Authors: Danielle Steel
“We?” she asked. “Are you taking a friend?” But she already suspected. She had seen them out walking together more than once, and Marielle was pleased. Perhaps more than anyone, they deserved it.
“All right, all right,” he laughed. He knew that she had already guessed. He knew how wise she was, and the odd thing was, he still loved her.
“Anyone I know?” After so many years apart, it was odd to be so friendly again, except she knew now that they would never really be apart again. Suddenly, it was all so different.
“I'm taking Bea to Paris with me.”
“You should. You owe her at least that,” Marielle teased, and he laughed.
“She was awfully good to me during the trial.” And even better to him since then. He stayed for a little while, and Marielle kissed him when he left, but he caused her no pain and she wished him well. She was free of him now. But she still loved him.
The one she didn't love was Malcolm. She feared what would happen after his trial. Somehow, she knew that, because of his connections, if he was hurt at all,- it wouldn't be for long, and she wanted to be as far away from him as she could be. She didn't want him anywhere near Teddy. But John Taylor had promised her unlimited protection. But she knew that she couldn't run away forever either. At some point, she would have to stand and face him. But the FBI had sworn that Malcolm would never again take Teddy. He had pushed her for so long, had been so cruel, and had been so coldhearted in the terrible things he had done that he would even be denied visitation.
Sometimes she wondered if she would ever love and trust anyone again, except Teddy. He was everything that mattered. He was the joy and the life and the spirit that she lived for.
The day before they left for Vermont, she packed the rest of her things. She could hardly wait to leave Malcolm's home. They were taking all of their things with them. She had told Malcolm the house would be vacant when he got back with Brigitte. And Marielle was more than willing to stay at a hotel with Teddy. For her, the house was now haunted and she didn't want to be there.
It had been difficult explaining it to Teddy. He still didn't know that it was his father who had had him kidnapped. And instinctively, he had sensed something was wrong, and he had heard whispers here and there, but he was still so young, he didn't really understand it. Marielle had told him that Malcolm was away for a long, long time, and it was unlikely they would see him. Teddy was surprised, but not sad, and he seemed happy just being with his mother.
The doorbell rang the night before they left, and Haverford came to tell her it was Tom Armour. She was surprised he had come to see her. Charles was gone by then, and she hadn't seen Tom since the trial, but he had heard from John Taylor that she was leaving.
She walked slowly down the stairs to meet him. And he looked very handsome and young, and a little ill at ease as he stood there. Marielle was friendly and warm, as she greeted him, acting as though his visit had been expected.
“I heard in court today that you're leaving,” he said awkwardly, as she shook his hand, and Haverford disappeared to make coffee. He had been meaning to come and see her for a while, but he'd been putting it off, till he could get up his courage. He'd wanted to come and say good-bye to her himself. He had wanted to say something to her ever since the end of the trial, and with everything that had happened, he had never had the chance to. “You're going to Vermont?” That was all that Taylor had told him, but his eyes told their own tale, and for an instant, Tom had wondered what had happened.
She nodded with a smile, as they sat down in the library, where, in recent months, so much had happened. She wondered why he had come by. But she was happy to see him. He had done a good job for Charles, and she had always liked him. He had been decent to her when she was on the stand, and she had always sensed his strength and innate kindness.
“Teddy and I need to get away,” she explained, as Haverford appeared with the coffee, and then disappeared just as quickly.
“How is he now?” He inquired about the boy, as he looked around. It was a magnificent home, and he couldn't help wondering if she was sorry to leave it. But she smiled as she watched his face. She knew what he was thinking, and she had no regrets. She couldn't wait to leave now.
“He's fine. He still has nightmares sometimes, and he doesn't like to talk about what happened.”
“Understandably.” They both knew it was going to mark him forever. And he still had no idea that the kidnapping had been masterminded by his father. Marielle was hoping she wouldn't have to tell him for years, which Tom thought was incredibly decent of her, but from what he'd seen of her during the trial, it didn't surprise him.
She seemed peaceful now, very calm and subdued, and her eyes were serious, but in a quiet way, she looked happy.
“And you?” he asked gently, as he looked at her. “You're all right? No more headaches?”
