Vindicated (9 page)

Everyone stood in a circle for a silent moment, shock at seeing an actual fight break out in the middle of a party.

“Let’s move on people,” Dad said, waving everyone away from Rod and Alex.
 
Erupting into conversations, they disbursed.

“What was
that
all about?” I asked, turning my focus to Amber who was fussing over Rod as he cradled his hand.

“That,” she said as she grabbed a napkin and some ice cubes from the table.
 
“Was Todd.”

“Your ex who beat the crap out of you?” I asked, my insides flaring instantly.

Amber nodded.
 
“He showed up a few minutes ago, calling me a deserting whore.
 
He tried grabbing me.”

“He seriously
shouldn’t
have done that,” Rod said through clenched teeth.
 
“You should have just let me at him, Alex.
 
Guys like that need to learn a lesson or two from someone who can stand up to them.”

“And if I hadn’t stepped in you’d be spending the night in a jail cell,” Alex piped up, his voice sounding on edge.
 
I saw the way his entire frame was shaking.

The afterlife was calling.

“Cool it!” Alex barked, his tone just a little too harsh.

Amber and Rod ducked inside to take care of his hand and bleeding nose, their expressions slightly startled at Alex’s outburst.

“His temper is really going to get him in trouble someday,” Alex said.
 
He squeezed his eyes closed, taking a deep breath.

“I saw him again,” I said quietly, changing the subject.
 
I softly put my hand on his quaking arm.
 
“I followed him.

“You did?” Alex’s eyes flashed open.
 
“And?”

“And nothing,” I said, watching as Alex’s frame stopped quivering.
 
“I asked him what he wanted but he didn’t say anything.
 
And then he literally disappeared into the sunset.”

“Creeper,” Alex said under his breath.
 
I couldn’t help but chuckle.
 
Alex cracked a smile too.

CHAPTER SEVEN

Alex paced in the living room, talking out his cell phone to the police about Caroline.
 
Things didn’t sound good.

I forced the orange juice down as I half listened to him, setting my glass in the sink.
 
I stared out the window over the kitchen sink, not really seeing anything.
 
I hadn’t slept at all the night before, just stared up at the ceiling, lying next to a silent Alex.

I was feeling desperate.
 
Why couldn’t I think of a way to save him?
 
Alex had saved me, now why couldn’t I do the same thing?

“Jessica?” I heard my mom’s hesitant voice from behind me.
 
“Could we talk for a while?”

I felt my stomach drop out and I suddenly wished I hadn’t drunk the juice.
 
“Sure,” I managed to squeak out.

I’d known this conversation was going to come sometime during this trip but I’d started hoping that maybe we were both going to chicken out of it.
 
Apparently my mom was braver than I was.

I followed her into the office, settling into one of the swivel chairs.
 
She closed the door behind us and sat as well.

We just stared at each other for a while, both unsure of what to say after all this time.

“You’re so grown up now,” she said with a small smile on her lips.
 
It didn’t quite look real.
 
“You’re not a girl anymore.
 
You’ve become a woman.”

I just nodded, my lips tight.

“Tell me about your life now,” she attempted to keep her voice up, trying to sound engaged and excited.
 
“What have you been up to?”

“Um,” I struggled to talk around the lump in my throat.
 
“Well, I’ve been in Washington for a few years now, as I’m sure dad’s told you.
 
I’ve made a few friends.
 
I go to a yoga class a few days a week.
 
The instructor is my best friend.
 
I work in a book store.
 
I really like my boss.”

“A book store?” she said with a smile. “You did always love to read at nights.”

I swallowed hard as the subject we were both dancing around was hinted upon.
 
“Yeah, I really like the job.
 
I’ve been there a few months now.”

“Tell me about how you met Alex,” she said as she tucked a leg up under her.

I felt a smile crack on my lips.
 
“Well, I was care taking what was then his grandparent’s house.
 
It was the middle of the night and I heard the door upstairs open.
 
I thought someone was breaking in,” I chuckled, recalling the fear that leapt through me.
 
“I grabbed a baseball bat and nearly clobbered him in the stairway.”
 
Mom started laughing.
 
“I thought he was a burglar.”

“That must have scared the tar out of you,” she chuckled, covering her mouth.

“Yeah,” I said, my eyes falling to the floor between us.
 
“And then he told me the house was his, that his grandparents had died and left everything to him.
 
Things were a little awkward for a bit.”

“Isn’t life crazy sometimes?” Mom sighed, shaking her head slowly.

“It sure is,” I said quietly, twisting my fingers around each other.

There was a moment of quiet before she spoke again.
 
“I’m glad to see you so happy, Jessica.
 
At least you seem to be.”

