Velvet & steel (24 page)

Today is my wedding day
Lynette thought with a surge of pleasure. She snuggled deeper in the furs upon her bed. and considered all that had happened in just a matter of days.

What had appeared as a disaster a few short days ago. was going to turn into the most wonderful day of her life. Before she could consider her good fortune any further, the door opened and a young girl peered around it.

"Everyone is beginning to gather, and the priest has come. lady. Her Majesty asks if you will bathe and dress, and join her to break your fast."

"Aye." Lynette smiled and tossed aside the furs. "Bring me water."

The girl disappeared, and before long buckets of water were heated and being poured in the wooden tub that had been set near the newly revived tire.

Lynette bathed and smoothed sweet-scented oil upon her body, then dressed in the soft green velvet gunna she had brought for this occasion. She brushed her hair until it shone, then pulled it back from her face in a cluster of curls into which she twined the matching green velvet ribbons Royce had bought for her. She had never been more prepared ... or less prepared ... in her life.

She looked at herself in the mirror and knew she was a little afraid of Royce's tormented past. Silently she prayed, not to wash the memories from his mind, but to give her the power to make new and better ones that would bring Royce happiness.

Lynette joined Matilda for breakfast and was surprised that Matilda kept the conversation light and filled with amusing stories and laughter. Then she realized Matilda was trying to get her to relax. She was grateful, for the laughter did ease her nerves.

She was also surprised that Matilda had taken Cerise under her wing and found a good place for her to view the ceremony.

When Lynette came down the stairs with Matilda, she was met by admiring stares and murmurs. Her eyes flew across the room to rest on Royce, and she felt her breathing quicken. He wore a deeper green than she, and the color complemented the midnight of his hair and the gold of his eyes. Lynette was aware of no other in the room, even the king.

Near Royce stood the priest, and when Royce smiled, she started toward him... alone. She had missed her father terribly, but not as much as she did at this moment. Tears stung her eyes, and she was unaware of the knight who came to stand beside her until she turned and looked into Robert's understanding gaze.

He held his arm for her, and she had her hand upon it. Slowly he led her to Royce's side. The priest smiled at her, and Royce knelt in the clean rushes and gently drew her down beside him.

The words were spoken, and they sang through Lynette's mind. Her awareness of Royce close to her was exquisite. These words they spoke now would unite them forever.

The ceremony seemed to pass quickly and then they were being congratulated, teased, and in general made a great deal of, until her head swam. Cerise was thrilled with the brilliance of court, and the excitement and joy of the occasion. She realized she was being pampered, petted, and made much over. What she did not realize was that she was being so thoroughly entertained that she did not need to cling to Royce and Lynette.

Lynette was aware of Royce's molten gold gaze as he looked down into her eyes, and aware of very little else.

She was surprised that the wedding was so early, and even more surprised when Royce told her they would be leaving for Creganwald after the midday meal.

"But ... I thought ..." She blushed and heard his soft chuckle.

"That I would spend the night under this roof? Nay, my own men are problem enough, and God only knows what devilment they might consider. But we might be in for more than just devilment here, and I would have this night perfect."

She smiled up at him with a promising smile that could have, in his mind, melted the strongest armor he owned. She was his now, and nothing short of his death would take her from him.

The day dissolved in merriment, and Royce and Lynette were toasted, while their baggage was packed and loaded in carts. By mid-afternoon they were on their way.

Robert and the balance of Royce's men rode ahead. Robert had been told that Royce and Lynette would continue on to Creganwald at their own pace, until they found a place to make camp for the night. None of this pleased Robert much, for he felt Royce was leaving himself too unguarded.

"At least tell me where you will be, and when to expect you at Creganwald. Thus if you do not appear in time, I can set a search."

"Know you the inn at Wellby?"

"Aye, but it is not the fairest of places."

"It is now. The keeper has been given a round sum of money to see to the cleaning of the place, and that no other travelers find shelter there. We will have the place to ourselves."

"You have been busy."

"Aye." Royce's brows drew together in a frown. "I do not feel safe here, and I would not distress Lynette with the possibility that trouble could come on such a night."

"Think you that Tearlach would choose this place, with the king here, to cause harm?"

"What better place, if he can accomplish it without suspicion falling on him?"

"Aye ... and if he sends men to follow, we are to make it appear that you still travel with us."

"That is my plan."

***

Royce and Lynette traveled slowly, enjoying the ride and being together with no demands upon their time. It was a while before Lynette noticed that Royce was deep in thought.

"Royce, something weighs heavily upon your mind?"

"Aye, I have something of great importance to discuss with you. As soon as we arrive at the inn, we must talk."

