Venomous: Erotic Science Fiction Romance (Alien Warrior Book 1) (55 page)

Hovering on the periphery of our group, having arrived sometime during the confrontation with Venin, she stared at me with over-bright brille, wringing her hands in herky-jerky fits.

Fiercely felt me tense. “Do not fear. Those responsible will be found.” The smooth area around his mouth pulled taut. “And punished.”

“
Severely
,” Cobra vowed an animalistic growl just held in check.

Singing Water grew paler.

Beowyn stared at me, having caught my distressed expression at the subject matter.

His slanted eyes narrowed, but he held his peace.

My lips parted, yet nothing came out.

Fuck, I can’t do it
.

I couldn’t watch another person go through that degrading scene, and I didn’t want to make it worse.

Without a shadow of a doubt, Cobra would shun his Rä’Na.

She’d acted as she had because of how he looked at me.

It was a cycle I could break by showing mercy.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I turned my face into Fiercely’s chest, inhaled his soothing blend of vanillin pepper. “Take me home?”

“The storm?” Beowyn questioned.

“Will go no further,” Cobra assured, “and is receding.”

Éorik turned to his leader. “We can leave.”

“Stay until tomorrow?” I asked. “I’d like to have a meal, get to know you.”

Beowyn blinked. “Are you sure? This is not a time of grief?”

“I want you to stay.” Maybe their presence would help. They were decent, and I wanted to be friends. “The least we can do is invite you over for last meal as thanks for your help.”

“Where to put them?” Cobra muttered.

Beowyn waved him off. “We have comfortable quarters on our ship. We will rest there for the night.”

“Nest mate,” Fiercely called. “We return to our lair.”

Venomous stiffened, heaved a sigh, and then walked to meet us.

Without another word, Fiercely lifted me.

Over his shoulder, I saw Singing Water slouch into her Rä’Vek.

Cobra that Strikes appeared shocked she’d touched him.

He clumsily put his arm around her.

She cringed then shrugged him off to scurry down a passageway into the main body of the Senate Quarter.

He sighed and turned to watch me leave.

Venin hissed at me with fangs dripping toxin as we went to pass through
the haze.

A shadow fell over her.

She cowered, shielding her face as Venomous jerked as if to shove her aside.

“
As if I would sink so low
,” he growled then snatched me from Fiercely.

He left her there without a backward glance, just the same as when she sold me to the Veraks.

We rode the goodbeast home.

Handing them off to the Sylphs, Venomous put me in Fiercely’s outstretched arms, so he could dismount.

Disorientated, I let them move me about like a ragdoll without stuffing.

It seemed too complicated to talk, or walk, or even think.

The
shunning
had been horrific.

I just wanted to curl up in our nest, safe with my loving mates, and sleep forever.

Seeing the entrance to our lair grow nearer, I struggled to get down.

I lurched towards my safe haven, but hands stopped me.

Venomous and Fiercely cut formidable silhouettes in the starry sky.

The winds picked up, stirring their quills, entwining their scents.

Their gold reflected rays of burnt sunlight as the sun set into a rumple of green powder, the sandstorm a fuzzy mess.

With as much patience as I could muster, I waited for them to speak.

Watchful, pensive, their expressions twisted in worry and resolve as their bodies braced.

Fiercely said, “Lumen, you need a lesser male.”

“I can’t do this right now.”

Venomous hissed. “This must be resolved. I want you bound to us.”

I swallowed.
I am not ready to deal with this
. “I know this is important.” My throat closed. “But you’re asking me to do something else that’s going to be traumatic so soon after....”

“There is nothing to fear,” Fiercely said his tone short. “It is a celebration. Cobra that Strikes will be gentle. You saw this moon how he cares.”

“Won’t doing this so soon be in bad taste. Aren’t we grieving?”

“
I am not
,” Venomous snapped.

Fiercely snorted.

Irritation flared. “I’ve told you it’s not a matter of knowing Cobra cares about me and will be gentle. It’s not the act itself, but the emotional implications of it.” I dragged a hand though my hair. “I’m exhausted. Can we do this tomorrow? Please?”

