Vanished Without A Trace (3 page)

Daniel's routine expandedin the fourth grade when Neta arrived at the boarding school. He saw her for the first time two months after school had started, as he passed by her near the dining room. She was sitting on the grass near the sidewalk, her hands wrapped around her knees. Brown-skinned, with expressive hazel eyes full of undeniable sadness that never seemed to leave them. A pointy chin, but full of softness, her upper lip was a bit thicker than the lower one, which gave her a constant smile. Curly hair, but disorganized, that made her look less beautiful than she really was. She looked pretty sad and detached from her environment. Daniel was reminded of his first day at the boarding school, and his difficulty in those times, on one side was the thought of being separated from his mother and on the other side was the struggle to find an alternative place to the home he lost. He wondered what was behind the story of this girl, what brought her to this place and what was going on with her now. He entered the dining room with excitement. The girl's appearance gave him a sense of happiness. He finished his meal quickly, and was happy to find her still sitting in the same place, and even in the same position. He discovered she was doing it almost daily. He tried to talk to her classmates and asked them about her, but was surprised to find out no one liked her because she was distant and she couldn’t get along with other students.

One time he got up the courage to approach her. "Are you waiting for someone?"

She looked at him, her face full of tears. "I'm waiting for my aunt. She promised to come visit me."

"When is she supposed to arrive?" He asked with curiosity.

He wanted to know what made her sit every day and wait for her aunt, who apparently didn’t arrive. He never saw her with her aunt.

Neta put her hands around her knees. "She said that if she could find time, she would come on Monday or Tuesday, so I'm waiting for her on Mondays and Tuesdays."

"I think you should come and join us, and if she arrives, she will find you or will look for friends who can call you. There's not much room in here for you to get lost," he tried to make her laugh.

Neta continued to sit and didn’t bother to answer him.

"Then it would be fun if I keep you company and we wait together." He continued his attempts to talk to her.

Neta shrugged her shoulders as a sign she didn’t care.

Finally, when Daniel met Neta's aunt, he admitted to himself she was very nice. She always surprised Neta with her visits. Her closeness with her aunt pushed her away from her friends. Daniel thought Neta’s situation was one of the best among others in the boarding school. Although her parents were disabled due to injury, she still had a fairly supportive aunt. She always gave her a large supply of candies and money, though there was nowhere to spend it except a small kiosk donated by a large food manufacturer, where sweets were sold to the children at a very affordable price. Daniel wondered why her aunt was not willing to raise her at home. But he was happy for that.

A year later, Neta was still pretty detached from most of the boarding school, but her relationship with Daniel grew stronger. They would often sit on the grass and play cards. Over time, they found themselves sharing their life stories. Daniel told Neta about his mother, who went to America and left him all alone in this world. Because of that, he opened his heart to her. Neta, in return, felt free to share with him the beautiful memories of the life she used to have, until the day when she was informed her parents were seriously injured in a car accident leaving them with mental disabilities. "They talk, walk and cook together. But they were suffered serious brain injuries, which led to mental disorders that expressed in their nervous behavior. They are no longer like they were before," she wiped the tears falling down her face. Daniel looked at her, and saw the pain and the suffering she was going through.

"Do you have brothers?"

Neta pulled out the grass she sat on. It was clear the question had caused her pain. It took her a while to answer. "I have two brothers, one is three years old and the other is in the first grade. I haven’t seen them in the last few months. I miss them. Before the accident, on Saturdays, we used to travel with our parents everywhere. Now, they don’t seem to be my brothers anymore. My little brother doesn’t even know me." Tears fell down her cheek. "They are living with another family."

"How about you?" Daniel asked, "Why don’t they adopt you as well?"

Neta paused a bit. "They said I am too old. They don’t want to adopt older kids. The Department of Social Welfare tried to find a family for me, but no one wants me.

"Are you mad at your parents?"

"Yes."

"I’m mad at my mother too. I really don’t know what happened to her and why she simply disappeared. When I was small, I used to look at the picture beside my bed and often asked for her forgiveness. I thought she left because I was not good enough. I prayed so hard every day, and promised to be the best little boy in the world, but she never came back. I have been through lots of sleepless nights. I cried a lot…I was so mad at her." He frowned, but then he added with a smile. "But I am better now. I am used to it."

