Vegas Heat (41 page)

“Ash, speaking of savings, we need to make a decision about all the stuff that was in your mother’s safe. What do you want me to do with it?”

“Fanny, I don’t give a good rat’s ass what you do with it. Mom left it to you.”

“It belongs to you and your brother.”

“I don’t want it. I sure as hell hope you aren’t planning on giving it to him. You need to think ahead. Simon has no children, so unless he has some kind of airtight will, it will come back to our kids. He’s got more money than he can spend in three lifetimes. Just keep it.”

“I don’t want it, Ash. I’m not feeling very kindly toward your mother’s memory these days.”

“You said there’s a waiting list at the rehab center. Use it to add on or build another one.”

“You wouldn’t mind?”

“Hell no. Sunny’s doing great. We went out to see her yesterday. I wanted to say good-bye. I think she’s happier than I’ve ever seen her. We talked about the adoption. She cried, but she knows it’s best. Sage and Iris will make sure the kids know she’s their mother. It’s going to work out, Fanny.”

“I’m so glad you planted that first seed, Ash.”

“You know, huh?”

“Of course I know.”

“Then you know I don’t want her to see me again until ... it’s over.”

“Shut up, Ash, I don’t want to talk about
that.”

“We have to talk about it.”

“No, we don’t. I’m here to take care of you. We aren’t going to ... dwell ... talk about things. We’ll pack each day with wonderful things.”

“You know, Fanny, you’re wonderful. You truly are. What wonderful things are you talking about? Once I start on those pills, it will be all I can do not to jump out of my skin. I’m going to turn mean and nasty because the pain will be unbearable. You’ll wish you never signed on for this gig.”

“I’m prepared, Ash.”

“I think you are. I’m not. Therein lies the difference.”

“I want you to remember one thing, Ash. God will never give you more than you can handle.”

“Words are so easy to say, aren’t they? They just roll off a person’s lips and people react to those words. Stop the car for a minute, Fanny. Do you see that blue sky, those snowball clouds, those fragrant pine trees? I’m never going to see them again. I’m never going to ride up and down this mountain again. I’m not going to be able to take Jake fishing. All the things you do every single day of your life and take for granted will be gone for me. I won’t be here. My heart will cease to beat. This chair will sit empty in the garage. I won’t be able to count the stars with Jake. Most of all, Fanny, I won’t be able to spit and snarl at you. I want so damn much to be able to leave this earth a man, so that when you think of me you’ll have kind thoughts. I’m sorry for everything. At this point in time I know it probably doesn’t mean anything. What it means to me is I finally got the guts to say it out loud. If it wasn’t for you, Fanny, I’d probably be in a ditch somewhere. I owe everything to you. I didn’t know that for a long time. It’s eating at my soul, Fanny. I want to be what you want me to be, and I don’t know how. I don’t know how, Fanny.”

Fanny climbed from her seat and dropped to her knees. She wrapped her arms around Ash. “Let’s both cry now and get it over with. I just want you to be who you are. I don’t care how you spit and snarl. I’ll spit and snarl back. When the pain is bad, Ash, I’ll give you enough pills to ease it. I know you have a stockpile. You will always be in my thoughts no matter where you are. You were right, there’s a bond between us that can never be severed. I don’t want you to worry about being a man now at this particular time. You came through when no one else cared enough or ... You know what I’m saying. None of us will let Jake forget you. You’ll always be a part of his life. I promise you that, Ash. Will you trust me with these last days of your life?”

They cried together, their arms entwined, their bodies shaking with their grief for each other. It was Ash who finally said, “Enough already. Let’s get this show on the road. Jake will be up in a couple of hours. I want to get settled in. We’re going fishing. Want to come along, Fanny?”

“I’d love to go. Should I pack up a picnic lunch?”

“Potato chips, Popsicles, gumdrops, and mallow cups.”

“Ash Thornton! Is that what you give him for a snack?”

“Nah, that’s the bait. Chue gives us homemade egg rolls and fortune cookies. You don’t know the first thing about fishing, Fanny. Gumdrops are great bait when there’s any left.”

Fanny laughed.

“God Almighty! You really did do it, Fanny,” Ash said thirty minutes later when she steered the van up the driveway. “It’s perfect! It looks like it’s been sitting here for hundreds of years. Too bad Simon can’t see this. He’d piss his jockies.”