The males exchanged a speaking glance.

“No,” Venomous refused. “We do this now.”

“Has this upheaval not proven why you need the ceremony?” Fiercely demanded. “Had this been arranged, you would be considered Rä, not offworlder. That red-kneed animal would never have had the nerve to take you if you had listened to us cycles ago.”

Venomous went pasty at the vulgar insult, but uttered nothing in reproach.

I shoved a finger in Fiercely’s face. “Don’t talk about his mother that way. And if you’re so concerned about my safety, one of you should stay here with me, while people get used to me, or I’m ready to have the bonding ceremony.”

“You refuse to be reasonable?”

“It’s not reasonable for you to say I’m unreasonable because I need time to adjust to this new world I’m living in.”

“Lumen,” Venomous entreated, “please.” He cradled me to him. “You know there are important reasons this must be done.”

I shoved against him to get free.

Panic had my heart crashing. “I can’t.
I can’t
.”

“It will be fast,” he soothed. “We will bathe you and I will never be spoken of again. Cobra will not hurt you.”

“You’re not hearing me.” I ripped away from him. “When I was with Beowyn, all I could think about was getting home to you.” I looked at Fiercely. “To both of you. I made promises to myself that I’d try to be a better person for you both. That I’d try harder to accept your culture,, and what you need from me despite the cost.”

“Cost?” Fiercely scoffed. “We wish you to gain a protector and citizenship.”

“The cost is the abandonment of my personal pride! The disregard of what I hold sacred to pacify the whims of a people who have not taken a second to consider
my
way is in no way damaging or threatening to them or their way.”

Fiercely sighed. “Lumen–”

“Have you once considered doing this will make me so unhappy, it destroys what we’ve managed to build between us?”

Venomous stared for long moments; Fiercely responded with anger.

“We’re rebuilding trust between us, and this threatens to ruin it.”

“When have I ever damaged the trust between us?” Venomous demanded. “I have protected you. Given concession after concession. Brought you to my home world, proudly,
happily
. Each rotation, I walk into the Senate Quarter to face condemnation and insult to ensure
your
safety, as I vowed I would.”

My lips parted, yet I was shocked into silence. I rallied. “
I told you they wouldn’t accept me
.”

“They will be made to see. I will
make
them see.” He took an aggressive step. “Your accusation is untrue. I introduced you to my kindred without shame. Never have I done you harm!”

“
You raped me
.” The words exploded from me. With such volume even I jumped. “You forced me to.... You took away my choice. You are
still
taking away my choice.”

Venomous went tight all over.

Fiercely’s chest heaved.

His frantic gaze snapped between us in confusion, in fear and growing anger.

Shaking, I lifted my face skyward. “It happened. It was the single most terrifying, hurtful, most
degrading
experience
of my life
. It always will be. The male I care about, who did this to me, hasn’t apologised. He doesn't acknowledge he crushed my pride. He doesn’t spend time agonising over the offence he committed. Instead, he pushes me to again set aside my self-respect to meet a tradition that exists for his people alone. Because of a biological quirk I do not possess.” Swaying, I mumbled, “I cannot explain any plainer than that. I do not want to do this.” I met his gaze. “If you make me, I can’t stop you, but you will
break us
if you force me before I’m ready.”

Venomous’ hands shook. “I do not force you.”

“Not now. I love you now. The first time–”

“
There is no forcing
.”

Fiercely glanced at Venomous.

Watching the other male, he stood pale and stiff.

I said, “Venom, I need you to acknowledge what you did to me, and be sorry.”

“You are my Rä’Na.
Mine.
I did not need to speak to you to know this.” His face lifted and went cold. “I did not force you.”

“
Yes. You. Did.”

“You showed me how to make you wet.”

“I fought you. I showed you that to spare myself pain because you gave me no choice.
I fought you
.”

“
The female always fights
.” His arms lifted, hands fisted. “Always. You have seen this.” His gaze skittered. “I captured you the old way, but I did not....”

He ran out of words and stared.