"Something is wrong?"

"Nay, nothing is wrong. It is only something we must settle between the two of us."

Lynette breathed a sigh of relief. Nothing they could settle between the two of them was cause for worry. She was willing to agree to just about anything Royce wanted. She continued the journey in silence, while Royce searched for the right words to make her understand what must be.

The inn was clean and the proprietor beside himself with the pleasure of welcoming this knight and his lady, a knight who had paid and paid well for the exclusive use of his inn. The innkeeper and his wife swore they would be at Royce's disposal at any time.

"Has the food been prepared?" Royce asked first.

"Aye, lord. It is ready and prepared as you have asked. I have made the room ready and we will serve you whenever you wish."

"Come, Lynette, let us wash the dust of the road from us and enjoy a good supper."

They were led to a room that was both large and clean. Water was brought, and they both were relieved to wash the evidence of travel from them.

They had gone farther than Lynette had imagined they would, and she was a bit tired. When a knock came upon the door, and Royce swung it wide, a table was carried in, and soon it was laden with food. Lynette suppressed her laughter until the innkeeper left.

"Royce, the two of us could eat for a week on this much food."

"I only asked for generous portions"—Royce shook his head in surprise—"not for all the food left in the inn."

"Let us eat. Then perhaps you can tell me what has been plaguing you all day."

They sat across from each other and ate their meal, while the dying sun bathed the room in a haze of pale gold light. The fire had been lit and was burning low, so Royce rose and renewed it to keep the room warm. He returned to the table, but she could see that he had lost his interest in the food.

"Royce ... is it Creganwald that causes you to be so thoughtful? Do you feel there will be problems there? I assure you, that is not so. My people will take you as their own. Their loyalty will be yours."

"It is not Creganwald that worries me."

"Then what makes you so quiet and thoughtful?" She rose and came around the table and sat on his lap to loop her arms about his neck. "It is not doubt of me, is it? If that thought is in your head, bid it be gone. I love you, Royce, more than I thought it possible to love anyone."

Finding her warmth in his lap and her soft arms around his neck did not make what he meant to say any easier for Royce. He could feel his body's reaction, and knew that her touch was enough to set him afire. How was he to concentrate when her close proximity was already playing havoc with his senses?

"Lynette... listen carefully to what I say." He took her arms from about his neck and held both her hands in his. "You know that I love you, I would give my life for you if it were needed... but ... I cannot take yours. In that way I am as much a coward as the worst of cowards."

"I do not understand. It is no longer a thing to consider."

"But it is. There is something I have decided, and on this one thing I will have my way. You must consult a midwife. You will heed my words and their advice... . There will be no children."

Lynette was so shocked that for a minute she could only look at him in stunned silence. "No children? But, Royce..."

"Nay, Lynette, don't argue. It is a thing that we must agree on. Don't you see, love?"

"Aye," Lynette said softly, "I can see." And she did see. He would make their marriage an empty shell before they would even have time to make it perfect. "I see that you think only of yourself. That you are afraid. That you would cheat me of children. What kind of wife will I be, Royce? What kind of woman? Half of one, unable to bring you and Creganwald an heir. ... I am to be denied something I desire with all my heart because you will not let it be?"

Royce released Lynette and rose from the chair, then walked to the window. She followed him, looking at the rigid breadth of his back and considering what she could say to turn his mind from this idea.

"Royce... please look at me, talk to me. Let us decide this matter together."

He turned to face her. "On nothing else will I say you nay. Nothing but this. I cannot allow something that might take you from my life. I cannot... I will not."

"Did you wed me just to have Creganwald?"

"Nay!"

"Why, then? It was not out of love. If you loved me, you would not ask such a thing."

"Lynette .. . understand."

"Nay, there is no understanding. I will not be cheated and I will not be sacrificed to your fear. Allow me to be a wife ... or let me go."

Royce could not believe his ears. He reached out and took Lynette by the shoulders in a grip of iron. She had to be convinced both that what he thought was for her good, and that his love for her was complete. At that moment it flowed through him as rich and powerful as old wine.

"Don't you know that I do this for you? It is only a matter of drinking a potion that will insure your flux every month. It is nothing to interfere with us."

"Nothing to interfere with us? You would have me barren, the subject of pity, never to know a child's love? Has Cerise's love not come to mean more to you than that?"

"Aye, it has come to mean a great deal, but she has already lost one mother! I would cheat her again ... and I will lose you?"

"But you cannot be sure of that. I am a different woman. I will not be punished because you choose to punish yourself! If you love me, and if I mean more to you than Creganwald, then you will not ask that of me."

