Victoria's Challenge (8 page)

“For now, but we
’ll talk about it again.”

Not if she can help it, she thinks, she’s not sure she can take him ‘talking’ to her again
. Not after the other night.

“Fine, sit.
” Pointing to the couch, she gathers her supplies.

Sitting on the table, pillow in her lap
, she takes one of his arms. Carefully cutting through the bandages, she removes the splints.

“How are you doing?
” Serious eyes meet his.

“It’s fine.
” He watches as she carefully removes the dressings, with gloved hands she cups his, lifting it up to scrutinize each wound.

“Bend your index finger.
” She orders.

“What?
” Confusion colors his reply.

“Bend.
” She keeps her eyes locked on his finger. When it moves, she nods. “Now from here.” She touches the middle knuckle. Sweating just a little, he complies.

“
How does it feel?” Victoria raises her eyes to him.

“Tight.
”

“Just tight?
” She wants clarification. “No pain?”

“Not really
. It just feels tight, like I’ve never used it before.”

“You haven’t
. You have a lot of newly healed tendon and muscle. It needs to be shown what it needs to do.” She repeated the procedure with his remaining fingers and thumb.

“Good, now try and do this.” Victoria touches her thumb and little finger together. Watching as he tries and can only get them half way. She gives him a brilliant smile, her eyes sparkling.

“That’s
great
Lucas.”

“What’s so fucking
great
about it?” He watches her smile disappear. Her eyes go flat. “Victoria…”

“You have
movement in every muscle and tendon.” Carefully, she puts his hand down. “Let’s check the other one.”

Lifting his unbound
hand, he reaches out to touch her.

“Don’t!
” She jerks away. Taking his other hand, she repeats the procedures.

Watching her
, Lucas does what she asks, finding he can’t speak. Having her jerk away from him, from his touch, hurts. Hurts more than the treatments she’s giving him, something he never thought possible. She is the only person he will ever love, and she’s pulling away from him.

“You’re progressing well, Major.” With his hands resting back in his lap, she rises putting away the supplies. Looking at the time, she sees it’s already 1200. “Are you ready for second meal? I can wrap your hands and fingers so you can try to feed yourself. I would recommend something that doesn’t involve cutting but it’s up to you.”

The thought of feeding himself
, distracts him from whatever thoughts he’d been having as she’d hoped. She really didn’t want to get into it with him.

“I’m ready for that?
” Lucas can’t hide his surprise. “Tanner took two moon cycles.”

“I said try.
” The smile she gives him is forced. “It’s going to be messy but would be considered therapy.”

“Yeah, I’d like to try
. Victoria…”

“Leave it alone.
” Returning, she wraps his fingers, hands and arms up to his elbows. “I’ll get the meal. You
will not
lift
anything
while I’m gone.” At his look, her eyes harden. “If you do, you could tear a tendon or muscle, they’re still fragile. If you do that, you’re back to the first treatment. It’s that serious.”

Looking at
her, he can tell she means it.

“I’ll sit here like a good little boy.
” He tells her causing her lips to twitch.

“I doubt you were ever a
good
little boy.” Standing, she gets second meal.

Waiting, Lucas can do nothing but think. Think about the explosion. Think about Hot Dog. Think about the treatments. Think about Victoria. Victoria. Sighing, he leans his head back. What is he going to do about Victoria?

He kn
ows what he wants to do. Hell, he’s a man. She’s a woman… a woman. When had he stopped thinking about her as a child? In the maintenance room? After the explosion when she’d breezed into medical and taken control? When she’d done what needed to be done, knowing it was going to hurt. Hurt her. Hurt him. During the treatments? Those fucking painful treatments, when she’d let him lean on her, literally, comforting him the only way she could, knowing she was causing the excruciating pain.

If they just met, here, now, on the Retribution, he’d want her
. Would pursue her. Would fall in love with her. So why isn’t he? Because he doesn’t want to be hurt, hurt if she chooses someone else. What if she doesn’t feel the same way he does, if it really is hero worship, it would destroy him. Laughing silently he closes his eyes. Could anything hurt worse than having her jerk away from him?

“It could hurt.” Matthew Zafar looks at his grandson.

“What
? Granddad?” Lucas stares into eyes he hasn’t seen in cycles. Glancing around, he finds they’re on the high bank of the lake near the family cabin.

“Hello
, Lucas.”

“What’s going on?”

“You’re thinking about taking the leap, it could hurt.”

“What are you talking about?
” Matthew gestures to the rope in his hand.

Realizing he’s in his swim gear
, Lucas smiles. The Zafar leap. Swing off the bank, across the rocks, into the cool, deep waters of the lake. Every Zafar has done it before entering the Academy.

“It’s a risk,
an unnecessary one. You could get hurt.”

“You always say living is a risk.
” Lucas looks back to his granddad.

“True
. Are you sure that the rope will hold you? What if it breaks?”

“It won’t break.
” He tells him confidently.

“How do you know?”

“Because
you
put that rope there, knowing I would be using it.
You’d
never do anything to hurt me.”

“I seem to recall beating your butt a time or two.”

“Well yeah, but that’s different, it was for my own good.”

“You didn’t think so at the time.”

“No. But I’m older now.”

“It’s still an unnecessary risk
. Your life won’t end if you don’t take it.”