“I keep telling myself, if you’d understood me, you would have stopped.” I shook my head. “Even Yofk showed me more respect. So did Beowyn.” Tears pooled in my eyes. “How can I get over it when I what feel doesn’t even matter
right now?
You know what it’s like to have no choice.” My tone turned bitter. “Whether it’s your culture or not, you did that to me, and you need to face it. How am I meant to be happy, when you keep taking away my right to choose? My freedom?”

I hit Fiercely with a glare.

“You too. You’ve made me too scared to enjoy what is supposed to be my home world. You condescend because I don’t know how things work here.” I flung my arm out. “Instead of helping me, you’ve locked me away. You expect me to act as if I’ve lived on Rök my whole life. When I do things wrong, you shame and scold me. You try to guilt me into treating you as you feel you should be treated rather than earning my love.”

Fiercely made a strangled noise.

He withdrew a step, angling his face away.

Venomous lunged to grip my face in two hands.

He rasped to the stars, “Grandfather, give me the words.” His gaze lowered, stark with hurt. “I needed you.” He rubbed his cheek to mine. “Terrifying. Hurtful.
Most degrading?
Your words are fearsome.” He shuddered. “If this is what you must feel, then feel it. To me that act is one I will never regret.
It gave me you
.” His voice quavered as his hand settled on my lower stomach. “It gave me both of you. Understand why I can never apologise for it. Each moment of our past brought us to now. I wouldn’t change the pain and risk the glory of our future.”

Kneeling behind me, Fiercely wrapped his arms around my middle then leaned his head on my upper back. “We will do better.”

Their strength surrounded me, supported me.

The apology offered wasn’t what I’d wanted.

It was, however, what I needed.

A flood of tears wet my face before I covered it with my hands.

I wept for what I’d lost, and all I’d gained.

Let it go, just let it go.

The desolation swept away as it hit me what the hurts of those early days bought me.

A family.

Love.

This is why Venomous would not repent.

He cradled me close, and led us inside our lair.

I leaned on him, my hand was enveloped in Fiercely’s warm palm.

As the lanced wound festering in my heart healed, the odd sad noise, or choked sob fell from my lips.

I could stay pissed, grow bitter and mean about their failures, and mine, or I could accept the past was past and move on.

Love them unconditionally.

Fiercely pulled on my arm, bringing us to a stop just past the threshold. “The lesser mating?”

My face crumpled, and I whimpered.

Venomous muttered, “As I a speak my deepest truths, I admit I do not want this.”

“
What?
” Fiercely hissed. “You leave what is ours vulnerable.”

My heart soared.

Is he saying....

Venomous rubbed his sloped forehead, the line between his brows deepening. “Lumen, it is wrong of me to wish this. To deny you the basic rights of protection as Rä’Na. As Rä.”

“Don’t care,” I said quickly.

“I do,” Fiercely snapped.

A muscle ticked in Venomous’ jaw. “As do I.”

“You
just
said you didn’t want it either,” I cried.

“Yesss, but I want you safe and protected.” He inhaled and his tense body uncoiled. “What I wish does not matter, only what keeps you safe does.”

The glimmer of hope shrivelled into a husk.

I could point out his mother had been dealt with, and I now had the time I needed, but that seemed cold. “When do you want the ceremony to happen?”

“In three moons,” Fiercely replied.

“I refuse to wait longer,” Venomous added.

We stood in a tight triangle.

They stared down at me as I struggled to think of a way to change their minds.

Slumping, I held their hands, my neck bowed. “Will you hold me? During.”

“A Rä’Na will guide you,” Fiercely murmured. “Do not worry all Rä females will forsake you. I received a message on the journey back from Cobra. She, Singing Water has offered.”

I mumbled, “Did she now?”

Covering her own ass, but whatever.

She had to live in fear with what she’d done, and the leverage I had on her guaranteed she’d tow the line.

I said, “I need
you
to be the ones who comfort me.”

“It is not done,” Venomous hedged.

“Since when does that stop you?”

Shoulders curling in, silent, Fiercely didn’t try to grasp for my favour as usual.

Apparently this wasn’t a task he wanted anything to do with.

Venomous’ breathing quickened. “You would suffer us close?”