had a home.
I shut the door and quietly said goodbye to my friends and the man I loved.
“Please don’t leave.” The melodic voice came from behind.
I couldn’t face him.
“Please turn around.”
I slowly turned, my heart shattering into a million pieces. I had reluctantly accepted the fact I needed to leave, and he was making my decision harder.
Maxime was leaning against a tree to keep him up. “You need to rest,” I told him.
“And you need to listen. I don’t know what David told you, but it doesn’t matter. You can’t leave.”
“Why not? Me being here is torture to you!” I wanted to run away and cry my heart out.
“No, it’s not.”
“David explained the whole program thing to me.” Tears ran down my cheeks.
“Then tell me what color my eyes are.” He slowly walked up to me and took the bag from my hands, signaling I wasn’t leaving. Through my tears, I saw his deep, cerulean eyes. They weren’t black. I didn’t understand what it meant.
“Blue,” I mumbled.
He took a step back. “Please don’t go,” he repeated.
My eyes were glued to his. He made my heart beat. He was like a bright, warm flame in the middle of darkness; I would always be drawn back to it. I couldn’t leave, but I couldn’t just give in to hurting him.“Why aren’t your eyes black?” I asked.
“Because they’re blue.”
“What does that mean?” I was still crying.
“You tell me.” He smiled and wrapped his arms around me, reassuring my stay. My knees went weak as I absorbed his embrace.
“I don’t know. David didn’t tell me,” I sobbed.
“I don’t think he even knows the answer. Tell me when you figure it out,” he whispered softly, comforting me.
I buried my face in his chest as tears flowed down my cheeks and wet his shirt. His large, warm hands cradled me, protected me, and comforted me. I could feel his heart beating slowly. He rested his chin on top of my head. I loved him. I didn’t want to move. I wished the world would freeze, that time would stand still, that he would hold me forever.
“You fought very well.”
“Thank you.” I kept my eyes shut, holding onto the moment.
“You’re upset because you lost?”
I nodded. “It wasn’t a big deal.”
“Anton is the leader of Jarva and has been for over thirty years.”
“What’s your point?”
“You should be proud. He doesn’t lose.”
“I should be proud that I lost to an old man?” I hadn’t meant to be insulting or rude; it had just slipped out.
“Does age matter?”
“I guess not.”
“Don’t guess, know. Age doesn’t matter; otherwise, we wouldn’t be here.”
“And Ryan?”
“That’s a different story. My point is that it was an unfair fight. Anton had more experience and wasn’t supposed to compete in the tournament. He had been watching you, was impressed, found your faults, and asked if he could challenge you. I said that it was up to you. David said that it would have to count, so it did.”
I had nothing to say. I couldn’t care less about the tournament; all I cared about was Maxime.
“We should head back or David will start to worry.” Maxime slowly let me go.
My heart sunk again. I didn’t want to leave. I wanted him to stay with me, alone, but together. The more time I spent with him, the more I wanted to be with him. He dropped his hands to his side, pulling the warmth away from me. I could spend an eternity looking into his soul and not grow tired of it. I gazed into his azure eyes, searching for the end of the universe.
I decided to stay.
As selfish as it was, I just couldn’t leave Maxime. But last night opened my eyes, and if I needed to leave at any moment, I was a little more prepared, brokenhearted or not.
Maxime had arrived at my cabin. I hadn’t seen him all day, figuring that he was resting. When I heard the knock on my door, I was just getting ready for bed, but my heart skipped a beat. I knew it was him.
“I have a surprise for you,” he said with a smile. His blue eyes twinkled in the moonlight. “Follow me.”
We arrived at the lake. The stars reflected on the cold water’s surface like glimmering fairies dancing. The silver moon was like a drop of pure magic elixir in the middle of the black lake. It was a sweet fairy tale.
“Here.” Maxime handed me a body-warmer even though I already had one. “The water is cold. Trust me, you’ll need both.” He then took out two small blue pills and handed me one of them. “This will allow you to breathe under water for up to three hours, but you must go under water fifteen minutes after taking it. The first breath burns your lungs a bit, but it’s not too bad. It allows the oxygen molecules to pass through the alveoli membrane as if it were gas. It’s weird at first.”
“We’re swimming for three hours?” I asked.
“Probably not three hours. I suggest taking your boots off, but the rest is up to you,” Maxime said. He took his shirt off and hung it on a tree branch. I was awestruck by his muscular physique. I took off my boots. I laid my shirt by Maxime’s. I was already freezing with only the wound dressing and pants.
“Ready?” he asked. I nodded.
We swallowed our pill at the same time. My heart skipped a beat as he picked me up and dove into the cool water. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kept my eyes shut as he swam with me in his arms. To my surprise, the water wasn’t too cold.
The pill started kicking in. My lungs tightened and my heart raced, demanding for oxygen, but my body refused the air. I started to panic.
“Try to relax,” Maxime said. “On the count of three, we’re going to go under the water. Just take long, slow breaths. Ready?”
I nodded, too afraid to speak.
“One, two, three . . .”
The freezing water enveloped me, and the world went silent. My cheeks bulged with air, instinctively trying to hold my breath. But I couldn’t hold it any longer. I started to flail, but Maxime tightened his grip. I needed to breathe. I opened my mouth . . .
The water burned my throat but cooled my body. I felt the fresh oxygen disperse inside me like a drop of ink in a glass of creamy milk. I started to breathe normally, as if my lungs were just taking in air.
I opened my eyes. I couldn’t see the bottom of the deep lake or an inch in front of my face. I was in pure blackness, and I started to panic, tightening my grip around Maxime. I searched for his face in the dark. And then I could slowly make out his deep, blue eyes. He smiled and then let me go.
No, Maxime, please don’t let me go. Please don’t leave me.
He pointed upward, and we swam to the surface.
As we emerged from the water, I gasped for air, panting and heaving, but calmed down after a moment. I was okay. I was alive.
“You’re scared,” Maxime stated bluntly.