She smiled in answer. She hadn't had one since the trial. For the first time in years, she felt totally healthy. It was as though she had survived some terrible test, and having come through it the ghosts had finally been laid to rest, and she was much stronger. “I'm fine.” She wanted to thank him for his kindness during the trial, but she wasn't quite sure how to do it, and she tried not to notice how handsome he looked in white slacks, a blazer, and red tie, but he was a good-looking man, and she blushed as she turned away to straighten a book on the table.
“Marielle …” He knew it would have to come from him. But he didn't want her to leave town before he had spoken to her. “I …I'd like to call you when you're in Vermont …” She looked at him with wide eyes, surprised by what he had said, and suddenly wondering if he was representing Malcolm. But he saw the look in her eyes and he gently touched her hand to reassure her. “I'm not sure I'm making myself clear …I'm making a terrible botch of this.” He suddenly looked embarrassed and boyish, and they both felt like two children. “It's been a long time since I've done anything like this.” It had been a long time since he'd met anyone even remotely like her. She reminded him so much of his late wife. And yet, she was also very different. Marielle had more integrity than any woman he'd ever known, more strength, more fortitude, possibly more kindness. And she hadn't been very lucky in the last ten years. When she came back from Vermont, he was hoping to change that. “Will you have a phone in Vermont?” He was still stumbling around, trying to talk to her about the future, and suddenly Marielle laughed. She thought she understood, but it was difficult to believe it. He had always been so businesslike, so cool, and yet beneath the serious air ran powerful emotions.
“I think we'll have a party line.”
“Good. Then well give your neighbors a thrill,” he laughed. “I'll try to think up some really juicy news to tell you when I call you.” But there had already been enough of that, they both knew, for the past several months. She was hoping that life would be ordinary now, and she looked at him with interest as they chatted about her new life in the country. She was only going to be there for a few months, until Malcolm's trial. And then she would have to come back and find an apartment for herself and Teddy. Haverford was leaving them the next day, when they left for their adventure in Vermont. And when they came back, life was going to be very different, but she didn't regret it.
“Would it be too soon if …” He ventured on, feeling more awkward than a schoolboy, “… if when you got back, I …we …” He almost groaned as he looked at her, he couldn't believe this was as difficult as it was. He had been thinking of her for weeks, in ways he hadn't thought of anyone in years, and he had never thought anything would ever come of it, and now he was finding it impossible to tell her. He finally took a deep breath, took her hand in his own with an earnest expression. “Marielle …you're an extraordinary woman. I'd like very much to get to know you.” There. He had finally said it, and he felt relief sweep over him. Even if she told him she never wanted to see him again, at least she knew to some small extent how much he liked her. “I've admired you since the first moment I saw you.”
She blushed again, feeling oddly vulnerable and very young, and when she looked at him, he saw something in her eyes that almost made him feel that he was melting.
“It's amazing to think that from so much pain …from such a terrible thing … so many good things have happened.” She was very gentle as she spoke, and very grateful for the blessings she had received. And as she looked at Tom, wanting to say so many things, there was a sound at the door of the library, and her greatest blessing appeared in blue pajamas.
“What are you doing here?” she said as she grinned, and Teddy bounded into the room with a look of mischief.
“I couldn't sleep without you.” He climbed up on her lap, and looked at Tom with interest.
“Yes, you could. You were snoring when I left.”
“No, I wasn't,” he denied it, and Marielle introduced Tom to Teddy, without explaining how she knew him. “I was faking,” he announced. But he yawned happily as he said it, and leaned possessively against his mother.
“I hear you're going to Vermont,” Tom said easily. He loved children, and after all they'd been through over him, more particularly this one.
“Yeah,” Teddy said proudly, “and we're going to have cows and horses and chickens. And Mommy says I'm going to ride a pony.”
“I used to spend my summers in Vermont when I was your age.” Tom smiled at him, and then over his head at his mother. He had said enough. No matter how awkwardly put, she had clearly understood his intentions, and she liked them. A private look passed between them over the boy's head that brought them suddenly closer.
“Did you have a pony?” Teddy inquired, suddenly intrigued by him. He hadn't seen his Daddy in a long time, and sometimes he still missed him. And Mommy said he'd gone on a long, long trip. He was probably in Africa somewhere, or on a ship, and they couldn't even call him.
“I did have a pony. And I had a cow I had to milk all by myself. If I come to Vermont, I'll show you how.”
