Vengeance Born (The Light Blade #1) (20 page)

The experience of kissing someone scared her yet the pressure of Kalan’s mouth on hers, the warm slide of his tongue between her lips and the gentle strength of his hands tunneling through her hair made her feel… safe.

Annika broke the kiss and drew back, panting softly, and stared up at him. Desire had darkened his cheeks a ruddy hue, his lips were still wet from their kiss, but his smile was tender.

“Well?” he asked.

She shook her head, overwhelmed by potential of what accepting the truth of his earlier claim would mean. “This isn’t possible…”

Kalan’s gaze gleamed. “Then what just happened?”

“You know what I mean!” She scrambled to her feet. “This isn’t right.”

He rose but made no move to step closer. His arms folded across his chest. “If I’m willing to try and accept whatever’s happening between us, why can’t you?”

Any other time she’d have admired him for his blunt honesty but he seemed intent on ignoring the obvious. “Where can it possibly lead, Light Blade?”

“That’s something I’ll trust the
Lady
to reveal in
Her
own time.” His confidence was unwavering, his scent true. “Do you think I expected something like this to happen? I thought to spend all of my life serving
Her
and protecting my people. I never planned to be captured by the
Na’Reish
. My life changed the moment that happened. And only
She
knows the outcome of taking you back to Sacred Lake, but this is the Journey
She
’s chosen for me. For us. It’s clear
She
’s demanding that I adapt.”

“You make accepting
Her
plan for your life sound so easy!”

He barked a laugh and shook his head. “Accepting
Her
will has never been easy. Once you get to know who I am, you’ll realize that.” His smile turned rueful. “I’ve no doubt I’m going to face problems on this Journey. All I can do is trust that
She
will guide me in the decisions I make.”

Kalan doubted Annika realized just how much of her inner struggle was reflected on her face. Her skepticism and vulnerability would ease in time, especially given her faith in the
Lady
. She’d adjust, just as he had to do. Of the few times she’d shared snippets of her life with him, he knew she’d honed that skill to an incredible degree.

What made his chest ache was the fear he sensed behind those emotions. Dealing with derision and hatred wouldn’t be her greatest challenge as she entered his world. She’d spent a lifetime developing the strength to combat the rejection that came with being
Na’Chi
. Believing someone could accept her unconditionally would be her new journey. She wasn’t ready to face that yet.

“The decision to pursue the attraction we share is yours to make,” he promised her. Her tense stance eased. “But I’m here if you need me, Annika. You’re not alone.”

The sense of rightness that filled Kalan once he’d made that offer was reassuring but it was time to back off. He retreated to the other side of the fire and sat down.

He motioned to the carcass still roasting over the flames. “This looks ready to eat. Care to join me?”

He felt her scrutiny as he took the spit off the fire and divvied up the carcass. Returning to the fire, she accepted the portion he held out to her. Their meal passed in silence.

She tossed the bones into the flames, her expression pensive. “I’m sorry,” she murmured.

His gaze met hers over the flickering flames. “For what?”

“For doubting you again.” She wet her bottom lip. “I’m just not used to someone keeping their promise. The
Na’Reish
might have a code of honor but it never exists beyond their caste. So trusting isn’t something I do well.”

“I haven’t made it easy for you to trust me.” His conscience wouldn’t let her accept all the blame. Throwing the remnants of his meal into the fire, he leaned back on his hands, attentive, hoping his relaxed pose would encourage her to continue talking.

“Kalan, is the
Lady
’s
Chosen
a fair-minded man?”

He hid his grimace. Of all the topics he’d expected her to pick, this was not one he wanted to delve into. Not yet. But to ignore her request would damage the progress they’d made. Sending a swift prayer heavenward for guidance, he responded. “He tries to be.”

“Will he listen to what you have to say? Will I be allowed to speak?”

“He believes it’s important to know all the facts so he’ll listen to what everyone has to say.” A wry twist curved his lips. “Much to the Blade Council’s annoyance.”

“They don’t like him?”

He paused to pick up a twig. Snapping pieces off it, he threw them into the fire. “There’s always going to be some who disagree with the decisions or opinions of the
Lady
’s
Chosen
. Personalities get in the way. I believe that some of the Councilors are used to a different style of leadership. The
Lady
’s
Chosen
’s predecessor was a lot older and more… conservative and rigid in his style.”

Annika frowned. “This wasn’t a good thing for your people?”

“It depends on your point of view.” He leant forward. “The last
Lady
’s
Chosen
led for almost fifty years. When the new
Chosen
ascended we’d reached five hundred years of conflict with the
Na’Reish
. The times demanded a conservative leader. But it bred a form of elitism among the Light Blades. They and the Council lost sight of what our purpose was, that we were there to protect and serve everyone.”

“They didn’t do this?”

“At first they did but as our losses grew the decision was made for the Light Blades to withdraw from the outer areas of our territory in order to protect the provinces of the Councilors and Sacred Lake.”

Her eyes widened. “So, if you didn’t live in those areas you were unprotected?”

“Essentially, yes.” Here he grimaced. “It made the Blade Council very unpopular. When the current
Chosen
took over, he wanted to restore the reputation of the Light Blades. It hasn’t been easy and his more liberal attitude has often been in direct conflict with the older Councilors.”

“What has he done that they disagree with?”

“The Light Blades patrol all our territory now, even though our numbers are less than half of what they used to be fifty years ago. He visits the outlying villages to meet with leaders and talks with them about their concerns. He accepts everyone into the Light Blade academy regardless of what province they come from.”