“I am,” I said as I met her eyes.

“I just wish we could have gotten you the help you needed sooner.”

My insides hollowed out as she finally said it.

“Did you start seeing a psychologist after you left?” she asked, her voice sounding so innocent and caring.

And every fight we had had, every plead, every scream slammed into me again.
 
It took everything I had in me to not bolt for the door.

“I didn’t need a psychologist, Mom,” I said, my voice quivering.
 
I closed my eyes, fighting back the sting behind my eyes.
 
I wouldn’t cry, I would
not
let her see me cry.
 
Again.
 
“I needed you to believe me.”

“Oh sweetie,” she said in a sweet tone.
 
My eyes opened to see her concerned expression.
 
It turned my insides hot.
 
“I believed you believed it all.
 
But you seem to have moved on.”

“I didn’t just move on,” I said, my voice escalating.
 
“Things changed, but I never moved on!
 
I couldn’t move on.”

“Calm down sweetie,” Mom said, her eyes growing wide and hard.

“No, Mom,” I practically yelled.
 
“I will not calm down!
 
I was stuck in hell and you wanted to pretend none of it existed!”

“That’s because it didn’t, Jessica,” she said, her tone rising too.
 
The frustration I knew too well flooded back into her eyes.

“It was real, Mom!” I practically yelled.
 
As I said the words, I grabbed the hem of my shirt and lifted it over my head as I stood.
 
Wearing only my bra, I turned my back to her, the morning light coming from the window reflecting a metallic glint.
 
“Do these look made up to you?”

I heard her gasp as she took the wings in.
 
With one hand, I gathered my hair in one hand and pulled it away from my neck, exposing my brand.
 
“It was real,” I half whispered.

Something that sounded like a sob escaped my mother’s chest and as I looked back at her, I saw tears glistening in her eyes.

“Why would you do that to yourself sweetie?” she asked quietly.
 
“You’re such a beautiful young woman.”

“You think…” I stuttered.
 
“You think I would do something like this to myself?!”

I couldn’t take it anymore.
 
I crossed to the door, walked out, and slammed the door behind me.
 
Amber and Rod had poked their heads out of their door, their eyes widening as they took in my nearly topless form.
 
Rod got his first glance at my scars.

“You okay?” Amber asked quietly.

“Do I look like I’m okay?” I said sharply as I yanked my shirt back down over my head.
 
Without waiting for her to reply, I stalked down the hall toward the back door.
 
Yanking it open, I stepped outside, leaving the door knob bent into the shape of my hand.
 
I was too furious to care.

I found Dad and Alex sitting on the back deck, both their eyes widening as they saw me.

“Jessica, I…” my dad started.

“She’s just so…” I started raging as I paced back and forth.
 
“I even showed them to her and she still didn’t believe me!”

“Jessica, your mother…”

“Don’t defend her, Dad,” I said coldly as I turned my eyes on him.
 
“Just don’t.”

I didn’t wait for either of them to say anymore as I started across the back lawn.
 
There was an opening in the fence that let out into the back alleyway that led to a park that hadn’t gotten much use in the last decade.
 
Walking over to the swing set, I flopped down and slowly pushed myself back and forth, the rusty chains creaking above me.

I was glad when Alex didn’t follow after me.
 
I just wanted to be alone for a while.
 

I knew people judged me for leaving my family behind.
 
They thought I had abandoned them, that I was a reckless runaway.
 
But how was I supposed to live with a person who thought I was insane?
 
Who wouldn’t show the slightest bit of support in the terror that filled my life?

I needed a mother to hold me while I cried, someone I could just be afraid with.
 

But she wasn’t that kind of mother to me.

Things felt so out of control right now.
 
I was like I had been strapped to a rocket that was hurtling through life.
 
I couldn’t get a grasp on everything that was happening.
 
Maybe it was more like I had been strapped to missile.
 
I needed to figure out how to diffuse it and fast, or everything was going to blow up.
 
And then that would be the end.

Trying not to think about my mother, I turned everything else over and over in my head.
 
Alex was being pulled back.
 
He didn’t have long.
 
I had seen what happened to Cole, the way he started falling apart and slowly faded away.

If they can’t claim you, what are you willing to do to save him?

I was
willing
to do anything.
 
But I just didn’t know what I
could
do.

And now the council was watching me.
 
Cole had said to hide what had happened to me.
 
That it was the only advantage that I had against them.

How was I going to use my supposed immortality against them?
 
How was that supposed to help me?
 
It wasn’t like I could give my life for Alex.
 
He was already dead, traded his life for mine.

The countdown was on but I didn’t know how many numbers were still left on the clock until this thing exploded and it was all over.