"Are you still mad at her?" Neta asked.

"A bit."

"Me too, just a little bit. Everybody has normal parents except me. I have disabled parents I can’t even talk to about things, and because of them I needed to stay in this stinky hole I am in now."

Daniel was silent. He didn’t understand what was so special about Neta that made him so attracted that he wanted to stay with her rather than any other girl in the boarding school. But he knew the day Neta arrived at the boarding school, things became more interesting. She became the closest person to him. He used to visit Solomon on holidays, but ever since he came to know Netas’ aunt, he was always invited to spend Saturdays and holidays with them. He and Neta became close friends until the end of the sixth grade.

4

The graduation ceremony and the farewell party was about to begin. The atmosphere was grooving and pleasant. At the entrance of the campus, were a few candles placed inside brown bags. The ground was lit with colored lights and the tables were decorated with gold-embroidered maps. Foods donated by some large food companies were arranged on the table with a design that would shame a five star hotel. The first guests who arrived early that evening were stunned and amazed by the abundance of the food being served on the tables.

A few days before the party, when invitations were sent to the families of the students, Daniel recalled his visit to his grandfather’s office with his mother. Daniel was having second thoughts about whether it was time to call his grandfather and ask him to attend the graduation ceremony. He knocked at the open door of Solomon’s office. "Yes, Daniel?"

Daniel sat in front of him. "I thought of calling my grandfather to invite him to the graduation ceremony."

"I think it's a great idea," Solomon said, handing him the phone.

"No, not now, I'm a little scared he won’t recognize me, I don’t know ..."

"You will never know if you will not try."

Mixed emotions of concern accompanied by hope wrapped him up when he dialed the operator and asked for the home number of Kowalski Moshe. His hands were shaking as he wrote down the phone number. He didn’t know if the shaking was caused by his nervousness or the excitement to meet his grandfather – a family relative.

"Hello, Hello?" It was a woman’s voice on the line, but he was tongue-tied. He hung up the phone, and after ten seconds, he found the courage to try calling again, hoping this time he would be able to talk. "May I speak to Moshe?" He found himself murmuring.

"Moshe is not around. Who wants him?" The woman's voice was impatient.

"Do you know where I might be able to contact him?" He asked weakly.

"He's not in the country. Who are you?"

Daniel wondered a little bit if she was his grandmother, and then hung up the phone. He was upset he called too late and couldn’t invite his grandfather.

"What happened?" Solomon asked.

"He's abroad."

Solomon sadly stared at Daniel. "Never mind, he will still be your grandfather even after the party. Try it some other time."

He looked at Daniel's disappointed face. There were a few times when he heard Daniel telling his friends that Kowalski was his grandfather. There was even one time he heard him telling them about his visit to his grandfather’s office with his mother, and that was the first time Solomon believed in Daniel’s story.

Daniel stood on the stage with his friends who performed with enthusiasm the roles they had been working on for three months in the show. He did not find anything exciting about playing his role for strangers who watched, with joyful smiles on their faces that were not intended for him. He was not the child of anyone in the audience. No one would come and pick him up to bring him home. He would be forced to remain at the boarding school until the next school year. Among the spectators of the show, he noticed Neta's aunt; a reminder he would not see Neta in the next school year. She would be moving to another city with her aunt - a reminder he would from then on be alone. It was not enough he failed to start a new connection with his grandfather, but he was also losing the single most significant relationship he had.

During summer vacation, he visited Neta’s aunt a couple of times. One time Neta and her friends came to visit him at the boarding school, but he had already felt the distance between them. The image of the school girl Neta had once been, turned into a total city girl. With all the accessories attached, she looked more like a woman than the little girl he used to know. She wore clothes that were different from what she used to wear in boarding school, and he felt like he was also a part of her childhood she had removed. On rare occasions when she visited him along with her friends, she was in a hurry to part from him to go to theaters or some other place, reminding him there were things that did not just pass through him but rather, they passed over him.