“Are you coming to Vermont?” Teddy looked seriously interested, and in point of fact, so did his mother.
“I hadn't thought of it,” he had planned on waiting till she got back, “but actually that's not a bad idea.” He glanced at Marielle inquiringly and they exchanged another smile. He was happy he had been brave enough to come over and see her before she left. Otherwise, he might have tortured himself for months, and perhaps now he wouldn't have to. “Maybe I could come up for a weekend.” He knew a lovely hotel near where they were going, and the idea suddenly held enormous appeal, as he watched the boy with his mother.
“Can you still ride a horse?” Teddy asked him seriously.
“I think so,” Tom laughed.
“If you can't,” Teddy offered generously, 'I'll teach you.” The three of them laughed, as they wandered to the kitchen to find Teddy a cookie. Haverford had gone to his room. He had to pack the last of his own things, and Marielle knew he was sorry to leave them. But he hadn't wanted to continue in Malcolm's employ, and Marielle could no longer afford him. She had accepted a small settlement from Malcolm and that was all she wanted. Teddy would inherit the rest from Malcolm when he was older.
Tom poured him a glass of milk, and Marielle found the last of the chocolate chip cookies, and in the end, the three of them sat talking and laughing and eating cookies until long, long after Teddy's bedtime. It was almost eleven when Tom finally left. He helped her put Teddy to bed, and then they both came downstairs so she could let Tom out, and he stood at the front door, looking at her for a long, hungry moment.
“Thank you for letting me spend some time with you tonight,” he said, wanting to touch her hair, and her cheek, and her neck, but it was too soon and he knew it.
“I'm glad you came by.” She hadn't expected ever to see him again, and she had regretted it. Now his visit had opened a whole new horizon. She still missed John Taylor, but she knew she had made the right decision, for his sake. And spending some time with Tom was like an unexpected gift and she was grateful. “I always wanted to tell you how much I admired you in court,” she said softly, but he didn't want her thinking of that anymore. He only wanted her to think of Vermont, and happy things, and summers in the country with Teddy. And when she came back for Malcolm's trial, he already knew he was going to be there to help her. He didn't want her to go through it alone. He didn't want her to go through anything difficult again, only happiness and peaceful things, if he could do anything about it.
“Don't think of that,” he said gently. He couldn't stop himself from reaching a hand out to her and bringing her closer. “Don't think of it anymore.” The past was over. Hers, as well as his own. There was too much pain there, and he wanted to close those doors firmly behind them. “Just think °f Teddy and his pony.” They both smiled and then his eyes grew serious as they stood very close to each other. “I'll miss you when you're in Vermont.” The crazy thing was he meant it. They scarcely knew each other, and yet they did. He knew her better than most of his closest friends, better in some ways than he'd known any of the women he'd gone out with. And he loved everything he knew about her.
“I'll miss you too,” she smiled at him, feeling hope for the first time in years, and totally at ease with him. “We'll call you on our party line.”
“I'll call you first,” he whispered. He had already written down the number. “Drive carefully.” He pulled her closer to him then and she closed her eyes when he kissed her. “Good night, Marielle …see you soon …” He looked at her for a last time as he stood in the doorway, and then he was gone, and she closed the door, thinking of how odd life was. You never knew what was going to happen. She had thought so many things that had been untrue in her lifetime …that she and Charles would be together forever, that their life would be happy and exciting and full of children …and that Malcolm would cherish and protect her forever …that nothing terrible would ever happen to them because he was so decent and so solid …and then she had feared that Teddy would never come back to her again. She had been wrong about everything, and especially, thank God, about Teddy. He was home again. He was all that truly mattered. He was the shining star of hope that she had survived for. But now, there was something more than that. The others had gone. The nightmares were past. The dreams had vanished in the mists. And she and Teddy were alone, with their bad memories and their good ones, and their whole lives before them. The sorrows would strengthen them, she knew. And the time in Vermont would do them good …and when they came home, they would begin a whole new life …and Tom Armour would be waiting for them, with all the decency and kindness he had to offer. And maybe their dreams would come true, and maybe they wouldn't. She hoped they would, and so did he, as he walked home to his apartment. She hoped the nightmares would never come again, to either of them. She hoped many things, and most of them about Teddy.