“Wait till you see the inside. The furniture’s the same, it’s just not battered and worn. The elevator is a little bigger. The refrigerator is one of those super duper jobs that makes ice cubes. I got us one of those big screen television sets and the satellite dish brings in more channels than before. We get wonderful reception now. I had the men toss that ugly monster safe over the mountain.”

“No shit! Bet that was a feat in itself. It’s amazing. You’d never know there was a fire. You kept your promise, Fanny. I knew you would.”

“How did you know, Ash?”

“Fanny Thornton always keeps her word. Is thanks sufficient?”

“It’s sufficient. What do you want to see first?”

“Three green pills. Not one, not two, three. A shot of brandy to wash it down.”

“Coming right up.”

It took a full twenty minutes for the tightness to leave Ash’s face. Fanny used the time to brew a pot of coffee and to carry the bags from the van inside. Ash still had the black canvas bag on his lap.

“Let’s do the tour, Fanny.”

“Yes, sir,” Fanny said, saluting smartly. “Let me load the bags in the elevator first. I’ll unpack your stuff as you make the rounds on the second floor.”

She found him in the schoolroom, his eyes wet, his shoulders slumped. “I feel like this is where it all started. I actually feel it, Fanny. I wish I had the words to tell you how much I loved my mother and how I missed her when she died. My father, too. I didn’t know how to handle it then, and I don’t know how to handle it now.”

“Let your emotions go, Ash. Say whatever you want. If there are no words, don’t worry about it. If you want to cry, cry. Whatever you want to do is all right.”

“I have a list. I keep it in my pocket at all times. A pencil, too. I’m taking it with me when I go.”

“A list is good,” Fanny said. “I’m going to get your room ready and hang up your clothes. You have time for a nap before Jake gets here if you want.”

“I don’t want to waste the pills. I’m feeling halfway decent now. I’ll just sit here for a while.”

Fanny busied herself first in Ash’s room and then in her own room. She waited a full hour before she called out to Ash. “I’m ready to go downstairs. How about you?”

“Me too. Let’s have some more coffee in the garden.”

It was a companionable silence broken only by the sound of Iris’s horn as she parked the car behind the van. Jake whooped his way to the backyard, shouting at the top of his lungs, “Pop Pop, I’m here. Let’s go fishing!”

They all went fishing. Fanny said later that it was one of the nicest days of her life.

When it was time to go, Jake crawled on his grandfather’s lap to smother him with hugs and kisses.

“I’ll bring him up every morning until . . . and Sage will come up to get him around three,” Iris said. “Ash won’t be able to keep this up much longer.”

“I know. I appreciate it, Iris. If it looks like it might be a bad day, I’ll call you in the morning.”

“If there’s anything you want ... if there’s anything I can do ... call me.”

“Of course.”

Three weeks to the day of Ash and Fanny’s arrival at Sunrise, Ash took to his bed.

Two more days passed, with Ash slipping in and out of consciousness. The third day he woke, completely alert. “Fanny, I want to ask a favor of you.”

“I know, you want me to talk dirty to you,” she teased.

“Okay, but do me the favor first. Will you promise before I ask it?”

“Sure, Ash. You’re making this sound so mysterious.”

“I want you to call Simon and ask him to come up here. I know I don’t have long so will you do it?”

“If that’s what you want, Ash, of course I’ll do it. I’ll have to go through his attorney. I don’t even know where he lives.”

“Try, okay? Will you have the cook bring me some coffee?”

“Tea would be better, Ash.”

“Coffee, Fanny.”

“Coffee it is. My address book is in the kitchen. I’ll make the calls from down there. Are you all right?”

“No, Fanny, I’m not.”

“John Noble is coming up this morning.”

“He shouldn’t waste his time. Go, Fanny.”

Her heart pounding, Fanny ran down the steps. “Take some coffee up to Mr. Thornton.”

Fanny used up forty minutes until she heard Simon’s voice on the other end of the wire. “Simon, it’s Fanny. Ash wants you to come to Sunrise. I think he wants to make arrangements about Babylon where you’re concerned,” Fanny lied. “Can you leave now? I don’t think he has much time.”

“Really.”

“Is that a yes or a no?”

“I’ll have to think about it.”

“I wouldn’t think too long, Simon. The offer is only good as long as Ash is alive.”

“What will we all do without Ash in our lives?”

“I don’t know about you, Simon, but I’ll grieve. What should I tell Ash?”