One morning, he saw Solomon approaching him with a smile on his face, which was not common for him. Solomon loved Daniel so much, but he never externalized it. Daniel presumed Solomon did not want the other children to feel he was giving him special treatment.

"Daniel, I have wonderful news." Solomon tapped his shoulder.

"Get dressed and I will wait for you in the car. I want to show you something."

Daniel tried to guess what the news could be, and what was so important he wanted to show him. He tried to ask, but Solomon said he would explain it in the car. He got dressed quickly.

"We're going to see your new school,” Solomon broke the news, pulling Daniel from his reality and pushing him toward the opportunity that awaited him – to meet his old friends in the new boarding school. But Solomon was busy in his world and didn’t notice the disappointment on Daniel’s face. "You will continue to live at the boarding school for the next six years, but you will study at another school every day.”

Daniel’s head seemed to switch from channel to channel. A moment ago, he was informed he would not be moving with most of his friends to another boarding school, and he was disappointed. And now he was told he would be attending an outside school. He tried to internalize the news with conviction. There was a big smile on his face. The traces of disappointment that had spread across his face a while ago suddenly vanished. Leaving the boarding school every day and spending half the day roaming around finally, he would have some freedom, and this was great news for sure!

Solomon was nice all the way and explained to Daniel the reasons that led him to this decision, and how the plan would be implemented. A room would be allocated for him in the boarding school where he could do as he pleased, put in a television, host friends, sleep and do homework at his discretion. Only one rule was imposed on him; he could bring guests or be a guest in someone else’s house but it required Solomon’s permission. Daniel agreed to all conditions and sealed the agreement with a kiss on Solomon’s cheek, who, so to speak, tried to dissuade him - to keep a distance between a principal and a student.

Days and months had passed and his relationship with Neta was slowly deteriorating. They tried to call each other several times, but the relationship was not the same as what they had shared when they were both living in the same boarding school. Distance was a great obstacle to their relationship. However, his relationship with his new colleagues grew stronger. On holidays, he was always invited by his classmates and had the opportunity to see lifestyles that were very different from what he was used to. At the boarding school, everybody was needy and had a problem going back home where life was so complicated and they just preferred to stay on campus. However, in his new school, his classmates had normal families and he found himself being a guest in their homes and tried to accept those times they asked him to host them in his room. He couldn’t believe they envied the freedom he had, as he would have traded with them willingly.

Solomon was so happy to see Daniel was able to adapt himself to the new environment and become a leader there too, just as he was at the boarding school. He knew Daniel could deal with every situation he encountered, no matter what. He saw unique features and a high-quality drive from him that would always stand out among his friends.

When Daniel finished high school, he had to say goodbye to his friends. He was sad he couldn’t join the army like them in order to find a place for him to live for three years. It was because he didn’t have citizenship. He walked three of his friends to the army bus. They looked at him, smiling through the window, "How fun for you to sleep in your bed tonight while we are going to work our ass off."

In the evening, when he returned to his room near the old central bus station in Tel Aviv, he lay in bed watching TV, a fifteen-inch TV set on top of a loose chair. "What a stinky hole!" A spark of joy kindled in his heart as he recalled this catch phrase from Neta. He looked at last Saturday’s paper. For the first time, he realized his grandfather owned a yacht in the marina in Tel Aviv. It was a yacht with three decks, a length of twenty-four meters, with an estimated worth of ten million dollars. Next to the picture of the yacht, was a picture of his grandfather and his only son, Daniel’s father. His mother never talked about his father. She talked mostly about his grandfather. This was the first time he saw his father's image. He cut the picture from the newspaper and put it on the table. The closeness gave him a lovely feeling. Since then, Daniel adopted a new route. From his work, he passed by the Marina and from there, headed straight to his room in south Tel-Aviv. He felt he always seemed to be captivated by magic every time he passed by and looked at his grandfather’s boat. He thought a good life was within his reach, and maybe at some point after all, there was a glimmer of hope… some hope for change in his life. Daniel tried to picture meeting with his grandfather, and the things they would say to one another. He watched the seagulls sitting calmly above the water, after sailing from a stinky zone. This was his life - one dark side and the other glowing bright.