“But
then I’ll always wonder if I should have, and that would be worse than getting hurt. At least then I’d know for sure.” Matthew nods.

“It’s always better to know, even if you don’t like the answer
. You have to trust yourself Lucas. Trust the rope… that it won’t break… get a good grip…”

“Lucas?” Victoria gently touches his shoulder. The way his hands are twitching, concerns her. “Lucas.” Putting a knee on the couch, she’s leaning over him, ready to give him a good shake when his eyes open, boring into hers. She doesn’t know what she’s seeing but it’s not pain…

“What?
” Using an arm, he pulls her into his lap.

“Lucas
! What are you doing?”

“Shut up for a minute okay
? Just give me a minute.” She fits perfectly in his lap, in his arms. Tucking her in closer, he rests his head on top of hers, breathing her in.

He
knows what his dream is telling him. He needs to decide if he’s willing to risk, risk her rejecting him. To trust that the bond they forged all those cycles ago is still there and will hold. He knows he’s hurt her, but he could fix that, couldn’t he? He just needs to tell her the truth, the whole truth.

Oh God, she’s in his arms. Closing her eyes, she breathes in his scent, this is Lucas, her life mate. She hadn’t been wrong all those cycles ago. This is the man for her. How is she going to survive this? Survive not only losing him but have him hate her. Feeling tears start to well up, she knows she has to move. If he sees her cry, he’ll think she’s incompetent then she can’t help him.

“
Let me up.”

“In a minute.”

“No,
now
.” Her tone has him loosening his arms. She quickly stands, going to the tray to pick up his plate.

“Forc or spoon?
” The eyes she raises to his are blank and expressionless. God how had he hurt her now? “Major…”

“Forc and its
Lucas!
”

“Y
ou’re not going to be able to hold it like you’re used to, not yet. Think of this as a training mission. Don’t force anything.” She ignores his last comment.

“Shut up and let me figure it out!
” His frustration is getting the better of him, fuck! He watches her walk away. Looking back to his plate, he tries to pick up some food. He can’t get a good grip on the forc and it slips out of his hand. It takes him three tries to pick it up. This time, he wedges it between two fingers like a seesaw, using his thumb he braces it to slide under the vegetables on his plate. Half of it makes it to his mouth. He goes back for more.

Watching
, Victoria senses his building frustration but he doesn’t quit. That’s Lucas, once he’s decided on something, that’s it. Just like he decided she wasn’t going to be part of his life. How her heart hurts at the thought, but that was it, especially now, after the treatments. He might tolerate her, but he'll never love her. She’ll learn to live with it, eventually. When he finally leans back, she steps up.

“Do you want help finishing?”

“No.” His eyes burn into hers.

“Okay
. How does your hand feel? The truth.”

“It’s sore.
” Pulling on gloves, she carefully unwraps one arm.

“Cramping?”

“No.” Lifting his hand, she pokes the spot where the forc had been resting.

“Fuck
! Stop that!” He whips his hand away.

“You need a treatment to relax that tendon.
” She calmly meets his eyes.

“Fuck that!”

“If it tears, you’re back to the beginning.” She sees the anger in his eyes, anger directed at her. “Your choice.”

How could she ask that of him
! Didn’t she know how much those treatments fucking hurt?!! Did she enjoy hurting him! Through his anger, he hears his Granddad’s voice.
I beat your butt a few times
for his own good, to help him. Closing his eyes, he takes a deep breath, just as Victoria is doing. Helping him, he knew that, he
knew
it. She knew exactly what the treatments were doing to him and it hurt
her
just as much as him, but she didn’t let it stop her because it was
helping
him.

“Treatment.
” Opening his eyes, he looks at her. “I’m sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for
, Major.” Her tone is brisk, her eyes shuttered. “I’ll get the sink ready.”

Standing in the doorway, he watches her prepare the treatment. She’s precise, efficient, knowing exactly what needs to be done. Picking up the syringe, she walks over to him.

“How much longer am I going to be taking this stuff?”

“Depends.” Giving him the shot, she turns away.

“That’s not an answer.”

“It’s the only one I can give you. It depends on how many more treatments you need. Once you no longer need treatments, your meds will be lowered considerably. You’ll still need some for rehab and strength training, but that shouldn’t be much.”

“When?”

“When you stop treatments. That’s the only answer I can give you because that’s all I know. Sit.”

Turning she picks up his unwrapped hand
to start the treatment. Hissing, Lucas has to stop himself from swearing at her.

“Swearing helps.
” Lucas ignores her.

“Why does it hurt so much
?” He asks through gritted teeth.

“What?
” Momentarily distracted, she looks back at him.

“It feels like the first time.”

“You’ve started using your hand again.” She looks back to her task. “Stressing the tendons and muscles, they’ve tightened back up. Think about it like you haven’t exercised for a cycle, then you going running, when you stop, your muscles tighten up.”

“You knew this would happen
,” he accuses.

“Yes.
” She starts to work the most sensitive spot.

“Fuck Victoria!
” This time he can’t hold it back.

She has to bite her tongue not to say
she’s sorry. She’s not sorry. This will get him back. All the way back. She feels him lay his head against her back looking for comfort.

“Talk Major
, talk to me. Tell me something I don’t know.”