She had to convince him, and the only way to reach him was through his love for her and his honor. She knew he did not want only Creganwald. She could feel the force of his love for her, but it would never bloom, nor would it last if she could not convince him she would not die as Sybella had died.

"You know that you mean all to me, Lynette," he said quietly.

"I only know what your words say. What does your heart say, Royce? Tell me true, do you not want sons of your loins? Have you not looked into Cerise's eyes and seen a love that makes it all worthwhile? I would not be happy if you held this fear always. Can you not put it away now?" Her voice grew gentle. Instead of trying to back away from him and break his hold, she moved into his arms. "Can my love and my certainty that all will be well be enough for you?" He drew her so tightly to him that she could hardly get her breath. "If you were called by William and had to go to battle, do you not think my fear would be the same torment? Would you say nay to William and hold yourself within Creganwald's walls, all because I fear your death?"

"That is a different thing. A man must go to battle."

"Aye, and a woman must fight her battles as well. ... It is the way the good Lord created us. Each of us must have courage to let the other face what must be faced. It can only draw us closer together... bind our love more firmly. You have never shared your fears, so you think you are the only one to hold them. When you fought Beltane, I thought I might die. But I watched, and I was as frightened as it was possible to be. My love gave me faith ... let your love do the same for me."

"This is how you felt when I fought Beltane?" He inhaled a ragged sigh. "How can it be borne? I am wondering if you do not have more courage than I."

"Nay, I have no more courage than any other. I have as much love as you, and that is what will see us through whatever we have to face." Lynette laid her head against his chest and clung to him, for the next words were going to be hard to say. "I cannot bear a marriage that is cold and ungiving. I know that the king's will is for you to hold Creganwald. But I cannot bear this half marriage and the thought that our love will have no fruit, no children to warm our late years. I must have all of you, Royce ... or I want none at all."

Royce held her a little from him and looked intently into her eyes. He could see clearly that she meant exactly what she said.

"I love you, Lynette. You know that is the truth."

"Aye, I know. And I love you. I would give you the freedom to be and do whatever makes you complete and strong. I ask the same of you." Her voice was quiet, but the words were firm.

"I am afraid," he whispered. Then he drew her back into his arms, and his mouth found hers in a deep and seeking kiss.

The kiss grew until it seemed to melt her very bones, leaving her weak and at the mercy of the curling heat that Royce could always create with a touch.

Catching her face between his hands, he held her while he took her kiss deeper and deeper, parting her lips and slipping his tongue between them to find that sweet remembered taste. The sensual penetration brought a moan of combined pleasure and surrender from her, and she began to seek him as fiercely as he was seeking her.

She had only time to utter a gasp as he released her mouth and swung her up into his arms in one smooth movement.

When he carried her to the bed, she was already trying to loosen his shirt, and when he set her down near the bed he began to help. Soon they tumbled to the bed, heated body pressed to heated body.

She wanted him passionately, but he held the passion in check. He went slowly ... so slowly that she could hardly bear it. He caressed her fevered flesh and sought with gentle hands the moist heat between her thighs. At the stroking of his fingers, she thought she would go mad. She ached to feel him within her, filling that pulsing place and carrying her to delicious completion.

But Royce intended to hold this sweet fire for as long as he could. He slowed his caresses and again assaulted her mouth with tender, soft kisses, letting them drift to her throat and the softer flesh of her breasts.

He loved the way she called his name and met him touch for touch. The thrill of it nearly sent him over the edge, and finally he could cling to reality no longer. He groaned his pleasure as he sheathed himself deep within her, and felt her response as she tightened about him and lifted to meet him.

Now there was nothing but the magic that exploded between them. They fanned the flame of their passion and rose with it to a shuddering fulfillment. It left them without words or the ability to speak. They held each other until the pace of their heartbeats slowed. Then Royce bent his head and kissed her tear-stained eyes, then her cheeks, and finally her soft mouth.

"Ah, Lynette," he whispered, "Lynette, how I love you."

She held him cradled in the soft curves of her body and knew a contentment that warmed her heart, and gave her a vision of tomorrow and all the tomorrows to come.

When Lynette finally slept, Royce lay awake, holding her and fighting his fears. He understood all she'd said, but past visions interfered. His arm tightened about her at the thought that fate could take her from him. She sighed softly in her sleep and nestled closer to him.

He knew that no matter what she said and how right she might be, he could not stand the thought of her bearing a child. He would rather face all his worst enemies unarmed than to have her taken from him.