“Tell him I’m on my way.”

“Thank you, Simon.”

Fanny ran upstairs. “He said he’s coming, Ash. Who knows if he’ll actually show up. I lied to him, said you wanted to talk to him about Babylon. How was the coffee?”

“It wasn’t a lie, Fanny. I do want to talk to him about Babylon. I spilled the coffee on the rug. I couldn’t hold the cup.”

“It doesn’t matter, Ash. Stuff like that isn’t important.” Fanny stared at the gaunt-eyed man who had once been her husband. If there were a way to breathe her own life into his wasted body, she wouldn’t think twice. She knew he was nearing the end, and he knew she was aware of the little time he had left.

Ash struggled for words. “I want to be cremated, Fanny.”

“I know, Ash. Please, don’t talk, save your strength. I’ll keep telling you what time it is, so don’t worry about that. Do you want to hold the clock?”

“No. There seems to be some kind of film over my right eye.”

“It’s a cataract.”

“You aren’t going to call everyone, are you? Will you let me die in peace?”

“Absolutely.”

“Is he here yet?”

“Soon, Ash. I’ll read yesterday’s paper to you if you like. Maybe hearing my voice will help you stay awake.”

“Read.”

Fanny read for thirty minutes. She heard Daisy bark downstairs and knew what the bark meant: Simon Thornton had arrived.

“I think he’s here, Ash. Are you sure you want to do this?” She was alarmed at his ashen skin and the perspiration dotting his brow. She knew if she touched his hands or face, they’d be cold and clammy.

“Fanny, can you prop me up just a little or else get me a few more pillows?”

Fanny struggled, her own forehead beading with sweat at the effort she expended to get Ash into a more upright position. She understood perfectly that Ash didn’t want to be flat on his back with his brother towering over him.

Simon was debonair and arrogant when he walked up the steps ahead of Fanny. “Aren’t you going to say anything about the house, Simon?”

“What is there to say? Did you do something different?”

“Yes, something,” Fanny snarled.

“Ash, how’s the world treating you. Not too good by the way you look.”

“Fanny, close the door,” Ash said.

“But, Ash ...”

“Close the door, Fanny.”

“I’ll be right outside.”

“Simon, stand at the bottom of the bed, right in the middle so I can see you. Among other things I have a cataract.”

Simon moved to the foot of the bed. “So what made you change your mind? Guess you figured you were going to be seeing Mom and Dad and you wanted them to know you did the right thing, huh?”

“Yes. I’m going to do the right thing.”

“You look like you plan on taking my picture. Wouldn’t that be something if you did and you took it with you to show Mom.”

“Why don’t you smile, Simon? I’d like to remember that smile of yours when I move into eternity.”

Ash’s hands moved under the cover. The moment Simon threw his head back in laughter, Ash pulled the trigger of the gun he’d brought with him from town. Simon crumpled to the floor as Fanny rushed through the door.

“Ash! Oh my God!”

“Did I kill the son of a bitch?”

Fanny leaned down to feel for a pulse. Simon’s wide-open eyes glared at her. She wanted to close the lids, but she couldn’t make her hands move.

“He’s dead, Ash. Why? Why did you do that?”

Ash grappled with his breathing. “For you, Fanny. He would never give you a moment’s peace. In the end he’d do something terrible to you. I’m dying so it doesn’t matter. He wanted to be first in everything. He’ll get there before me. I gave him an edge, Fanny.”

“Oh, Ash.”

“You promised not to cry.”

“I lied.” She reached for his hands and held them tight. She tried not to look at the hole in the bedspread.

“You’ll be okay now, Fanny. It was all I could do for you. Mom’s going to be pretty mad.”

“I don’t think so. The day before we came up here Sallie and I had a confrontation. I won. It’s going to be ... it’s going to be ... okay when you get there. I promise, Ash.”

“I can see her. Look. There’s Pop behind her, and Devin. Where’s my list, Fanny? I need my list. Quick, get it for me.”

“Where is it, Ash?”

“Find it. I need the list.”

Fanny stepped over her husband’s body as she searched for the clothes Ash had worn last.

“Mom’s holding out her hand, Fanny. She wants the
list.”

“I have it! I found it, Ash!” She crumpled it into his hand. She heard him sigh with relief as she held his right hand.

“Let go, Fanny.”

“No. No. I don’t want you to go, Ash.” She held his hand tighter.