“So, he’s made himself and the ranks of the Light Blades welcoming to everyone. Surely that’s a good thing if you need to increase the number of warriors protecting your territory?”

“It’s not easy balancing the politics and there are times he’s frustrated by the Council. Attitudes take time to change, but he has faith that the
Lady
will guide us all.”

She bit her lip. “Do you think he’ll grant me sanctuary?”

Uneasiness curled in Kalan’s gut. He really didn’t want to take the conversation in this direction. “Your arrival will herald change,” he said slowly, carefully. “Our history books and teachings tell us the
Na’Chi
are a myth. Your existence will challenge a lifetime of beliefs.”

She shivered but met his gaze head-on. “You haven’t answered my question.”

He rose and took his time creating their makeshift bed for the night. As much as he wanted to answer her question honestly, there were other factors to consider. Others to protect. The conversation had to end now.

“Granting you sanctuary should be discussed between him and the Blade Council. The ultimate decision is his but it helps if the Council agrees, too.” He banked the fire then crawled under the blanket. “We’ve a long day ahead of us. We should get some sleep.”

With that, he closed his eyes. In the silence that followed he could feel her confusion, her uncertainty. There wasn’t anything he could do to rectify it, not until they reached Sacred Lake.

Several minutes later, Annika joined him under the blanket. He heard her sigh softly. It was a long while before either of them managed to sleep.

Chapter 13

“A
NNIKA, we’re here. Look!”

Kalan’s soft call jerked Annika from the steady rhythm of placing one boot in front of the other. Exhaustion made her clumsy as she stumbled to a halt. It took a moment for his words to penetrate her tired mind.

Traveling from daybreak to early evening, pausing only for a meal, Kalan had expressed his desire to push on rather than make camp. Eager to see Sacred Lake, she’d agreed but had lost track of their progress somewhere between dusk and moonrise, succumbing to the exhaustion and the numbing cold of the night.

Blinking blearily, her last memory of their surroundings had been a thickly wooded forest on a hillside. Now she stood on a roadway that followed a river and wound its way across a bare plateau.

“Where are we?” She rubbed a hand over her face in an effort to wake up. The chill on the night breeze did a much better job as it fluttered the folds of her cloak, sneaking beneath it to stroke her skin. She shivered as Kalan gestured along the way. Peering past him, a soft gasp escaped her lips and adrenaline cleared the last of her tiredness away.

The moon was nearly full, heading for the jagged horizon of a mountain range. Its light shimmered off a large lake below the snow-capped peaks—but that wasn’t what caught her attention.

Sitting right on the lip of the narrow plateau, at the edge of the lake, nestled against the mountains was a huge city surrounded by a stone wall that seemed to glow in the moonlight. The road led straight to a set of massive double wooden gates. Like giant sentinels both the wall and gates stood almost five men tall, intimidating, awesome. This close they dominated the landscape.

A grin creased the weariness on Kalan’s face. “Welcome to Sacred Lake.”

Eyes wide, she barely glanced at him. “I’ve heard others talk about it but never envisaged this.”

Another shiver passed through her. Her mother had lived here; trained daily as a warrior, prayed in the temple, walked the city streets. Beyond the great gateway lay her identity and an uncertain future. Her dream.

A wave of longing hit her hard: to hear Hesia’s age-worn voice, for the small room she called her own inside her father’s chambers, for the scent of fresh herbs from her garden, for the feelings of peace and reassurance as she dried them, for her collection of bowls, bottles, and jars she used to store her remedies. She didn’t have much in the way of possessions or friends but she missed them all. Her throat tightened.

“Annika.” Kalan’s voice was a soft murmur, gentle. His hand stretched toward her.

I’m here if you need me. You’re not alone.
His words from the night before.

The need to feel the warmth of his touch ate at Annika like a ravenous animal. She tried to stay strong—she didn’t need his pity—but found herself reaching for his hand. She wrapped her fingers around his then let him slowly pull her in against his chest. He slid his free arm around her. The gentle action of cradling her against him cut straight to her heart.

She shuddered.
Mother of Mercy
, she didn’t know what scared her more—the incredible peace she felt cradled against his chest listening to the steady
thump, thump, thump
of his heart beneath her ear, or the pain of realizing she no longer had the strength to stand alone.

“You make me feel safe.” Her admission came out as a hoarse whisper. Kalan’s arm tightened around her. “I’m a fool for needing your comfort, your friendship.”

“Annika, you’re one of the most courageous people I’ve met.” She leaned closer to him, craving more of the sincerity she heard in his voice. “There’s nothing wrong with wanting, with feeling the way you do.”

Don’t believe him…

She squashed the voice of reason and inhaled a ragged breath. “It’d be a whole lot simpler if I could ignore it and not get tangled up with feelings. Too many times I’ve been human enough to hope someone would care enough not to hurt me.”

Inwardly she flinched. How many times had her father ridiculed her for that?

“We’re born alone and we die alone. In between we take as much as we can using our own strength and others to get it. Show them your feelings and you give them the power to cripple you.”
Kalan’s arm tightened around her as she recited her father’s words. “I was too human to meet
Na’Reish
standards and too
Na’Reish
for any human to want me near them.” Tears stung her eyes, fierce and hot. “How do I fight a lifetime of being taught that I’m worth nothing?”

Heat burned her cheeks as she kept her gaze downcast, bracing herself for his reaction, anticipating rejection.

Kalan grimaced at the hoarseness of her voice. It sounded like shards of glass shredding her throat. “Annika, you’re not worthless.” He heard her sharp intake of breath then she started to pull away from him. “Just listen to me a moment. Please.”