Still, he knew another thing. She would not stay with him if he forced her to obey his rules ... and he could not let her go. Feeling her lying close to him filled all the emptiness he had ever known.

He remained awake, and in the small hours of the morning she wakened again, and the night blossomed with their soft, slow, wonderful loving.

When they arrived at Creganwald, both Royce and Lynette were warmly welcomed. Robert fairly beamed upon them, for he could see that something new flourished between them. The entire household seemed to come to life. Lynette and Royce renewed their bonds with Cerise, who seemed to blossom before their eyes. Royce knew quite well that Cerise loved Lynette as a child loved her mother, and that Lynette felt a mother's love for the little girl.

But Lynette could still read the shadow of fear in Royce's eyes. As one month followed another, she learned his heart. Each time her monthly flow came, he seemed to breathe a sigh of relief, and for several days after was reluctant to touch her.

But he would come to her for the simple reason that he felt empty without her, and could not resist the touch of her and the joy of holding her.

Spring came on the land suddenly. Trees blossomed and green shoots came up from the earth. It brought with it a soft breeze from the ocean, and a renewal of Royce's building plans.

Summer found the new walls of Creganwald castle growing. Under Royce's hand the land seemed to yield and prosper. A sense of lightness filled everyone, and slowly ... slowly, guards were lowered.

Royce and Lynette would ride out to see to the serfs who farmed the land, and to settle disagreements and any other problems. It became common to see them together. All who lived on Creganwald land knew that the lord and lady were of one mind and one goal: the good of Creganwald and all its people.

The castle rose majestically, set on a solid mound which had previously borne a wooden building. The advantages of such construction were mainly military; there were no corners for attackers to pick away at or undermine, and no "blind spots" which defenders could not cover.

It had three spacious floors, a chapel and a number of smaller rooms in the turrets. The castle was set up to guard against the king's enemies from across the water, as well as those within the country.

Royce could be seen daily, working with the laborers, going over his carefully drawn plans, and listening to anyone who had a suggestion that might make the castle more defensible or stronger.

Lynette had been teaching Cerise to ride the pony Royce had gotten for her. She was well aware that Royce, though it did not seem so, kept close watch on her every move, and provided guards when she and Cerise rode out.

Lynette heard Royce's laughter, felt him relax with her, slowly felt him put the past away. Soon, she thought, soon.

Giles was puzzled that Oriel did not return to Creganwald. Since their parents' deaths, he had been her supporter. He hoped that she had put aside her dreams of Royce and would return soon. He missed her, and prayed she would find a knight to her liking and marry. There was more than enough room at Creganwald now that the castle was nearing completion.

He and Robert rode out early one morning to hunt. Work on the castle's exterior was nearing completion, and Lynette was occupied both with the orders for the making of furniture and seeing to Cerise. Royce was overseeing the building, so Giles and Robert were alone.

"I cannot wait for the castle to be finished," Giles said.

"I suspect there will be a large celebration when it is done," Robert agreed. He, too, had relaxed and had begun to enjoy every day.

"Do you think William will come?"

"Nay, he has more to do than to see to one lord and his lands. Besides, he knows Royce will have built something worthwhile, and will have trust in its defenses."

"I could defend this place against an army if need be."

"That is its purpose."

"You think someone will try to take it?"

"Nay, if I had feared anything, it would have been an enemy within. But Beltane has no chance of using treachery here, and Tearlach ... he will be given no opportunity."

"Treachery from within," Giles mused. "There are none who have not come to love Lynette as they do Royce. I would see heirs for Creganwald and know it safe for the foreseeable future."

"Aye," Robert said thoughtfully. He knew that Royce and Lynette were happy with each other, but he had begun to worry that there would be no heirs forthcoming. It was not unknown for a woman to be barren, and in such circumstances a knight could take another wife... Still, he knew this turn of events might just make Royce happy.

"Robert!" Robert looked at Giles in surprise, drawn from his thoughts suddenly. "Creganwald is to have its first guests."

Robert followed Giles's gaze, and saw the line of travelers in the distance.

"What banner do they fly?"

"I cannot tell from here. Do you think it a good idea to ride swiftly to Creganwald and tell Royce to be prepared?"

"Aye, you ride back. I will ride to meet them."

Robert was not easily shaken, but he had a strange feeling that these visitors did not bode well for Royce. He rode toward them.

After traveling some distance he reined in his horse in surprise. Beltane! He would recognize the banners anywhere. What would Beltane want here? There was only one thing he might achieve ... his death.

Yet he rode with confidence and in the open, as if he feared nothing and no one. There was a mystery here, and Robert intended to get to the bottom of it before it led to something tragic.